Need inspiration for 10-year anniversary

You don't mention your location. Hawaii is a long trip from the East Coast and Europe is a lot of travel from the West Coast so with only 7 days that would be a big consideration for me. Of course I would say Italy because that is my preference but from the sound of your post I would consider another alternative to keep the wife happy and give her a well deserved rest. Been to Hawaii several times and there is a lot to see and do but everything is an event requiring transportation and usually waking up early.
I suggest an all inclusive Jamaican resort where your wife doesn't have to think about anything and you can still have a lot to do. We went to Couples a few years ago and my wife relaxed but we could go sailing or snorkeling or any number of activities with very little planning. There aren't any kids either.

Great point. We're in Ohio so Hawaii would be across the country via California; Europe would be via New York or Washington DC. On cruises and other trips, we've dotted the Caribbean and I'm fairly sick of it all to be honest. We've been to the Bahamas several times, Puerto Rico, an all-inclusive in the Dominican Republic, and dotted the Virgin Islands, Saint Maarten, Antigua, St. Lucia, and Barbados on cruises. Just over a year ago we spent an amazing 5 nights in Aruba.

Nothing against it at all because it is certainly has a place, but to me so much of the Caribbean is mass-market, culturally deprived tourism that doesn't provide much of a real interaction. In fact, we're going on another cruise there is July with our extended family.

I still remember that exhaustion of taking care of small children (or child even). And yet I would always vote for Italy over Hawaii. I find a lot of people who have never traveled internationally, besides beaches, don't understand the draw until they are actually dragged over there. In Italy, you don't have to go to a single museum. Instead, just sleep late, stroll in another world, eat fine food and wine... Italy is a romantic place, particularly outside of Rome (only because it is so large, might not be relaxing for an exhausted mother.) I'd suggest Florence. Or, if you can't convince her, try the Azores instead of Hawaii, beaches and old world. Nonetheless, I'd pick Italy. IMO only.

Given your very short time frame and the fact that your wife needs a relatively relaxing vacation (who can blame her!), I think you need to fly someplace and stay there, not move around. Italy is a little closer, but not that much, so I don't think you can decide based on that. If you want to go in the summer, I would rule out Italy for being too hot. I know Hawaii is hot too, but it's pretty pleasant by the water and has good air-conditioning in the hotels.

I know you could have a great trip to Hawaii, which I need to point out has some culture too. It's not old world Europe, but it is an interesting place. I loved it and I am not into beach vacations at all.

The main question for me is can you pick one spot in Italy (maybe two if they are close together) and soak up enough culture to make your wife see what Europe has to offer. I would guess you can. The temptation for me would be to try to cram too much in make it totally unrelaxing, which would be fine with me, but might kill it for your wife. If you're going to do two nights in Rome, two nights in Florence and two nights in Venice, I don't think that's going to work. A week in Tuscany, or something like that might be great. (Full disclosure: I haven't been to Italy, so I am going by my experience with other parts of Europe and what I have read about Italy.)

I agree with Wray that sometimes you have to force someone to get out of their comfort zone and show them what they are missing, but that does pose a dilemma. On one hand if pressuring your wife to go to Italy makes her truly unhappy, it won't be a fun vacation for either of you and that's not good, especially on a 10 yr anniversary. On the other hand, if she intends to spend her life taking vacations cruising and 'islanding', maybe it's because she desires to only see the idyllic places and isn't interested in getting to know the real world outside her comfort zone.

You say it's in 2016 but you don't say when. If going in mid-summer and your wife doesn't tolerate heat well, Italy may not be the best choice - while it can be hot in the islands, those breezes do mitigate it somewhat. But if it's in spring or fall, then I hope you can convince her to try Italy. With 8 days, I would opt to fly into Venice, spend 3 nights then train to Florence for the remainder of the time, taking a day trip to one of the hill towns and then flying home from there. I can't imagine anything more romantic for an anniversary.

Good luck to you.

Three nights Venice at a hotel in Canarregio or Castello (less hectic than San Marco area), the rest at Lago di Garda so she can have some beach time and some day trips near the lake.

Great idea Zoe about splitting time between Venice and one of the lakes. The best of both worlds and opportunity to see some smaller towns in Italy.

These are all great ideas; maybe we're on to something here!!

