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What intimidates you about travel?

I just wrote a long blog post (elsewhere) about being intimidated by technology, and it occurs to me that similar issues undoubtedly come up around travel.

When you're traveling to a new country for the first time, what intimidates you? Or is it a particular type of destination, or activity that intimidates you? Then what do you do (if anything) to overcome feeling intimidated?

I'll start. Foreign menus intimidate me most. I imagine looking at a menu and not being able to understand what a single item is. (Even if I know the language there.) So what I do, before a trip I research the famous foods in that country and make notes in a little notebook I will keep in my purse of the dishes I want to try when I'm in that country. I also make notes of the words for important local ingredients that interest me.

What about you?

Posted by
2252 posts

Awwwwkkkkkk....flying in an airplane over which I have no control is the single most intimidating thing about traveling for me. Also, and related, making airport connections on time. I mostly do what you do, marcia- lots of note taking before I go so I at least feel like I'm somewhat prepared. Carry that darned notebook everywhere! I use google translate and ask questions of the server, when I don't understand a menu item. I use the words in whichever language I do know or facial expressions and lots of gestures. Having learned some 'functional' sign language for my teaching job a few years ago, has helped immeasurably. This will be an interesting post! Thanks.

Posted by
4539 posts

The thing that most "intimidates me" is thinking that I might find myself in a hurry and not able to figure out where to go or what to do to make a connection or catch a train. It happened once at CDG when, despite being able to understand a moderate amount of French, we were in a hurry and I couldn't figure out the signs for where to return our rental car. We arrived at the checkin gate just moments after the 45 minute deadline for baggage check-in. Two very expensive change fees later, we went home the next day.

If I'm renting a car, I familiarize myself with signs for renting/returning, etc. If I'm catching a train, I research the terms for platform/track/bin/gate or whatever.

And I try to allow sufficient time to "get a little lost" and absorb it as part of the travel experience, rather than letting it frazzle me or cause me to miss a connection.

Posted by
9403 posts

Public transportation intimidates me... 😬
Flying doesn’t intimidate me, it scares the **** out of me.
Everything else, i’m good!

Posted by
4526 posts

Arriving in the dark and public transport.
I arrived in the dark to Tanzania on my own after 20 hours of travel. Arranged taxi not there. No swahili, no tanz shillings, no cell phone. A minister helped make a call to no avail for the planned taxi, so he arranged a new taxi as his car was too full to include me. No streetlights, no sense of direction, an hour drive in a country where I knew no one. That was intimidating.
I bus at home, but not used to crowded subways or trains. I think it is the hustle of it, the variations of process and heightened need of awareness. I soon settle down, however.

Posted by
1900 posts

Getting lost.
I travel alone and that is by choice. I love and enjoy solitude although I am very friendly.
I take one cruise a year flying to the port city from where I sail. I spend three or four days in my port city before sailing.
I am nervous about finding my way from the airport to my hotel and in days to come, my hotel to the cruise port.
For this cruise, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone. I am flying to Copenhagen and then sailing the Baltic Seas.
Sometimes I think that I bit off a little more than I can chew.
It is a long flight. I know that I will be tired when I arrive in Copenhagen and then I have to find my way to my hotel. In four days, I am going to have to find my way from my hotel to the cruise port. Somewhat challenging but it will get done and I am going to have so many memories, stories and pictures.

Posted by
81 posts

Trains! They don’t intimidate me, but make me anxious. I’ve been to Europe 4 times and have had a train mishap every time! Wrong train, wrong stop, strike in the middle of the trip thus cancelled connections, even an earthquake! Headed to Europe in 2 weeks, I can feel the anxiety already...

Posted by
275 posts

Language barriers can be intimidating, but less so in Europe. I have only been to the bits of Europe which use the Latin alphabet, so I can at least pronounce written words if not understand them. I remember once seeing a German language menu in Berne in Switzerland, and the only word I understood was "spaghetti". I decided to be brave and pick one of the other options. It turned out to be meatloaf and it was excellent.

What is really intimidating is seeing a script I do not know, such as Thai or Korean. I learnt some Chinese as a child so I can pick out the odd word, but it still intimidates me. Chinese is useful not just in China, but also Japan and Taiwan, so I can pick up some of the easy stuff.

Posted by
901 posts

Susan said:

Public transportation intimidates me...

Flying doesn’t intimidate me, it scares the * out of me.

Ditto! I also tend to worry that I'll get cocky with my limited knowledge of the language and end up ordering something like calves' brains and creamed liver in a restaurant. :D

Posted by
2942 posts

Jet lag. I just don't sleep much at all on a plane and I pay for it. We arrived LHR 0640 and were walking in Hyde Park at 0900. That's a long day to fill up before bedtime at 2130 or so. I'm a runner but still found myself having to sit down on a park bench, where I would immediately start to nod off. The final walk to the apartment at 1600 we were wiped out. A short nap and shower provided enough energy to power through the evening. I had a pint of beer with dinner and it felt like a six-pack.

Getting lost or going in the wrong direction. Even when I'm 99 percent sure we're heading in the right direction, I'll ask someone nearby if we are indeed heading in the direction of Westminster, or wherever. On each trip there is at least one mishap in this area.

Posted by
3961 posts

I guess one thing for me is prioritizing what attractions I want to see in the time frame for each city or town. Another thing would be doing something I wouldn't do in my "ordinary life" but doing it anyway! Eg.: Swimming with the Stingrays in the Cayman Is., Ocean Kayaking in Kauai, Skyrail Rainforest Cableway- viewing the Rainforest, Kuranda to Cairns, Australia, Walking down the Passion Tower stairs at La Sagrada Familia, sailing on a 50 ft. sailboat in the Atlantic (12 foot swells). Just a few of my intimidating adventures!

Posted by
86 posts

Although my wife and I love to travel, I don't think of us as "travelers" which may seem strange. I say this because the majority of our trips are on cruises, so the majority of the work is already done for us.

However, next month, we are taking our first trip to Europe, spending 7 days in London and 8 in Paris. The French language is very intimidating to me, although I have mastered approximately 200 phrases so I can at least make a stab at it and the French will know I am trying. But the ability to converse freely is intimidating.

