When to Send up the Rockets. (when do you want to be interrupted on a trip)

Must be a slow day but I will bite -- Standing Orders ---- IF we can do something or need to do something, let us know. IF not, it will keep till we get home.

On a side note but related. In our area and our family and friends, I am noticing a trend not to have a quick services when someone has died. Often the "services" are delayed to a more convenient time, when the weather is better. We have had number of death recently when the services were delayed several weeks -- in one case -- six months.

I would want to know if someone, friend or relative, was in a bad way. I probably would not rush home unless it was one of our children and we could do something, not just to be there. I had that talk with my mother when she was still with us and she agreed, if we were on a big trip and she passed, not to rush home as we were at peace with her stage of life and our relationship.

We do want to be contacted about house or pet issues that need rectifying. We have had a carpenter ant invasion, a broken garage door spring that trapped the house-sitter’s car inside, and a kitten that took ill and required an emergency ultrasound and resulting diet change which saved him. (Luckily each crisis was on a separate trip.)

If we can do something remotely or need to make a decision — which we could in each case — we want to hear.

I am pretty sure my family wouldn't tell me anything until I got back, for fear of "ruining" my trip. I did have a family death (aunt) while I was on a tour, and my parents didn't tell me for several days. But when they finally did, and I was able to call and offer condolences, and thankfully the services were after I came home. But as Laurel said, I would want to know about time sensitive home issues that need immediate attention. And if there was an unexpected illness and there was an opportunity to come home to say a final goodbye, I would. This is one of many reasons I buy travel insurance.

I watched this situation unfold before me on a recent trip. I was seated next to a table with two couples in the main dining room on a cruise. One received a text part way through the meal and read it aloud to her companions (in a fairly loud voice). " Grandma has taken a turn for the worse and is in rapid decline. The doctors said I should let you know"

The dear woman sat there in shock for a few moments and then began to weep. Mind you, we were about to leave port at a fairly remote location and had 3 sea days ahead of us before we reached a place where she could disembark and head to her mother's side. Her companions tried to comfort her and my heart was silently breaking for her.

They texted back to her daughter for more information and determined that they could at least call the doctor by using call over wifi. They were a very somber group for the rest of the meal and then departed. I saw her around the ship several times in the next few days but didn't feel like I could intrude as a stranger and ask about her mother.

It did make me think, what would I want to know. I think that I would want to know whether I could "get there" or not because I could still be praying for the individual and I know that God is able to do wondrous things.

One thing to consider, unless you do some type of "technology blackout", social media may play a role. You can either get a personal call, or see a post by someone on Facebook...or be the one posting about your fabulous trip, while others are suffering.

If you are the type of person who uses social media or calls their mother every day, or posts and receives post of selfies of you eating your favorite pastry, with pictures, then you are the type who will definitely be informed of any emergency.
It will not be a question of whether or not you want contacts to send you anything while you are traveling. You WILL get those notices. And, it will cause anxiety, and it will impose upon your vacation.
So it is an impossible question as stated. In fact, there is no question at all.

It's really better to deal with the relations of older loved ones before the trip. If you have concerns about older loved ones, see them before the trip. If they are in extremis, your ability to affect the situation is minimal. Be in the good place with them before the trip, and then you can continue your trip with a settled mind.

I guess to get closer to the original question, I would rather have someone call and err to the safe side, than not call. Further, to instruct people not to call, smacks of "plausible deniability". Putting the decision, and the agony that may go with it, as to whether to call or not, may salvage a vacation on your end, but the decision of what to do...cut short or stay...should always rest on your shoulders, not others. Relying on "not knowing" seems like a cheap out.

In this day and age when we have access to technology where we can communicate during a trip, I want to know. I use the present tense because it’s a question we had to ask ourselves when our parents were still alive and we’ve also had two trips where we’ve received distressing news during a trip. Does it impact a trip? Yes. Is that life? Another yes.

