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Which team are you on?

A comment caught my eye in another thread giving advice to stop for a 2-hour lunch at a café and watch the world go by. It’s a common piece of advice, and it sounds like a very romantic notion on the joys of travel, but…I think my head would explode. Stop at a café in Paris the books say, linger over a cappuccino the books say…longest 15 minutes of my life I say.

I suspect I’m of the minority opinion, but my mind and body need to be moving to absorb the surroundings. That doesn’t mean I’m rushing from place to place looking at everything but seeing nothing. I can spend hours in a museum or wandering the streets. What I can’t do is sit and watch from the sidelines. We do sit, my wife makes me. She even expects me to make googly eyes at her like we’re still teenagers. But when I sit for too long, my knees start shaking, my toes start tapping and my chair starts to bounce as I shake off those imaginary shackles. She throws up her hands in frustration and off we go. Even then our wanders aren’t a straight line; my comfort zone is zigging and zagging to every interesting site, touch and smell or as I’ve been told; to every bright, shiny object.

So, who’s with me? Are you more Team ZigZag or more Team Stop-and-Watch-the-World?

Posted by
5236 posts

Why must a person be on one or the other? Depending on the circumstances, we play on both teams.

Posted by
3135 posts

Allan, great question: You can do both.

During the day when everything is open we're on the move seeing stuff. Lunch is brief and I don't mind a food stand or even an occasional McDonald's. As an example, we would take some wine down to the Seine in the evening and enjoy people-watching from a bench. That was so much fun. So, that was our relaxing and people-watching part of the day. We also enjoyed watching some of the absolutely jam-packed Chinese tourist boats where I wondered if there was even room to move around.

Posted by
389 posts

I'm on both teams, depending on mood and what is appealing where I am.
Yet another huge advantage to a woman traveling solo. Eat when and what I want, walk or sit when I want, change my itinerary if I find something happening that I'm interested in,or just ready to move on!

Posted by
1937 posts

This is a great discussion topic. I'm kind of tempted to wait for more replies before I add mine, but here I go.

I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced that knee-shaking, toe-topping, chair-bouncing feeling will understand what you're talking about. I have definitely had that experience, especially at breakfast, when my energy level is the highest and I'm most eager to get going to start my day's explorations. But I've also had it at other times of the day.

As I've gotten older and more experienced in traveling, I've tried to train myself to slow down and count the stop/sit/gaze times as an equally valuable part of my "sightseeing" as a museum or a neighborhood walk. I write a travel blog, and I like to take some time each day to write about my journeys, but before I started blogging, I used to keep a journal and just write little notes about things I was observing. I still carry a small notebook and a pen so I can make note of things as I go, or as I stop, so I don't forget to blog about it later.

If I'm going to stop and watch the world, I generally prefer to do it in a park or plaza than in a restaurant or café. But I try to do it even when I do feel like my head will explode. When it doesn't actually explode, I feel richer for the experience.

Posted by
1037 posts

"I've been to Europe a whole swack of times and there are a list countries that don't call out to me - so trip planning, these many years later, is easy. I expand on the countries that grab me - if the concensus says 2 nights, I make it 3 or 4, if the concensus says 3 or 4 it will be 5 for sure. I explore on foot, I marvel at my sourroundings, and I rarely care about the deep history of the place which means I have no need for travel guidebooks or a local tour guide. Lunches are most always early to mid-afternoon and cocktail hour begins early.

Travel has been leisurely and quite pleasant these past 8-10 years."

Sounds EXACTLY like our trips in the last decade, right down to the lunch, cocktail hour...the pace you describe sounds like us.

We spend less time "indoors" and more time outdoors, meaning less time in museums, etc., more time on foot, walking through neighborhoods, window shopping, discovering what is just around the corner. Food and drink are high on our list, but not the incessant "making reservations" months in advance you see on this site. If you pass an interesting restaurant and they can't take you this evening, book a table for another night. And so on...start each day with a basic plan, and adapt as you go...

