What makes you tear your hair out?

You don't see it regularly but there's the: "please critique my itinerary", then they post their final itinerary which ignores every bit of advice they were given. Gets to me every time.

Good one, Nancy. How about--"Please help me find a hotel in Paris. I am on a budget," but never mentions what the budget is.

In answer to the question "why are you going if you don't know what to do or see," is simple. The poster hasn't a clue nor do they wish to do research. Sadly and THIS is my pet peeve I feel many who ask questions on the Helpline view it as Cliffnotes. A short cut and if it isn't on Wikipedia then panic prevails. The lack of thanks also puts me off but that's the lack of civility that permeates our society these days. No manners.

'I shall be arriving at Heathrow, how do I get to X cheapest / easiest'. No mention of which terminal, what time, or what day.

Variation: 'I will be arriving at Heathrow, how do I best get to my unnamed hotel in X part of London', when X is a large district 1 mile across with hundreds of hotels in it.

Doesn't stop me trying to be helpful though ....

Agree with you Marco, we all still keep trying to be helpful.

As a side note: sometimes a poster won't post thanks in the thread but will PM someone with thanks if they were particularly helpful. I have had people PM thank yous to me.

A few questions here annoy me slightly; but not make me tear my hair out. The biggie would be those who've not looked at a map of Europe or who clearly think the entire continent is the size of Iowa: "I want to do 8 countries in 10 days: Iceland, Spain, Italy, Turkey, Estonia, Czech Republic, Switzerland, Holland, Croatia and Ireland. What's the best order to see them in and what should I see in each?"

I actually find such questions more funny than annoying. What annoys me are the questions I get outside of this website (mostly at my office) about "scary" Europe travel:
"Aren't you scared to go to Europe"
"Aren't you scared to travel on an airplane all that way alone." (I often fly to Europe alone and meet up with my travel mates who are flying in from other parts of the US. This question from a co-worker killed me though, because I fly alone often for work on domestic airlines.)
"How can you travel without a guide/tour group"
"What if no one speaks English."
"But, what do you eat in Europe?" "Do they have real food there?" (Real food---still not sure what they mean by this.)
Co-worker: "How can you pack so light--what if you forget something" Me--If I forget something like my toothbrush, I can just buy one. If I decide I really need another sweater; I'll buy one. Co-worker: "You can just go into a store and buy that...all by yourself?"

I have a few pet peeves, but my biggest probably has to do with posters who just think they have "all" the answers and absolutely infallible knowledge. While I have gotten helpful info on this board many times and I have tried to give a bit at times, I realize it is almost all opinion. I suppose what goes with that is a condescending way some posters phrase their answers. I'm not saying you have to include IMHO before every sentence, but I have read some advice here from some of the "experts" which, IMHO, was just plain stupid.

"Where to go in Austria, Switzerland, or Germany for the scenery and hiking with stunning views", but don't say what time of year they are going.
Always the classic: "We are going for our first trip to Europe and want to go to 8 countries in 10 days. Do you think we have time to fit in a day in Croatia?" or some such nonsense. Or, my favorite: "We are going to Spain, Italy, France, Switzerland, and Germany for _ days. What are the must do's and sights that are not to be missed?"
Yes, people who do not do their homework, or worse yet, do not heed advice when given for an overblown itinerary, can be very annoying.

Joan,

You may want to rethink your existence on this message board if posters are causing you to tear your hair out.

It's irksome when someone makes a pointed disagreement with an earlier poster's suggestion, then offers an explanation that either has nothing to do with the supposedly disagreeable suggestion, or actually supports the suggestion, rather than supporting an opposing suggestion. Maybe some people just have to argue, without actually reading the previous post.