Flying into Heathrow is intimidating me a little because we have arranged for transfers from the airport to the hotel. The problem? They will wait one hour for us to clear customs and get our bags. After that time they are not obligated to stay and we would need to contact them or someone else and arrange for pickups. We SHOULD be through by that time, but what if.....?

The use of foreign currency, even though we plan to use it very sparingly and rely on our Travel Credit Card for purchases. But what if there is a glitch with that card? Or one of the others we could use?

However, I've done all I could to prepare a fun trip for my wife and our son (who is going ahead to photograph a wedding in Devon, UK and who will join us for the rest of the trip). I wish I knew how many videos I have watched, how many threads I have read, and I wish you could see the notebook I've prepared that has everything I can think of--Screen shots of hotels and places of interests we will visit, details on how to get to those again with screen shots, French phrases, two copies of every tour and play ticket and pdf's on my phone, e-mails, and even a chart showing sunrise and sunset times.

I'm ready to pack and get this trip going!

Posted by
2417 posts

I get a little overly concerned - paranoid? - about being fleeced by pricing aimed at tourists. I'm certain, or at least think that I'm certain, that if I wasn't in the historic center of a town where all the visitor-focused merchants are that everything would be much cheaper.

Is it worth the savings to get out of the zone?
Maybe not, but it may be worth it to get a sense of the contemporary place on its own terms, not catering to visitors/gawkers/rubes.

Posted by
469 posts

Like several of you said, I'm not keen on flying though after many trips, I am getting much better. I would have to say that what intimidates me the most is dining out alone at a nicer restaurant. I'm not comfortable doing it in the states and therefore, not doing it anywhere else. As I am mostly going it alone this year, that is my top goal for my trip to Italy in October.

Posted by
8257 posts

My answer to this changes as my experience changes.

It used to be that the most intimidating thing for me would be to travel solo without anyone to share the experience with or help out if things became complicated. I had always traveled with my husband my entire adult life. He passed away suddenly and I faced learning many new things, one of which was traveling on my own. It took me 5 years of traveling with my sister and with one RS tour to come to the place of confidence that I took my first solo overseas trip last April. I did great! I thoroughly enjoyed my week in London and I am not as intimidated by solo overseas travel any more.

I do have concerns about transfers on trains and from airports, but I have learned to really research the topic before I go to the point of watching you tube videos on how to use ticket machines, etc. The more I research,the more confident I am in my plans.

I feel a little more comfortable visiting new places in the daylight than at night, at least at first and am not above using Google street view to get a feel for what my hotel should look like.

Travel is like most things we are learning. Practice, practice, practice. I am doing my best to do lots of practice!

Posted by
15678 posts

Absolutely, public transport (trains/trams/buses) is my nemesis. Living in a part of the world where it's not all that common, sorting the options and how those all work - in a different language - gives me an ulcer. I'm so afraid I'll miss some small but important detail! Nothing else bothers me much.

I will dispute one common claim? German trains do not always run on time. Neither are announcements always provided both in German AND English, as my good German friend assured us that they would, even when unplanned stops/changes were involved. Wouldn't have expected either had we not been told otherwise but, well, best to be prepared! Thank heavens for some kindly English-speaking German passengers who were equally as surprised when the unexpected happened but we all managed eventually to get to Munich as intended. :O)

Posted by
492 posts

Oddly enough, I suppose what intimidates me most is the prospect of missing out on things, or choosing the "wrong" things to see and do.

In preparing for a trip and following a trip, I regularly find myself wondering if the things I'm planning to see or did see were the best ones, whether I wasted too much time, or whether I missed out on something I could have enjoyed more. If I had an unlimited supply of money and vacation days, perhaps I'd be less concerned with that. As is, though, I spend countless hours researching what to see and do and wondering if the plans I settle on are the right ones. In a weird way, I can see the appeal of just letting someone else handle all that for ya!

This is all part of why I'll often keep returning to the same place, at the expense of trying out new ones. I went to Prague, loved it, wanted to see more and more of it, kept finding new things about Prague and the Czech Republic I wanted to see and do, so returned several times to delve in to it all more deeply. Thankfully, I've forced myself to deal with this by visiting old favorites again, and tacking on new places. My last trip to Prague involved a hop over to Budapest for awhile... and I fell in love with Budapest and have gone back several times since, constantly wanting to see more of the city and surrounding area. My last trip to Budapest was for a river cruise from there to Bucharest... and now I'm obsessed with Romania!

Posted by
11247 posts

Nothing intimidates me but I get nervous that I will have made an error and show up at an airport or train station and find I had the date wrong. Or that my arrival by train somewhere is a day before the booking for lodging starts. I make spreadsheets and check and recheck reservations. Sometimes I worry we won’t find enough to interest us (only happened once) or that we will regret not having a car and will miss something as a result (never happened). My anxiety make sleep the last few days before a trip very difficult, but there is positive energy there, too!

Posted by
11052 posts

Nothing intimidates me either but there is always frustration getting to know how to use the new city’s public transit. Each one is different.
You are a traveler, a guest in the country or city, and aren’t supposed to know everything, There are always people availed to help you. Hotel concierges are so valuable in this regard.

Posted by
3940 posts

Public transport in a new place. I’m ok with subways, but if we have to try and use a bus or a tram...ugh. They don’t always necessarily stop at every stop and in an unfamiliar city...even worse. And is that the right bus?? At least the subway stops at every stop. This is why I do enjoy returning to some cities as I’m used to the landmarks and transport.

I don’t do too bad in restaurants. We are the definition of unadventurous eaters, so if there isn’t a menu posted outside for us to peruse, we keep looking.

As for flying...I LOVE flying. I don’t like the whole airport experience, but I love the window seat. I get so excited!

Posted by
13 posts

Parking, and to a lesser extent, driving in foreign cities. I can parallel park with the best of them but have run into several difficult parking situations in my travels to Europe. And I don’t mean parking in the larger cities like Paris and London, but I’m particularly thinking of Sarajevo, Belgrade, Bucharest and Zagreb. Despite the difficulties, it’s still been worth it IMO to have a rental car to explore less easily accessible areas.