Posted by
1105 posts

I like a good coffee. I like cafes. But, this lingering for long times over one cup of coffee is hard to do. Just sit there. Coffee either done, or cold. Do you order a another? It all sounds so romantic. It all sounds so, “European”. That is the attraction. But the dream and the reality do not sync up.
If I am to sit for extended times, then I have to at least be able to have a beer or two, some wine, some tapas, or other delights. Sitting over one/two cups of coffee, not so much. How long can you sit, how many coffees can you drink.
May as well sit on a park bench. At least there you have options about leaving without having to wonder about a second or third coffee or getting the check.
The cafe approach is all about being part of the scene, doing the local thing.
Then again, I am not into going to the bar for my espresso and gulping it down and leaving.
So somewhere in the middle is the answer. I do need a coffee, but the fantasy of the euro cafe and lingering is beyond me. If I do linger I want something on the table to eat and drink, not an empty or cold coffee cup.

Posted by
7168 posts

I'm on team 'move move move, sit sit sit, move move move, sit sit sit'. In other words, both works for me at times during the day.

Posted by
8322 posts

Both, there is a time for each.
Even taking a guided tour, you have time to relax and take in your surroundings. Although, for sure you have less time to stop.

We have done every kind of trip possible from guided tours (bus and rail), cruises, river cruises, do it yourself drive tours and more.
Some places like Egypt are best done with a private tour/river cruise, while others like our four week drive tour of Wales and England we planned and did everyone on our own.

In a week we are to be on an East African safari which will be guided, but allow for much time to take in our surroundings.

Posted by
3181 posts

Allan, I’m with you. I’m a grab a sandwich and go kind of girl. 😊 My last trip was a solo trip and I didn’t have to “waste” much time eating. My next trip is with my sister and I have a feeling she’ll want to actually sit down to eat. The horror!!! 😊

I’m like this at family holidays too. Once I’m done eating, I want to get up and go. I call it ants in the pants syndrome. I have a hard time sitting still. This is one of the main reasons I do not think I would do well on a group tour. Having to linger over a meal sounds like torture to me!

Posted by
2816 posts

I am more like you I am afraid. I don't like two hour lunches and we deliberately either grab a sandwich and to eat on a park bench or the like or go to a place that you pay when you get your food so we can leave on our schedule.

I don't even like two hour dinners every night. We do take out some of the time or make our own food. Then when we do go out, it is more of an event.

I do like to sit when I am tired and I do like to watch the world go by. But not for two hours. A park bench in my view is better than a cafe as you can move on when you feel like it without waiting for a check.

Posted by
7882 posts

Great question, Allan, and I’m smiling because I certainly can relate to the feelings you shared. So, I guess I’m on Team Allan. ; ). (I still remember the one time I traveled domestically with a friend, and as soon as we reached the destination, she pulled out a book to relax & read for several hours while I was ready to go, go, go - LOL!)

The image of lingering at a cafe in Paris was actually the reason I took the RS week in Paris tour. My husband & I had been to Paris, along with other locations, the previous year. When we were back home, I realized we hadn’t been sitting at cafes….picturing that image. I did my first solo vacation trip and lingered at Les Deux Magots my first morning pre-tour over breakfast…..but that was because the waiter was very slow….does that still count? LOL! I stopped at my favorite park, the Luxembourg Garden, a few times for at least 15 minutes.

I’m sure some of our fellow forum participants think I’m crazy that I stay at most places just two nights (recent trip - 11 smaller cities, 24-day trip), but I thoroughly enjoy it - very energizing and still time to relax through a museum (no crowds in those smaller cities!) and linger over an Italian dinner in the evening.

Ohh, I actually did a purposeful linger! I was also in Venice during this recent trip, and I planned to splurge and sit at a table at the Florian at the San Marco Piazza for the last evening, enjoy the music and people watch. It did feel a bit weird to s-t-r-e-t-c-h out that time, but what a wonderful place to do it and see the changes as the lighting in the piazza changes and the overall ambiance!

Posted by
2738 posts

Nope, not on your team. Love the fact that the table is yours at European cafes and restaurants. I will linger, have that second or third coffee. Maybe read the paper, people watch. Favorite part of my day.

