Taking my mother to Italy for her first time to celebrate her 80th birthday. Itinerary suggestions!

I recommend a few days at the beginning to get jet lag. Also, I wouldn’t book up every day. Soe f my mist enjoyable days in Italy have involved mainly sitting at outdoor cafes and people watching.

Meredith, what a wonderful trip you will have together! It’s a time to treasure!

Have you reserved any of the tours already? It sounded like it, but then you mentioned skipping Florence. If I can jiggle your itinerary a little…

Since she’s 80, I would stay your first two nights in Rome. Let her get over jet lag without being taken so soon to Venice. It feels great to wake up that first morning, relax and know you don’t need to pack & go! Also, switch to a nicer location in Rome away from the Roma Termini station area.

After your two nights in Rome, take the train to Venice. I hope she absolutely loves it - such a special place!

I would keep Florence and then finish with three remaining nights in Rome. A definite “yes” to just going to Ostia Antica. Instead of going to the Vatican, my daughter & I opted to just go inside every church as we were walking around Rome. (I had been at the Vatican previously. ) They are absolutely gorgeous, and there’s not the crazy amount of people, so we could really enjoy & see them. Might be something to consider for your mom.

Meredith,

Here’s a couple of previous posts that might be helpful. The first one was when I asked the forum for advice when planning to do a mother/daughter trip. Not the locations, but the dynamics. The second one was our trip where we went to the locations you’re planning.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/general-europe/advice-for-mother-traveling-with-daughter

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/mother-adult-daughter-italy-trip-aug-sept-2022

2nd morning: Colosseum floor, Forum, Palatine skip the line tour

If you're concerned over uneven surfaces encountered during the Colosseum underground tour, note that the Forum has dirt paths, many of which have obstacles - and when I was there on Nov. 3, significant puddles in places. In addition, it is a hike up to the Palatine hill. Overall, it's a lot of walking, especially when you factor getting too/from the Colosseum to begin with. A stroll on the sidewalk along the Imperial Forums either before or after the Colosseum might fill the bill in terms of ruins. There is also a great view of the Forum from the rear of Piazza del Campidoglio, adjoining the Capitoline Museums.

When we were there, the line into the Forum for organized tours was massive, much longer than that for those of us with standard Colosseum 24 hour tickets.

I’d think very carefully about the Vatican, by which I assume you mean the Museum. I did it on an RS tour when I was 72 and found it was almost too much for me, hot crowded and really unable to see much. Now 8 years later I shudder at the thought of that Museum. I really wanted to see the Sistine Chapel but by the time we got there it was jammed and noisy, and we had skipped the line! There are other tours, a breakfast at the Vatican, or Pristine Sistine that have good reviews on the Forum and are a lot less crowded. I like the idea of Ostia Antica instead. I have been there twice and would go again. It is flat for walking, an easy 10 minute walk from the Ostia Antica train station.

I did a food tour of Testeccio some years ago. Interesting and great food but quite a lot of walking though mostly flat but some streets had uneven sidewalks. Be aware that Trastevere has a lot of cobbled streets and is very crowded. Also has my favourite church in Rome, Sta Maria in Trastevere. An early Church with stunning mosaics, it’s worth finding out the times when the mosaics will be lit but anytime is a good time to visit this lovely church.

Speaking as an 80 year old, in relatively good health, i do urge you not to try and fill every day. Your idea of one tour a day is good but be prepared for her to say that she would prefer a day with nothing planned, or a morning when she would like a lie in. Someone mentioned the delight of Italy - sitting in a cafe and watching the world go by. You know, one of my best memories is one day in Venice when I had walked through the streets from my hotel near the Casino to San Marco. It was lunchtime, it was hot and rather humid and I decided to heck with it and I had a long and rather expensive lunch at Cafe Florian. For two hours I sat, relaxed, enjoyed the music and enjoyed, as Rick always says, the fine art of doing nothing!

A nice walk with lots of interest is through the Jewish Ghetto, everything from Roman ruins to the Turtle Fountain with its turtles carved by Bernini. Lots for places for food or drinks and a chance to sit.

