Travel with elderly parents

More important than their age is their physical condition. We've been on tours with people in their 80s who are jaw-droppingly active, and we have friends 20 or 30 years younger who can't walk around the block.

How able are your parents to walk (on cobbled streets,) stand (for long periods of time in museums,) climb (hills or stairs.) What are their (and your) interests?

Fill us in a bit more, and you'll get lots of suggestions!

Every time I see this headline I live in fear that I’ll open it up and they will be asking about someone my age. It has happened before:)

Dodged another bullet.

Activity and energy level are key in your planning, including some rest days.

The biggest recommendation is to travel lightly for all. There's no way you could handle large suitcases for yourself and your parents .
Good luck and safe travels!

Some 40 years ago, my grandmother made her first trip to England at age 80. She went with her daughter (who was probably 55+) at that time, her granddaughter and her GD's husband. I remember the stories from both my grandma's and my aunt's sides. My big takeaway was that Grandma, though healthy and physically active, needed a slower pace than the kiddos. They structured things so that she could have a nap or downtime in the afternoons while they did other things or were in-transit. They had a car. Grams, a tough little woman who had labored hard most of her life on a small dry-land Colorado homestead and had never been out of the country before had a fabulous time. A couple of years later, they even went back again.

I don't know your parents or their physical condition but my advice would be to think hard about how the trip is structured. One day won't be bad but the cumulative traveling will wear them down. They may need longer to get over jet lag or do some mitigating prep before you go. I'd plan for "recovery" days when you have lighter or no activities. They might insist now they can do everything but reality bites. Instead of powering through, afternoon naps might be beneficial. Go slow. Make judicious use taxis and transportation so they don't have to put in as many steps as you might. Think about what kind of tours you take. If they have any hearing impairment, are they going to understand someone speaking with a "foreign" accent? Maybe they'd get more out of downloaded guide like one of Rick Steve's. They may be very happy spending 25 minutes on a bench looking at David while you look at everything else. Unless they are strongly opinionated, you might want to be proactive about guiding food and restaurant choices. If you say, tonight we're having pasta at XXX. They may be happy to be along for the ride. Or maybe you'll have big lunches and a dinner from a local market in the room might hit the spot. They may love to go to a few church services. Beware: they may reach a mental roadblock where they need something familiar and no more old buildings. That's not just for 80 year olds.

I'd pay particular attention to where you stay. To many of us travelers, a room is just a place where you come back at the end of the day and fall asleep. In your case, I'd look for a place that was centrally located, big enough for them to negotiate and has a VIEW. They may need to be in the room more, so why not make it a great experience? In the hotel we stayed at in Florence, we had a view of the church and a little sunny patio with a table. We're not 80 but it gave us a place to relax with a tea or glass of wine and a book. Why not plan for those restorative hours to be in a beautiful place? When I travel with my sister, we stay at places that are roomy and nice. The only time we've ever came close to fighting with each other was the one time we stayed in a budget hotel that was small, dark, dingy with iffy hot water.

My last pieces of advice are to remember that any luggage they take YOU will probably end up carrying. Check their shoes. At their age, they probably don't want to buy new shoes but it could be the best thing you can do. Finally, generally, the older people get the more they snore. Take earplugs.

Have fun! We took the night train from Venice to Paris and it was an interesting experience.

The recommended this year from most of us based in Europe is to simplify matters and stick to one country. Covid isn’t going away, as the current U.K. infection rates show, despite a high vaccination rate, so this advice will probably also apply to 2022.

Have 2 bases for your 10-14 days and I would recommend somewhere smaller where you could park a rental car, rather than large cities. Using a car will be easier than public transport for them.

Rent apartments or villas not hotels so they can pace themselves and take siestas when required. If you have a car and don’t change accommodation as often, you won’t need to travel light. Your wedding attire will fill a bag!

"Every time I see this headline I live in fear that I’ll open it up and they will be asking about someone my age. It has happened before:)"

Carol, worse yet, I fear they will be talking about someone younger than I am.

I will be 80 in a 3 weeks. I would not tolerate any of the restrictions on travel described above. I walk 9 to 10 miles and climb 40 floors a day and work out in a gym 3 days a week. As stated several times above, consider the physical status of the elderly person. They may be in better shape than you.

