Ways to engage locals in a chat -- what works for you?

Go into a bar and buy a round for everyone. It'll be the last money you will spend.

"Excuse me, do you speak English".

Hi,

If you mean at breakfast, in a train compartment (they still exist), etc, the most effective way is to engage them in their own language. In Germany and Austria they know I am a foreigner/tourist so they will speak Hochdeutsch with me, which is fine with me and exactly what I want. The locals always like you speaking their language, be it German or French. As for suggestions, say something about the local sports, ie, soccer teams and games, or something in the news taken from the headlines. The topic of the weather is an easy one.

In a British pub, especially outside London, pretty much any kind of lighthearted remark, especially after a beer. We've had some great conversations. Otherwise I have a hard time because my French and Spanish are pretty basic.

Go to a fest. Sit at a long table. Complement the country, the fest, the wine, the food, the music, the beer, the friendliness, and the city or town you are in. Everyone likes to hear nice things about their home.

The Festival idea is a really good one. I have made several friends that way. Beer festivals in particular

I think the setting is more important than the subject. If you approach random people on the street they will propably find you annoying or downright wierd (especially here in Denmark, where we are notoriuos for or closedness to strangers), though if you carry a map and look like a lost tourist asking for directions most people will propably be helpful. The best way in my mind would be at a pub, festival, bar, basicly any place with a festive or relaxed atmosphere and preferebly alcohol being served (sad but true).
And speaking the local language might be a good gesture, but only if you actually can hold a conversation. At least here in Denmark people will appreciate the gesture if you know a simple "tak" (thank you) or "goddag" (good day), but will quickly revert to English as soon as possible. People trying to start up a conversation in German here (It does happen) will get sullen looks.

I would first smile at them and see if they smile back. Normally if they do so, they'll be willing to engage in a chat with you. I would start by talking about my travels, experiences and my impression of their country. I would also ask them questions about their country(even if already know them) just to get the conversation going.

Bring your dog. Fido will make most of the introductions for you (that's how I met most of my neighbors when I lived in Germany).

At least in Germany... privacy and personal space are very important. Realize that the person sitting near you at the restaurant may not want to talk and recognize if you are making him/her uncomfortable. Be polite, but not intrusive.

The best way in my mind would be at a pub, festival, bar, basicly any place with a festive or relaxed atmosphere and preferebly alcohol being served (sad but true).

In our experience, that's pretty much where most conversations have happened, and they've never been intentional. They usually start with an offer to share space at a table, a question about what someone might recommend for type of beverage, etc, but they can't be forced. Especially in the hot tourist towns and cities, the poor locals have to deal with enough visitors underfoot that while they may be pleasant enough, they'd rather avoid than be pestered by them (not implying that you'd do that, of course)!

They're also not on vacation and have the usual stuff to get done that we all do on ordinary days so simply don't have time. Or are not especially gregarious by nature. Or have their own friends/family to focus their attention on.

But don't discredit others around you who are not 'local'!!! The individual/couple/family/group at the next table may be tourists from a country you enjoyed or is on your wish list, and just that mention is enough to start a chat. We've come away from dinners or drinks with offers to come and stay with people from all over the world, and shared lots of helpful information both ways. Those are some of our best memories as far as interaction with people! LOL, a couple of hours sharing a table at a canal-side bar in Amsterdam with a traveling poker club from Berlin (only one spoke English) was riotous and something we will remember forever! Same with a terrific history lesson from a lovely Welsh gent at a pub in London, and being adopted by the big, rowdy Irish family at our hotel in Sorrento...

Aside from bars and whatnot, a lot of our other chat-ups have happened in laundromats! Those are not the most exciting places to have to hang out so just a question about how the equipment works usually starts a dialog just to break the boredom.

Be outgoing or as Rick would say an extrovert. Converstaions can happen anywhere and I don't think you can go looking for those memorable moments, they just happen. Alchohol is a good "social lubricant".

I have found that being a football fan has opened up lots of conversation, obviously in England since we were going to a game, but elsewhere too. For example, a very surly French taxi driver was thrilled to (try to) chat after I commented on a sticker in his vehicle for Olympique Lyonnais. And then in Arles, when watching a game at a restaurant the waiters kept trying to chat with us because we were really the only people there paying attention to the game. A few nights later, we went back and were sat at a bad table. Our waiters arrived, and blustered a bit, and in typical efficient French waiter style had gathered up and taken our place settings to the best table in the place and set us up for the evening before we even knew what was happening.