Posted by
6587 posts

Alan, wondering if its my comment re. Honfleur that got you thinking? Anyway, everyone that knows me would say that I'm absolute Team ZigZag. Unless there is opportunity to picnic midday, we are usually quite busy when we travel. We grab a snack, usually a granola bar and keep on going. Every once and a while I feel like there is some place that requires an itinerary item of sit and relax. A cocktail in the town squares of Wroclaw and Bydgoszcz, an Aperol Spritz on a balcony overlooking Siena's Campo, coffee and kouign Amann at a bakery on the square in Locranon, hot chocolate and churro at a cafe overlooking the river in Besalu, and a beer on the Honfleur harbor. I guess I could argue that I'm on both teams. On the other hand, on camping trips in the U.S., I rest and reflect often on hikes, mostly because I'm waiting for my husband to get that perfect photo.

Posted by
2622 posts

2 hours for lunch when things are open and I want to wander around and see things? No.

2 hours for dinner when I'm tired, things are closed, I've had a full day. Yes.

Posted by
379 posts

Thanks for posting this, I totally agree!

Husband and I aren't relaxers and when we go to Europe we're too excited to see everything. Lunch is typically a quick bite. We love churches and museums and hours tend to be very limited, so we want to take advantage of the time that they're open.

It's important to know yourself and what you enjoy. I like to be on the move.

Posted by
82 posts

Lingering may be what I look forward to more than any other part of the trip. I think all of my sight-seeing is really a search for the perfect spot to linger. I do have FOMO and see essentially everything I'm supposed to see and definitely drive certain travel partners crazy with wanting to go go go, but a lazy beverage, atmosphere, and ideally some happy companions on the same page is just about perfection for me.

Posted by
7882 posts

Allan, I’m curious. Have you ever stayed at an agriturismo during a RS tour? It was my least favorite stop of all of the tours’ locations. Probably because of this tendency; also because I grew up in a farming community, so there wasn’t the novelty of staying on a farm.

Posted by
129 posts

I think everyone will have different definitions of what is part of the experience versus what is a time waster. For me, enjoying some leisure time at a cafe in Paris (or a pub in Britain, a beer garden in Germany, etc.) is part of the experience. Now when my wife drags us into the local department store or other shops, that's when my toes start tapping and I get eager to get moving again. The only souvenir shopping I need can be done at the airport before the flight home.

Posted by
1450 posts

I like breaking up my sightseeing throughout the day with a stop at a Cafe or on a park bench with a drink and or snack. I use the time to go over and or delete photos that I have taken so far. A few times during a downpour I have just sat at a Cafe waiting for the storm to pass enjoying a tea, desert and or some Port.

Posted by
7882 posts

Allan, good timing. The Italian word-for-the-day through The Local IT on-line newspaper is - “piano piano” – ‘no hurry’!

Posted by
291 posts

I've been on both teams at different times/different trips. You have probably already considered this, but if I was your wife, I'd free you to go off and explore, while she sits there and watches the world go by. Great solution for both of you! You don't HAVE to do everything together. And maybe she can find someone else to make googly eyes at her while she's sitting there! (ha, kidding.)

Posted by
4625 posts

This is one of the main reasons I do not think I would do well on a
group tour. Having to linger over a meal sounds like torture to me!

So many replies to comment on. Sorry, I can't sit still and comment on them all at once. But starting with Carrie's concern about tours. I've only been on one; an RS tour where rated the meals a 2 out of 5 on the review because they took sooooo loooong. The bonus was that my social butterfly wife loved it and she didn't miss me or a few other of my fellow zigzaggers as we snuck away a few times.

Posted by
4625 posts

And maybe she can find someone else to make googly eyes at her while
she's sitting there! (ha, kidding.)

That was her hope on our Scotland tour in June. She was dreaming that Jamie Faser (character on Outlander played by Sam Heughan) would plunk down beside her for a googly eye session.

Posted by
538 posts

When I travel with my husband, we are team Stop and Watch the World. We also tend to get a later start in the mornings.
When I travel solo, I am Team ZigZag. Typically when I travel solo my trips are short, so I have a rough outline of what I want to see and do. I'm up and out early, I tend to grab lunch and or coffee in between stops, or in a museum cafe, then I'm off to the next thing.

Posted by
343 posts

Ah... the romantic view of passing the time at a cafe. Can't do it. I want to. I need to. I just can't. My wife and I joke among ourselves that we're Americans, we've eaten, now it's time to go. We enjoy our meals and then off we go. We will lollygag our way through the city streets to see neighborhoods. Have you ever noticed how quiet and tourist free Venice is the further you travel out from St. Marks Square? We all travel differently and there is no right or wrong just what is best for us individually.

