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What is your comfort zone?

It’s too bad, but it was bound to happen when Mr. E’s post about boycotts for political purposes got locked by the moderator. It may be my favourite thread of the month with so many thought provoking opinions. I was trying to respond to the following comment by Jane from Oklahoma when I discovered the thread was locked.

Traveling to places that are outside of our comfort zone can be richly
rewarding to both the traveler, and anyone with whom that traveler
interacts.

It made me wonder what my threshold is for getting out of my comfort zone. I’m far from the extreme-adventurous type that would eat eyeballs or hike through an Amazon jungle. I’m not even sure if I would have been as brave as Jane was to venture to Poland at a young age. If I’m being honest, I crave familiarity and that starts with language. I felt at home in England and Scotland last year, but I’m already working myself up over my upcoming trip top Sorrento in Italy. A different language and a laid-back lifestyle is frustrating me and makes me nervous as I try to book things, including hotels. I know the reward will be worth it-as it always is, but simple things like that can be a barrier and it requires a lot of preplanning so I’ll be comfortable once I’m there.

I’m curious, could you throw a dart at a map and just go? What built-in restrictions do you have that may inhibit you from your version of more adventuresome travel?

Posted by
755 posts

Definitely not fear of a language barrier since English is widely spoken, but when you say adventuresome that makes me think physical and that makes me think of pain and fatigue, although I do like to hike and bike and that kind of thing just nothing too strenuous.

Posted by
5493 posts

My age and physical limitations are about the only thing that holds me back from anything that is adventurous in the sense that it might require physical endurance. This is why an African safari had to be struck off my bucket list. And since I don't have a death wish, I won't travel to a war zone or a place currently experiencing violent civil unrest. So Macchu Picchu is similarly off my list. I don't tolerate cold, so Antarctica is a no go. I think the first step is knowing your practical limitations.

But the more I travel, the more I find that I'm not intimidated or nervous about visiting places that have vastly different cultures (and languages) than mine. You learn how to appreciate the former and cope with the latter. Sometimes a tour can be a safe alternative to DIY for those who feel intimidated. So far I've been to 5 continents and had a ball. Africa is next, with a visit to Egypt.

Posted by
4894 posts

I am beginning to see that for me, adventuresome travel comes step by step. One step past my comfort zone - and then I want another. But I don’t feel comfortable with cliff jumping into unknown depths all at once.

First it was just solo travel. Then it was longer travel. Then it was longer travel without assurance of language. This spring is Albania, with even more unknowns. And I’ll let you know where the adventure is after that (provided I make it back lol!)

Talking about the uncertainty of schedules, I just had a reply last night from my hotel host on Corfu responding about busses - “well, they leave near the harbor, just ask. And they mostly run on schedule but not always. And sometimes the schedule changes. We’re the last stop. But it’s all ok.” A couple of years ago, that would have terrified me. Maybe adventure to me means dealing with the unknown - going anyway when it’s not all knowable. I am afraid it may be habit-forming.

Posted by
5471 posts

It used to be that I could throw a dart anywhere in Western Europe and go solo. I had some nerves the first time I lifted the curtain to a solo trip in Central Europe. Once having done so, I realized that I could throw the darts there too. Turkey gave me pause until my first visit, and now I'd easily go back solo.

My Mom's answer to the question: if I'm going on a Rick Steves tour, then she doesn't worry.

Posted by
2556 posts

@CJean Safaris in Africa are not strenuous. The most strenuous part is climbing into the safari vehicle and that is not strenuous at all. Not much different than climbing into a pickup truck. You sit in a safari vehicle and drive around to see the animals. Easy.

Posted by
8159 posts

I don't mind countries where the language is different and I don't mind inconveniences and enjoy cultural differences. I've traveled as a solo female most of my life to places like Turkey, Japan, Greece and the rest of the Europe.

The only reason I would not travel to a country, even if I wanted to visit, would be if my personal safety was involved. That's my comfort zone. For example, before Myanmar became off limits, I really wanted to travel there. But when I found out what a traveler had to do to get there, I backed out. At least one section involved a harrowing ride in a local airplane. No thanks.