@Wray/Nancy- re dragging people out of their comfort zone. Spot on- that's what I'm trying to do here, but it needs to be with a careful touch. If wife isn't excited about the trip, then it's doomed from the beginning.

@Carroll re sticking to just 1-2 spots. It would probably eat away at me, but I think I'd be willing to forego Rome or some of the other amazing sites in order to help accomplish the primary objective, which is to 'burst the bubble' of hedonistic style vacations and show there is more to travel than just that.

@Zoe re Lago di Garda... i think my wife could be a bit too much of a beach aficionado to enjoy a pebble beach- she craves the stereotypical beaches with endless fine-grained crystal sand. It's really hard to get wife to think about anything other than 'beach, beach, beach'.

@Nancy re time of year- we'd be going in Late August / Early September 2016- just after the kids go back to school to make the childcare responsibilities a bit less difficult for the in-laws.

muirhejs, maybe you can bribe her with the promise of another beach vacation the following year. Early September would be a fine time for the lakes and Venice. And even if she doesn't like the pebble beaches, there's always just sitting on a deck or balcony sipping a fine wine and looking at the water. I've never been to Lake Garda but have stayed in Stresa on Lake Maggiore - it's old Italy but also a resort area and you could take a short boat ride to the islands, maybe not like the islands she's used to but lovely just the same.

Also..

@Nancy- "she desires to only see the idyllic places and isn't interested in getting to know the real world outside her comfort zone."

This is also spot-on. She has very little interest in learning about the real world- anything outside of the United States, Caribbean, or Hawaii. I'd say her perspective is probably something like:

1. Places "over there" (e.g. Europe, Africa, India, China, etc.) don't have anything to do with her or her history (other than Ireland which her family's history originates from)
2. Europe = London, and London = cold, rainy, and gloomy (with no beaches other than Bournemouth, which I travel to).
3. History is boring, and a vacation is NOT taking a group tour to learn about some old places; it's NOT going into some museum with a bunch of old things that have no direct relevance to her life. (In many ways I agree with her point here!)

She's more interested in natural wonders like volcanoes; I'm more interested in local metropolitan cultural interactions.

@Nancy re bribe

I think the tricky thing is that this is probably our '1 big trip' without kids for the foreseeable future. The in-laws are getting older and we had to beg them to entertain the concept of helping with the kids for the 7-8 night trip in 2016. If there was a way to work around that, certainly I could promise her Hawaii in 2017, but I don't know how we'd pull it off :-/

First I misread your post and thought you were going with kids. I that case Hawaii of course. Without kids - Italy. With 7 to 8 days you have time for Venice and Rome. If you somehow can get 10 days then I would add Cinque Terre. You don't say when you go. Italy can be hot June to September. But you should be used to it. Heat in Ohio is more oppressive. I know that very well. Used to live in Pennsylvania.

If nature and sandy beaches are her "thing", then maybe Sicily or the Greek Islands would be a better introduction to Europe for her. On Sicily we stayed at Giardini Naxos (below the old town of Taormina) a resort area on a beautiful sandy beach - think sitting in a beach chair with an umbrella drink between dips in the water. And a trip to Mt Etna (very active volcano) is just one of the things to see and do.

The Greek Islands are also known for their lovely beaches and interesting old town areas, and oh, those sunsets!

Just throwing out ideas here, but I think you may be fighting a losing battle.

Time for rock, paper, scissors?

Seriously, I would never try to talk my spouse into a vacation outside his comfort zone for an anniversary trip. (Fortunately he is ready for most anything from camping/backpacking to opera in Italy, so I have not had to talk him into anything).

Since it appears you enjoy cruises, have you considered a cruise to Alaska? The scenery is spectacular (glaciers and waterfalls, fjords, snowy peaks); you can relax or be as active as you wish with shore excursions. most of the cruises are one week, either northbound or southbound, between Vancouver or Seattle and Seward, Alaska. Just a thought.

@Lola- fair point. The alternative is to settle on Hawaii or something more in the comfort zone. The challenge there is that since I've been there once already for the Ironman triathlon many years ago, and now have a number of globe-trotting years under my belt, I'm having trouble really getting inspired. Volcano? Terrific- done it. Beautiful beaches? Check. Black sand? Yes, have that checked off as well. Now granted, I haven't been to Hawaii with her, and I'm sure that would add something special...