I do try to remember this if ever I’m experiencing some road rage here in my hometown - I think to myself Maybe they’re from a foreign country and they’re doing their best. 😏

Posted by
2111 posts

Maria's post gets the award for the most-worthy-of-being-intimidated. Jeez, Maria, I would have been totally freaking out. But, I tend to remain calm during a crisis, then the stress hits me later.

Wow..............glad you lived to tell about it.

Posted by
610 posts

The most intimidating thing for me is the idea of accidentally breaking some kind of rule and not being able to communicate with law enforcement to understand what I've done. This fear has kept me from renting a car in a foreign country. What if you inadvertently break a law and get pulled over and the officers don't speak any English and you don't speak any of their language? This probably sounds silly, but it's my big fear.

We had a small version of this happen on a train in Paris. They were doing a ticket check and when we produced our tickets they indicated that ours weren't valid and we had difficulty understanding why. Turns out my husband had kept his ticket from earlier in the morning and it was no longer valid and that's the one he had produced. We didn't see the difference between them, until finally we noticed the small time stamp and he found the more current ticket. But the inspectors didn't speak enough English for us to understand and we didn't speak enough French. That feels super vulnerable to me, as I am such a rule follower. Another time I almost missed my flight in Vienna because when we went through security I was told to go to a different gate number than the one printed on my ticket. The security guy said something else in German, but I didn't understand and assumed it would be obvious when I got there. I arrived at the gate and it was empty, so I assumed I had misunderstood and returned to the gate printed on my ticket and waited there. Just before boarding the plane, I was told I had been selected for a special security screening and that's why I was supposed to have gone to that other gate. Now I had to run there, be taking in the back behind the gate (which is why it had been empty) and then run back before the plane left. These types of situations are really intimidating to me.

Posted by
200 posts

I will second Leslie's post - dining out alone. I often travel solo & I can do breakfast, lunch but there is something about dinner that I struggle with. Especially on a Friday or Saturday. I was just in Italy for 2 weeks & I forced myself to do it. Sometimes it was uncomfortable but sometimes it led to fun. My last night there in Rome was spent at Mickey's near the Pantheon & I ended up breaking bread with the table next to me who ended up being from my home town area. Or the couple from Chicago who were on their 25th anniversary trip and I spent an hour eating & talking with. He wondered why they were in Florence when they have great museums in Chicago but never go. They were fun & I hope they had a great trip.
It's my goal to get comfortable enough to eat out solo on a Saturday night in my hometown. One day it won't be so scary.

Posted by
1369 posts

I can't claim to have actual xenoglossophobia, but, wow, I can barely stutter out foreign words that I actually know and have practiced, like "thank you" in Italian or French. I still have nightmares about trying to learn Russian in college 45 years ago.

Posted by
66 posts

It is a combination of of deciphering menus and if done wrong, ending up in a medical emergency. My husband is violently allergic to a variety of things and I get food poisoning at the drop of a hat (so maybe food intolerance).

Then the arriving at night and not having a clue when plans go sideways.

We took a weekend trip from Cancun to Havana during our honeymoon in 1990. We met a guy on the plane who was Mexican and when our ride did not appear, we went off with him (I was 24, small town, eek!). Havana was pitch black, and we ended up in a restaurant. My husband was wearing shorts, which did not meet the dress code, so the maitre d' made a waiter take off his pants and give them to my husband. We end up at a table buying Cuban cigars literally under the table. There is rum and I refuse, saying I have diabetes. That was okay, since I was a woman. The main guy also had Type 1 but he was a man so rum was good. My husband had never had alcohol before, and never has since, but was made to understand that not having a drink would be very VERY impolite and this was not a man to annoy. So he had his rum, in his borrowed trousers, we took our cigars (which he still has and has not opened) and got the hell out. Politely.

And I got food poisoning on the last day in Havana, it caught up to me in Cancun and my husband's Spanish still consists only of "Mi esposa est infermo. No camarista hoi" (no idea if that is even close). He says it regularly.

Just came back from 26 days in Italy and no food issues! Yay! (Dukoral, thank you (?))

Posted by
3943 posts

Carol, I am right with you on solo travel being the next “intimidator”. I love airports, I plan meticulously because I also love the planning, I like to talk to new people, and I love trains. And have made my share of mistakes. But I have done my travel either with groups or with my husband, who passed away soon after our trip to Stockholm and Copenhagen last summer.

Of course I have flown by myself lots, including to and from Japan, but not “taken a vacation” by myself ever. I am not afraid of the process - only how I will feel during the process. For a plan, I am starting in what I hope will be an easy transition with the Toronto to Vancouver train, with several days in Jasper along the way. That will give me a place to go when I want to be by myself, as well as built-in low-key conversation opportunities when I want. (Plus I love trains - ha!) Then next summer, it will be 5 weeks in Scotland and England - most likely solo. A bit nervous but optimistic!

Posted by
86 posts

I don't know that intimidates is the right word, but what gives my the most concern/anxiety is getting my itinerary wrong. I'm 66 and my chances of going back to a place are getting slimmer and slimmer and I can only hope I got it right.

Posted by
9403 posts

Travelmom, i had never flown (i’m afraid of flying) by myself or gone on a vacation by myself (was scared to) but I went to Paris last year by myself and i loved every minute. Granted Paris is my hometown, but i’d never been there alone. It was absolute bliss for me.
I hope you have a wonderful time in Scotland and England and discover that you really enjoy solo travel... : )

Posted by
14481 posts

It used to be flying over such a long distance, ca 11 hrs non-stop. Flying from SFO to LAX or San Diego didn't count. I've become used to doing the trans-Atlantic flight. Having one piece of luggage somehow lost on the flight where it doesn't show up on the baggage claim used to be a concern but someone's luggage has to the first to be thrown out, just someone's luggage will be the last thrown out. My luggage is never among the first and luckily never among the last 10%, which makes you feel nervous already.

True, there have been times where getting a foreign language menu was a total surprise when it ought not to have been. In 1971 I was Malmö for one night, got to a small restaurant, was given a menu all in Swedish, obviously,....totally didn't count on or expect that. I first looked for cognate words similar to English or German. Obviously, the waitress didn't speak German or English, so I just pointed to a dish. The same happened in Prague in 1973, was given a Czech menu, but the waiter did speak German, still could not read the menu at all. I just pointed to an "expensive" dish at the bottom of the menu.