Posted by
133 posts

I wonder if the joy with sitting and enjoying coffee or a meal is trained out of North Americans at birth with 'coffee to go' and 'sit down, quickly order, eat, bill, tip and leave'.

My trips to the US and Canada and what I've read on here, indicate that there is a definite cultural difference which exists.

USA = busy = productive = winning = good human.

I'm not sure if it's a bit less in Canada? It's definitely not a thing (to the same extent) in NZ.

Go out for coffee, the coffee is great! Enjoy that it may take a few minutes to order, a few more minutes to get to you and then drink it while sitting! Crazy!

Next step could be to spend longer over your meals (so difficult in North America where you are hounded to pay and leave asap), Enjoy the difference :)

Posted by
4625 posts

I don't think anyone who hasn't experienced that knee-shaking,
toe-topping, chair-bouncing feeling will understand what you're
talking about. I have definitely had that experience, especially at
breakfast, when my energy level is the highest and I'm most eager to
get going to start my day's explorations. But I've also had it at
other times of the day.

In 2019 on our RS Loire to the South of France tour I was up before the sun in Carcassonne to get some photos of the sun rising off of the walls. It was spectacular. A couple of hours later I met our group for breakfast and was describing it, but they all looked at me with noncomprehending bleary eyes. I note as well, that of the pair of trip reports so far this year about the tour stop in Carcassonne, nobody has mentioned jumping out of bed before the sun, despite my recommendation in my trip report. Hmmm no zigzaggers in the bunch.

Posted by
1744 posts

Oh, most definitely team Zig Zag.

I don't much like coffee besides a cup in the morning. I don't like beer. I don't like wine. So, what am I going to do while I'm sitting there? Twiddle my thumbs? I can talk with my DH, but we talk all day long, anyway, while we're toodling about, and in the evening, while we're going over our photos and our day. There's nothing particularly special about talking to him while I'm sitting in a cafe, pub, or restaurant.

I also have no need to pretend to be a local in order to enjoy a place. I don't want to slow down when I'm travelling. I relax plenty at home or when I go on a beach vacation. That's not what I travel overseas for.

While others are sitting and drinking or lingering over a meal, DH and I are wandering and exploring, often off the beaten path--the moat in Prague (cool and uncrowded, even in summer), a quirky little bookstore on the Left Bank, the botanical gardens in Zagreb, the Barranco District in Lima. We're out looking at the Southern Cross with Ziggy, the resident astronomer, in Twyfelfontein, Namibia, while we listen to everyone else in the nearby lodge having drinks after their dinner. We're enjoying the castle gardens in Dublin, and peering in shop windows in Causeway Bay, Hong Kong.

For meals, I like to eat good food in nice settings. I need to get off my feet and have something cold to drink for a few minutes mid-afternoon. But when I'm done, I'm done, and I want to move on.

As for the next shiny thing: I always say that I have ADOS - Attention Deficit...Oooh, Shiny!

Posted by
1894 posts

Depends on how busy my morning was. If it included a lot of walking, I combine a rest with lunch, but not much more than an hour. Even at home at a restaurant I get antsy once I am done eating. Lingering at a table I find simply uncomfortable. However, sitting at a bar with a glass of beer or wine and tapas, I seem to be able to linger longer...Hmm, why is that?

Posted by
3135 posts

Don't you people understand that the day is for moving and seeing stuff while it's open, and the evening is for chilling and people-watching? You can do it all, every daggone day. Preferably with a Budweiser and an edible. C'mon, man!

Posted by
15794 posts

As a solo traveler, I can choose whatever I want on the spur of the moment. If my feet need a rest, I'm quite happy to spend an hour or two at a cafe, sipping an Aperol spritz, if the scene is interesting. '

When I was (much, sigh) younger, I'd pick up stuff at a supermarket for snacks and lunch, and sit just long enough to eat. I often kept going until I was completely spent, then eat in my room with my feet up. I never wanted to waste an hour over lunch or 2 hours over dinner. Not only did I get to see more sights, I saved money.