And the same with travels to certain middle eastern countries, the Amazon jungle, much of Africa, areas of Latin America, Syria and so on. For me it's always about personal safety.

Posted by
1610 posts

I would say my comfort zone is far different from most of the folks on this board. I grew up in a place where your safety was never guaranteed and hence I think I'm a little more adventurous that most folks. I realized a long time ago that 100% safety is never given and that there are risks in anything you do. With all our travels, I have found that most of the world is a very safe place and almost more so when you travel with children. I was lucky enough to work in consulting which required a lot of travel but also brought the perks of frequent flyer miles and hotel points. This has enabled me to take my kids to over 100 countries and since i like to hike and backpack, I am able to rough it when needed. What amazes me is my wife who goes along and doesn't complain even when things don't go according to plan.
My next adventure is to Algeria to see some of the finest Roman ruins around. In fact just got a call from the Algerian embassy this afternoon wanting to understand what I was going to be doing there (they just got my passport and the request for a visa). And in summer I'm going to be exploring Bolivia including the Salar de Uyuni, taking in Iguacu falls, before finishing up in Paraguay. My only regrets are that i don't have more time to spend exploring further. Looking forward to the day I can retire and then will have more time to focus on travel, hiking and bird watching.

As noted by a few other posters, the more you travel, the more experience you get and the more comfortable one gets with the unknowns. This enables one to control one's fears and push outside their comfort zones.

CJean - an african safari is the polar opposite of doing something strenuous though you have to be able to endure the rough African backroads. As noted, most of your time is spent just sitting in a van or standing to peer at the animals around you. If you love animals and wildlife, this is an adventure of a lifetime and not to be missed if you can afford it.

Posted by
20467 posts

Yes, unfortunate Allen, I was getting some new perspectives, but ..................

I really haven't had many comfort zone issues that I could not overcome.

I did Albania a few years ago, that would make a few nervous, but I got past it by hiring a full time guide/escort (very inexpensive) and I am glad I did because I saw thing and experienced things that will never be published in a book.

Some might have noticed me looking for travel companions for a trip to Kyiv in the Spring; I wouldn't do it without a guide/escort but with, I am comfortable (looks like we have enough interest where the trip will go forward).

I've been all over Eastern Europe and I guess those are the only two sort of "iffy" where some precautions are necessary for real peace.

I love Istanbul and I go with no guide, but with a lot of respect for culture and tradition and behave myself and with that I am comfortable; but I know someday I will fall in love there and then i will cross the comfort line.

Posted by
1072 posts

My 72 year old husband's travel adage for Europe is that "there's nothing a credit card can't fix". And he has been right when we have turned up at hotels and somehow our reservation is missing, or we have chosen terrible hotels online and need to leave early, or we have had to extend our stay due to illness.

We enjoy getting lost and not being able to speak the language. But we are cautious about where we get lost and at what time of day. We are both comfortable walking in circles in small towns during daylight hours, but like to know where we are after dark.

One of our favourite countries is Czechia because we have no chance of being able to understand the language or read the street signs. We have been there three times now and have been delightfully lost on several occasions. You stumble on wonderful things when you let yourself just get to a corner and say "which way".

Posted by
415 posts

I think I could go to most any country where it's safe. Now that we have GPS navigation in our pockets and easy internet access traveling has never been easier. Not to mention the propagation of the english language AND the ubiquity of translation by smartphone.

Posted by
415 posts

Some might have noticed me looking for travel companions for a trip to Kyiv in the Spring

Spring might be a bad time to go. Both sides are expected to launch offensives

Posted by
7054 posts

There is no country in Europe that is not at war that is remotely out of my comfort zone (for obvious reasons, I would not go to Ukraine (right now) or Russia or Belarus). I don't know enough about some off-the-beaten path places in the world to say whether I would have major reservations that I could not overcome but, in general, my comfort zone is pretty wide and it takes a lot to get me rattled. I rarely assume that some place is "unsafe" unless I have evidence otherwise. I also recognize that being uncomfortable at times is a part of travel (anywhere) and cannot and should not be avoided at all costs.

My comfort zone has more to do with extremes, like extreme weather or physical conditions required to do high altitude trekking or camping. In other words, mostly potential "life or death" situations (but also extremely tight physical spaces that are clausterphobic).