Being the terrific and unselfish person she is, my wife doesn't want to have me dragged along to something I can't really get excited about either! We both do genuinely want to come up with something that satisfies not only ourselves!

Sometimes it seems like we should just forget the whole thing!!!! :-/

@Nancy- Giardini Naxos looks like it has potential. Will add Sicily to our list of places to check out some more

We've also discussed the Alaskan cruise idea... 'too cold'.

"We've also discussed the Alaskan cruise idea... 'too cold'."

Yup, and no sandy beaches at the port stops either. ☺

What about a Greek Island cruise? Comfort and decadence of ship, WARMTH, and some 'culture' too!

I am actually on your side of this debate. Although I grew up at a nice beach in California ( think "the OC"). I am a mountain person, not a beach person. I need active vacations---like hiking the John Muir trail ( all 210 miles of it) or hut-to -hut mountain biking in Colorado. One trip to Hawaii 40 years ago was enough for a lifetime. So I understand your point of view.

We love Italy and actually spent our own 10th anniversary there; our third visit. We are going back in the fall. I am fortunate in that my husband and I agree on these things.

As I said above, I would not try to talk my spouse into something he didn't want to do for an anniversary celebration. By the same token, you shouldn't have to go to Hawaii if you don't want, just to please your wife. Maybe there is an alternate destination in the South Pacific that would appeal to both of you? Australia or New Zealand? (We just spent most of January in New Zealand and it was lovely. We were in search of active adventure so did not spend time at the beach, but there are some lovely ones there.)

Or maybe you could get her to go to Italy for an occasion other than your anniversary, such as your birthday? Celebrate the anniversary with a nice weekend at a spa or resort close by, and save the grandparent offer of child are for the longer trip?

@Lola- thanks for the response.... Would LOVE to do New Zealand or Australia. I'm thinking for just 7-8 days they're simply too far away- travel time to/from leaves us with just not enough time actually there to make it worth it. We've thought about South America a bit (Brazil?) but I think it's missing some of the 'old world' sort of thing that I'm really after.

@Toni- Greek Island Cruise could DEFINITELY be a possibility... would be interested in any view into how the economic chaos in Greece influences this option!

How about the French Riviera? Beautiful beaches, some pebbly some sandy. I love Nice -- a lovely, relaxing place.

One of the best and most relaxing trips I ever took was to Greece. We had more time than you do, so I would definitely head straight for an Island. You wouldn't have to do a cruise if those are too pricey. What made our trip so relaxing was that we slowed down to the Mediterranean/ Greek pace. The beaches are wonderful. If you go to Santorini, you'll find volcanoes too. :)

You might want to think about Crete. When we visited we focused on the middle and western end of the island, but the eastern end has wonderful resorts from what I hear.

Pam

Thanks everyone for your suggestions so far. I mentioned them all to my wife. She wanted to know, 'what makes each of these places romantic?'... e.g. she looked into Venice and saw Casanova was from there- she's heard of Casanova and found that interesting.

Here's the list we're currently going to start investigating a bit more. In no particular order...:

• Hawaii (wife's top choice- obviously not in Europe!)
• Venice
• Florence/Tuscany
• Rome
• Sicily
• Greece / Greek Islands / Crete / Santorini
• French Riviera
• General Mediterranean Cruise

Can anyone name the highlights worth sharing for each location? (Remember... we're not history buffs so this could be a little tricky!!)

Everyone I know who has been to the Greek islands absolutely loved the trip. This includes my husband, who went there long before we met. I would not expect tourism in the islands to be affected much by the economic woes, but hopefully someone has hard information on that.

Venice is our favorite city in the world ( starting with our honeymoon there). It is beautiful in a run-down sort of way. I think it is most meaningful to people who study the history and know what they are looking at.

We are not Florence fans and will be in Rome for the first time in October.

Actually for romance in Italy I would suggest the Amalfi coast, Cinque Terre, and/or one of the lakes. Varenna on Lake Como is very romantic. People like Bellagio as well. And our hotel in Manarola ( Cinque Terre) was what my husband pronounced "the best hotel in the world." Maybe an exaggeration but we only do 3 star hotels, and La Torretta is lovely and very romantic ( get a room with balcony).