Now that I have less stamina and more disposable income, I enjoy lingering over a drink and spending two hours at dinner, neither of which I do at home. Now that I've entered the digital world, if the scene in front of me is boring, I send photos and messages to friends. At dinner I often read a book (on phone or Kindle, of course), unless I get into conversation with people at the next table.

Posted by
1002 posts

I’m with those on both teams. Most of my days are zig zagging around, but every once in awhile, one of my favorite things to do is get a coffee and cake in some beautiful area, usually surrounded by old buildings or a scenic view. I can sit there for an hour or so just taking it in and enjoying the fact that I’m there. These tend to be moments that I remember years later. Lingering dinners at the end of the day, and also outside in a beautiful area, are also nice. I’m also with someone else in that there are other things that make my toes tap and my knees shake. One friend I travel with sometimes likes to shop. We see a department store or mall type place and she must go in. Minutes in there seem like hours and such a waste of good trip time.

Posted by
369 posts

Oh dear! I believe that I may have started this controversy with my "2 hour lunch" comment on another thread. So sorry about that! 😁 But it has been interesting!
My real point to first timers in Europe was that getting up and out there first thing in the morning provides more time during the day to take advantage of being in Europe.

I once traveled with a person who wanted to drink until midnight and then get up no earlier than 11 am. And we were traveling by car through the countryside so I couldn't leave her behind, although I was greatly tempted. We ended up missing several sights that the 3rd person and I had wanted to see and rushing through others. Midway through the trip I was pondering the exact definition of "justifiable homicide" in France.

We eventually arrived at a midsized city and sat down to dinner in the evening across from the train station. I pointed to out the train station to her. Then I told her that the car (which I had rented) would be leaving the next morning at 8 AM. She could be in it, or she could continue her trip independently by train. She was in the car next morning.

So the real point is that however one chooses to spend the day, I want to get up and take advantage of that time! (Related point: Choose your traveling companions wisely.)

Posted by
2809 posts

I’m a charter member of team zigzag. I’ve been to Paris numerous time and have yet to sit in a cafe. I know I’m an outlier, but I just don’t get the appeal of people watching. My husband is a fairly big guy and loathes the idea of sitting at tiny little tables practically rubbing shoulders with too many people. We hate long leisurely meals too. We ask for the check when they bring our food so we don’t have to hang around after we’re done eating.

I travel to see things, not sit around. If I get tired and need a rest, I’ll sit on a bench staring at beautiful scenery or an historic town square. Twenty minutes and I’m ready to move on.

Posted by
4625 posts

Allan, I’m curious. Have you ever stayed at an agriturismo during a RS
tour? It was my least favorite stop of all of the tours’ locations.

Jean, we stopped at a small family run Vineyard in the Languedoc-Roussillon region in France. I just had a glance at my trip report for that day, and my key word was "Yawn". Not my thing, but most people on the tour were interested and engaged. After the tour we had a leisurely lunch at the vineyard and I distinctly remember leaving the table to play with the dog.

Posted by
4625 posts

I travel to see things, not sit around. If I get tired and need a
rest, I’ll sit on a bench staring at beautiful scenery or an historic
town square. Twenty minutes and I’m ready to move on.

20 minutes, that's us. We typically will search for a place with wife, be it a hotel lobby or a library. We can clear up any issues at work, upload photos, check the news at home, sports scores, make sure the kids haven't burned down the house...

Posted by
4625 posts

We're not keeping score, we're having a friendly discussion.

Posted by
9022 posts

Allan, I am concerned that you might be skirting the first principle of marriage: happy wife = happy life 🙂. Seriously, if it only takes a few minutes of google-eyeing to get what you want the rest of the time, then you need to bear it.

When I traveled solo, I didnt want to bother with eating at cafes and restaurants, wasting time that could be put to better use. But with a partner, I learned quickly that you have to compromise. While neither one of us are foodies, food is a very important part of the travel experience for her. So whether its fast food or a wine-soaked meal, we have to plan that we will spend that time as temporary Europeans, using it to converse, socialize, plan and relax, as much as eating. For her, that Parisian-cafe-people-watching thing, is just as much an experience, that she wants to share with you, not just check it off.

