Why the PM's?

Who cares?

I think i got my answer. Thank you guys.

I ignore them, if people have questions the chances are more than one will have the same one, so better answer forum questions so more will benefit from them.

I've asked myself the same question, I get PMs with questions about Scandinavia every now and then.

Some people might be too shy or intimidated to post. It took me a long time to post for the first time - about 8 months.

If I had had a specific question for someone when I first joined, I probably would have pm'd them (I probably did) rather than risking a public post.

Are the PMs from regular posters or from new posters?
Perhaps they don't want everyone's answer, just yours?

Usually when I get a question in a PM it is a follow up from something I have posted about one of my trips, so the question is specific to that and not necessarily a general question.

MisterE,

I’ve sent many PM’s, to various posters, over the years and have befriended some of you ;-)

Take it as a compliment!
Since you’re very savvy about Hungary, people trust your advice.

Sometimes I suggest that they post the question on the forum as it would be helpful to others.

Peace

I get PM's now and again saying thanks for a tip in the general forums. I think people see it as a more personal way to say thank you. Occasionally a "hey I hope you took that the right way" (answer always a cheery yes). Occasionally "hey poster X is a bit cranky, just ignore them" (will do). Occasionally a clarifying or more specific question.

I never though send PMs. I'm not sure why - plenty of nice enough people who I'm happy to chat with, and who deserve some thank you for helping me :)

On a different forum I frequent a lot, sadly I've been getting PMs every day about a forum member who was in a head on collision and teetering on the brink in ICU for the past ten day. A bit of light, followed by a looming abyss, rinse repeat. His brave-faced family sends them down the distribution tree. Brutal for them - they are tight as frozen bolts, and he is their rock. I'll be very very glad the day those PMs stop coming (or at least I really hope that's the outcome).

Texas is a Country now?

Well, I am going to be a bit contrary and say you probably get a variety.

The forum can be rough at times for people not yet very experienced (and sometimes even for those who are). So rather than ask a question and be asked for more information or be forced to put their whole trip plan out there, they send a PM. At least that way, only one person will laugh or be mean. 🤣

Then you probably get some who are sure everyone else already knows the answer to the “dumb” (actually not) question they have.

Or they don’t want to have to explain the reasons they chose a certain place or way of doing something. I know I had some wacky planning for Scotland last summer….but I had reasons. Ha!

And sometimes (as is the case in a few that I get), it is simply people who want to talk about their upcoming trip as a conversation.

We clearly do have people who know a lot about certain places. But you are right that it’s a mistake to think those people have all the answers. Sometimes a given answer is a matter of perspective, not an absolute. So more input should be more helpful.

Maybe they are afraid their question will get buried and you won’t see it.

I ignore them, if people have questions the chances are more than one will have the same one, so better answer forum questions so more will benefit from them.

This is my philosophy as well.

I haven't had many pm's over the years here, but I'd say 50% of those who sent pm's with fairly detailed questions don't bother to come back and thank me.
Mind you, that happens on the public forums too.
Do they not like, or not believe the answers to their questions??

I'm looking at the first page of PM's I've received this month and for the most part they're to ask a specific question about a location I've visited, and all but one are from regular posters. I take it as a compliment, as nobody has PM 'd me yet to complain about what I write.

The first PM I ever recieved was from the first post I started back in 2019 when I asked for suggestions for a restaurant in Sarlat for an anniversary dinner. The person was overly enthusiastic and said he was from that area and was making some calls for me. Up to then I had no experience with chat rooms or forums and didn't know if this was normal or not. It's because of that experience that I try to be a helpful as possible if someone asks.

Angling off the end of Allan's post above, the two people who so far have said they ignore PM's live in Europe. If I lived Europe, I probably would also ignore them too - doesn't seem too far of a bridge to then being asked to grab a beer or have someone sleep on your couch.

Dear Mister E -
I have to agree with Priscilla - you should be flattered that people seek you out for your knowledgeable opinions. Or maybe they just find you intriguing and want to be friends? Like FB?

Maybe they feel the question is more specific to them or where they are going and not the whole community (or something others wouldn’t care about), and they know you’ll know the answer since you’ve been there.

Prior to my last Spain trip I sent PMs to a person who lives in the area I was going to visit, a part of the country not many people visit and one where a rental car was necessary. He knew of some great out of the way places I wouldn’t have known about and would have driven right past.

Okay, I have been dissuaded from my original idea that people do it primarily because of the way they get treated or fear of being treated badly.

All are welcome, and I enjoy it either way. Hmmmmm. Nvm

Respectfully, you may have selection bias in that conclusion. All but one person who responded have a "badge" next to their name, except Peter - who is almost there. (2 more posts!) Oh, and rachele, also getting there.

Those who have answered here are clearly not afraid to post. At least one group of individuals who might pm you (such as myself when I first joined the forum) might also be reluctant to respond to this post, even if they read it.