When I went to France the first and second times in 1973 and 1977, I could not read the menu either, minus a few words, basically zero comprehension. By the late 1990s I decided to study up, learn the important vocab needed to crack a French menu. Now reading a French menu is no problem as is ordering in French

Never had a problem reading a German menu or placing the order in German.

I've gotten lost so many times, on foot day and night, in cities and towns, but never was intimidated as to safety even though I was always alone when lost. Taking the trains in Germany, figuring the system from the first trip in Germany was easy, no problem, even when I went in a "wrong" direction but I discovered that by eavesdropping on conversations around me, so I got off at the next stop.

Taking the trains in France was not intimidating but did take a bit more getting use to, both the TER and TGV trains.

On eating alone...no problem at dinner in Germany or France. As most trips are solo, having dinner alone is part of it.

Posted by
3940 posts

dbordsave - re - dining alone. When we were in Corniglia, Cinque Terre (me and hubby) we were eating at one of the restaurants and there was a solo female dining beside us. She ordered something with lobster and my husband commented that his mother would probably like that. What ensued was something like a 2-2.5 hr conversation with this woman fr New Zealand and it was great (we love to talk - lol). The one time I'm glad that they don't try and get rid of you when you dine in Europe (we usually want to get going because we have stuff to do). It didn't work out so well for her tho - we actually saw her the next day in one of the villages and she told us that she had just missed the 11pm train back to whatever village she was in and she had to sit at the train stn until midnight for the next one!

Posted by
4526 posts

@Maggie, the trip got better and it was the start of a love of Africa. The stories about my first volunteering stint there at 56 would entertain you. Luckily I am a 'half full' kind of gal, tend to weigh things up and trust, and once action is put into place, realize I just have to roll with it. A belief in fate, or destiny helps. But that airport and darkness experience has altered how I deal with arrivals and the times of arrival ;-)

Posted by
200 posts

Great story Nicole though I'm sorry she missed her train. Those golden moments of unexpected companionship are what I'm going to try to focus on in the future!

Posted by
8257 posts

Travelmom, you can do this! Learning to live life as a "solo" after losing ones spouse is not easy, but each day is a small victory. I like the idea that you are building up your skills and confidence by taking a domestic trip before you tackle the international one.

The more you practice, the more confident you will become. I don't doubt that you already have every travel skill that you need, it is the traveling by yourself that just takes some getting used to.

I remember some good advice I received after I lost my husband. "You may not be having the life that you planned and looked forward to, but that doesn't mean it can't still be a good life." I am glad that you are moving forward and working toward the "good life" which is exactly what your spouse would have wanted you to do.

Have a great trip across Canada!!

Posted by
940 posts

What a thought provoking question. I appreciate all the great insights from the others who posted on this topic. As someone who travels a lot, I am not intimidated by most aspects of travel. The thing that makes me the most nervous and perhaps intimidated is what to do when I find myself in an unplanned or risky situation in a foreign country.

For example, getting into a car accident in a rural town in India is intimidating. You don't speak the language, our driver actually didn't speak the right dialog, and he hit a guy on a bicycle. I was very happy when the police arrived, but that didn't really solve the situation and for awhile, didn't actually know how we were going to proceed. Everything turned out okay (it only took about 6 hours to resolve).

Having to go to the emergency room in Shanghai for an eye injury. Scary enough when you can't see, but you also can't speak the language. Turns out, Shanghai is a great place to go the emergency room, no wait, great care, and even without medical insurance, very reasonably priced.

Being in a country where there is some unrest (yellow jackets in France, riots in Istanbul, etc.), these are really intimidating.

What I will say in all these situations is that good preparation and keeping calm helps. I will still continue to travel despite the risks, but I will say these risks still intimidate me.

Posted by
2916 posts

flying in an airplane over which I have no control is the single most intimidating thing about traveling for me.

Same here. I've flown hundreds of times, and I still don't believe that those things will actually get off the ground and fly for thousands of miles.
Second is the language issue in a country whose language I can't speak at all. After many years of traveling to France almost exclusively, I recently spent a couple of days in a German-speaking part of Switzerland. I reflexively said oui, bonjour" and "merci" a number of times.

Posted by
1321 posts

Public transportation in a new place
The first time driving in a new place

Hmmm .... new places intimidate me... but we press on always wanting to see a new place...but I do feel a sense of calm when I get to return to place like Bellagio or Florence. Places I've stayed a few days and feel like I at least have an understanding of what's going on. But new places do intimidate me whether home or abroad. I started traveling in my 50's when I finally could afford it so being late to the travel world I think has set me back some.

Posted by
12172 posts

Cost has always been the most intimidating thing. When I was younger and had little money, I'd skip sights rather than waste 10 euro. Now that I have a little more money, I'm still totally put off by expensive restaurants and hotels. In fact, I still haven't visited Switzerland because of sticker shock. I travel inexpensively so I can travel more for the same money.

Posted by
3940 posts

Deborah - I guess the thing is if you hear some English beside you, just make a comment or two - about the food, about the area. You'll know quickly or not if the people are open to a conversation. I'm from a small town, so I'll just strike up random convos with people in the grocery line if it's too long! Had a nice chat with an American couple on the train from Venice to Florence, with some Aussies at breakfast at a B&B in Venice, with some Brits in California - actually, I find B&B breakfasts a great time to connect with other travelers.

On that same trip in Corniglia, we were going to a restaurant for breaky but they were closed. Started talking with an Aussie woman and she actually invited us back to her room for breakfast. We declined (because, well...) but afterwards I wish we had taken her up on it. It seemed a bit weird - you know, is she crazy/going to rob us? But when we went to catch the shuttle bus down to the train stn, she was on it with her husband and small child, so it was a genuine offer. But hubby and I are very used to interacting with total strangers - we host couchsurfers in our home - people from all over the world. And I worked retail for many years, so striking up conversations with total strangers is very easy for me.

As for learning another language - I know a bit of Canadian French, and when I was in Italy, I kept using French instead of the bit of Italian I learned. So I just kinda gave up learning other languages, other than the basics of hi/bye/thank you...I'm just gonna French it up anyways.