Now I get the toe-tapping head exploding thing, when its about stopping at every cheap souvenir shop, or spending more time in the museum gift shop than in the museum itself. While she is zig-zagging from one shelf to another, I'm mentally watching the time meter on our trip keep rolling. But the fact is, I have already seen all the art galleries, cathedrals, monuments, and fine architecture I ever need to see. And frankly, there's a certain sameness to big cities in Europe that makes them all seem familiar. So I dont begrudge the time spent in quiet reflection.

Posted by
1037 posts

Choose your traveling companions wisely.

Fortunately, my wife and I are on the same page, or in keeping with this thread, we are charter members of the 'smell the roses' gang.

We traveled to France once with a dear friend who is a zig zagger, but a better description is that she is a bucket lister in the extreme. By that I mean she races through every day and at best gets a superficial impression of what she is blowing past. She never pauses for anything interesting that might pop up. She can't stand to have any unassigned time during the waking hours of the day. We knew that our styles clashed, so she went her way and we went ours, and we would typically see her at breakfast and not again until we met for dinner in the evening. We did do a couple of things together, but for the most part we rarely saw her, and nothing wrong with that.

Posted by
9022 posts

Yeah, it occurred to me later, that I've not met many traveling couples that were on the same page, style-wise. And more commonly, its one person who dominates. As we get older, I get slower and less team zig-zag.

Posted by
4625 posts

Stan, happy wife-happy life was written into our wedding vows and I toe the lie at home (sometimes). Surprisingly, away from home my wife and I are on the same page most of the time on where we want to go and what we want to see, but the pace of a day can create trouble. Dining and rest days are where we differ. Fine dining is important to her, and while I enjoy it, I don't really care. Food is probably the least important part of travel for me and I'd prefer to skip lunch or just grab a banana on the run. Both of us at least agree that waiting until 7pm or later to eat is barbaric and a waste of valuable time.

Posted by
8124 posts

I think it is more about establishing a pace for the day. Now to start with, having done quite a bit of traveling, I am not coming up with a long list of things to do in a day, parceling every half hour and mapping it out.

We pick one major thing for the morning, one for the afternoon. It has taken some time to convince the wife, but a typical day for us is:

Do coffee and something light early, before things open, usually reviewing the day, emails, etc. (I tend to not prefer hotel breakfasts, only occasionally, and if I can save 20 euro per person doing so, all the better)

Then we wander to our morning objective, if it is something that interests only me, the wife shops, I do that. We meet up after (Google Location Sharing is a gem!) and either do a late morning café, or hit up minor sights or wander.

Then a must is lunch, we eat when the locals do, so that could be noonish to 3:00 PM, my wife had the bad habit of go, go, go...right through the accepted lunch time, then getting hungry at odd hours, ruining dinner later. So now, when the accepted lunch time occurs, it is a full stop, sit and eat, for the accepted local custom (if a quick lunch in Germany or UK is the thing, fine; but in Spain, we eat later and heavier for mid-day, Italy a mix)

Then repeat in the afternoon with some major site, a stop late afternoon for Aperitif's, then maybe a rest or freshen at the hotel

Evenings are a stroll, maybe a drink, a tapa, then dinner based on local custom, either at 8:00 or later. Dinners have become a 2 hour affair. Then? Maybe another stroll, some gelato.

SO to the original question, we are not rush, rush, rush. We have a packed day, but lots of opportunities to sit and watch things go by.

Posted by
12315 posts

I generally eat lunch relatively quickly but take my time at dinner. Most of the time I won't sit down at a restaurant at lunch. I'll just grab a sandwich, kebab, crepe, or picnic items, and eat at a nearby park. I do watch the world go by at the park but not for an hour or two.

Posted by
10288 posts

Both of us at least agree that waiting until 7pm or later to eat is barbaric and a waste of valuable time.

Hahahahahahahaha

Meanwhile, if my traveling companions force me to leave our lodging at 6:30 for a 7 pm dinner, I am going to mutiny !

I just traveled this week with my brother and his family in Copenhagen, and luckily we are on the same page as this -- all 5 of us do really well together.

Now, if my husband were along -- FORGET IT. We would be late to leave in the mornings, miss half of what we want to see, and dine at 10 pm nightly ....

Posted by
4894 posts

I am on Team Chani - lol! Also known in my family as #dowhateveryouwant.