I wouldn't drive in the center of Palermo or Naples even though I can drive a manual because, again, that's one of those potential "life or death/ injury" situations which is much more likely than any safety fear. Driving up Mount Evans Road outside of Denver to 14k elevation was a white knuckle experience I don't think I would repeat, as glorious as the views were.

On a more mundane level, not wearing seat belts in a cab is out of my comfort zone. I've been in cabs in some countries where the seat belts don't work or are missing and it really makes me feel like I'm taking a really dumb risk by not getting out. Even if the belts are ramshackle, I always do my best and I tell my travel partner to do the same. I think a lot of people, for some weird reason, don't buckle up in cabs thinking that there's no chance they can sustain a serious injury or worse.

Posted by
1321 posts

I was just having this conversation with friends ... I mentioned I would like to take a cruise to Japan. A Cruise????? I said Japan was out of my comfort zone and a cruise sounded like a good way to ease into a culture I know nothing about. They thought I was crazy but I'm ok with that.

Posted by
7168 posts

My comfort zone would be anyplace that is not actively engaged in war, doesn't have a suppresive regime in control, feels very safe for a senior woman traveling alone, and isn't terribly difficult to get to and navigate around. That probably leaves out a lot of places that may be wonderful to visit and it may narrow my options for experiencing a totally different culture but, at my age, personal safety is number one.

Posted by
5493 posts

@ Arnold- ...

though you have to be able to endure the rough African backroads

This is precisely why I said you have to know your own limitations. I have a chronic back condition that would land me in bed for a week after a day of bumpy back roads. Otherwise I would love nothing more than to take a safari.

.

Posted by
49 posts

I have been to Afghanistan and Eastern Ukraine professionally, so I suppose I have a pretty high tolerance for dodgy places. That said, I was very well protected in both of those places in ways that would be prohibitively expensive as a tourist.

That said, there is nowhere in Europe I wouldn't currently go on my own except for Russia and Belarus. Most of central Asia seems manageable, as do large parts of Central and South America (excepting Nicaragua and maybe Brazil - would need to research other places to be sure).

I guess I will go just about anywhere that is not currently on my country's "don't go there" list, and I would love to go to, for example, Syria, if conditions ever normalize there.

Posted by
7168 posts

For the people who say they can throw a dart at a map - do you have a particular area of the globe you throw that dart at? Or is anyplace fair game? What if you dart lands in Russia, or North Korea, or Ukraine, or Belarus, or Somalia, or Peru, etc etc etc. I'm just asking is there a limited area that you throw the dart at?

Posted by
1105 posts

It is all context. Almost everyone here would laugh at someone who’s comfort level was such that they never would go anywhere outside the US at all, and maybe not even out of their town. You would think it crazy to think like that.
So when someone’s comfort level is such that the excuse seems so trite, it is because you have a different comfort zone.
And yet, everyone has come from the same basic zone. Born in a town. From there it is always another level beyond. We advance, or not, from there. And, comfort in this instance has nothing to do with comfortable, as in having niceness of dining, transport, and hotel. I am sure there are ice fisherman who sit in freezing temps in a hut on a lake, hunters who slog and spend time in rough county, hikers who sleep on the ground, who will never entertain the thought of even something so simple as going to Europe. Out of the comfort zone there.
And the throw the dart thing and it lands in Russia. Well, then I am back to ethics. Which is not exactly the same as comfort.
A lot goes on in the human mind. The OP seems to have met a transition of comfort in maybe going to a non English speaking country. Many require the comfort of a group, the certainly of a cruise. So we all meet our match and that is usually where we stop. And the older we get the more of a stop it becomes, and stays.
To address the posted question. My comfort zone is linked to cost. That is a psychological barrier I need to contend with.

Posted by
4625 posts

One step past my comfort zone - and then I want another.

That's also the way I look at it. I've rarely been anywhere where it didn't end up being my favourite trip ever and I couldn't wait to go back. I mentioned that I crave familiarity, and so booking something new creates automatic comfort zone issues before I get there. The latest is the travel from FCO to Sorrento. My cheapness says there is no way I'm paying €600 for a private transfer, but 3 trains? I know I'll power through it because I have to, but it's this lack of what to expect is what gets me out of my comfort zone.