Www.torrettas.com

Motherhood is very rewarding, but caring for three children under the age of 7 can be exhausting. ( Been there, done that :-) )
Sounds as if she needs a restful, peaceful vacation with lots of time to relax. If she likes beaches and you like Italy, there's a wonderful island just off the Amalfi Coast, called Ischia, with beautiful sandy beaches, cool ocean breezes, and great hotels and resorts. It's off the beaten path, so it's much quieter than touristy Capri which is close by. You could spend several days just relaxing on the beautiful beach, then some days seeing the lovely towns on the Amalfi Coast. Rick has a great video about the Amalfi Coast.

Another option is the Greek Islands cruise, which was mentioned above. I took a 5 day cruise and loved every minute of it. It's relaxing, with gorgeous scenery, fabulous views from the ocean, and you'll learn a lot about Greek history and culture, especially if the ship stops at the island of Crete. Well worth the money, and the ocean breeze keeps the temperature very moderate. Have fun, and happy traveling. -- Daryl Lynn

muir,

It's late so I only have a few thoughts to add......

Hawaii is always nice but depending on which island you choose, it may be somewhat similar to being "at home", especially as you'd still be speaking English and working with US dollars. Italy (or elsewhere in Europe) would be more of an "exotic" location with different languages, customs and foods (and probably more memorable for an anniversary). With such a short time frame, if you decide on Europe it would be best to limit your stay to one or possibly two locations as you won't have time for any more due to the flight days to get there and back.

While the Greek Islands are nice, they wouldn't be my first choice as the transportation will require more time. IMO, it would be best to stick with more easily accessible locations. That will probably also limit you to one place for the entire trip, with no day trips possible. My suggestion would be somewhere in Italy.

Volcanoes, huh? Taormina is near Mount Etna, which is active, and there's Lipari, which can get you to Stromboli by ferry. Lipari can be reached by ferry from Milazzo. Lipari is also a nice, laid back place to spend a few days - about 10 kilometers from the main city and harbor is a beach area, looked sandy to me.

EDIT: Stromboli has at least one black volcanic sand beach. You can hire a 3-wheel taxi to get you to the volcano.

This would be someplace new for both of you, so that levels the playing field.

Or, compromise: go to Hawaii for the tenth and go to Europe for the 20th.

The suggestions for Greek Islands or Sicily sound wonderful BUT I will put my 2 cents in and agree with the Island of Ischia out of Sorrento. I spent an absolutely fabulous day at one of the thermal spas and told myself that when I go back to the Amalfi coast, I would spend at least two or three nights there. The island is super relaxing and, like another poster mentioned, away from the big tourist areas of Capri. You could base yourself in Sorrento and if you felt inspired to visit Pompeii, it isn't but a quick train trip from Sorrento. It sounds like you and your wife just need a wonderful romantic place to chill and my vote would be Ischia. It would make a nice destination for an anniversary.

Happy travels. Linda

So, I thought I'd check out why people think the Greek Islands are romantic. Here's what found.

Ten Most Romantic Places in Greece.

An article from The Guardian.

And then the Greece National Tourist Organization points out that Eros is from Greece....

Pam

Happy anniversary! Not to make this more confusing but I'm surprised that Paris isn't on your list. If you're looking for a romantic destination, that's it for me. You can make the trip as active or relaxed as you wish.

Hawaii.
Now you have to pick an island.
Maybe you're familiar with the 5 or 6 main islands in Hawaii? If you're not, come on back and we'll try to help with that.

What time of year are you going? The weather at the beach in Hawaii is nearly always perfect. ... in Greece, you need to choose the right time of year to get a time when the water is warm and the air is not too hot.

Having been to both Hawaii and Italy recently I also think that Italy would be a better option. It doesn't sound like she wants to do the whirl wind see 4 cities in a week tour, but there are areas that you can find her beach and relaxation. I like Cinque Terre for the hiking, there is some 'beach' with sand that is like midwest lake beaches but it might not fit her guidelines. I know others have suggested areas in the south that would have better beach areas. If you are thinking of visiting Venice there is the Lido that has a beach. It looks good from pictures but I did not check it out when I was there. Venice can be very romantic, and a great place to take it slow and relax. It can be mobbed at times with tourists (as can Hawaii) but some research and planning can help to avoid the people.
Happy Anniversary

OK - so I'm jumping in this disucssion a bit late, but here are a few thoughts.