If I travel with friends, it is usually with zigzaggers. I can do that about a week - also about the limit of their attention span, so it works out. However they make it up in being happy travelers - happy with whatever travel throws our way, never a complaint, always cheerful and fun. So for that long, it’s perfect. But I move more slowly than they do typically. So I need more stops - but rarely 2 hours! I don’t exactly people watch, although sometimes that is fun. I have to admit I am liking the ability as a solo traveler to decide how I feel at that particular moment and then do whatever that is.

Posted by
1637 posts

I think it can evolve over time. I remember our first trip overseas, way back in 2000. We went to England and DH wanted us to go-go-go. Pushed me to my limit, and he was definitely in better physical shape than I was, as least stamina wise. All I wanted was a few leisurely periods each day to rest up. No chance.

Over the subsequent years and trips he's slowed down and now is happy to sit and people watch, or have a leisurely meal. Or stroll slowly. (By strolling I mean slow walking with no agenda). I've sped up, mainly because I've learned the true value of expensive shoes. So we've kind of met in the middle over time. And I think we've learned how to travel together.

Last October we spent 8 nights in Nice, our first trip since the Big P. We only did two days trips. I wanted a 3rd (Antibes), but he was dead set on another slow day around Nice. I do wish in a way we had gone, but another day with no agenda was delightful.

Posted by
2693 posts

Allan, I am definitely with you in team zig zag. I can sit for a meal, but cannot linger. Tried it and hated it. My husband is worse than me. We both like to be on the move and we have not changed our style in all of our years together.

Posted by
1396 posts

For me, if you have the time, slow down and enjoy the time/place. I do understand for some traveling on a budget and schedule, limited vacation time etc. the need to keep moving is paramount for the success of the trip. Some of it is just in your genes. Easy for me to say as I'm retired and living here. Some of my family schedule only 7–10-day visits. For me way too little time. I think they realize it too late. Different circumstances breed different results. Just this afternoon we rode our ebikes to the Altstadt and had a Cappuccino and a Bier with people watching.

Posted by
9022 posts

Allan, it occurred to me that this conflict is one of the reasons that led us to RS tours as a compromise. With a set schedule for most of the time, we don'[t have to make a lot of decisions on pacing.

PS we too dislike late dinners. I will always trade food for sleep. When we are scoping places out for dinner, we always find some that are willing to take us tourists in early. On the RS tours we've been on, if its late, many if not most, people get up and leave as soon as they are done.

Posted by
1625 posts

Team Both!
Our Coffee or Beer and Spritz breaks are more for re-grouping and strategizing our next move. I think your perspective of "sit and watch from the sidelines" is not my experience. I sit and look at the fashion, the movement, hearing all the sounds, smelling all the smells, the hustle and bustle of where I am, the slice of life that I am just fortunate enough to be visiting.
Our travel moto: We can sleep at home! So we are just as anxious to start the day, get out there and explore, see what we can get into for the day.

Posted by
4625 posts

Oh dear! I believe that I may have started this controversy with my "2
hour lunch" comment on another thread. So sorry about that! 😁

Yes! It was your comment that got me thinking about it. I certainly wouldn't call it a controversy or even a right or wrong way to travel. One of my favourite things about this forum is reading opinions about different ways to see and do things. What fun would it be if everyone who replied was on Team Zigzag? Learning what makes people tick is the fun part for me.

Posted by
1959 posts

Max Weber wrote about eating/meal habits in his great contribution to social theory The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. Short version the Industrial Revolution era Protestant elect, as such, weren't gustatory hobbyists (food-pleasure was not a sign that you were part of the pre-ordained ascendancy, rather the opposite), and there was work to get done. Worked great for building capital, and was endemic to the USA in particular.

Cultural tendencies are surprisingly enduring. My wife is culturally Protestant and I'm culturally Catholic. Unless much has already been achieved in a day, she gets twitchy as soon as she pushes back her plate.

Which is just fine. We are who we are after all. It's nice to relax at lunch, but just as one might not expect a French tourist coming to the USA to lunch on pizza while walking down the sidewalk, if my wife wants the check so she can get to her next bullet point no harm no foul.

Posted by
7995 posts

A decision might be influenced by how long one has available for their vacation. Either way, whatever “team” you’re on, it’s the Visiting team!