Then again, some people post to simply agree with someone else's comments, without offering anything new. Maybe just adding to their posting badge score? ;-)

For me, I consider this forum as steps 6-8 in the 10-step planning process. By now, I have done l the research, have a pretty good idea of my daily itinerary, know the hotels I want, etc., and just need some first hand help with polishing things up, asking for folks actual experience to problem solve or need something very specific answered. Others may have a different idea of how to utilize this website, which may lead to the questions that show outrageous itineraries or "what do I do in Germany for 10-days?" or something so basic that simple research in steps 0-5 would answer rather easily (or just Google!). Cannot be annoyed by that because everyone has different ideas of how they would like help, but I do worry for those folks once they land because I get a sense that they'll continue to be a little clueless (we're all clueless to a certain extent, but I worry they are closer to the lower end of the spectrum).

However, you are here because you want to help, and I find almost all folks on this forum very helpful with all questions. I enjoy reading it (and occasionally posting).

I think I asked what makes you tear your hair out--didn't say I was tearing mine out.
Great replies, interesting points of view.

Good point Claudia, about Cliff Notes. Many want an instant plan, instant answers, without "paying" by either doing the work (read the books, research) or going on a RS tour. One way or another one the time in has to pay: money for a tour, inconvenience and missed opportunities from lack of planning, or put the time in as a planner.

I get a little annoyed when someone says they haven't had time to plan, waited too long, are going last minute. And this happens with friends and acquaintance outside the helpline as well. They show up with no idea about what they want to do or how long it will take. As a planner to the nnnth degree, I know I might take it to extreme, but to not even buy a guidebook (or borrow one from the library) is unbelievable to me.

Hello all

I'm pretty new to this forum as a poster, but in the short time I've already tried to offer some opinions, I'm often struck by the differences in distance judgement that reveal themselves when a US originator asks 'can I travel from X to Y to Z' in two days and still see XY and Z?' And hen one of us generally tries to manage their expectation down!

It's not a criticism as such, more a dawning understanding on my part that the distances US citizens are used to travelling at home to see something are generally way in excess of what most Europeans would expect to do in a day, especially if sight-seeing and wanting to take time to absorb what they are looking at. It's part of what makes it so interesting, trying to see how others perceptions and expectations differ from our own.

I don't get the people who can't seem to do the research on their own. First thing I do when considering a place to visit is google it and start with that city's website (Vienna Now or Never has been helpful, etc) to get an idea of what is important to see. The I visit the websites for each place to find out what's what, with a map of the city open for reference. While it's helpful to get a recommendation for things I may miss otherwise from such a pool of travellers as on this Forum, I love the research and planning almost as much as the trip itself.

We will take the 5th on this one!

Well played, Rosie. Well played.

I am convinced that many people have no access to google! I am not sure how that happens because I have no problem getting it. Maybe some peoples internet providers block it? I find many questions can be answered by a simple google search.

The what is the best thing to do or see in Italy? That one kills me - my best & your best may be two totally different things!

All in all this is a wonderful board frequented by helpful, knowledgeable folks - even the silly questions get answered.

I dont even bother to read posts asking "What do I wear?" and "What do I pack?". Use common sense, people! What do you wear at home for whatever weather you are likely to encounter? If you dont have the "right" shoes, or pants, or whatever, are you really going to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe just for 2 weeks travel? Not me.

If I think the question is not well thought-out... I don't answer it, and move onto the next. Why should I care?

Well, maybe the overuse of the words "authentic", "local" and "culture" get me everytime...

People who ask what the weather will be like in a particular city months in advance, and expect to get a precise answer. Maybe there are places in the world that have weather that predictable, but there aren't many in Europe.

When someone asks a question that, quite literally, 5 seconds on Google would answer. I often look things up for people like this but... really???

I am with Tom on this issue.
.

If I think the question is dumb or I react negatively to a question, I just skip it and move on. No one said you had to respond to every question.
.

But I also check to see if my travel questions had all ready been asked and answered before I post questions. Its why I have a low post count because 99% of the time my question has all ready been posted/answered.

I think that sometimes when someone asks an exceedingly simple to answer question, they are dipping their toes in the water, and they want to believe that this travel thing is easier than they imagine. To indulge them with an answer in a neutral fashion, and then add something important or just interesting that they had not considered, is to support what everyone is here to support. It's one of those unconditional things that one puts out there in hopes it will help someone, at some time. To expect thanks or to be the least bit offended at a lack of acknowledgement from the OP, is imho to expect too much. I certainly wonder about the OP at those times, but my pet peeve is when people gripe about not getting thanked. I agree that it's sometimes best to just skip it, too.