1. I think the Mediteranean Cruise option may be your best bet. I took one with my family last year (my wife/kids and my parents). This let my mom (who would much prefer Hawaii over Italy) experience Europe for the first and probably only time while having the safety net of English-speaking staff, familiar food on the ship, and the ability to just stay on the boat and relax if she wanted (which she did a couple of days). We did a couple of excursions and planned the rest of the itinerary ourselves depending on how everyone felt and who decided to come exploring that day. It was a good Europe-light option. You can also fly into your starting city a day or two early for a fuller experience if you'd like at the start.

2. Hawaii is a great choice, especially of you enjoy outdoor activities. There are plenty options throughout the islands. I would suggest you stay outside of Honolulu. The north shore has a good option (Turtle Bay) if you want to stay on Oahu. Maui and the big island also have some good options.

3. If you stay in Tuscany you can day trip to see and do quite a bit without having to relocate from your base hotel. I'd recommend Siena if you want to stay in a location with a lot of character and good transportation options. You can day trip to Florence and to smaller hill towns from there. If you'll have a car, you can stay in one of the many hill towns or agritourismos in the area which may be a more relaxing option.

4. Venice is a one of a kind place, but you will be a little more limited on traveling farther afield. Rome is great, but very big city-like and intense which may not be preferrable. I can't speak to Greece or Sicily. I'd vote no on the French Riviera and go to Hawaii if the beach is the driver for the location you pick.

Good luck and have fun!

Hi Muirhejs,

I agree a Mediterranean cruise might be a great compromise. :) You can [both] day trip around the city-stops, but your wife can still enjoy the comforts and atmosphere of a beach-type vacation (laying on the deck, dipping in the pool, etc.). I'm sure if you found the right cruise line, there would even be a day at the beach (however, most Med. beaches are pebbly, not sandy). Then, you could also could also expose her to European cities. The website www.cruisecritic.com may be a good place to start. They have info about all different cruise lines. I agree with Ken, with that Greece is kind of far to travel for one week; however, it is doable if that's what your wife is interested in. Or, you could do a cruise that follows along from Spain to France to Italy or one portion of those.

Perhaps once she sees some of Europe and the cities she may become enamored, or at the very least, willing to go again sometime in the future (if you are willing to alternate with the Caribbean).

Good Luck! I'm single and I keep trying to get my Mom to go to Europe and she won't (no matter what). I don't mind traveling alone, but it would be nice to have someone along once in a while. I understand your frustration.

:) Enjoy!

Thanks everyone for the enthusiastic responses!!! Our current thinking is that we may want to do a Mediterranean Cruise- it seems to be the best of both worlds & the most likely compromise that we can both get excited about. One thing I hadn't really thought of until now is the inevitable transportation hassles that can make things a bit more difficult- since my wife is really all about relaxing, these bumps in the road could definitely put a damper in things.

I think if we do the cruise, we can try to absorb a lot of the Rick Steves approach to cruising to try to get a bit of a taste of what Europe is really like, which is my overall goal. The comfort of the American ship/food/language would make this a little less scary of an idea for us to bet on for our 10-year anniversary!

Hopefully if we do end up going with the cruise, my wife will be able to push just outside of her comfort zone and gain an interest that makes us look at some of these other amazing destinations in the future!!

As a mother myself, I wonder if what she needs more than anything is something relaxing, slower pace, but not necessarily a beach..? I use to love beach destinations, but now after experiencing Europe, I have no more interest in beaches. I would hate to have her experience a rocky beach and be disappointed, so maybe a beautiful location is better.

A cruise maybe the best option, but you could also start in a quiet area of Italy and also add Venice which is very romantic, yet a bit crowded.

Either fly to Milan and train out to Lake Como (Varenna - very small quiet village on the lake) and stay put there a few days staying in nice place with lake views. Make it relaxing just walking through town, sitting by the lake, boat to other parts of the lake (Bellagio) for relaxing exploration. Have dinner lake side every night walks along the lake after dark, enjoy the views of the Swiss Alps in the background.