Posted by
7054 posts

My cheapness says there is no way I'm paying €600 for a private
transfer, but 3 trains?

If there is any way you can fly into Naples Airport instead, there is a direct bus shuttle to Sorrento from there (https://www.curreriviaggi.it/en/). I wouldn't pay 600 EUR either.

Posted by
15020 posts

Being in a non-English speaking country in Europe basically does not pose any threats to my comfort zone. I subscribe to the belief I am safer over there on daily basis as a solo visitor/traveler than I am here in terms of getting jacked in the streets American style. I started going to Europe as a solo traveler at 21 over 50 years ago, so that poses no emotional or safety concerns as I am used to it.

On language as English is the lingua franca, that helps, but being comfortable in German and at least "functional" in French, more reading than speaking, there is no real concern on that issue. I am aware of my linguistic deficiencies and shortcomings as well as the advantages.

On the safety issue, obviously I can't go to the Ukraine now. The place I really would like to see is Lviv (or what's left of it)) , only when the war is over. No matter their losses piling up, I don't expect the Russians to quit, given the patterns in their war history evident since the 18th century.

Posted by
9261 posts

Yes, I would do this.

Went to Belfast in the 90’s when city hall it was surrounded by barbed wire. Drove from Dublin and saw armed British soldiers in a field as I left Eire and crossed the border.

Went to Havana solo. LOVED IT!

Went to Istanbul on the RS 7 day tour. LOVED IT!

Went to NYC the Christmas after 9/11.

Drove solo around Ireland and Northern Ireland twice.

Hiked and drove over the Gap of Dunloe.

Was in London during the 2018 Paris bombing.

Thought they might cancel the Lord Mayors Show and asked a bobbie why it wasn’t cancelled.

“ Luv we have been on high alert in London since the 2005 bus bombings. “

Still on wish list Alaska, Egypt, Africa, Bulgaria, Finland, Iceland, and Chile among others.

Have a friend who left Tuesday for Antartica. He will have accomplished being on every continent by being there.

Posted by
9022 posts

My adventurous days are over. I have yet to see all the tame places I need to see, in the limited time I have left. And some of you are lucky that you have travel partners with which you have complete agreement on places and comfort levels. That's why my adventures were before marriage.

Posted by
1637 posts

"The only reason I would not travel to a country, even if I wanted to visit, would be if my personal safety was involved. That's my comfort zone. For example, before Myanmar became off limits, I really wanted to travel there. But when I found out what a traveler had to do to get there, I backed out. At least one section involved a harrowing ride in a local airplane. No thanks."

Mardee
You really missed out. My wife and I went on a Myanmar tour several years ago (before the Junta regained control) and it is still our trip of a life time.

Posted by
2809 posts

The first and only trip I’ve taken out of my comfort zone was southern Africa. Not coincidentally, it was my first group tour. I was so nervous about it, I had a hard time making myself sign up for the tour. Despite my fears and misgivings, I just did it. Then I alternated between being really excited and really nervous. Once I was there for a day or two, I was totally comfortable. Now I am dying to try another part of Africa. I’d still only do it with a group tour though.

Posted by
4625 posts

I really haven't had many comfort zone issues that I could not
overcome.

My comfort zone issues could be classified in the 'first world issues' category and are easily overcome once I'm there. I tend to play mind games with myself and then realize once I'm there, that it's no big deal. I have a friend who loved to say that experience is something you get 5 seconds after you need it. So true.

Posted by
1637 posts

My comfort zone is pretty wide, probably because our second trip overseas was the often-mentioned Poland trip that included so many crazy moments. But when I really think about your question, my comfort zone is wide because I travel with my husband. I've felt since our first ever trip that together we could figure out almost anything. Funnily enough though he is not adventurous and I have to convince him on most destinations. For example we were planning on Turkey last year (fell through), and he was very reticent and only agreed to please me. Nor is he the planner. I plan 100%, and he'd be lost if I didn't tell him what we were doing, how, when, etc. He knows nothing until I tell him. In Hong Kong I told him repeatedly "TWO STOPS ON THE SUBWAY THEN CHANGE!", and he promptly stayed on the train when I popped out. I looked back and he was gazing at the ceiling, oblivious. So even though I'm the person making things happen, having him around makes me adventurous.

