Your advice: what if my 11-year-old and I get separated?

If you are going to travel on municipal subways, agree that if someone is left behind in a station, the rider will get out at the next station and wait for the tardy partner to catch up on the next train.
The child should carry the business card of your hotel; I suppose you should too.

This is stuff you can go over with him before hand:
1.On the train if you get off first and he gets stuck tell him before hand to get off and wait at the next stop.
2.If it is the other way around he should wait on the platform for you to ride back.
3. Learn how to say " I am lost Do you speak English " etc. in the local language
4.Carry card with lodging address.

GPS tracking might be an option. I suppose you could find some device that could be sewn into his clothing, but at worst you could get him a cheap smart phone (they pretty much all include GPS which works without any internet connection). There are apps that let you track another phone I think, though the phone you are doing the tracking on must have internet - maybe both phones would. Of course, he could lose the phone...

A whistle is a great idea!

I would add, in adition to carrying a business card of hotel that he also has a 20 euro bill tucked away for a taxi just in case you can’t find each other.

Teaching him “I’m lost” in the local language is a good idea, but I’d also write it on a piece of paper to keep in his pocket.

My son started travelling in Europe with me when he was 11 and I was amazed by how well he adapted... 11 yr olds are more mature and intelligent than sometimes given credit. 😊

When we travel with our grandchildren we travel with a different mindset than our normal, meandering, go for the moment type of city walking. We ask the girls ahead of time to make eye contact with us, to cross streets and ride transportation directly by our side, don't wander off in attractions or stores, etc. To that end, we forgo looking around ourselves, and keep our eyes on them at all times in very crowded situations. It is all about keeping them safe. I find it a bit more stressful but super rewarding to experience the joys of Europe with them.

Others have mentioned having a specific plan for missed transportion and a card with the hotel's address. I would also include having an amount of local currency for your godson to have in case he is really lost and needs to take a taxi to the hotel.

The app that you can see where anyone in your group is called Life360... but you must have data on if you will see where the other phone is located.
I agree... have a card or know exactly the address of hotel.

You can always set a spot to reconnect if you get separated. In a market, start in the beginning a discussion of if we get separated... meet back at the fountain at a certain time. My husband and I do this often... Please don't ask about the time we were separated at Versailles.... All I can say is sometimes begging the security staff and acting frantic will help.
I also think a nice bright color shirt or hat is easiest to pick out in a crowded area.

Have you traveled with him domestically? What do you do to not get separated?

If you have not traveled with him before , maybe a local excursion to see how well he stays with you or find out now if he likes to wander off and not obey the 'stay with me' instruction.

How fun and how lucky for him! Our rule of thumb when traveling is that you stay in the spot you last saw each other. We took our 11 year old on a 5 week adventure all over Europe. When getting on and off public transportation I generally kept one hand on him somehow - on his back pack, shoulder etc. The only time we had a problem was at Mont. St. Michel. right after arriving he asked his dad if he could go explore....well - my husband said sure before I realized it. We then saw the signs warning about quicksand and how quickly the tide can come in. We both raced frantically each going a different direction around the mont. It's funny now, but wasn't then:). I believe I did have him always carry a business card from the hotel. He's now 23 and has been to Europe many times, but that was his favorite trip!

This is our family's plan of action. If we are out and about in public/crowded places and you realize you don't see your family, stop and stay where you are. Don't look for us. We will retrace our steps and find you.

Some train doors are absolutely unforgiving. I hold my kids hands and we step onto and off the train together side by side.--Before this I had the train door close right in my face and was separated from my husband and kids.

Kids if you're on the train and it pulls away get off at the next stop and back up against the wall away from the tracks. Stay there, we will come and get you.

If mommy and daddy are on the train and it pulls away, back up against the wall or center of platform, and stay there. Well come back and get you.

Everyday I put a hotel business card in my kids' pocket with our cell phone & email addresses on the back.

For airbnb I type up slips of paper with the airbnb address, hosts contact information (great since they speak the local language & can get in touch with us immediately) and our cell numbers and email.

Every morning before you leave the hotel, take a picture of him.

The whistle might not be the best idea - attracts too much attention and alerts those up to no good there might be a problem.

My suggestions after traveling with our kids to Europe starting at age 8:

Business card with name and address of hotel for each of you that you carry with you every day.
If using subways, if we got separated, the instructions were to wait at the next stop for everyone to catch up.
When visiting museums, etc., etc. we'd always pick a spot - the main entrance, typically and if we got separated, to head there to re group.
Since we always rented an apartment (and thus returning there would not be helpful without keys) we established a rendezvous point each day if we became separated while out and about. Typically we'd choose a spot we'd already been to - either a well known public square (like Trafalgar in London), museum or a metro stop. Typically these areas always have people and sometimes a local police presence and you can generally always get directions from the staff at an hotel, shop, cafe or restaurant.