Also to agree with Tom about the dog thing - a few years ago we were traveling with another couple and the husband approached dozens of people with dogs asking to pet them since he missed his back home. He enjoyed lots of great conversations.

The last three times we went to Switzerland, Austria, and Northern Italy we had our Jack Russell terrier, Thor with us. We were engaged by locals, European tourists...just about everyone you can think of. Even two heavily armed Swiss guards ar Zurich airport broke into smiles and friendly conversation about Thor. Thor has his own book about his first trip to Vienna over Christmas, where he was so warmly welcomed by all. Many conversations with locals in and around the Christmas markets, cafes, and restaurants.

Allow time in your own schedule for unexpected opportunities. If a salesperson in Turkey offers you a glass of tea, you can take it without obligation and may learn more than just about carpets. People relaxing on benches in parks and squares often have time to talk, especially if they are alone or you are alone (but people sunbathing nude in Munich's Englischer Garten I will leave to you). People engaged in a shared activity (festival, train ride, beach swim, standing in line) have some common ground with you.

Ways to engage locals in a chat?
In my opinion, your success in being able to do this depends on your language ability in their language, or in their English ability.
I've been able to do it in English speaking countries like the UK, but not so much in other countries.

An example: recently I was in France, but I'm not a native speaker and my school French was a long time ago. I'm ok in French in typical tourist situations like ordering food and buying tickets. But I can't even understand what 5 year old French kids around me are saying to their parents. I can say something to a French native speaker, but I can't understand most of what they say back.

So is the local going to want to chat with me at a 3 year old level. Or do they really want to give their English a work out. And if they were, what level of conversation is going to be possible.

I'm with Monte. Not being conversant in other languages I will start with "excuse me, do you speak English?". Of course I lean this phrase in the local language before I go so they can understand what I'm asking.

As others have mentioned, I usually begin a conversation with someone on a train or waiting in line, first asking (in the native language) if they speak English. Usually I get the 'just a little' response. Then I say I only speak a little (whatever language). Then they are more comfortable to say a sentence or two....I assure them their English is much better than my (insert language). Giggles happen, and then they start coaching me.

I comment how beautiful their country is or comment on how friendly the country is, etc. Then I usually ask if they have been to the United States, etc.

Now Alex: How cool is that your dog has not only been to Europe, but he has a book, too.

http://www.amazon.com/Thors-Travels-Adventures-American-Russell/dp/0986290904

Tell Thor that my cat, aka The Cat, is very jealous. He not only wants to go to Europe now, but he also wants a book, too.

Looks like an adorable book :) Thor is handsome :)

What Tom says about privacy and personal space in Germany is true, but I've found folks in small Bavarian towns to be open, gregarious, and often initiating conversations.

As an example -- a couple of weeks ago I was sitting on a bench on the lakefront in Diessen am Ammersee, a town popular with weekending Germans, but little-known to international tourists. Repeatedly folks sat on the bench next to me, and as we were watching the sailboats and swans on the lake, they would just start chatting, probably assuming I was another vacationer from elsewhere in Germany. Last year in that same town I had a delightful hour-long conversation (in German) at a gelato bar with an elderly regular customer.

@Margaret. Thanks!! We are working on his second book now.

In Italy, travel with an infant or small child. The little rock stars are your backstage pass.

LOL, Zoe! You're dead on about that! Italians LOVE wee people!

Over breakfast at a B&B is a good time to chat people up. My wife speaks the international language of charm and as a result we have lingered over many a breakfast. People in pubs in England, Ireland, Scotland are often up for a little social interaction. It's also a cultural and lack of language barrier thing in the British Isles, not just the context of the interaction. I especially found Ireland to be one country where people seemed eager to interact regardless of the context.

Ditto Zoe. I just got back from a 10 day trip with a thirteen month old. I had more conversations in franglais in 10 days than in the last 10 trips without a baby even with the reserved French. We never even had to instigate the conversations. Restaurants were the best. Our little one is an easy goer and eats everything so that prompted a lot of people to stop by our table and comment. it was quite an experience I doubt we will be able to duplicate much longer.

If you walk into an Irish pub on a Sunday and a television is on, there will be no shortage of people all to happy to explain to you the rules of the game of hurling!

