Halftime Score: Me, One. Dirtbag Thieves, Zero.

We dragged ourselves and our bags inside and up the stairs. The place was spotless, it was filled with flowers, and smelled like Chardonnay. There was smooth jazz playing softly. A cavernous room had its walls covered with hundreds of old books. Huge windows looked out across…Valparaiso’s gigantic port complex, with a half-dozen modern Chilean Navy warships, a handful of big container ships, countless fishing boats of every size, and the Pacific Ocean beyond. A smiling young woman asked if I was (my name). My wife answered YES!!! The receptionist handed us each a glass of wine, told us about the vineyard outside the city, and said she hoped we would like it. We got checked in, went through the usual formalities, learned about the basement sauna, spa and pool, we discussed restaurant options, etc, got settled in our room. After getting freshened up a bit, we went out and walked up the steep street a couple blocks, stopping to take pictures every few feet, and went to dinner (which was wonderful). When we came home, the streets were dark and empty. I was a little concerned after all the warnings, but it wasn’t far and since we had been traveling for about 36 hours, we were looking forward to hitting the sack.

We had no trouble.

The next day we walked all over parts of Valparaiso. We wandered for hours through the hilly neighborhoods filled with dazzlingly colorful murals, brightly colored homes, shops, restaurants, bars, ice cream parlors, art galleries, and B&Bs. “Art” of some sort, was literally everywhere, on every surface. Some of it was good, some was political, some was crude, some was ugly tags, it was a riot of color, irreverent, whimsical, occasionally obscene, and mostly cheerful. We rode 19th century funiculars up and down the steep hills, wandered down to and through the scruffy and admittedly less charming port district. The city once had 24 funiculars – 24!!! Only a handful are still working, but those are being cherished and maintained. There is a LOT of vertical real estate in these hilly neighborhoods, countless stairs and “passageways” of all sorts. At the top of one funicular, we saw the first evidence of a unique form of public transportation: slides. Yes, like in a school playground. We later saw these scattered through the hilltop neighborhoods - with both kids and adults giddily screaming as they slid down them. There is a LOT of joy and love of life to be seen there.

But…yes, there is crime, too. As we were laughing at a class of school kids - and their teachers - who were hooting and screaming going down a slide, we met another American couple. The woman told me she had been robbed about an hour before. She was standing on a sidewalk in the lower town (where we had just been) when suddenly a man dressed in black ran up to her, grabbed the gold chain necklace she was wearing, yanked it off her, and then disappeared into a market crowd. “It all happened so quickly, we were shocked.” I sympathized, but also thought to myself (perhaps a bit smugly), “Lady, don’t go out wearing gold jewelry here!” Figuring I would never make such a rookie mistake. Well, I don’t own any gold jewelry (but both my wife and I do have expensive toys…).

We had no trouble at all in Valparaiso, except that we didn’t want to leave. We will be back on a future trip to Chile. We had to get to Santiago, for our flight to Easter Island. Our trip back to Santiago (Uber, bus, Uber) was uneventful.

(Continued…)

We checked into our hotel in Santiago (an older, classic place, in a rapidly gentrifying neighborhood of leafy big trees and shade). After a long day, we headed out for dinner. We were a couple blocks from our hotel, navigating on foot to the restaurant via Google maps. I had my wife’s phone in my right hand (the only one of our three devices that had cellular connectivity), a guidebook in my left hand, a jacket draped over my left arm.

Suddenly there was, well, I perceived an explosion of noise and chaos on my left side. My wife grabbed my left arm tightly and yelled “what the f…” Then I felt a hard CRACK on the screen of her phone, which was face-up in my right hand. A motorcycle sped by and shoved us both to the outside edge of the sidewalk. At some point in there, there was an arm and a black gloved hand grabbing my dear wife’s iPhone, which was in my right hand. It all happened in a split-second. The motorcycle roared past us, the rider gunned the engine, and he sped away, down the sidewalk. He was dressed in black from head to toe, had a black helmet on, a dark visor. He was riding a motorcycle with a large box on the back for a delivery service.