Bob, it's great that you're so active and in such great shape, but you need to always be aware of companions who are not in such great shape and cannot keep up with you. I exercise most days, but not strenuously and am not seriously overweight but am not into the extreme hiking my husband likes. I am constantly out of breath in airports and when walking on streets, even though I'm usually about 15 yards behind him. I would have to jog to keep up with him and it's not fun. And I am not interested in the work necessary to reach his level of fitness.

Also, make sure they each bring a print out of their medications , the generic names not the name brands. If they have any medical problems, this will be asked for by medical professionals. Pack over the counter drugs they might use, Advil etc. If medical care is needed, non emergency, go to a private hospital if possible.
Take extra pairs of eye glasses if they wear them.
They should take out medical evacuation insurance to transport them home in a MedJet if necessary. A friend did not have this and paid $70,000 for such a flight back to US. We book through Travel Guard.
Travel at a slower pace than you are used to. Longer stays in fewer places will be less stressful for them and you all will have a richer experience. Perhaps rent a villa in Tuscany for your group.
They can stay put if they aren’t up to exploring the area on any given day.

Every time I see this headline I live in fear that I’ll open it up and they will be asking about someone my age. It has happened before:)

Yep. I think, but I'm not sure, that on our last RS tour, Best of Eastern France, Stan and I were the oldest in the group, but I couldn't get up the nerve to ask the guide.

I do know that on a tour a few years earlier, a tour member in her 80s undertook a hike in the Cinque Terre that I would not have attempted. (Well, we had done it years before, when we would have been almost 20 years younger than she.)

Suki, you are right about the medical evacuation insurance. Ever since a RS guide told us what medical evacuation could cost, we've bought the insurance. But $70,000? Yikes! That definitely makes the insurance worth it.

Carol, I opened this thread for that reason. Whew.

I'm not sure a rural villa is necessarily the best choice. What if the parents aren't up to (or just aren't interested in) the day-trip the younger folks want to take? Will they be bored, stuck at a villa? Wouldn't it be better in a situation like that for the group to be staying in an attractive town? I'm an active 70-year-old who travels solo for months at a time. When I think of what my travel may look like 5 or 10 years from now, I picture myself spending weeks at a time in major cities, not chilling out in a rural location. For a short stay a smaller city would be fine.

I made several trips with my late-60s mother. She was mentally sharp but suffered from breathing difficulties (later diagnosed as emphysema) that slowed her down a lot. She'd periodically sit on a bench while I walked around the block in a picturesque part of town. In the nicest possible way she basically refused to walk down significant downhill slopes, commenting that she'd later have to walk back up.

I traveled with my Dad till he passed at age 95 and learned the following:
1) It sounds too simple to make an issue but...........hydration is vital to everyones health, especially the elderly. Please emphasize drinking ample non-caffeinated fluids constantly.
2) Balance is HUGE especially where cobblestones and pavers are the norm. A) investment in lightweight well supported shoes purchased and broken in three months prior to the trip is important. B) My Dad fought like a wildcat against using a walking cane, until I guilted him into realizing what happens to him doubly impacts me. Portable lightweight telescoping walking sticks are an insurance policy to preventing injuries. Purchase and practice using along with the shoes.
3) Locate bathrooms in advance of arriving in towns. Few will say "no" to an elderly persons needs, but having an idea of toilet locations is a valuable investment. NOTE: window shopping inside AC department stores is a wonderful break from the heat and also easy to locate a toilet. BTW: learn their medications and insure adequate supply with copies of script on hand.
4) You are describing 15 - 20 days of total travel which is a lot. Pay close attention to room comfort in terms of functioning AC and quiet locations (interior courtyards are great). Suggest once you work out itinerary posting with specific requests for accommodations. FYI: long ago we switched to apt rental for the convenience of having a kitchen, more room to spread out, separate bedrooms and sometimes a clothes washer. Dad always preferred having the opportunity to fix his own morning coffee and breakfast, plus ability to not always need to eat out was big benefit.
5) What are their hobbies or special interest? My wife is fluent in the international language of "quilt" (not a cheap language), and she started locating quilt/sewing shoppes in our planned areas of travel. The additional level of engagement is wonderful and we gain so much additional knowledge from this engagement. At a minimum knowing this information helps locate some welcome activities at your destinations.
6) Florence is a wonderful experience and shall provide a solid introduction to Italy. Please consider adding one, at most two different destinations to help create a wonderful journey. Keep in mind a journey need not have many destinations in order to be memorable. My suggestion is to leave Italy and visit one city in Germany for 5/7 days and then finish in Paris for remainder of trip. Three countries provides broad breadth of experiences. Also, plan at least one day off per week for rest as you will need it!

