Seems another of life’s pleasures has passed me by and through to the keeper. But my wife has hatched a plan to change all that.
We have friends currently living in Petoskey, Michigan and she wants to visit them. Since disclosing the plan to me, I sometimes find myself waking in the middle of the night in a cold sweat or with my heart at over 200 bpm dreaming about the insightful airport accounts related on these blogs. (200 bpm usually only happens when I am swimming with Whale Sharks at Ningaloo Reef during their twice-yearly migration of the Indian Ocean).
She has devised a plan whereby we fly from Europe into Toronto and are picked up by our friends and then returned for the train journey to Vancouver. Have nightmares over driving in USA. But not Canada.
And am not happy with having to disclose all my personal information on one of those ETSA application forms. Could end up in a cabal members basement in Florida. Canadian law is pretty much the same as mine, so will be at ease in Canada. Also know a colleague in Vancouver (a QC) who I can rely on should I need help. He spent time in chambers (offices) in Ealing, London for a world renown firm often used and spruiked by the Two Ronnies. Martin, Bartin and Far..Far… Far…Fargo. Unless he finds himself promote to the bench.
I have broached, with my wife, the subject of going carryon only when travelling overseas. Appeals to me. Lifetime Oneworld Sapphire gives a little extra carryon allowance in business. Has not gone down well. One cannot show up at Royal Ascot without the latest millinery creation from one the great Milliners of Melbourne. And a different hat is definitely needed for the Aintree racecourse season. When staying at the family pile in Berkshire, could not possibly refuse an invitation to the Lord Lieutenant’s Ball. Social indiscretion of the highest order. Need an outfit for this. (The family Berkshire pile was purchased in the late 70’s when the UK was on its knees and the threepence would have been accepted as a down payment for the whole country.)
Also, the remote possibility of being invited to a BBQ at Fred and Mary’s pile in Copenhagen. Then again, they may have memories of the BBQ at our Tassie pile south of Hobart.
I am not at all adverse to the carryon lifestyle. In fact, suspect I would adapt to it quickly. But am in fear of the prospect of certain important parts of my anatomy dangling from my wife’s earrings. If anyone wishes to place a bet, my best mates are running a book with good odds on the prospect.
Allan, thanks for the heads up. Looks like I need to complete my travel education by flying into an airport on the continental USA and engaging in the Argy Bargy of airport life.