Want to end a trip early

Can you just plan to use the point-point tickets, but knock off the extra side trips so that you can relax a bit in just one spot without needing to move around so much? Maybe use the time in the hostel to see if anyone else is going in the same direction as you or on the same train. Perhaps you can travel together or at least get some tips about where you are going next. You have asked for some help to talk you out of it, so it looks like most of us are chiming in with some suggestions that might appeal to you. Do you have a journal? Try writing down the things that have gone right each day. I bet they far outweigh the things that have gone bad. I can't tell you how many times I have jumped on the wrong trains, once ending up in Aschaffenburg, when I thought I was going to Cologne. And I read German. It makes for good stories, as it has happened to all of us. You aren't experiencing anything weird or unusual, just that they have happened all at one time, so they are way up high on your experience list. Do some positive things that will make the negative stuff not seem so important. What do you like to do the most? Have a good meal, go swimming, visit museums, or a concert, or just sit in a library and read? You don't have to do the tourist stuff. Now, go do it.

You have received some good suggestions regarding how to try to deal with your anxiety, as that is what it appears you really want to do and not just give in to it. You say that you feel comfortable in London and Winchester, so my suggestion is to go there for now and see how you feel after a little time there. Whether you lose money on point to point tickets by changing your plans or by going home early doesn't matter. Don't look at it as money lost, look at it as just one of those things. You might find that after a bit of time where you are in your comfort zone you will feel more confident to salvage a portion of your trip. If that happens, slow down. Don't try to see it all at once. We all have challenges when it comes to traveling. The trick is to roll with the punches and remember that mistakes can become some of your best travel stories.

You are going to some wonderful places. You are only a week in and by our own admission things have gone wrong but that is not to say the rest of the trip may not be great. Traveling is very stressful and while I sort of understand you wanting to pack it in, I think it may be something you will very much regret. Can you not recall why you planned a long trip, these places etc? You must have had your reasons and to do an about face so soon into your holiday seems a terrible shame to me. I really have no specific advice but would encourage you to reconsider.

This is my college graduation trip. I wanted to see the highlights, with the idea of coming back another time and exploring deeper, ex. the rest of the Veneto. Thats part of the problem I planned too much.

Richard, I am not sure what is going on, but you do sound like you are suffering with some anxiety issues. May I ask what exactly is it about staying in hostels that is adding stress. Do you have hostels prebooked, or are you seeking accomadation at each destination as you go? So you have put yourself in an unsure situation every few days?
Do you feel this trip can be salvaged if you could change trip plan, perhaps eliminating all those places, choosing one or two and spending some time online and prebook places to stay. Or , deep down do you really think you need to go home, which is a big step, but perhaps what needs to happen for you personally? If you think you just need to rework plan then lets try doing that, I think you need to put money issue aside and concentrate on what is going to soothe you right now though. I know it sounds a bit off, but really , in 5 years you are not going to care about losing 500 dollars in train tickets, where as an emotional breakdown in a foriegn country with no friends or family around to support you may leave a bigger scar. I really wish I could help more, but come back and tell us what you think you need to do right now and perhaps we can help . Best wishes.

richard, I have to totally agree with you on one thing,, you have got a VERY amibitious itinerary . Why not pare it down,, as I said, remember what really matters when you look back will be enjoying what you do see, not forcing yourself into a Bataan Death March.

I just think that even if things get better, they will get worse again. So far that has been the case. Even if I can manage the anxiety I don't think I want to manage it. Going home I would't have to deal with it.