I had to laugh at the international language of "quilt" - I'm fluent in the language of "knit", and it tends to be VERY expensive! We're heading to Rome at the end of November, and I already have 1 definite yarn store to visit, with a back up maybe store, if there's time

Every time I see one of these, I stop and think ‘should I baby my 80 year old H or leave him home alone all the time?’ It drives me nuts. Seniors are adults. Let them work out their own schedule and what they want to see or do. Groups/families should not have to have constant togetherness or one boss. What do they think about what they want to do and schedule?Also, my husband can lift more than I can.

That being said, hydration is a good idea for all of us. Purchase something like lifestraw so they don’t have to drink bad tasting water. I do agree with a walking stick or trekking poles to catch oneself should one start to trip.

India’s, This sounds like a wonderful family memory.

I am glad that my 85 year old mother is very self aware of her physical limitations and before going anywhere she will ask "is there a lot of walking, stairs, how long will we be out"?. I really want to travel with her but I know it will be much slower pace, possible accommodations for her (Finding the elevator, using ramps, holding her hand as she goes down steps). I would consider it similar to when I would take my children on vacation, it was ALL about them their interest, scheduling around naps, and not mine. I would really want to spoil my mom and make sure she was comfortable. I do plan to take her to New York soon.

Hi ldias, and welcome to the forums!
First suggestion? Never refer to them as "elderly" in their presence! That can make a person downright ornery. 😊

I'm in the camp of wishing we had more information so as to provide the most appropriate responses. Yes, knowing just how mobile they are (balance, stamina, joint comfort) is essential, along with sorts of things they are interested in doing/seeing. Shoot, if they can use the net, you might have THEM sign onto this site so they can ask questions and more closely involve themselves in the plan? It might actually be easier for you not to have to play the what/where/how guessing game all by yourself. What can THEY tell you/us about what THEY want? Some of that might be unreasonable, given what we can learn about them, but the onus would be off you to kindly suggest more workable alternatives. If they do sign on, delete this thread so they don't know they were being discussed, eh? 😉

Additionally, gift them a guide book. Soon. June is closer than you think. :O)

I'm also in the camp of choosing cities and villages over countryside villas. Being able to sightsee short distances from one's doorstep is nice - especially if you want to take an afternoon break - and makes it easier for the 4 of you to split up should you not need to want to sightsee together all the time. Accommodations is also an area where mobility is important, as a fair amount of hotels/apartments do not have elevators. Air conditioning? That's another nice thing to have, as summers can be very warm and windows often do not have screens (says the woman who was eaten alive by bloodthirsty mozzies during the night in Florence).

This:
"...cumulative traveling will wear them down."

Yep, when doing something every day, for days at a time, that you're not used to doing, it's more wearing. Frequent physical city/village/accommodations moves can also be wearing; it can be easier to settle into one spot for longer periods of time and sightsee/day trip from there versus packing up, moving to the next spot, finding the hotel, getting checked in, getting acclimated to a new location... That brings me to another topic: flexibility. How quickly/easily do they adapt to change?

I just travelled to Rome, CT, Florence and Venice with my mother who is 82. She is very mobile and had no issues with cobblestones, stairs, and/or just generally wandering through the sites and museums.

Obviously it all depends on the individuals travelling but here are my thoughts:
- Pack light. Doing laundry isn't that expensive. We went for 10 days and we all used carry on luggage.

- Do as much of the paperwork for them and handle the paperwork along the way (Covid test results, entry forms, etc.).
- Get them each a passport holder that also has a window for their CDC cards. You have to present these together frequently so keep them together with easy access. (My mother used a small purse that only contained these two items and struggled with finding it and extracting the documents every time).