Interesting, Emma. It doesn't carry the same connotation among the Americans I know who use the term.

Good heavens, I promise you we're not hitting up people in laundromats!

Another thing I've enjoyed is that my friend is a retired pattern maker and makes small plaques to giveaway. He always gives me one or two to giveaway even when we are traveling without him.

Mainly he does a small Liver bird (LFC fan) and finds someone wearing their jersey. They are always startled and then overwhelmed. I took one to give away in China.

He just finished his prototype for our trip to Barcelona. It has the facade of Sagrada Famiia and "BARCELONA" at the bottom. He'll complete four or six as give aways.

If you want to meet locals, or at least natives of the country you are visiting, skip the major tourist areas that attract an international crowd. Go instead to lesser known places where people from that country live and/or vacation. Language can be a problem in some countries, but young people overcome it instinctively. If you really want to meet others, think young.

Being willing to share a table at a café or pub is an excellent way to meet people. They might be other tourists, but perhaps from somewhere interesting. I've met French people in England, Swedish people in London, and Germans everywhere ;-)

I have more luck finding people interested in me (where I'm from and what I'm doing) if I'm somewhere truly off the beaten tourist path. That can mean a less-travelled city or in a local neighborhood of a big city where tourists don't tend to visit.

Visiting the same restaurant, café or bakery repeatedly can get the proprietors or waiters interested in you enough to ask more about you. They are used to the same locals that are repeat customers and tourists that visit once and never return. The tourist that visits repeatedly is rare.

Trains are another great place to meet people (sometimes tourists but often people returning from a business trip, day in the city or a vacation). Overnight trains are the best for this, and one reason I enjoyed taking them in my younger days (now I value actual sleep more).

I sketch when I travel and THAT generates a lot of interest. Kids, adults, locals and other tourists alike love watching me and chatting with me. I even had the gypsy kids in Rome watch me (and not try to steal from me).

Language can be a problem in some countries, but young people overcome it instinctively. If you really want to meet others, think young.

This is very true in my experience. Young people are more curious about others and more willing to try their English. Many want to chat just to practice their English.

Incidentally, I was recently reading a sort of "serious discussion" in a national newspaper here in Netherlands about how trains stopped being a prime socialization space because more than 60% of passengers during weekdays are engaged with some gadget. Apparently, according to some native Dutch that have lived here far longer than myself, trains used to be an "equalizing space" where people from different walks of life, professions, income level, religion etc. would often met casually and socialize a bit, whereas now everyone is more self-absorbed.

Not that I agree with the argument this is necessarily negative, personally I'm not keen on small random chats with strangers and I absolutely love the ability of have Internet on my hands when traveling, waiting in line etc.

This is very true in my experience. Young people are more curious about others and more willing to try their English. Many want to chat just to practice their English.

One of my cousins met his Chinese wife that way. He was doing a semester abroad in Beijing, they both signed up for a 'practice your English with American speakers' club at the university they were both attending and after a few club meetings, it all just clicked for them.

I agree with Roy, leave the beaten path, instead of using maps ask directions to locals. Last week I stayed in a little village a bit north-west of Chartres and talked with the B&B owners about their guests. They had once “Americains” and came every year to France and stayed only in little B&B’s in the countryside, but in different regions to get in contact with the locals and discovered step by step the country and were throughout the years very well seasoned and informed. We agreed that´s the right spirit to travel!

So be a bit adventurious, get lost a bit if you know what I mean, look a bit further than what the tourist industry wants you to believe there is. You will likely not discover the exciting things everybody looks for, but to me it’s very rewarding to make my own discoveries and still there are hidden gems, lovely places making worth the effort to look for. And in the meanwhile you learn the language and getting more involved in what you can experience and having chats with locals.

It´s more a matter of "thinking young" , having an open mind, it really helps!

Well, quite often I eat at a e. g. Frankfurt restaurant and I realize there are some Americans at the next table. Sometimes I'd just love to get into a conversation with them but don't want to interrupt.

Then when I'm traveling I find it easier to just approach a person at a restaurant because I can always start with "excuse me, I'm not from here, could you help me find/find out..."

Personally I believe there are a lot of people who would just enjoy a conversation with a stranger - they just don't know how to start it.

Short answer, walk into any small town Irish pub. I'll bet you can't stay out of a conversation. Ireland, particularly small town Ireland, is like visiting relatives you like but haven't seen in years - every one wants to catch up.