My wife’s phone was still in my right hand, gripped tightly.

The motorcycle had disappeared. We were both in shock, but I quickly screamed “Hey, pendejo, come back and try that again, you piece of sh…” I held the phone over my head and waved it around like a trophy. “Hah, hah, Nyah Nyah, come back, mother…!!!” My wife smacked me. And shouted “Shut up!!!” Three older ladies who had been standing nearby saw the whole thing and were quietly laughing at me, smiling and nodding. I noticed they had all locked arms. We dusted ourselves off, tried to calm down, and continued walking towards our restaurant. Our meal was not great. We were still in shock. We walked home, me with my head on a swivel, constantly looking back over my shoulder. I still had the phone in my hand.

In this city, a motorcycle goes by at high speed all the time - like, constantly. Most of them are delivery services. I’ve suddenly become very aware of them. Today, more than once, I saw one coming up behind me out of the corner of my eye. I was throwing elbows, wheeling around, probably bothering innocent gig workers. It’s gonna take me a little while to unclench my fist. The worst are the electric bikes - nearly silent.

But we lost nothing in that encounter, other than perhaps my innocence/overconfidence/hubris. The score stands at Dirtbags, zero. Me, one. And I’m ready to play again. Bring it, mofo.

Our trip is halfway over. Tomorrow we get up early, head to the airport, and fly off to Rapa Nui (Easter Island) where I think crime is essentially nonexistent. But I’ll still be holding onto phones with a death grip.

The bad guys took a run at me, and I won. To hell with them. I’m going to hang out with the big heads, and if anybody wants to mess with me, they better watch out, because I am SO ready. Hold on tight to that phone, boys and girls. And don’t be afraid to throw an elbow if you think it might be needed.

I’ll post some photos and a trip report less focused on fending off rolling thieves, some time after we get home (most likely December).

Iorana!!!

Remind us what Easter Island is called by people who live on Easter Island?

On a recent RS radio show episode there was a guest who spent years there and he seemed ambivalent about the influx of Chilean mainlanders taking up residence in the town.

It’s called Rapa Nui.

“ Iorana “ is the word for both “hello” and “goodbye” (similar to “Aloha”) in the Rapa Nui language.

What a colorful trip report! I am engaged and looking forward to Part Next.

Get a phone leash/lanyard. We started using a coupe, of years ago and it lets you relax a bit about your phone.

Wow, how nerve racking but good for you. We’ve been talking about branching out to South America but then stories like this kinda scare us off.
Will be looking forward to your next report about Easter Island.

Dave in Seattle,
'...and turned to look at me like I was about to drop a toaster into my bathtub.' Outstanding.

Great travel reportage. Looking forward to more from you. Sorry that you two had to experience that unsettling incident. Hoping that the rest/second half goes well without any penalties or comebacks from the opposition. I'll bet that things will be just fine.
I will be relaying your report to our immediate neighbour as he is set to take a loooong cruise that'll include 'Val'.

Ever since we visited the similarly dangerous nearbyish port of Guayaquil, my wife and I have sarcastically referred to it as 'Guy'll kill ya!'
cheers
I am done. The end.

Excellent TR! Can't wait for the rest!

So...what made you guys WANT to go to Valparaiso?

We’ve been talking about branching out to South America but then stories like this kinda scare us off.

Aside to Barbara: Did a month of independent travel in Peru, all over, and it’s a gentle, honest country.