Lastly, if possible, act as their tour guide. Let them know what the daily plan is. It was sometimes overwhelming for my mom to remember whether it was a travel day, what we were going to see, etc. I just kept checking with her and rolled with the questions.

Have fun!!

That's wonderful to take a trip with your parents!
You have received excellent advice here.

However, no one has mentioned the heat that might be the case in Italy in June.
Florence is in a "bowl" between hills, and really holds the heat.
I was there once in June, and actually could not leave the apartment between about 9 am and 6pm due to the heat and very high humidity...it was unbearable.
Wherever you choose to stay MUST have air conditioning in all the rooms, especially bedrooms.
You may have a couple of ill people on your hands otherwise.
The other thing is to have copies of all their ID, passports, vaccine status, travel insurance, medication prescriptions; and keep their copies with you as well as them having copies.
Leave copies at home with someone too.
I do that with my friend that I travel with, as she tends to lose things , and we are much younger than your parents!
There are plenty of English speaking doctors in Italy; I always find out where they are close to where I'm staying, and keep a note of them with me.
Never had to use one, but I did pass the list on to a family I met while waiting for my train in Naples...the mother was feeling quite ill and going to Florence, so I gave her the list of doctors there.
Also, I always have a list of Canadian Embassies and Consuls with me, just in case ....are you in Canada? I see your name has a " .ca" after it.
You can't be over-prepared!

Wonderful and practical intel provided by posters.

My comments are base on the concept of health and safety first.

As noted their mobility will be key. You need to keep in mind that nearly all of Italy’s towns, cities and villages have cobblestones. Good comfortable shoes a must and if any balance issues, walking poles or canes would be vital.

Secondly, June is a Summer month. There will crowds and heat. Patience, pre booking dinners and hydration will be helpful.

Each of you should pack lightly. It can be done. Depending personal appearance attire for the females you’ll need to pack scarves, skirts, light dresses, mid arm blouses and capris. Guys nice cargo shorts, maybe a pair of travel slacks and lightweight short sleeve shirts.

Trains in Italy are comfortable. 2nd class is fine. This is a stellar website to use for intel.
https://www.seat61.com/train-travel-in-italy.htm#travel-tips

I’d fly from the US to Rome, 3-4 nights there.

In Italy I’d use trains but know they’ll have step up and down from some of trains. Thus the concept of packing light and being certain their mobility will allow them to do this safely. From Rome train to Florence, 3-5 nights there with day trips to Sienna. Regional train to Venice 3 nights there. Train to Milan at least 1 night there ( pre book seeing the Last Supper ) then fly non stop from Milan to Paris. 4-5 nights Paris with a day trip to the D Day Beaches. https://insidr.co/visit-d-day-beaches/

Book multi city airfare. Watch Skyscanner website for airfare costs. Fly Into Rome and out of Paris.

Lastly, have a good sit down with your parents to go over their “must see” list. Have them help create an itinerary that is comfortable for ALL of you.

Thanks to all of you for the quick and informative replies. They are in relatively good shape but not the athletic type. Probably can walk a few miles a day with breaks in between. The cobblestones will be a challenge but they say they are up for it and I think they can do it.

They are doing the research too and will definitely contribute to the itinerary. They were leaning towards a hotel but I am thinking an apartment, with an elevator, would be best so they do have a comfortable and roomy place to rest.

I think they will prefer taxis or a hired driver but interested in hearing about the bus too. Any recommendations on what neighborhood to stay in? Ideally not too touristy but not too far away turn some of the key landmarks.

Also recommendations on one other place to stay in Italy outside of Florence would be greatly appreciated. Hope this information is helpful to you all look forward to more responses.

Ciao!

We stay at Villa Trasimeno in Umbria. The owner is a chef and can provide sightseeing to nearby towns (such as Assisi, Orvieto, Montefalco, Siena).

www.villatrasimeno.com

Do NOT rent a car in Florence!

It would be insane to do so.

Use of public transport, or their own two feet will suffice. Lots of seating outside cafes and restaurants but you'll have to order food and drink. I noticed many benches as well placed around the city as well.

Important things to remember will be the crowds and to stay hydrated. As already suggested to pre book places they want to visit. Will cut down on standing in lines.

Florence is a compact city. Use Google maps street view option to see what I mean.

Look at videos of Florence on line as well.