Posted by
2942 posts

I would say cost would be a factor for most people. I tend to spend on bits and pieces, like airfare one month, hotel/apartment another month, and then book sites and a day tour or two at other times. Spreading out the spending keeps it from being so daunting, I guess. Perhaps a better option is setting aside some money every month in a travel account, so after a year or two you have a good chunk of money available. Even $100/month would be helpful.

Posted by
381 posts

Thank you for all the different perspectives in this thread.

I just want to clarify, for those who are philosophically inclined (like me), what I meant by "intimidated" in my question and how feeling intimidated differs from simply being fearful or worried about something.

Feeling intimidated means that you are unreasonably fearful about something in such a way that it blocks you from responding in your ordinary, resourceful fashion. You need an extra dose of bravery to confront something that intimidates you.

For example, if a person intimidates you, then you are more reluctant than you usually are to have a normal conversation with that person or to make a request of that person. If an activity intimidates you, you are reluctant to put yourself into a situation where you have to do it or experience it.

In an novel I once read, there was a character who had been head surgeon at a hospital, and when he was in a chaotic situation outside the hospital where he wanted to impose his will, he used his "head surgeon" voice to give an order. In the story, even the soldiers in that situation instantly and instinctively gave way to him. He knew how to intimidate other people.

Most of the time, when you do summon the courage to do something that intimidates you, you discover that it wasn't worth the fear you had about it. It's different with regular old fears. For example, I'm afraid of encountering a shark when I swim in Hawaii. That's a reasonable fear, not intimidation, and in fact I take a whole bunch of special precautions with respect to this fear. I swim, but only at beaches with a lifeguard. It's a healthy fear and not something I would want to get over.

Posted by
1321 posts

I can’t really say anything ‘intimidates’ me about travel, but I definitely felt lonely a few times on my last trip.

Being in a long distance relationship is hard and it’s even harder when you’re abroad by yourself and you get reminded of memories with him. Also, my closest friend died back in 2017, he loved travel and I’d constantly text or FaceTime with him while abroad.

So, I try to strike a balance when I text or FaceTime my other friends, I don’t want rub their noses in the fact that I’m in Europe and they’re not. But, I do like sharing what I’ve done that day.

As far as subway/metro systems, I just have to remember that I even get thrown for a loop occasionally in Chicago and DC, where I know the systems quite well. It seems like in Chicago, every time they’re making an announcement on the train late at night , there’s some idiot blasting a Bluetooth speaker and I can’t hear it, so I end up on a train that’s going express and it’ll skip my stop. Same thing will occasionally happen in Europe, trains break down, stations get closed, trains get rerouted. It all works out in the end. I’ve definitely learned to give myself a larger buffer if I’m going to a concert or show, much easier to get there early and relax than miss the start of the show because of something weird with the subway.

Posted by
3200 posts

As for learning another language - I know a bit of Canadian French, and when I was in Italy, I kept using French instead of the bit of Italian I learned. So I just kinda gave up learning other languages, other than the basics of hi/bye/thank you...I'm just gonna French it up anyways.

--Oh, Nicole, this is so me! If I'm in France, I can't think of my French Vocabulary. Put me in any other country to speak their language and suddenly I can only speak French!

What intimidates me the most is the chance of getting sick in a foreign country when I'm traveling solo. As a result, the first thing I do when I arrive is find food/drink to keep in my room just in case. If it is more serious than a stomach issue or flu, I really question whether I would call for help... Nonetheless, I'm traveling!

Renting a car solo in Europe. Not going to do it. Drive solo with new rules, no navigator, and a foreign language...I just haven't been able to get myself to do it. I am working on psyching myself up for a very local investigation solo in a rental car in Sweden. We'll see how many years it takes for me to accomplish this. I attribute a lot of this fear to having a career in 3rd party casualty insurance...I only saw the horror stories.

Posted by
279 posts

Tipping! In any particular location I am never sure what the local tipping scheme is. Yes! No! Round up! etc. There is plenty of information and misinformation on the web. As an American I seem to be expected to get it wrong. Am I the “cheap ass” American who tips too little or the “dumb ass” American who tips too much. When I don’t know any better, I rather be the “dumb ass” than the “cheap ass”!

Posted by
2667 posts

I’ve been thinking about you question since you posted it and I’ve been home from my first trip to Italy and first RS tour for almost three weeks.

Flying is not a problem as long as I can have my aisle seat. My 15 words of Italian were not a problem, even when no one spoke English in Calabria.

Most intimidating is public transportation, buses and subways, not Frecciarossa. We have minimal, non-efficient public transportation in Phoenix which no one in their right mind would use without having all day to travel across town.

Next intimating is the idea of traveling by myself. I just haven’t done it except for business years ago. All my bravado would hide in the hotel room after dark or at meal times.

Posted by
122 posts

As a senior solo traveler I am not easily intimidated although I lack the knack for picking up different languages...gestures work and knowing short phrases. Arriving very late at nigh because of flight delays can be stressful especially if your hotel shuttle has departed! Luckily, when this has happened some one offers to help ( maybe because I am old like their granny LOL) Once, riding a bus to Vienna in the middle of the night I was dropped NOT at the train stain as I had thought and planned but in the dark at a deserted area a short walk to a sub way station. One other passenger sprinted off to get the subway...and left me a bit concerned! I noticed one cab and a driver snoozing. For a price- he was willing to get me to the exact train station I needed- he though I was quite the brave American lady and helped me with my rolling bag. People are really good at heart. The important thing in a crisis situation is stay calm. An incident like that wont keep me from traveling. I continued to Slovenia+ Croatia and beyond. Last year I island hopped in Greece for 8 weeks. This summer I am going to Malaysia and Thailand. If not NOW...then WHEN ? I am 76 years old and my bucket list is not done yet :) Pre- plan and do your research and be aware that any thing can change the plan- tears wont help so weigh you options and accept plan B. It is much better than staying home watching TV and hearing friends complain about health issues etc.

Posted by
1900 posts

cjleisch

i like your attitude. I am 74 and live in senior citizen housing. Sad to say that most of the persons living here are miserable and if I allow them to will also make me miserable. Some of the residents can not stand being around a happy person.

I did not retire well but even so, I manage my one cruise a year. I would rather die travelling than in a medicare funded nursing home.