We’d leave a trip if it was a child or grandchild emergency. Otherwise, we’ll share the burden or make needed phone calls along the way. In one case, the family decided to wait to notify us and I felt badly that they were having to decide whether to make a call in addition to dealing with the situation.

I also just had an emergency call regarding an elderly parent on the 2nd night of a 3-week trip. I believe it helped my sibling to share the news of the unexpected hospitalization and lessened the sense of sole responsibility. As events unfolded, it was clear that circumstance could be managed from afar and that the physical presence of neither of us was needed. Even though barely coherent with sleep interrupted in the middle of my night and shocking news, in the end, I was glad to be contacted.

Of course I want to know if something is amiss with my home, or with family or close friends. Pretending the rest of the world doesn't exist because it might put a damper on my vacation? I can't imagine such a thing. There may or may not be anything I can do about the situation; but I still want to know. Ignorance is not bliss. I don't want to be that person who posts or emails about the wonderful sights we are seeing while back home my loved ones are experiencing anxiety or, worse, mourning.

I think if there ar e decisions to be made then obviously you should be informed. As you need to make said desisions. But in my case I have a pretty compitent “crew” at home. My Brother and Cousin can make the call on if i need yo know something for the most part especialoy for Family. And i have a Friend who is in my house at least every other day because his daughter looks after my cats (food, and kittly litter)
I recently added a camera that will capture the cats when they head yo there kittly litter and food so even if they hide from the pet sitters I will know they are both alive and eating.
In my case I dont have any older relatives. The closest I get is my Aunts best friend (my Aunt is long passed) and my Buddys mom. But my Buddies mom is going with us so…

I agree if it is a close family member and sometging significant happens and you can get home in time or you can talk to them on the phone or you are part of the desision making prosess then you need to on know.

On the other hand I have bern part of a trip that got bad. knews and could do nothing about it as there was nothing for us to do. We were just informed of the situation. And ultimatly knowing 10 days sooner did absolotly NOTHING for us. Coming home would not have helped, no one to talk with on the phone, and we were not part of the desision process. Being Kind i suppose it helped my relative in that they “shared” the information. But it did nothing for us and we could do nothing for them but worry about the out come. All the knowledge of the situation did was put us in a bad(sad mood. Ultimatly we cut the tip short and returned more then a week early. So much like the story about the lady on the Cruise Ship. Unless she was part of the team involved in desisions or advice all the knowledge did was make her misserable.

So obviously it is very much a person by person and Situation by situation call and has way to mant variables.

But it seams based on at least aome folks replies that I am probably mot a heartless idiot. (or a few of us on here are.).

I do a lot of outdoor trips into the wilderness, and I have always wondered what it would be like to have a ranger seek me out on the trail or a backcountry camp and tell me serious news. I have never had something grave happen while on a vacation trip, but it is often at the back of my mind as far as what would I do? I would certainly want to know if something was happening with a relative or pet, though how much I would be able to do from my location would be the question--a life/death/care decision made from afar? communicating with the relatives who are impacted? letting other people know what happened? contacting the proper agencies/offices (I suppose in the case of a house burning)? Whenever I get on a plane this dual feeling often comes over me--glad that I am getting away and putting my hometown and my concerns/worries/stresses behind me, but also a certain level of concern about if anything is going to happen while I am gone.

As someone who stays connected to home and work while away, I'm comfortable knowing everything and it relieves my stress level to know that all is under control. I'm definitely not one for unplugging.

Stress was the highest in 2018 when about 6 weeks before our trip to London we learned that my dog had cancer. She had surgery about 2 weeks later but while we were gone, my 20 year old daughter thought something wasn't right and contacted me. It was the right thing to do as she was alone at home and had no experience dealing with these situations. We were able to work through it and with the help a a close friend we held a couple of video meetings with the vet via WhatsApp. I don't think it would have been fair to put my daughter through that stress by herself and I'm glad she called. It created a lot of stress on both sides of the Atlantic, but I don't regret that I didn't unplug, and still don't from real life.