As far as suggestions where to stay use the search engine on this Forum.

If hotel is in a central location in Florence where they can go back and rest if needed, Florence should be very doable for them.

Was with my at the time 84 years old mom in Rome back in 2012. She was mobile and could do all the walking. What she needed help with was walking on the cobblestones; somebody had to hold her arm for support in case she lost her balance due to their unevenness.

Age is just a number. Everyone is different. Our tour group to the Adriatic included a couple in their early 80’s and they were as energetic, fun and interesting as those of us who were 15 years younger. We loved being with them. We also met a couple in their 80’s at the top of the Jungfrau who were bouncing around like a couple of young kangaroos. They were our heroes and role models. The key for all of us who are younger is to push ourselves to walk, walk, walk and stay as fit and healthy as possible so that we can keep on traveling and make the best of the years we have left.

Good advice from the others.
My input would be that to save some walking consider using the local bus system to get around - we found it to be very handy while we were there. With Google Maps on your smart phone you can expand the scale until the bus stops themselves are displayed, and when clicked the map lays out the whole route. It's a very helpful app.
Buy bus tickets for about 1.25 Euros apiece at any local news shop, tobacconist, or similar establishment - will save money versus just paying the driver in person upon boarding (2 Euros). Don't forget to validate the tickets in the machine on the bus - they're good for 90 minutes after validation as I recall.
It's a little quieter on the Oltrarno side of the river, and using the bus makes it a snap to get around town even from outlying parts of the city.
Concur about booking a place with A/C ... when we were there in June '19 it was 95 deg. every day. Might want to get an early start to beat the worst of the heat, then retire to your accommodation for an afternoon siesta at midday - worked well for us.

A lot of Florence is pedestrianized so cars are not a great way to sightsee, IMHO. I definitely would NOT try to drive it yourself, and might suggest a golf cart or similar tour? I haven't done one of these myself but have seen lots of positive reviews from people who've done them in Rome, and often for the same reason you have: sightseeing for family members with mobility limitations. Here's a company that handles Florence:

https://www.ecotoursitaly.com/en-index.php

Note that they have access to otherwise restricted traffic zones (ZTLs) so can go places some cars can't. I think the 4 of you could see better out of one of these carts, and could go more places. Besides, they look like a LOT more fun than a car or bus, although the buses will be fine for days you'll sightseeing independently.

Sooo, you're looking for another place to go? Shoot, if the wedding is in Florence, I think you could stay longer in the city, as the festivities will take up some of your time, and there are umpty day trips you can do from that one. You could also spend a couple of days in Orvieto (a hilltop town but fairly flat on top of that hill) and then head to Rome for the remainder of your trip and to fly home.

Thanks for the pointers! I will be sure to check out the golf carts

My 87 and 88 year old parents were just here in Italy visiting me for five weeks. They are very fit - they walk and lift light weights daily, do balance exercises, eat extremely healthily. Both can get up out of chairs without pushing on the arms. However, they always travel with their Nordic walking poles. They take them everywhere and use them without embarrassment, especially on trail hikes and cobblestones. It’s good upper body exercise as well as balance support. You might consider some hiking poles in lieu of something that looks more medical.

As I was laid up with a broken ankle during their visit (hmm-more balance exercises for me,) they did all the daily shopping on foot with my rolling shopping cart. Embarrassing at my age to have your parents come take care of you, but brilliant that they are able to do so.

In case your parents are more like me (77-year-old couch potato) rather than the SuperSeniors who hike and run marathons :
•Learn to quickly scan an area for benches and other seating like fountain ledges -- nice to know there is a nearby seat. Sidewalk cafes work, too.
•Camping stores like REI carry neck scarves that you can soak in water and wear for hours of cooling.
•Consider reserving a wheelchair (or two) for transiting the home airport at the end of the trip -- free service, just tip the attendants. After a transatlantic flight, Customs/Immigration lines can be long, so doing them seated makes a big difference.

It's been so long since you've been to Italy (Europe?), I recommend that your parents and you explore and internalize all sections of Rick Steves Travel Tips: https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips

Also go to the Explore Europe section on Italy where you can dig deeper into the specific places y'all want to go: https://www.ricksteves.com/europe/italy

I'm another fan of apartments, packing light (coordinated garments for a week, launder as needed), sensible shoes (flat, supportive, lace up ankle booties), compression socks (for the flights and to aid in stamina) and hiking poles with rubber tips for balance and stability (foldable and packable).