She had mentioned/wished to see Pompeii; of course not knowing how long of a day that would be for her, so I'm wondering if going out to Ostia Antica might scratch that itch for her.

Unless you totally rearrange your trip, going to Pompeii is not feasible. Doing it as a day trip from Rome would be unnecessarily arduous. Trying to work in an overnight there (Naples/Sorrento) would make for an extra move and really make the trip rushed.

If the trip is late May it could be warmer than ideal and Pompeii has virtually no shade. Ostia Antica is much closer, smaller, but still very interesting and has shady areas.

I like your general outline. Try to alternate big event days with low key days.

Pompeii has possibly the world's largest cobblestones; the streets are extremely difficult to walk on. There are some sidewalks, but they are mostly a great deal higher than the street, so hopping up and down (to get around other people, or when you come to a cross street) is uncomfortable if you're short and/or a bit unsteady on your feet.

The Vatican has said it is making significant changes in ticketing procedures at the Vatican Museums in January. It's possible there will be no early-entry tours in the future. I don't think we know yet what the options will be. May is a very busy time in Rome, so the museums will be crowded beyond belief at the time of your visit. If you can bear to skip the Vatican Museums, I think you should do so. The Borghese Gallery is a much more pleasant environment for seeing art, and Rome has many gorgeous churches. In addition to Santa Maria in Trastevere, I especially liked Santa Cecilia in Trastevere (with an unbelievably decorated crypt--stairs probably required) and two small, very old churches with ancient mosaics, Santa Prassede and Santa Pudenziana. The last two are not too far southwest of Termini Station. Small churches may not be open all day long. As of last winter, Santa Pudenziana was open Mon-Sat 9 - 11:30 AM. It's smart to have some 1-euro coins with you to feed the light boxes illuminating mosaics and frescoes.

Since your flights can't be changed, consider this. Upon arrival in Rome, head straight to Venice. Not only is it a place she longs to see, it's a great place to get over jet lag and acclimate to Italy. Going straight there will eliminate time lost moving from one place to another later on. After that, go to Florence and then Rome, since you'll want to be in Rome the night before the flight home. It might be that skipping Florence will work for you as Venice and Rome have more than enough to keep you busy the whole time. The most important thing, though, is doing what mom wants to do.

Are you flying in Coach? LA to Europe is a long, uncomfortable, exhausting journey and I think your plan to just get to your hotel near Termini is a good idea, but I would stay and do the Rome portion first, and then when you both are feeling rested, go to Venice, and then Florence, and back to Rome for your flight home.

I'm taking my in-laws in their late 70s in a few months (Rome 5 nights, Florence 6 nights, and Milan for a night). While both of them are perfectly capable of walking 2-3 miles/day, they decided to skip the heavy-mileage exhibits like Vatican Museum, the Colosseum and Forum. On our trip earlier this year, we did one major attraction in the morning and visited a free church in the afternoon with most of the fountains and piazzas visited either walking to or from dinner or gelato. We never tried to just make Trevi or the Spanish Steps the highlight. I have serious reservations about the Vatican Museum/St. Peter's tour. Our guide told us we'd be walking 7km through the museums/basilica that day, and between walking from our hotel to the train station, there to our rendezvous point, from there to the museum entrance itself and then getting out of the place, we were toast. I was dying of thirst and so hungry I could eat my hand. Those tours meet at 7 am, and the meager espresso and pastry I had at the only coffee shop open around 6 am wasn't cutting it come 12pm.

Things we liked better in Rome:
Galleria Borghese (and its gardens), St. John of Lateran, St. Maria Maggiore, St. Paul outside the Wall, Trastevere

Florence is so worthwhile. We enjoyed the food and art immensely. Walk the Arno, cross the bridges, see Orsanmichele from the outside while listening to a Rocky Ruggiero podcast, ascend the hill to San Miniato to watch the sunset, pop into the Bargello, and hang out in a piazza to people watch. Don't miss the Uffizi if you love art.

I would skip Pompeii.