Each person carried their own map along with whatever the equivalent of $20 was in the local currency to be used to get a subway ticket (if there is a subway) or a taxi to the rendezvous point.
Cell phones for you both with numbers programmed in (especially if using a local simcard). No, it isn't exactly cheap, but it might be money well spent for piece of mind if the above strategy isn't appealing.

Have him practice yelling. We all get hesitant sometimes to yell in public. Deep breath and YELL! Give him that permission. Make it a game and do it in the car or at home.

I was on a bus in Paris and saw that a little boy had just gotten on, but his mother with baby in stroller was still at the curb while the bus was pulling away. They were both panicky. I just yelled HEY STOP! and the driver did. I hollered in English because that's what came out. Of course, a train couldn't stop, but a bus can.

Before the first trip with my girls, we went over the pickpocket and scammer stuff. We had a code phrase that any of us could use if we felt uncomfortable or in danger. "Time to walk" meant we'd all leave at once, no questions or protests. Later you can discuss the situation you were in.

The advice you've received about what to do when separated on public transit, carrying the hotel's business card, and even getting a cheap phone for him with your number in speed dial is a great idea.

But you might also have a plan if you can't connect and you are out and about in public.

This happened at my hotel in London last summer. A 12 year old boy got separated from his parents during the changing of the guard. They looked for him and couldn't find him. His instructions were to get back to their hotel. He had an Oyster Card for the tube but was told to take a cab if he wasn't sure about getting the tube.

The parents called the hotel, told them the problem, left their cell phone numbers and asked that if he does arrive to call them. If there was a cab fare to pay it and they would reimburse the hotel. Sure enough, the kid shows up--he took the tube--and the hotel called the parents telling them he was safe.

So, another option would be to have the hotel write on the back of their business card in the local language...."I am lost and have been separated from my parents. I am staying at this hotel." Show it to a police officer and they will make arrangements to get you two connected again..

A whistle on another hand could cause problems as in many cases someone blowing a whistle means an emergency

What Mona said. I can't remember if it was in Italy, the UK or the States, but sometime in the past 2 years I observed a mother get separated from her daughter on an airport underground shuttle train.

The daughter was about 9, dawdling and fooling around with a phone, the mother was rushing, neither had luggage with them. The mom ran and jumped on the car, the daughter didn't seem to notice until the doors shut and we were on the way without her. Neither seemed to understand the local language or the signs. The mom went nuts. My stop was the next one. I don't know if she got off there or not.

It was a real eye-opener. Both the mother and the daughter were so focused on what they were doing separately, you'd never guess they were together.

My lessons learned regardless of age:

Pay attention.

Stay with your traveling companions.

There's no need to rush.

There'll be another shuttle/train/bus/metro by in a few minutes.

Have a plan for if you get separated.

One final thing from personal experience. I'm 72 years old. From the time I could talk, my parents made sure I memorized my name, their names, our address and our phone number. When I tell this story, most people give me blank stares, but something similar is an option -- especially if your godson is prone to losing things.

Brightly colored shirts and/or hats. While you may not want to wear electric pink or lime green, it will be easier to spot in a crowd.

11 is such a weird age. Some 11 year olds would be perfectly fine taking thee 20euros you gave them and hopping in a cab to meet you at the hotel (having a hotel business card or address written down to show the driver). Others would immediately start crying and be clueless. I know because my 11 year old is both of these things, depending on the moment.

Make sure he has the hotels business card and your cell phone number. If you buy a local phone plan all the better (a clerk at an info desk or store would be willing to call you at a local number if the child asks, but maybe not at a US number). If he can call you can easily find where he is and go get him. If he has a phone that's helpful but 11 is pretty young. My son doesn't have one but some peers do.

In especially crowded places arrange a meeting place beforehand. "If we get separated in this market, meet at that big fountain over there, here it is on your map".
The rest of the time - The usual plan of having him stay where he was when he noticed you were gone is good. If he waits 10 minutes it's likely you will notice and retrace your steps to get him. After 10 minutes, then he can start thinking about calling you.

On trains, pay attention and let him get off before you. Neither of you should rush for closing doors - be aware beforehand and get off when the doors open so as to avoid the door closing between you.

Otherwise it's general awareness. Most 11 year olds aren't going to "wander off" like 3 year olds, but they can easily get interested in something, stop to look at it, and if you don't notice and keep walking, then you are separated.

All of the above is great advice. I'm just going to add one thing I recently learned, which applies to getting separated at home and overseas. If you are separated, tell your child to find a mother with kids. A lot of times we tell our kids to look for a police officer, but those aren't usually just wandering around. My kids are quite a bit younger than yours, so maybe this advice doesn't hold for an 11-year-old. But if my kids are separated from me, there's no one I'd trust more to stay with them than a fellow mother. (But stress that they should go to someone who has kids with them, not just a single woman).