I don't know how I'll do if/when the time came we weren't travelling together. Probably book more tours. So maybe I'm not adventurous at all!

To be fair he does all the driving abroad, and mostly enjoys it, particularly in UK and Ireland.

Posted by
1744 posts

CJean, the roads in Namibia are comparatively decent. It is one of the easiest places to travel, because

-The roads aren't terrible (but don't travel on them at night, because of the risk of hitting an animal).
-English is the official language, although it is not necessarily the most commonly spoken language. Nevertheless, signs, menus, and people in the tourism industry all use some English.
-The water is mostly safe to drink.
-Malaria is limited to a few areas, and is even less common in their winter (our summer).
-The government is pretty stable.

In answer to the OP...no, I couldn't just throw a dart at a map and go, but my comfort zone seems to be a lot larger than that of many posters in the "anti-bucket list" thread. For instance, Africa is a HUGE continent--much, much larger than the Mercator maps make it seem. There is no way I would completely rule out an entire continent (well, except maybe Antarctica). Now, having been to Namibia--probably one of the easiest and safest African countries in which to travel, there are others I am definitely interested in travelling to, especially Botswana and Uganda or Rwanda (the latter two to see mountain gorillas). Also, I know someone from Morocco, and she makes it sound so wonderful, I would like to visit there someday.

Some people in the other thread mentioned South America. Again, while there might be certain areas I'd steer clear of, it's a big continent with different countries on it. I've already been to Ecuador and Peru (although I wouldn't go to Peru right at the moment). I'd like to go to Colombia. My daughter-in-law is from there, and she and my son have travelled there many times--in fact, they just returned from a trip a week ago. They even lived there together for 6 months while my son did a semester at university there, and my d-i-l worked on her Master's thesis. Then there's Brazil. My cousin's daughter did a year abroad there, and it seems like a beautiful country.

My very first trip outside of North America--15 years ago now--was to Hong Kong, Macau, Tokyo, and Kamakura. Macau, Tokyo, and Kamakura had very little English, and DH and I didn't have smartphones or GPS at that time. Since that experience, I find navigating countries with Germanic or Latin-based languages very easy (especially as I know some French).

So, language, culture, distance, etc. are not deterrents for me, at all.

If I felt there was some likelihood that my personal safety was at risk, beyond the usual precautions against theft, problematic drinking water, etc. I might take, then that would be outside of my comfort zone. So, I wouldn't go to countries where war or riots were commonly happening, for example.

The other factor is literal comfort. I don't do camping. I will rule out staying in places where the accommodations would be very rustic or exposed to the elements. So, for instance, we didn't do the long hike to Machu Picchu. It wasn't the hiking; it was the idea of having to camp overnight that deterred me. So, my comfort zone involves a real bed, doors, and some access to running water.

Posted by
4625 posts

To be fair he does all the driving abroad, and mostly enjoys it,
particularly in UK and Ireland.

I was expecting 'driving' to be a popular topic on this thread. How many posts are there about people saying they aren't willing to drive, and absolutely, no way, would they drive in the UK on the left. The first, 2nd and 3rd time I did it, it certainly took me out of my comfort zone, but so worth it. It's probably a good thing that my comfort zone was challenged because it meant I was paying closer attention than I might at home. And driving is so worth it to get to places that would be more difficult using other methods.

Posted by
755 posts

Oh I’ve driven on the left many times, no big deal. I just don’t want to drive in Italy!

Posted by
20467 posts

Okay, I'll chime in on the driving. Did it once, in South Africa, where they also drive on the wrong side. Didn't work out too well for me or any of the cars I passed. Not on my list of desired repeat experiences.