Arrived on Rapa Nui (aka Easter Island, also previously aka Isla de Pascua) noonish today from Santiago. There were dozens of traditional musicians, singers, and dancers greeting the plane out on the tarmac. Passengers received leis (necklaces made of flowers). It was all cute and very old school, yet incongruous: the airport is pretty minimal on this island half way to Tahiti (there used to be flights from Santiago to Rapa Nui and onward to French Polynesia, but those ended with COVID…there are still hand-lettered signs in the terminal directing passengers for Papeete thru the minimalist “terminal”). But in the center of all this old-timey Polynesian airport experience sits the plane that brought us and a hundred other tourists and returning locals, a large 787 jet. They get one or two of them every day in season, no doubt injecting a LOT of tourist money to the local economy and maintaining the thin, tenuous connection to mainland Chile and the outside world.

We were greeted by our lodging host/rental car agent, followed her home and got setttled in our little bungalow with a view of the sea in the distance.

We are currently sitting in what must be the commercial center of beautiful downtown Hanga Roa, the island’s only town. There are a few restaurants fronting the cobalt-blue sea, a handful of shops, a soccer field, some lazy dogs. It’s a pretty laid-back scene. We stopped for lunch and are enjoying the shade, the sea breeze, the vibe. Across the street, sitting above a rocky beach, there’s an Ahu, the long, elevated stone platforms that the moai (carved stone figures) stand on. There are two moai standing there with their backs to the sea, apparently watching the kids play soccer. Nobody pays these monuments any attention. There are a few sunburned tourists wandering around, but nobody taking selfies or making a fuss. Just a small town that feels a bit like small-town Hawaii or towns on more far flung islands scattered across the vast South Pacific.

We’ve only been here a few hours but we like the vibe. My wife describes it as “South America’s version of Hawaii, with mysterious giant rock gods laying around.” And most people are speaking Spanish (it’s part of Chile). There are a few signs of the indigenous Rapa Nui language.

Tomorrow we get up painfully early to go watch the sunrise behind and between a long row of the moai. Then we will go on a full -day tour of the stone heads all over the island.

With a belly full of grilled fresh tuna (they catch a lot of it here) I think we are ready to catch up on sleep. Tomorrow we have a long day and the weather forecast is for high temps in the 90s.

So...what made you guys WANT to go to Valparaiso?

The faded glory. If you look over the internet, you’ll find opinion sharply divided on “Valpo”…lots of people say stay away, because it’s awful, dangerous, run-down, etc. But others insist it’s safe enough if you are careful, and the faded glory is mixed with contemporary charms that make it more than worth it. From afar, I suspected those more nuanced opinions would prove right. For us, they did. We really liked Valpo a lot, and having spent just a couple days there, we want more. We are already looking ahead to another, longer trip to Chile (or maybe two). Our dance card is full thru end of 2027, so we have plenty of time to mull things over.

We’ve been talking about branching out to South America but then
stories like this kinda scare us off.

I think there’s a huge amount of misinformation (sometimes straying into outright hysteria) about travel in Latin America, much of it spread by well-meaning, and otherwise reasonable, experienced travelers. While only a fool would blithely dismiss all safety concerns and jump in headfirst (because there ARE safety issues in some places - same as in Europe and at home), I know from extensive experience that many “safety concerns” are blown way out of proportion. More than a few folks here have sworn off all travel to Mexico, for example. I’ve been traveling to and through Mexico independently since the 1980s and will continue to do so (although I pick and choose where).

We traveled to Colombia last year and heard many similar warnings to stay away. Mostly sincere concerns from well-meaning strangers (and a few friends). I did my research and ultimately decided to carefully dip my toes in. We loved the place (trip report here). I had a hunch we would also love Chile (and we have, warts and all).

After 2 trips to South America (well, 1.75 trips as of today), we have concluded that we have been needlessly missing out on a huge, dynamic, appealing (and usually safe) continent that’s worth visiting. We intend to continue “branching out” to The OTHER America. We still go to Europe (and other places) but South America is now fully on our menu.

We used to visit Colombia in the early 80’s when my sister lived in Bogota. Her husband is Colombian. We were told not to wear any jewelry and not to leave their home without one of them. Things just got worse and they came to live in the US around 1990.
My sister would visit often, him going every year to see his family. The last time my sister visited (2018) she was stopped in the street by 2 ‘policemen’ who quickly robbed her of her jewelry and cash. Needless to say she hasn’t gone back since.
I think some experiences just stick with you and it’s hard to shake them off.