I don't think this is a very nice topic to be honest.

Many new people post questions like these, and they are going to see the post and not feel very welcome.

Not everyone is travel savvy, so I believe we either answer their questions, or if they're going to make you tear your hair out, simply ignore.

Sometimes taking a break from helping could be a good thing. Gives one time to refresh and come back willing to give, but not with any anticipation of receiving thanks. I don't think being thanked is why one should help in the first place.

This is not a pet peeve. Simply my observation of the topic and what new members will think of the criticism, or peeve or whatever you want to call it.

Ginger.

I agree with Ginger that this topic is a bit negative. What I don't understand is why so many who responded to this topic are irritated with people who seemingly "don't do their homework" prior to posting a question....maybe they consider asking a question on this forum as part of "their homework". It's not done to annoy anyone, it's just part of their process of researching for their trip.

Have to agree with Ginger. No one is asking you to respond and certainly not if you are annoyed. Many people who ask questions here might think of this as 'doing their homework'. After all this is supposedly a group of savvy helpful tourists sharing their experiences.

I don't ever remember being annoyed by a question. It's usually those condescending remarks that bug me.

Thank you Terry Kathryn.

Does work count?

While they don't make me want to "tear my hair out", I agree with many of the points raised in this Thread. I try to use the same method as Tom and ignore the more frivolous questions.

Thanks, Dave and Ginger. I have to admit that my tear-my-hair-out moments are usually mistakes I make, like trying to make six train/bus connections in one day, or trying to get to Todi from Orvieto by bus on a Sunday. And I know how to travel! So, if I can make these assumptions about what is possible or practical, who am I to criticize an uninformed traveler for asking a question here?

My pet peeve on this board is the authoritative response, often unsolicited, like, "There's nothing in the Accademia Museum besides the David", or, "See the copy instead." Good grief!

Some people do come here too early with no prior research ... but others come here too late, with say half their travel already fixed and are attempting to shoehorn an itinerary which might have been a lot easier on them for example if only they hadn't already booked their flights in a particular order, or on a different method of transport. So it can cut both ways. The other thing that can be difficult is when the poster wants to keep too much about their plans a secret, as if posting here could really endanger them. Just means they can get bad advice unfortunately.

None of this really makes me tear my hair out - not got much left anyway.

There are several people who give condescending responses to what they consider "not well thought out questions", and that's really uncalled for.

If it seems too silly, not well worded, basic, or whatever you feel at the time...move on? Don't answer?

Because some have been here for a long time and know more, ought not to make them feel superior.

It's a help line...so help!! I don't even think Rick would act that way. Or I might be wrong.

My hair tearing episodes are more due to the mistakes I make!!! Like buying the wrong Bayern ticket, or forgetting all that info I had meant to print and carry.
Then I want to shave my head!!

Let us help those who know less, and if they don't thank us, I say then that "no news might be good news."

Now I see why people were excited when I returned and said thanks, lol

What makes me frustrated is when someone comes here and asks, "I have 2 weeks to spend in Europe. Where should I go?" with no comments at all about the types of things they enjoy. When we reply and ask, "Please give us some more information so we can make some useful suggestions", there is no answer.

There is a thread currently going on, just like this.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/general-europe/general-europe-b3e411aa-a384-4f3d-9bc0-57c0c0964ba2

Six people have tried (in vain) to pry more information out of the OP; but no, it's all a big secret whether he enjoys art museums, architecture, hiking, beaches, or whatever. Please give us some more information! We're not mind-readers; we can't know what sort of things you'd like to see on your trip if you don't give us some clues.

I just think there is a difference between a "help line" and a "do it all for me line" - I think the latter is what frustrates most.