In one small town, a roofer explained to me how to install different roofing materials. In another, a local guy showed me how to play his bodhran (drum). In a crowded Limerick IRA pub, I discussed military rules of engagement and Geneva conventions with an IRA commander.

"Well, quite often I eat at a e. g. Frankfurt restaurant and I realize there are some Americans at the next table. Sometimes I'd just love to get into a conversation with them but don't want to interrupt."

Andreas, I think I can safely say that most of us would welcome a local resident who wanted to chat, and would not consider it an interruption at all!

Sometimes I'll use my camera as an opener and simply ask if I may take a photo of someone, in my experience they are usually flattered, and that leads to some pleasant words being exchanged. Like these guys.

Short answer, walk into any small town Irish pub. I'll bet you can't stay out of a conversation. Ireland, particularly small town Ireland, is like visiting relatives you like but haven't seen in years - every one wants to catch up.

I found the Irish to be very interested in where in the US you're from (I figure than most have some relatives over here)and if you or your family name appear to be of Irish descent they try to figure out whether you're related to someone local. I also found interesting how much they seem to enjoy talking about the weather - either as an icebreaker, or because their livelihood is driven to some extent by the weather.

You could also travel on the eve of a presidential election. In September of 2012 we were surprised by the number of Europeans who approached us and initiated conversation. Surprisingly again, it usually began with, "So who are you voting for?"

The reverse story today while sucking down a Cold Smoke and noshing on bar food at one of our local colorful establishments after a solid hike. I noticed foreign tourists....you know, the ones peering at maps and shuffling through local tourist brochures while drinking tea....yes tea. I approach and inquire about their vacation. A lengthy conversation ensues and I learned while they expertly planned to visit all attractions and even included a well-known cafe known for great breakfasts, they had totally overlooked our great ice cream parlour. Void corrected.

Bruce, Was that at the Bulldog?

@Monte. No, it was not the Bulldog, which is one of my favorite bars. Sounds like you may have enjoyed a brew there and understand the humorous nature of the police report from a lady offended by what she saw in the restroom...filed each year by her. Returning to your question, it was yet another colorful watering hole, the Bierstube, located on Big Mountain.

Yes, we visited the Bulldog with a young Romanian woman, last October, who was a little aghast when she came out of the women's room

Aside from all the obvious ways many before me have mentioned (learning some of the local language, a festival/bar/pub atmosphere works, etc are all great things), and some of the more innovative ones (the person who lets their dog make the friends-good one!), I think as a woman it's easy to wear conversation pieces. I am naturally extremely shy, in every language, but managed to get conversations/friends/people to come to me and start talking first by wearing something you don't see every day. Sometimes it's a poncho from the 60s some Persian hippie aunt left, sometimes it's homemade bell-bottoms, in my teens it was definitely raver pants and wigs, sometimes it's this jangly Afghani bracelet that I picked up at a flea market in Rome, but certain things just draw conversation to you. As a kid in Turkey who spoke no Turkish I used to make friends by painting my nails like the American flag and I guess the tactic never stops working! Plus, as a woman, I think you'll never have a problem :)

Walking around singing seems to make me a lot of friends too, especially songs that were popular worldwide, like Beatles songs, etc....(by that logic Tiziano Ferro songs would work but I'd rather not think about that).

Maybe things like that just make you look friendly and approachable rather than standoffish.....even if your face is always stuck in a notebook or a novel....in fact, there's a recipe:

Be female
Wear conversation piece (non revealing is more interesting-glitter is awesome and carrying it around means sharing glitter with new friends)
Know a few words of local language (at least understand a little) or be in a place like Amsterdam where it truly doesn't matter
Go to public social place like pub, bar, coffeeeshop, cafe, etc

Usually this is enough but for those of us who truly have trouble:

Don't play with your damn cellphone (picture taking is fine, being engrossed in your texts or facebook for an hour is not)
Order a drink/joint/snack/whatever thing the place you're at has
Read a paperback or write in your notebook for 5-25 min.

They will come to you. Many will be flirting, some will not be, many will just be curious. Good fun will ensue :)

I don't really think it's that different for guys except the stuff about glitter and wigs and bracelets, but I think guys probably have to buy more drinks than we do.

In countries where the exchange rate works to your favor or tipping is not common, tip a cool bartender, and well....instant friendship!