Posted by
4297 posts

I have no threshold. The first time I went to Croatia, then Yugoslavia in 1977 to visit my boyfriend, now husband, I was 20 years old. I flew alone, having to change planes in Frankfurt. No cell phones, no credit cards, only spoke English. I managed. He took me to the small island of Vrnik to meet his grandparents. It was a 23 hour ferry ride to Korčula, no cabin, then a pickup in a rowboat to get there. No indoor bathroom, no shower, and no separate room for me. I had to sleep in the same bed with two of his aunts. We weren’t married yet. For 3 nights. The food was whatever his grandfather caught that morning as there were no stores on the island. For this Irish-American girl to see the octopus Nono caught that was to be our dinner, well, but I ate it. Thank goodness I liked it cause I knew I couldn’t insult them by spitting it into a napkin, lol. Comfort zone, don’t have one.

Posted by
4297 posts

On a separate answer, at the travel show today we stopped at a booth for the “Global Scavenger Hunt’.
The premise is you sign up for a 23 day trip around the world. They give you a packing list and an airport to meet at. Could be NY, Toronto, LA. They don’t tell give you a full itinerary, just the next destination as you go along. Interesting concept but not cheap, $14,000 pp. There is a prize awarded. We don’t watch the Amazing Race but that is what it reads like.
You can read their website for more details if interested. GlobalScavengerHunt.com.

Posted by
4625 posts

Oh I’ve driven on the left many times, no big deal. I just don’t want
to drive in Italy!

Before doing it, I thought driving on the left was going to be the difficult/stressful part. As it turns out, that was the easiest part. It was the narrow roads and unfamiliar signs that are the most challenging. So I suspect Italy may be more difficult for me than the UK.

Mexico was another challenging one and was my first experience of foreign driving- not including the US. Traffic rules? What traffic rules?😳

Posted by
755 posts

Yes, driving in France was the hardest for me because of the unfamiliar and incomprehensible road signs. Even though I had studied before I got there, it was still baffling.

Posted by
1637 posts

Whenever someone asks me about driving in Europe I say its ten minutes of sheer terror for a trip of freedom.

Posted by
4625 posts

If there is any way you can fly into Naples Airport instead, there is
a direct bus shuttle to Sorrento from there
(https://www.curreriviaggi.it/en/). I wouldn't pay 600 EUR either.

I'm sure there is, but I can fly to Rome direct from Calgary, plus I still have a lot of credit built up from cancelled flights during the pandemic that I needed to use up.

Posted by
4625 posts

How about direct flights over connections as part of your comfort zone? Somewhat less worrisome because it's one less flight that can go wrong. I was in Chicago last week and my flights were booked for me without my approval of the itinerary. Direct to Chicago on Tuesday, but a connection through Minneapolis on the way home Wednesday evening. Flights out of O'Hare never leave me with a comfortable feeling in the winter and now I'm 2 for 2 for unplanned extended stays on my last two trips there. I had a 1-hour connection in Minneapolis, but my flight from Chicago was going to be delayed and so I caught an earlier flight-but that was also delayed and then we sat on on the runway for over an hour and so I ended up staying in Minneapolis overnight and not getting a flight out until Thursday evening. On the plus-side, it gave me a chance to tour US Bank Stadium where the Vikings play. What a spectacular stadium. I love stadium tours.

Posted by
4894 posts

I think of connections more as being wise with my choices as opposed to being out of my comfort zone. Inconvenience is not the same as discomfort for me. I try to avoid inconvenience but be prepared for it. But earlier in my travels, I would have worried a lot more about delays, cancellations, etc.

Posted by
5493 posts

Direct flights over connecting ones? Oh hell yes; flying is where I totally want to be in my comfort zone. A direct flight is , for me, worth every penny over any extra cost compared to a connecting flight. Its just the PITA factor- I can afford to avoid it whenever possible, so I do.

Posted by
1321 posts

We live in a small town with a regional airport which means ALWAYS a connecting flight. My discomfort comes with layover time... I'm pretty comfortable with 2 hours even through CDG.

Posted by
2816 posts

Barbara-that is an amazing story!

No one has mentioned my comfort threshold--Latin alphabet. My husband and I were lost in Belgrade many years ago and could not read the map we had. Someone took pity on us and stopped and sent us in the right direction. I learned very quickly that not being able to match letters was anxiety producing. This was in the 80s and there was far less English spoken in Europe than now and I was comfortable figuring things out without knowing the language--as long as I could "read" the letters.