I'll be 76 on my trip next summer. I travel solo. I can't stress enough that each of you should be able to manage your luggage on your own. That means having very light weight bags that each person can roll, lift or carry with no help from anyone else. Anything heavier than that will decrease your mobility dramatically.

The RS forums on shoes
(https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/best-travel-shoes) and packing
(https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/packing) as well as the Travel Tips section on packing have great advice on how to keep clothing to a minimum. Fortunately, you'll be going when it's warm in Italy so no one will need heavy garments.

It will be a steep learning curve, but you all have time to climb it and get to the other side.

Thanks to everyone for all the insight. I will do some more research and may follow up with questions.

You have received some great suggestions. I would emphasize packing light, with a limit of one carry-on suitcase apiece. And, to make it easier to get that luggage up to the room and down again, not to mention getting up and down to your rooms during your stay, be certain to book accommodations with an elevator. Many European lodgings are at least one floor above street level, reserving street levels for commercial purposes. Even the most fit traveler will welcome an elevator ride at the end of a busy day.

Taxis may the way to get around vs. public transportation. I would also buy museum tickets before leaving home. Before COVID, you needed to reserve tickets for the Uffizi Gallery in Florence two months out. Expect the tour to take two hours.
You also want to buy tickets for Accademia (David) which won’t take long to see. I would visit both museums on different days first thing in the morning because you need energy for museums.
You may want to skip the Louvre in Paris because it’s jammed pack with visitors. Furthermore, you have to be tall to appreciate the art, otherwise, you see the back of people’s heads. I would visit Musee Orsay though but once again, buy the tickets online before leaving home.
I would not take day trips because it’s most affordable via public transportation.

I just want to emphasize taxis in places like Florence and Paris. They can be great if someone is tired, lost, or just frustrated and needs a breather. For instance, if some in the group want to stay at the museum and others are just ready to quit, they can just take a taxi back to the hotel. This goes double if anyone in your group is not used to or not comfortable with public transportation.

Be aware that in France and Italy, if you call a taxi, the driver starts the meter immediately, so your cab arrives with the meter running; this is legitimate. You can go to a taxi stand to avoid this charge. It can be hard to hail cabs in the street, but any museum, restaurant, etc. can call one (or point you to a cab stand if nearby). Everyone in the traveling party should have the address of your hotel or apartment written out. This way, you can show it to the driver, and if you're calling for a cab, they will want to know where you're headed.

As for the question of hotel vs. apartment, they each have pros and cons. Some cons of an apartment to consider are that you don't have a desk staff to answer questions, call taxis, etc, and that very very few apartments are air conditioned. Even in hotels, air conditioning is not nearly as strong in many European hotels as it is in the US. Read reviews to make sure it's up to the challenge of making US travelers feel comfortable.

Here's an article from 2017 about show an older person around Paris. Many of the tips have already been mentioned, but you might find it useful:

https://www.thelocal.fr/20170811/top-ten-tips-on-showing-an-elderly-relative-around-paris/

if some in the group wants to stay at the museum and others are just ready to quit, they can take a taxi back to the hotel.

Or grab a seat at the museum cafe and order a glass of wine, snack or both.

Another quite small but important detail to follow on with the taxi advice.
Every person should have the address on their person of where you are staying at that present moment, in case someone gets lost or separated from the group.
Then that "lost" person can return to base safely.
Of courre, if that is an apartment, be sure that everyone has their own key.
Another plan is if you are taking subways, trains, Metro in Paris etc, have a plan in place as to what to do if you get separated there, ie: the doors close and the train leaves with one person left behind.
Perhaps make it a definite plan for everyone to get off at the next stop and wait there.

OP: I can't see if you have told us how healthy your parents are , and if they are fit and well and able to do a busy trip?
I know they are 80 years old.

Thank you all for the continued input. Parents are in good health. They walk a couple of miles a day a few times a week but are not trekkers. The trip is definitely motivation for them to up their walking and strength.

morning Idias.ca
lots of info here for you.
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