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Restaurant etiquette

What is the etiquette pertaining to the check? We are in Italy and it seems like they don't bring the check until you ask. We don't want to seem rude by asking but it seems like that is the only way we get the check.

Posted by
1507 posts

There is nothing rude in asking the check. The real rudeness would be exiting without paying the check :-)

Posted by
2767 posts

Yes, just ask. Rude would be to get mad that they aren't bringing it. Ask and be a little patient - sometimes it takes awhile.

Posted by
32517 posts

Or just get up when you have said you are finished and pay the (usually) man by the door near the cash - depending on the fineness of the restaurant. I don't go to fine (read very expensive) restaurants.

Have a look at this recent (last couple of weeks) thread in this very same Italy Forum and see how a similar question was answered then....

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/italy/getting-the-check-in-italian-restaurants

Posted by
8377 posts

They think it is rude to bring you the check until you signal that you are ready for it. One of those cultural differences. Here in the US they want you to pay and get out as soon as possible so they can get another tipping customer at the table.

Posted by
23177 posts

Remember your are in Italy and American culture, procedures, don't necessarily apply. With Italian (most of Europe) restaurant culture it is consider VERY rude to bring a check to the table unless requested. If the check is presented before you request it, it a signal that they want you to leave. Your are done, finished, time to go. Just one of the many cultures differences that I hope you are adjusting to with understanding.

Posted by
7737 posts

There's the universal "scribble on my hand with my imaginary pen" symbol for the check as well. But it's very true that in most restaurants in Italy, they aren't going to bring you the check until you ask for it. That said, I'm also one of those people who gets up and pays at the register when I'm ready to go.

Posted by
15041 posts

This has been discussed also recently in another post.

Many Italians consider it very bad service to bring the check to the table before the client specifically asks for it. I remember very heated arguments between Italian customers (including a former boss of mine at a company dinner) and the restaurateur who gave the impression of wanting to "rush" customers.

So, unless the waiting staff is aware of the American practice of bringing the check even before you start your meal, they won't bring it to you.

When you signal you are ready (just make a gesture mimicking someone writing on a piece of paper) they will bring it to you, but not always in a very expeditious fashion, as bringing the check is not necessarily the waiter's priority. In many restaurants and trattorie, especially the non fancy ones, Italians don't ask for checks. They simply get up and pay at the cash register on the way out. Or sometimes, one person in the party, goes to the cash register to get the check and comes back to the table (basically it's a 'do it yourself' thing in many cases).

Consider that since waiters in Italy are, by national bargaining contract, paid much more than minimum wage (they don't get tips there), most restaurants are under staffed compared to restaurants in America. I have friends who own restaurants in Italy and when they visit the US they are amazed at how many waiters, bus boys, and 'hosts' are employed in American restaurants. If you are a waiter in Italy, you must serve many more than the typical 4 tables served by a waiter in America (sometimes more than twice as many). And the figure of the 'bus boy' does not exist (the waiter does everything). So you understand why service in Italy might be slower. Of course there are also much more expensive restaurants in Italy that can afford a larger staff.

Posted by
295 posts

One great thing about eating in Europe is that they do not rush you. Once you sit down you have the table for the rest of the night if you would like. Therefore they will not bring you the bill while you are still eating or even when you are done eating. You will always need to ask. They will wait for you to signal that you want the bill.

Posted by
9403 posts

I don't understand why anyone would think asking for the check is rude. That's how it's done here too.

However, we've been noticing lately that more and more the check is put on our table before we've even finished dessert. Now that's rude.