Sometimes when I have been away a while it all gets to me, so I try to return to a place that I have already been, and it feels like a bit of comfort or home while abroad. Uncomplicate your trip and see if that helps. Unless you really just can't stay, I think that would be one of the biggest regrets of my life. You never know when you might get the opportunity again. Maybe this is some kind of lesson??? (cut down on caffine... makes anxiety worse:))

Hi, I am glad you're NOT homesick. On my first trip (the longest for 12 weeks, solo) or any of the others I was never homesick, yearning to come back to San Francisco and the Bay Area. Think of it this way: who has not gotten lost walking around tracking a sight, with or without a map, missed a train or a connection, or missed a train stop because you overslept your stop, or even getting on the wrong train (I did that once). They happen, sometimes your fault, sometimes not. It's good you're staying at hostels. The main problem I see there is the matter of security, how to protect yourself from theft. If that has not been a concern, everything else falls into place. As suggested, I would recommend skipping a few places to ease the hectic aspect, drop Grimmelwald and Cinque Terre. That's my biased suggestion. You have to decide as to which places now to omit from this planned itinerary. With those discounted, non-refundable point to point tickets for the rest of the trip, I can see why you feel trapped. You decide whether it's worth it next time to travel that way. Bottom line here...stay and do the rest of the trip, enjoy it. If you don't, you might just regret it when looking back, regardless how you attempt to rationalise the decision to cut it short and leave. Maybe change the itnerary and go Munich or, better still, Berlin. Now that's place to go before heading off to Vienna.

Hi Richard, there is no need to feel trapped into something that IS changeable. Yes, you may loose a bit of money by not using those non-refundable train tickets and just staying a bit longer in a place. But what you gain in peace of mind and enjoyment of the opportunities at hand is priceless. I tend to pack too much into my trips to Europe as well. Mostly visits of friends and family in my case. But the effects can be similar. The last time I went, I realized for the first time that many visits also mean many good-byes. After a week I just couldn't handle it anymore and in tears I called people to cancel visits. It was a very hard decision but I felt so much more at peace afterwards. And was able to enjoy the rest of my time there. Good luck in making the right decision for YOU!

Richard, I feel very bad for you. I understand travel anxiety, having suffered it myself. There doesn't need to be a reason- it arrives unepcpectedly and illogically. I will say that if you cave in to it, you may find it impossible to go away again, so please do try to get it under control. Can you get yourself to a doctor who could rescribe some very mild sedative, just to break the pattern? If you can feel a bit calmer, then maybe you can try to rationalise things. I think most travellers get lost, miss trains etc- but you're still safe at the end and maybe get to see something you wouldn't otherwise have seen. Would you be happier if you just explored one area (I think you mentioned Veneto)? That would give you some stability. Are you in touch with your folks at home? What do they say? Don't give in. I'm pretty sure you'll regret it. Good luck!

Richard, there is no question that traveling solo in a foreign land is stressful. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel and do whatever you need to do. Including coming home early if that's what it takes. I suspect most of us have had the experience of watching ourselves slide helplessly into the bad-travel head space, ruled by feelings of failure and regret. If we are lucky something helps to bring us out of that. If not we have to do it for ourselves. Why not try some of the suggestions others are making on this list for at least a few days. Think of it as a recovery period. Upgrade to a private room for a few days. Simplify the itinerary a bit. If that leaves you out of pocket for some train tickets (some of them would still be good, right?), small price to pay. Give yourself permission. In your place I would not necessarily skip the CT or Gimmelwald, in fact a little unstructured bucolic breathing room might be just the thing. But do what seems best to you. Finally, flesh out the coming-home alternative in your mind. Check out last-minute airfares back. Another option is to shorten, but not end, the trip. I suspect you might feel bad if you leave early, but getting all the information will put you back in charge of things, which could help you to a better head space and salvage your trip. Best of luck to you.

I have moved to a private room and looked into flights home. I have also considered flying to London and waiting for my friends to meet me. London wit NYC is my favorite city and I feel at home there. Or I might try the town of Winchester, my faverite place in the UK outside of London. That might be calming. I tried looking into going from Venice to The CT and then on to Paris but in my state now, those arrangments are too complocated to think about.

I was on a trip and had some similar setbacks/disasters. I was ready to throw in the towel but was convinced to forge ahead. Things settled down and looking back I would have regretted giving up. I had some of my best experiences after I decided to stick it out. You'll get in your travel groove soon enough. Wait it out.