Joan wrote: "One kind of question, however, drives me nuts; e.g. " I will be spending the Christmas holidays in Munich, what should I do and see?" Why are you going if you don't know what to do or see?"

One valid reason I can think of for this, is that they are already committed to spend a week somewhere for the holidays with relatives or friends, and the sightseeing is an afterthought. That, of course, I understand.

Mea culpa !! I did indeed post earlier this year about what to do in Salzburg over Christmas -- perhaps I didn't make clear that I was looking for special events that only take place at that time (besides the Christmas markets), NOT "what to do in Salzburg." Although I believe my post did mention that we had been there before at another season.
So thanks to all who answered... and my apologies to those who were annoyed by the question.

@LauraB your question was clear and specific - no one should have had an issue with it. It is the vague, open-ended, demanding, or poorly thought out questions that I think people object to.

I look at this forum as like a cocktail party, with all sorts of conversations going on. You can choose to join in, or walk away, eyes rolling, from the uninteresting ones.

Questions that ramble and are in fact multiple questions which should be asked in multiple threads or ones that need some editing before being posted.

Seriously folks. If you get annoyed or object to how someone asked a question, ignore it. Plenty of other fish in the sea. This is not a job. Some people post a question and probably forget where they posted...who knows what happened.

Life is too short to pull your hair out over questions not properly asked, or books not read before asking, or whatever the quibble is.

I've asked questions here, but I still read up about your feedback on TA, though I don't ask questions there. Might need to get an account.

To me it's pretty simple. If you don't like the question...don't answer it. It's not worth pulling your hair out. As I am reading the replies to this post I am thinking if I were brand new to the helpline, I might feel a little intimidated about asking a question. I have asked a needed question in the past and got a rude/condescending reply. It was crushing. It's always better to answer politely or not at all.

I didn't want to resurrect this thread, but I saw this quote in The Economist and found it the perfect rejoinder to the common question of "What is the cheapest, fastest, best way to get from A to B?"

"Fast, cheap and good... pick two. If it's fast, and cheap, it won't be good. If it's cheap and good, it won't be fast. If it's fast and good, it won't be cheap."

I agree with the others that it's not so much the questions being asked that are irritating, it's some of the extremely condescending answers. Such as: "I hated such and such city. Do not waste your time because it's so awful." Or: "Why are you in Europe if you want to watch American sports on TV??? You can do that at home!"
Not helpful.

If people would read questions and answers -- especially answers -- closely and think before responding, there would be more hairy people on these forums. Too often, people will take a phrase or sentence out of context and attack the previous poster for saying what he never said or intended. This applies as much to facts as to opinions. I can recall cases where people dash off a harshly worded "correction" of actually correct information, where the hair-tearing poster either read halfway through a post or failed to recognize that there is more than one way to do things.

What makes me want to tear my hair out? Topics like this one. What a negative way to greet people to a forum.

Many of you complain that people who ask questions about what to see, aren't doing their homework. Maybe they are looking for something to do outside of what's listed in a tour book. We all discover something special that isn't found in a book that we love telling our friends and family about, so why can't you tell someone who is asking a simple question. Instead of seeing the glass half empty with these sorts of posts, look at it half full.

If someone wants to know something to do or see while in Florence , my suggestion is to seek out the Ukrainian girl who sings opera while her boyfriend (or husband) plays his accordion, they usually are in the Piazza della Repubblica. You won't find that in any tour book.

Keep it fun!

This is a courtesy bump to ameliorate an issue I caused in the forum. Please ignore this post.

Well said, Amanda :)

Being a new user of this site, I have found the info on "what to do" interesting because much of the info is of the type you won't get in book. The info on Row Venice has not been in any book of program I have seen. Some of us are not fond of Googling everything since what one gets can often be taken with a grain of salt. Do I know if the web sites are "pushing" some itinerary based on a possible kickback? By the way, I did not have high speed internet until this past winter. Not available (and I still have no cable access-no great loss). Those of you who have traveled extensively might be forgetting what it was like on your first or second trip. EVERYONE has tried to cram too much into too little time. My 2cents.