Posted by
2815 posts

Before this topic fades away I want to bend it in my hobbyhorse axe-grinding direction on the distinction between holiday and vacation time and regular or work time --

note how many of the comments couched their answers on which team they are on, or how they switch depending on conditions, in a way that contrasts with what they do at home or what they do at work -- because they want to make it clear that away-time is different from normal time, and we have different values/weights upon our time when away than when we're not away. We (sometimes) define our vacation in contrast to what it is that we're vacationing from. And we're vacationing from a whole varied range of occupations and lifestyles, so no surprise that how we do the opposite on our me-time or down-time doesn't mesh with what others are inclined to do.

One anecdote from my pre-RS travel days: I was going to the UK with a friend and watched him getting packed, and was bothered to see that he was taking a travel size backgammon set and a chess set and a pack of cards -- I should have said what I was thinking, which was how bad do you think the weather is going to be that we'll be stuck inside with nothing to do but board games? And don't they have their own board games in their pubs already? It didn't occur to me for even a moment that he wanted to spend vacation time playing backgammon, because we played backgammon pretty regularly already. So, flash forward to a week into our trip, and he grumbles and moans that we haven't done much sitting in a pub and playing games, and I said we've been lucky with the weather mostly -- and the conflict escalated from there. It honestly had gone right over my head that his idea of how to spend time on vacation was to do the same things that we did at home, just sitting in a different pub. I was gobsmacked, I'll tell you.

Posted by
4625 posts

It honestly had gone right over my head that his idea of how to spend
time on vacation was to do the same things that we did at home, just
sitting in a different pub.

Thinking about it, out of curiosity I mimic some of my home behaviour such as finding a pub with the local game on TV and watch with the local fans. I don't do this as often as I'd like since my wife is not a sports fan and doesn't see the entertainment value. Or going to a game, I'm not a soccer fan, but I want to experience a soccer game and check if it rivals a hockey crowd. I see this though, as experiencing the differences of a passion in a different location, not doing the same thing in different surroundings. I hope that makes sense.

Posted by
967 posts

Use to be Team Zig-Zag. Now Team Stay, Watch and Wander. :)

Posted by
2815 posts

That should be a series of separate threads, and not under General Europe --
holiday/vacation time might be the opposite of home/work time but it also might be a distillation or concentration of it, or a variation on a theme, or other kinds of contrasts -- and each of those ways to being on holiday are worthy of attention and cultivation.
Since I live near San Francisco this comes up for me pretty often, that I will be standing on the same corner, perhaps the Powell Street cable car turnaround, with a few thousand other people, and if you look at them attentively you'll see that we are not experiencing the same corner at all. A thousand different dreams / imaginations led us here and shape what we're witnessing. For me it is often nearly torture, while for shoppers from the suburbs it's a highlight of their week, and for petty thieves it's rush hour, and for international tourists it's an instagram moment, and for closeted mid-westerners it's a peek at liberation/freedom, and on and on.

Posted by
802 posts

My partner and I are rather complementary in that I am the type "a" and I mean "TYPE "A"" while he's the type "b". He's content to sit in a Paris sidewalk cafe hoping for a cute dog to walk by while I'm busy making sure plumes of smoke aren't wafting under our nostrils. I like the cafe time to the extent that I can regain energy and discuss what's next. I thrive with a calming partner while he needs my fire and drive.

I architect our travel experiences and manage the details. For instance I make sure we don't miss any key paintings. I'm fortunate that we both have the same interest in the arts so extensive museum time is not an issue but I have to keep the number of churches under control. I'll make sure we have every possible map and app we need and his ready sense of humor helps interrupt the tape playing in my mind.

He will grab my shoulder and steer me out of harm's way when I'm crossing the street incorrectly in London. In Paris he caught one of the women on our tour when she fell backwards while boarding our bus and kept her from landing on her back on the curb. She was so appreciative and we had a great friend on that tour.

It's the perfect balance and we've arrived at an appreciation of our highly functional little team.

Posted by
1682 posts

Flippin' 'eck, when are those blasted mid-westerners going to come out of the closet and embrace liberation and freedom. It's about time, I say.

I try my hardest to be on the side of reason and common sense, and Periscope's idea of smelling the roses (or au jus).