I am kind of with Ralph on this one, I rather think this is a tad more then "travel anxiety" due to a few setbacks, and perhaps Ralphs suggestion of going home to deal with it may be best suggestion based on what I am feeling coming through Richards postings. He is not a total newbie to travel so some of these set backs are things he has dealt with before, but for some reason is having alot more trouble with now.
Richard, phone someone who cares about you, your family or close friend, and don't push yourself past your limits. Be good to yourself.

I have booked a flight from Prague to London, where I will stay until my friends arrive. I think this is a good compromise. When I do get home I will seek help for my problems. Thank you for all the replies.They have been very helpful so far.

It's interesting you're dwelling on what can go wrong, it sounds like you're an experienced traveler and know how to deal with the differences in culture and language. What you may be feeling could be loneliness. It's one thing to travel with friends or family it's quite another to do it alone. Both have their pros and cons and being alone in a foriegn country can become overwhelming. And I'll be honest here, it's very different for a male to travel alone than for a female, as a male people may be less likely to strike up a conversation or invite you to join them. Not havng someone to talk to can make a situation seem worse than it really is. Age will play into this also though I don't know how old you are, as an older male it is even less likely one will find people to share a day with. As far as being trapped, you're only as trapped as you want to be, we all make financial decisions that at one point seemed sound, but sometimes things don't work out quite like we planned. Here is something to think about, even if you go to where you bought the point to point tickets and still feel the same way it's a no win situation. By that I mean if you don't use the tickets and lose the money and go where you'd planned but still feel the same way losing the money by not going is not such a big deal any longer. Hope that makes sense. Since you do have time on your side and if you're feeling lonely I have a suggestion, have you ever heard of a program called Pueblo Ingles? It's an english immersion program where native english speakers interact and talk to Spaniards. The program provides room and board for the native english speakers, all you have to do is make your way to Madrid. Contact them to see if they have any last minute openings, I've done it twice and both times they needed people at the last minute. I'll PM their website or just google that name, it's a fun program, the age range is 18-80.

Richard, I hope you feel better once you get to London. Being in a place where you feel comfortable will help you determine how much of your anxiety is due to travel, as opposed to something more serious. If after being in London a few days you don't feel better, maybe going home would be in your best interest. Only you can judge that. Also the recommendation to talk to people who really know you might be helpful if you don't improve.

Glad you're going to London to wait for your friends. I think the common language and familiarity will help you. I know that I also like to go back to places I have previously travelled to. Somehow, it just feels good and right. Take time to sit and relax. Maybe go to a park or a church and just take it all in. On the next trip, you might want to consider travelling through the countryside instead of large cities. Take care and tell us how you are doing. Remember, the museums in London are free. Have fun!

I think you found a reasonable solution by heading to London and staying there, but now you have to get back on track. The tickets you bought for the other places are done: a sunk cost that you shouldn't even think about any more. If you feel angry over that, the best advice I can give is to forgive yourself. Things don't always go like clockwork and there is nothing that you can do about any of it any more. There is no point in stressing out about it, or feeling bad. So, now you are in London. What can you do to make your time there enjoyable? Don't let a mistake in the past take away from your time right now and in the future. If you need to take it easy for a bit, do it and explore the local neighborhood you are staying in. Screw the tourist sights. Find the local pub and become a regular. Find a soccer field and play some pick up games with the local blokes. Do nothing at all. Once you feel centered again, then get back to the business of seeing the things you want to see in London and meeting up with your friends.

I've got to agree with Pat and Ralph on this. You are not in a condition to keep on traveling. Something is going on with your body and ignoring it by staying in Europe might set you back even more. Go home. Get better. Do not apologize to anyone about missing the rest of your trip. Do not go on any more trips until you are better.
Your well-being is far more important than losing some money on non-refundable tickets.

I agree that if you really feel you need to chuck it all in for your mental health, you should do so with no apologies. But before you take that step, think a bit more about what is causing the anxiety. It may not be the travel at all. It could be the fact that you just graduated from college. You focused so long on that one goal, and now, boom, there's the rest of your life stretching in front of you. What the hell are you supposed to do about that??!! Yikes! Sometimes just realizing what is the source will relieve a lot of the stress. Since you're in London now, see if you can get a session or two with a mental health counselor. Perhaps you can just get a screening appt without being on the National Health. Good luck. Take a deep breath.