A second thought: Make it an event. Inform the 11-year-old that travel in crowds is not play; no phone, no games; no dawdling; be grown up. Mean it. Then, approaching the first subway or bus, have this apprentice adult lead the way, find the turnstile, pay, sort out where to stand on the platform. Like a game, only for real. It doesn't have to be a time for fear; instead, build confidence.

We lost our son once in the London Tube when he was about 12...we hopped onto the tube, the doors closed, we turned around, and there he was standing on the other side of them. We pulled away and he was still standing there!! Talk about panic!
We had talked about what to do if this happened. He was to stand right there and wait for us!! We had plans for everything...what to do if you get lost in a crowd, what to do if you can't find us, etc. Basically his instructions were to stay put and wait and try to stand on a wall or bench to get his head above the crowds so that we could see him and he could see us. If we didn't come in 5 - 10 minutes go into the nearest shop and ask for help OR, if a police officer was nearby, ask them for help. We also made sure he had a cell phone so that he could simply take it off of airplane mode and call. Simple, right???
Well, being the independent-take-charge kind of kid that he is, he totally went against what we had told him to do. He jumped on the next train to find us. So, naturally, when my husband went back to get him at the last station, he was gone. Since he knew where we were going - Buckingham Palace for a tour - he had decided he would just get there on his own. Went all the way out into the park, to the south side of the palace where you enter, and couldn't find us. Meanwhile my husband and I are in panic mode because he is nowhere to be found in the tube and he isn't answering his phone. When he couldn't find us at the palace entrance, the child had the presence of mind to think that maybe we were still looking for him in the tube, came back, found a police officer to help, and was taken to one of the offices in Green Park Station. So when we finally approached an officer for help he was quickly found with a radio call.
Even the best-laid plans can be thwarted by a kid who thinks they know what they are doing!! Only you know how your godson will act in similar circumstances. My best advice is to emphasize the importance of sticking with the family plan!! I don't think I've ever read my kid the riot act like I did that day - took 10 years off my life. On the one hand I was glad for his independence (he has since traveled Europe by himself because I know that he is completely able to) but on the other hand he scared me half to death!

I knew the Forum Community would come through for me! Thank you all so very much. You made points I had never considered before.

The suggestion to take a photo of my 11-yr-old every morning is a good one. I will choose to think of it as simply daily documentation of our trip and put out of my mind the image of me, in tears, showing it to the authorities if we get separated!!! (Can you tell that i have an over-active imagination??)
@Anita - your story about your son improvising on your plan is truly horrifying. My 11-yr-old is a pretty good traveler, but I don't know how independent he is. He is an only child and pretty self sufficient. I don't know if he would go so far as to ignore the plan and travel to the next tourist site (I sure hope not!)

@Southam - I adore your idea of making each new experience a dress rehearsal for my apprentice-adult! He lives in a small town. He's never been on a train or subway and I don't think he's ever flown. Your post has helped me see how much fun I will have helping him learn these new skills. And I believe he will be eager to learn.
We will work together and agree on a plan for all these scenarios and thanks to you, I think I can now present this to him as something exciting, rather than something frightening.

Thanks to you all!!

Even if he is 11, I agree that finding a mom with kids is the best way to get help. I don't know a mother out there who wouldn't do her level best to help a kid separated from their parents. And having the hotel staff write those important phrases in the local language on the back of the hotel card is a great idea. I might have them do that for me when I go to Russia!

I lost my husband on the metro in Lausanne, Switzerland. My husband is blind and travels with a guide dog. I got off but he didn’t. My husband did not have his phone on. I jumped back on the metro to go to the next stop but he was not there. What I did see was the metro going in the other direction and my husband’s neon yellow raincoat. When my husband realized he missed the stop, fellow riders helped him get off the car and cross the station to get on the car going in the right direction. He knew which stop he was supposed to get off and a person let him know when he reached it. People were so kind.

Now we have a plan. His phone is turned on for train travel days, and he wears that brightly colored rain coat.

Even the best-laid plans can be thwarted by a kid who thinks they know
what they are doing!!

I would totally be that kid! I would have known exactly where we were going and how to get there. I would have just gone on and wondered why everyone else wasn't there already.

All of these are great ideas, and I have filed away a bunch of them.

When we went to Europe, I had bracelets made for all of us. Those type that you use for running that don't fall off? They had our names, cell phone numbers (both mine and my husbands) and identified us as American. We traveled to Paris shortly after several terrorist events, and I was struck by the one at the airport where they were struggling to identify people. My husband revolted a little, but I pushed it. I realize (sounds gruesome) that a bracelet might not help in all cases (I'll allow imagination to fill in the vagueness there), but it was something. I was mostly concerned that my children, although we talk about emergencies and what to do, would struggle in a large scale emergency in another country where they don't speak the language. My kids were also 4 and 6 at the time, so definitely younger than your godson. But I still think a bracelet is a helpful identification and next to impossible to lose (at least the type we bought).