Posted by
2942 posts

Looking at the signs at train stations and undergrounds to determine where the hell I'm going. Sometimes I have to move to the side against a wall to get my bearings, and then my wife confer until we have our act together. More than once we went the wrong way and had to double back, which gets the adrenaline pumping a bit if you're on a tight schedule. Yes, a few times we went the wrong way on some public transport for a stop or two. That's fun.

Posted by
3985 posts

Airports not having wheelchairs to meet me at the jetway upon arrival and at the entrance of the airport when departing for a trip. That panics me.

That has happened to me several times in the last year and it causes me great stress wondering if the company hired to provide wheelchair service is a good one or completely inept.

Posted by
3586 posts

@dmwacu
1 hour to get through Immigration (not customs, which is trivial) at Heathrow is cutting it close. Partly, it depends on how many other large planes have arrived at the same time as yours. Maybe you’ve done this, but I would reserve the car for an hour and a half after the arrival time. Better to wait around a bit than to need to deal with getting new transport.

Posted by
4255 posts

Driving in the UK intimidates me so I've never tried it.

Posted by
14481 posts

Taking one hour to clear Immigration in LHR has happened only once when all my flights to LHR were from the end of April to early June, so basically in May and June. Coincidence, maybe? The one time lasting one hour was in the afternoon, arrival at ca 4 pm. or a bit later.

The other arrivals in LHR were always in the morning between 10-11am, they took ca. 20 mins to 35 mins...I hardly even noticed the wait.

Bottom line...take the flight from SFO or OAK that arrives is in the morning , the earlier the better.

Posted by
3049 posts

Oddly enough, I suppose what intimidates me most is the prospect of missing out on things, or choosing the "wrong" things to see and do.

This is my biggest fear too - FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), choosing an unpleasant place to stay, etc. It's why I tend to over research, but it also means I have to actively focus to be "in the moment" when traveling as I've often got my nose buried in my phone reading about a restaurant or attraction and trying to best maximize my day. It takes effort to actively relax, which is why quiet Greek islands appeal to me - there's not much to do BUT relax if you're forced into it!

I'm not surprised that so many people are intimated by public transit, since the US has such terrible public transit, but this is one hurdle that can be gotten over with technology (which also intimidates people!) In a large enough place, Google Maps will usually have reliable transit info, although the local transit app is almost always better, especially when dealing with construction, re-routing, etc.

I try to look at a transit map before I go somewhere, and if I'm uncertain I'll check schedules and maps at the stop itself, and if I'm really nervous I'll ask a local or the bus driver to let me know where to go - but this is really less of an issue if you have data on your phone (a must for me).

Posted by
1059 posts

What intimidates me the most is getting from my arrival airport to my destination especially if I am arriving late in the day.

Posted by
2091 posts

Nothing!
I love ever minute, the planning, the flying, every single thing. Even the hassles and challenges!

Posted by
5697 posts

What intimidates me during travel is the stuff that scares me at home -- staircases without handrails, going up and down rocky slopes, navigating in an unfamiliar place at night.
Oh, and turning in a rental car at a city train station. UGH!

Posted by
14481 posts

I draw the line between what intimidates me and what " throws me off " initially when arriving in a totally new and foreign place, linguistically, say the first time going through Poland en route to Warsaw in 2001, or to Brno and Slavkov/Austerlitz in 2016, or to Utrecht and Doorn in 2018.

Not seeing signs which I can read either in French, English and German throws me off initially when I am traveling solo. Then you adjust and quickly too. When traveling with the Mrs, eg, in Poland or France (in the interior), then I rely on her. Unlike me, being confronted with signs in an incomprehensible language doesn't bother her at all.

Posted by
633 posts

The main thing that intimidates me is fear of one of us having an accident or illness, or something happening to family at home, and being so far apart. Otherwise, I would say I get a bit anxious at transitions from one location to another, and about the possibility of an accident with the rental car in a foreign country. My husband is totally intimidated by foreign menus.

Posted by
4022 posts

I guess what intimidates me the most about traveling is the fear of the unknown and not being prepared for what might happen. Luckily I'm a planner and I research the heck out of every detail to make sure I'm prepared. The best example I can give was a trip to England last Fall. We spent a week in London and then a week going to Bath and the Cotswolds. The thought of driving a car on the other side of the road was stressful, but in my usual fashion, I read about it on forums like this and watched a few videos and by the time I got there I was prepared. There still were a few stressful moments on that first day as I'd be on roads that were 1.5 lanes wide or a traffic circle with 5 entry points, but we came through unscathed and I'm ready for my next driving adventure. Research is my best friend for tackling my fear of the unknown and that's what I appreciate most about the Rick Steves books, the step by step type of guidance he gives on the everyday functions of traveling such as getting from the airport to town, or even buying a train ticket.

Posted by
2461 posts

Train travel, especially booking train tickets. I’ve read many posts here on the forum about trains in Germany or Italy and the confusing variety of express, regional or local routes, etc. Next time I need to buy train tickets in advance, I will pose my question here as I know there are many experts! This is what intimidates me!

Posted by
531 posts

Missing a train or flight! Seriously, I have a recurring dream/nightmare about missing an international connection. I'm sure there's something deeper there that I need to discuss with my therapist. ;-)

Posted by
11507 posts

Making a booking mistake !

Our last trip this past May- June - I booked 4-5 flights - a train, a ferry , and nine hotels ., a 5 week trip .

Every single time we had to move on I was worried we’d arrive to “ sorry you made a mistake , your booking is for next month “ , or some other issue like that .

At one hotel this trip I went to the front desk to arrange a ride to airport the next day . Clerk asked me what time flight was , I said I’d have to go to room and check my papers .

When I got to room the phone rang - desk clerk said “ we do not have you leaving tomorrow, your reservation is for a 5 night stay “ - I momentarily panicked thinking i had screwed up flight or hotel . Whew - both were fine , I had just become confused on what day it was !