My sister and her husband moved to Panama for about 3 or 4 years. They came back after getting tired of being robbed by policemen. Besides Argentina, you’re better off traveling to Latin America on a tour. If not, you’re asking for it.

I felt the same way about Rio--read the travel warnings and was like "do I really want to do this?" We thought about taking dummy phones, decoy wallets, etc. Alas, we had no trouble in Rio and were feeling relaxed when we got to Ilha Grande, so much so my husband unknowingly dropped his wallet on a dock. We would have had a major hassle, but a man walked up and pointed to the wallet--it's always nice to get a reminder of humanity's goodness.
That said, I'd be careful about attaching your phone to yourself in any way--I read about someone in Spain breaking an arm because her cross-body purse was grabbed from someone on a moped, throwing her to the ground.

So fortunate that you both were physically unharmed during the attempted theft and that you held onto the phone- wow!
I appreciate you sharing your travel impressions and experiences since I'm going to Rapa Nui and Patagonia in early January- but with a tour. Your Spanish is impressive :) !
I am fairly fluent in French but with only a few basic Spanish words in my repertoire, traveling solo and being an older woman a tour seems the "safest" option.
That said, all the same precautions always apply, as far as trying my best not to be perceived as an easy target. But this is the case anywhere, as well as within the US.
I do have my phone in a harness thingee. It clips into my tiny cross body Tom Binh "pocket" at the other end. I also carefully study my route before leaving the hotel or my current location. If I get off track (which for me is often!) I go into a store and reorient myself, to avoid walking along the street looking at my phone.
Safe and fun travels and looking forward to your next installment!

"That said, I'd be careful about attaching your phone to yourself in any way"

If you do it'd be good to get a "break-away" tether for the phone that will release with > set force on it.

Plenty of them around.

https://www.amazon.com/breakaway-phone-lanyard/s?k=breakaway+phone+lanyard

I'd be careful about attaching your phone to yourself in any way--I read about someone in Spain breaking an arm because her cross-body purse was grabbed from someone on a moped, throwing her to the ground.

This happened to a colleague of mine in Barcelona a few years ago.

The foothills of the headlands. From our walk today.

This is a pretty cool , otherworldly place. More when we get home.

David, would love to hear more about Easter Island. Very high on our travel list. Where did you stay?

Tammy, we are on Rapa Nui right now. Will post a full TR with photos after we get home and catch up on deferred tasks (including other TRs). Likely in December.

Short answers: We are staying at Maunga Roa Eco Lodge. A nice, comfy place. Not fancy, not exactly bare-bones, but simple and functional, not terribly expensive, given the location and circumstances - Rapa Nui is quite remote and isolated (and feels like it). Very helpful host, with 3 bungalows. I’d stay here again.

There’s not a lot of options for accommodations on Rapa Nui. One high end (expensive) hotel AFAIK. No chain hotels, no conventional resorts we’ve seen (we’ve driven around about 80% of the island in the past day-and-a-half, I suppose one or two might be hiding but I doubt it), mostly just a handful of B&Bs, mom and pop hotels. No condos, no time-shares, no hucksters, no crowds. Just a single sandy, lovely beach on the island (99% of the coastline is volcanic rock); the one beach is wonderful (we went swimming there today), it is essentially undeveloped and they plan to keep it that way. Seems they have made a conscious choice to limit development of tourism infrastructure (not radically, but mindfully). It’s interesting, unique in my experience, and intriguing (to me). Our guide today is an archeologist and seems very active in local politics (insofar as tourism and development are concerned) - everyone on the island seems to know her. Can share all details after we get home. If you need specifics urgently, send me a PM.

Rapa Nui is unique, interesting and full of surprises. More later, gotta go get some tuna for dinner!