Or, fly to Florence and rent a car and stay in the countryside in Tuscany for a few days, or even for the whole time. You could stay a nice agriturismo that has a pool and drive to hill towns to explore returning for an afternoon at the pool and then dinner.

You could do either of these the full time, or add Venice on the end of the trip since it will be more crowded and a bit more crazy, yet romantic and beautiful. The key to Venice is to leave the crowds for the back alleys. You can take the Vaporettos to Burano and Murano and wander around there, too. Take a late night gondola ride. Venice is very beautiful (nothing like it) but you just have to do it in a relaxing way. I think she would be happy if you slept in, had relaxing meals, walks to explore the area, just wander and enjoy being there without the running from tourist sites to tourist sites. Just be there.....

I understand that flying home from Venice can be a problem if you have a very early flight, so just make sure to book your return flight from Venice later in the morning or afternoon.

One suggestion is to start looking at you tube videos of different locations, or RS TV shows, Rudy Maxa, etc. and together you can see what these areas look like and get a better feel to see if that is interesting. That might excite her. But, the key for a mom is be relaxed, easy going, romantic, so whatever you do, take it slow and easy. She may learn that she doesn't need a beach!

Hi Muir,

Glad to hear you're considering a Mediterranean Cruise. You and your wife may get more excited if you start checking out the ports you may be stopping at. So, I have linked to the RS book about cruise ports.

http://travelstore.ricksteves.com/catalog/index.cfm?fuseaction=product&theParentId=163&id=492.

You may want to check this out as you consider destinations and cruise lines. :). Please come back after your trip and let us know how it goes. :)

Enjoy!

Croatian coast.

If someone is keeping a tally, add one to the Venice Lago di Garda option. Madeira?

'She's more interested in natural wonders like volcanoes; I'm more interested in local metropolitan cultural interactions.'

So that could define your trip-- pick the most beautiful natural wonders of Italy and soak them in. Punctuate these amazing sights with short excursions in small relaxed cities to satisfy your desires. Do this knowing that if you can infect her with the international travel bug, you will have many future trips to pull her further out of her comfort zone. Anything more on the first trip could overwhelm and possibly reinforce her lack of interest. Just being overseas will have her out of comfort zone enough the first time.

I have traveled extensively and can relate to the Hawaii VS Italy scenario. Why not take a river cruise? I would nix the cruise option. Cruises aren't what they used to be and aren't necessarily relaxing, but a river cruise is! I also agree with Greece. One of the most beautiful places, and the islands are gorgeous. Can be VERY hot in the summer so plan on September or May.

You mentioned this is for your 10th Anniversary and your wife just wants to relax. Air travel is not relaxing anymore and can be extremely stressful. I would opt for the least amount of air travel, train, car and bus travel. Be someplace where you can both enjoy life and each other. Moving from city to city isn't relaxing or romantic. If you did this on a cruise that would be different.

Look into the river cruises in Europe, they are a lot of fun!

But.... if you end up with Hawaii, I would suggest Kauai. Very quiet and relaxing! Do check on the rainy season there though. It does rain a lot in Kauai. Oct-Dec are a really good time to be in Hawaii. Low season, weather is usually good, although, it is the end of hurricane season.

You are right - Australia and NZ are way too far for only 7-8 days total and the flight is exhausting. Pass on that for now.

Why resurrect this old post? They already opted in favor of a cruise, maybe Mediterranean or a river cruise.

Quick update for anyone still following along... great responses and fantastic suggestions!

Wife still having trouble getting Hawaii off her mind, so we're still discussing that. Cruises still on the table as an option too. We'll probably sit down and really get into the discussion sometime in the next couple months!

Thanks again!!!

You and your wife sound EXACTLY like my husband and I 15 years ago. We took our first trip alone to Hawaii. Our kids were small, it was a long trip but somehow it didn't feel far from CO because we were still in the US. It was pure heaven. Very little stress and we actually felt good about how much we spent. And I can squeeze blood from a nickel. If she is worrying about her babies, the trip won't be fun for either of you. Our youngest is 13 now, the others are on their own and we feel a bit richer so we've decided to take a month in Europe. So my suggestion: think seriously about Hawaii. Europe will be there when the kids are older. Just my humble opinion. :)

Hi Muihejs, i was looking for a weekend trip for valentines day a while ago and used longweekend.co to get some inspiration. Maybe try that out