Solo trips eating out solo etc - I’m fine with that ( mind you I’ve only done solo in Europe , I think I would find it more intimidating if it was Africa or Asia etc )

Flying does freak me out but I have to do it so I just suck it back and endure lol

Posted by
2 posts

The thing that intimidates me most about traveling to a new country is….me.
I’m 70, recently retired, want to visit EU. (would be first time)
Not in a hurry, not concerned about the $$$.
The only urgency, as while I am currently healthy, don’t know when my “factory warranty” will expire.
(Probably sooner, rather than later.)
Traveling solo. Not as mentally sharp as I once was, nor in as good physical condition (long, steep hikes= not any more)
Bought RS info on Iceland, would like to fantasize about after Iceland, could I just wander around the EU for a few months? No specific schedule to meet, just follow a rough draft kind of itinerary?
Is this even reasonable for me, or should I option for some travel mode that is more structured and managed?

Posted by
8377 posts

@fsh396ss yeah the first time can be intimidating, but do it now while you still can. A tour might be a good choice for you. Take a look at the RS tours here, and note that singles are welcome. Your age will fit right in. The advantage of a tour is that it takes the burden of planning and logistics off your back, yet the RS format still gives you plenty of free time. Sure you could go independently for less money, but you wont see nearly as much or have the benefit of knowledgable guides. Or you could do a mix of tours and independent travel. Spends some time with Rick Steves Europe through the Back Door guidebook and see how it resonates with you.

PS, yes you could just wander, but you'd have to have some idea of what you're interested in seeing or it will just be a parade of train stations and hotel rooms. Note the 90 day limit for visitors in the Schengen zone.

Posted by
14481 posts

@ fsh...You're good to go,... no outstanding health issues, ample $, retired, ie, no real and pressing time constraint...what are you waiting for?

You're perfect for doing it solo. I'm in the same age bracket, I've been going solo a lot often than with others, ie family. When I was single, I always went solo, save once with my girl friend to Paris.

True about being not as sharp as you were in yesteryear, that's why I factor in down time, go at a less hectic or slower pace, ie you decide that when and where. I have no problems going solo, am totally used to it, and have certainly no physical issues that would preclude that option.....definitely no psychological blocks stopping me from going. I walk a ton over there but big hikes, etc are out.

Bottom line...don't short change yourself or put imaginary fears in front of yourself. saying you can't do it.

Posted by
7595 posts

Nothing about travel intimidates me.

I research and plan my trips in detail, from tours to hotels/B&Bs to flights, transport, etc.

Before I go to a city that we are visiting, I have thoroughly researched what the primary sites are to see. I use the internet as well as tour guide books and websites such as this one.

I have lived overseas for a total of 9 years (Germany and Saudi Arabia) and visited 78 countries. There is more to see and I am still excited about that.

Posted by
26 posts

I wouldn't say there's anything that "intimidates" me, but certain things that are more likely to cause me a little stress:
1) The travel cost. I don't have an unlimited budget, and I may spend a little too much time and effort trying to snag a deal here or finding a less expensive way of transport there. I have to remind myself that travel isn't cheap, a $100 hotel room is the same as a $3,000 mortgage, and going to Europe is a good way to reduce my soda intake.
2) My family knows I have planned numerous solo trips and with my girlfriend/fiancee, so I get tasked with becoming the travel agent for any family trips, which I find more daunting. The more extensive logistics, sorting out things to do for everyone, limiting my "go-go" planning for the little ones and seniors, it gets to be a bit much.
3) Really strange food. I like trying new foods, but only if I kind of plan on it or research it beforehand, like the OP. I can be a somewhat finicky eater, and I always find those chef's choice menus to be potential landmines. Google translate has really helped when looking at menu descriptions.

Posted by
12172 posts

I'd say learning a new transit system in each new city intimidates me. Whether bus, metro or light rail I'm always a little leery of learning where the stops are, where they go, the cost, how to pay/buy a ticket?

I keep telling myself that after one attempt, it becomes really easy.

Posted by
2829 posts

Understanding menus and how to order dishes I am not sufficiently familiar with. English translations of menus are sometimes misleading or outright wrong. Something that has made things easier is Google Images, it is easy to google the name of a dish on the menu and see how it looks like, what an Wilkipedia entry about it says...

Taking out and taking back rental cars is always a stressful moment. I have read way too many horror stories about misreported damage, normal mechanical wear-and-tear charged as damage etc. One needs to be super careful about what you are signing when actually taking the key (despite reservation docs I always have), there is often upselling, agents asking for a pre-paid fuel tank (horribly overpriced) etc. I need to refuse all the upselling while still not pissing off the agent, who has no say on the atrocious commission system ran at most rental car companies. Then comes inspecting the car, often in underground garages under dim-lit conditions. Walk around, try to spot obvious damage, make video or the walk-around, check if docs are in place, test brakes and everything while still close to the airport. Then returning the car is always that anxious moment before I get a slip/invoice saying nothing else is owerd - I would like to, but cannot trust, delivering the car off-hours. These days, I always buy secondary insurance from insurers that will reimburse you for deductibles on the car insurance company policy. Or I chalk up and by for zero-deductible policies + glass/underbody insurance. I long for some 'disrupter' in the car rental business that offered more straightforward rental services without all the anxiety that goes navigating the bait-and-switch-y model of major companies right now :(

Trail signage systems or inconsistent trail maps worry me. I like day or half-day hikes, but especially when doing it alone, information on hazards, including fauna, is crucial.

On my travels to the US, I specifically worry about having some medical incident that quickly exhausts the US$ 250K or upwards travel insurance policy I have, always bought in Europe to be under the customer protections here. I am thinking of not traveling to the US again without a US$ 1 million travel insurance policy. But that is expensive even for a person on their 30s like myself. And no matter how people tell me it is normal and common, seeing civilians carrying firearms in a visible manner always scare me and make me leave the immediate surroundings.

Posted by
381 posts

And no matter how people tell me it is normal and common, seeing civilians carrying firearms in a visible manner always scare me and make me leave the immediate surroundings.

Where are you traveling to, Texas? I live in rural Massachusetts (also lived in Connecticut, Rhode Island and upstate New York) and in my whole life, the only time I have ever seen non-police with guns is during hunting season, which thankfully is only a couple of weeks. Gun carrying is definitely not normal anywhere I have lived.

Posted by
4255 posts

Andre L , surprisingly I don't ever see non-police with visible guns. I don't know if I'm oblivious or just don't get out much. My friends group isn't into guns. And of course, you can't take them into college football stadiums, which is where I encounter the largest crowds.