Ha! The badge? I never noticed! Now I see it and I have been lurking around here for many years, but never posted much and had no idea there is a Badge System. Geez.

rachele, you should have your green triangle badge soon!

Oh yippee.

I thought the badges represented how many Webmaster reprimands you received?

In that case, we all have some work to catch up to you Mister E!

Well gosh I have some of those too!

James, yes, I have at times received PM’s. Which I always answer. It is just politeness. A couple from you if memory serves me right. Just recently received support for my questions on the application of law. Must be a couple of posters or watchers who have LLM’s.

@ Allan, I seek your leave to answer the PM question you sent today. I assume you have granted it.

I addressed my apology to you, as under “What is your comfort zone” you lamented the locking of James’s question. I felt I was responsible for the locking because I asked factual questions on the application of law in a country other than my own. I created a new heading to apologise so as not to have your excellent question on mindset locked, on the chance that my forthright explanation may be considered unacceptable. Without quoting Shakespeare, I hope that makes sense.

James, Allen quite rightly suggested that my apology should have been also directed to you. As the moderator has locked my apology, as per request, I beg your indulgence to consider it direct to you with equal fervour. Lost count of how many beers I now owe you.

Regards Ron

I live in Germany and get a lot of messages. I like all of them and answer all of them. Sometimes this is about hotels, trains, food, festivals, anything Germany, or the Camino. Am always glad to help. If it is a question that should go on the forum too, I tell them it is a good forum question. I also get thank you messages, which is always nice.

Sometimes people want a personal touch or they don't want the crowd that only travels a certain way to chime in with their "advice".

Mister E - The reason people do private messages is that there is no way to reply directly to someone else's comment. Any question you might ask just goes to the bottom of the long thread and may be overlooked. I just sent someone a private message myself to a poster on another thread. It didn't need to be private, I just didn't want it to get lost.

I have received several PM’s for a variety of reasons. Here’s a couple:

Asking a specific question about a city on a previous trip.

Asking about our monthly local RS group travel meet up.

Corresponding as a friend, checking up on my next plans.

And I have sent PM’s.

A recent one was asking a person from Oxford a specific question about a rental car company. I preferred to hear from someone who lived there.

I have sent a couple over the years when I felt my advice might be helpful to the new traveler but was a bit personal.

And I have sent PM’s at times when I thought the poster interpreted the info differently than I intended, so I wanted to apologize for it and clear the air. I’ve also sent one when it seemed someone was being treated harshly, and I wanted to share a kind note with them.

The reason people do private messages is that there is no way to reply directly to someone else's comment...

It is a pretty simple & basic forum structure and posts aren't numbered, but there's atleast the ability to quote someone. When it comes to PMs it may be a couple days before I check in on the forum and I don't usually log on to read them, when I've received PMs it's been many days or even a week or so between when they were sent and when I actually log on and see I've received one. And the poor soul now thinks I'm rude or ignoring them.

I get a lot of PMs too, and i don’t mind at all. I never stopped to wonder why a PM vs on the forum. Some i get are personal. I think Jo hit the nail on the head why some people don’t post on the forum and i don’t blame them…
“they don't want the crowd that only travels a certain way to chime in with their "advice".”

Am always glad to help. If it is a question that should go on the forum too, I tell them it is a good forum question.

Ms. Jo, that’s a good way of looking at it. And a good way of responding.

I get some PMs too, from people new to the forum and I’m never sure what to do. I usually respond but tell them I prefer to answer questions on the forum. But I like the response above so I might start using that one. :-)

Claudia always has the most entertaining answers.

I usually only get PMs from the moderators or someone who is mad at me.

Sometimes there is a question or request that I think is too tangential to the original forum post. I may want to ask a question or make a reply that I want to share with a specific individual, not start an open invitation for replies. I also don't like to feel like a shill for a specific business when someone asks for recs. Then sometimes someone gets a rude response and I wan t to show support without continuing a thread that is degenerating.

What is a Zombie thread?

One that died and then got revived….

Ohhhh .......

"I thought the badges represented how many Webmaster reprimands you received?"

LOL

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

On your original thought. I've seen many people (probably including myself) get corrected (chided?) for not searching the forum first before asking a question or asking the question on the wrong forum. I tend to look at page one of a forum but rarely go back and look at six-year-old threads that answer the same question. Post COVID some of the answers aren't the same.

Yeah, I knew it was a zombie, but I thought it was an interesting question anyway. Some things are always new to somebody.

When it comes to PMs it may be a couple days before I check in on the forum and I don't usually log on to read them, when I've received PMs it's been many days or even a week or so between when they were sent and when I actually log on and see I've received one. And the poor soul now thinks I'm rude or ignoring them.

There’s a setting you can click in your Forum profile that sends you an email when someone sends/replies to a PM (or replies to a thread of yours). Check that these messages aren’t in your Spam Folder, though. That happened until I marked them as ‘safe’ in my email account.

I just checked mine and they are a mix of 'have a good trip!', asking for clarification of an answer, or asking a locally specific question.