Posted by
4255 posts

Traveling is like exercising your muscles-you improve by pushing yourself a little beyond your comfort zone. Build up experiences that remind you that you've done things that were hard for you in the past, so you can handle the current challenge. If public transportation intimidates you, start with the London subway before trying it in countries where you don't speak the language. And as OP pointed out in her original post, do lots of research prior to your trip about the things that intimidate you.

Posted by
739 posts

I have been in all but 9 states. I have been in big cities (both the wealthy areas and the ghetto) I have been out in farmland and up in the mountains, I have been in areas of West Virginia that are an hours Drive back into the hills on roads no wider then my vehicle and I have walked in forests and woods where bears and poisonous snakes are common and I have NEVER encountered a civilian openly carrying a gun unless it was hunting season. And if you are out in the woods during hunting season you are asking for whatever problems you encounter.

So where in the world are you encountering guns? A shooting range? Or Upper Michigan in the last two weeks of November? (Deer Season ). Heck I have been in the South Side of Chicago for a week for work outside traveling to different locations and I have driven around the bad areas of Detroit and not encountered guns...

Sheesh someone is paranoid

Posted by
337 posts

I live in Louisiana and I've seen people openly carrying on several occasions. It is legal here. Their weapons have always been holstered. But it is still surprising to me when I see it. It isn't the norm.

Posted by
5697 posts

French rail strikes ! This will be our second trip complicated by pre-booked trains that may or may not run. However, we also had a trip to Italy when we were unsure about how we would get home from SFO because of a lengthy BART strike (settled before we flew home, thankfully) so I do realize this can happen anywhere.

Posted by
6733 posts

I'm not really "intimidated" by much (well, there was that one time, those angry-looking soldiers with machine guns glaring at me when I made a big, visible scene and ranted loudly about some stupid government requirement for changing money at outrageous rates upon arriving in a country ruled by a Stalinist gang of thugs known for gross human rights abuses...yeah, eventually I came to my senses that day, became appropriately intimidated, and then shut up...).

Probably my biggest worries: 1) getting sick from something I eat (I'm v-e-r-y careful in developing countries), and 2) when I'm completely unable to make any sense whatsoever of written words in non-Roman scripts (Arabic or Asian scripts especially)...makes me feel vulnerable if I can't tell the difference between a sign that says "welcome" or "danger".

Posted by
6733 posts

Oh, one more: the first few minutes of driving an unfamiliar car, in places like: Mexico City, Marrakech (compounded by signs written in Arabic), and Sapporo (compounded by signs written in Japanese and driving on the left). Initially intimidating, but it gets better.

Posted by
6733 posts

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Posted by
3985 posts

I had a ticket for the short jaunt from Avignon Centre to Avignon TGV,
but it was supprimé. No way to catch the next one and get the TGV on
time.

I don't understand. What exactly was the problem?

Posted by
151 posts

Taxi Cabs - I am terrified of getting into taxi cabs - doesn't matter where, here in the USA or while traveling. Was traveling in Phoenix, AZ a few years ago with my sister and brother in law. Picked up at 4:00 a.m. for an early flight home and the driver pulled over to the side for about 10 min, said he "had a problem" and wouldn't go. It was weird and scary. On my recent solo trip, I took a cab in Salzburg and it took every ounce of courage to get into that cab. Besides, we are taught from childhood not to get into cars with strangers! And I've seen The Bone Collector. So I walk whenever I can!

Posted by
1878 posts

How did I miss this thread, which started some time ago?
--Countries that blur the line between police and military, like Italy and France. Troops and military-style vehicles in the town square make me jittery. Police in general make me nervous, police with military weapons, uniforms and vehicles even more so.
--Authority figures during the flying process like rude flight attendants who intimidate with their power to have you arrested upon landing unless you bow down to their power tactics. I had a United flight attendant get in my face because I questioned his moving my carry-on around without my knowledge.
--TSA agents who grope you during secondary screening, which in any other context would be a crime. If I complain too much, do I get on the no-fly list?
--Confrontational passengers on planes who want to play a game of chicken to see who will escalate enough to cause an arrest upon landing. Some people are just jerks and I'd tell them off at Trader Joe's but at 30,000 feet a confrontation can get you arrested.
--Driving in cities. In 2010 I drove into Paris accidentally twice trying to return the rental car to Orly. You would think returning a rental car at an airport would be an easy thing but it was not at all well signed and we were tired and needed a better map.

Posted by
86 posts

Prior to contracting rheumatoid arthritis nothing really intimidated me about travel. Now everything is more difficult. I can walk still walk, but climbing stairs is really difficult and I use a small mobility scooter for long distances. The additional research about whether a site/transportation is accessible is tedious, but not intimidating. The intimidating/frustrating part is sites that indicate they're accessible, but aren't. Or sites that are inaccessible due to age which I understand, but don't even have a place to sit or rest. Putting a few chairs in a room isn't going to violate the historic or architectural integrity of a site.

Posted by
110 posts

OMG, I thought because I have not traveled extensively that I was one of a few that was intimidated by travel challenges. After reading most of the above replies, its nice to know that many people are intimidated by aspects of travel to new or foreign places.
I just got back from Europe and it was a challenge to get from the arrival gate of my first flight to the departure gate of my second flight back to the U.S. at an airport I have never been to before. My past plane trips home were non stop flights. Sure I knew I had over 2 hours to make the connection when I booked it. But then the first flight changed its departure time, reducing my connection time by 30 minutes. Then it was a really long walk and a train/tram ride between gates and I wasn't quite sure I was going in the right direction. Then I didn't know I had to check in at an American Airlines desk before I got to the gate for another passport check before boarding their flight home. I did that with only 3 minutes to spare before boarding and I still needed badly to use the restroom. I made it, but it was a challenge. Now I will know when faced with a similar travel situation in the future. I guess its true, you live and learn.

By the way I am also intimidated by public transportation in Europe.

Posted by
681 posts

Transportation just plain scares me. I am always worried before and after arrival. Am I in the right place, will I understand where to go??? We are planning a trip to Japan, Ankor Wat and Viet Nam. What am I concerned about???? Transportation especially in Viet Nam. My intrepid hubby just laughs at me but then I am the worrier and he is the doer.

Posted by
6733 posts

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