When in the UK why not give these people a call and talk to someone about how you are feeling? Completely anonymous and non-judgemental. http://www.samaritans.org/talk_to_someone.aspx

I agree with those who say to do whatever you need to do to feel better. On the next trip, don't plan too much and B&Bs are less stressful than hostels. The anxiety you're feeling may have a physical cause so see your Doctor at the first opportunity.

I'm not a psychologist but I am a bit of an armchair shrink and it sounds to me like you are having some acute anxiety, maybe with or without panic attacks, that are being triggered by the travel, if not exactly caused by the travel, if that makes sense. I think your current plan is a good one. I don't agree with the people who say you just have to run home right now. Play it by ear. Once you get yourself in a more familiar setting you may feel a lot better. Remind yourself that travel anxiety is normal, as are transit mishaps. I live here and I make mistakes all the time. It's normal. The difference is in perception of the mistakes - how you interpret them in your own self-narrative, and how you let the mistakes create a downward spiral of bad feelings. The one thing I would do, once you get to a major city, is try to see a psychologist, particularly if you're having major panic attacks (and it sounds like you might be?).

I won't give advice, because I know what it's like to be in situations like you describe. So instead of advice, I'll just give my experience 33 years ago. I had planned an open-ended trip all over Europe on a budget, with a Eurail pass. I anticipated 2-3 months. I moved around a lot (2-3 days per city all over western Europe). After just a week or so I was a little down, tired, and lonely. SO I started to contemplate how short to cut the trip. Things got better, then worse, the better. Finally after a month or so I arranged a return flight 2 weeks later, which made it 6 weeks total. When I left cold weather had started, and I was really cold and tired and glad to be heading home. Less time than I had planned, but still a lot, and I saw a huge amount, had amazing experiences, and lost no money by an early return except for the unexpired part of my Eurail pass. The funny thing is, the day after returning home, having had a good night's sleep at a relative's house, I wanted to return immediately. Well, it was about 5 years before my next trip to Europe, but since then my wife and I have gone about 25 times. So do what's best for you; you're young and have plenty of time. But make sure you really really need to go home if you decide to do that.

Managing a solo trip for an extended period of time is challenging in its own right. Bogging yourself down with a complicated itinerary you feel you must stick to so you don't lose money on prepaid things like tickets or lodging (to the point it makes you admittedly feel "trapped") can lead to physical or, in your case, mental exhaustion. After less than 2 months into a 1 year round the world trip I got physically worn out from pushing myself too hard to see more than anyone should try to fit into a travel schedule. I had to see a doctor to get antibiotics and had reached my limit of bunking in hostels sleeping on lousy mattresses with people snoring & flipping on lights at all hours of the night. I lost money on an airline ticket & a hostel deposit at my next intended destination, but plunked down a credit card & checked into a nice beachfront hotel. I slept late & laid on the beach for a week. Then I revised my itinerary: No more than 1 big sight per day, slow down, mix hotels with hostels. It's good that you were able to step back and take a look at rearranging your plans to alleviate some anxiety without going back home & possibly kicking yourself later for having waved a white flag too soon. Use your time in London to relax & do absolutely nothing for awhile. This could be anywhere from a few days to more than a week. If you need privacy because you can't deal with a bunk in a 6-share hostel dorm right now, then come to terms with the fact you'll exceed your lodging budget, but don't apologize for a private room. If you start to find you want to meet people close to your age to hang with after you feel a little better, then the hostel may be appealing later; or you could try couch surfing as you don't necessarily have to stay with any of the locals that are members, but some of them may offer to meet you for a drink or a meal. Good luck!

:) That's great. So, even if you do nothing more than wander around and breathe in the English air I would rather be where you are. Lay around, watch some British TV, have a beer and enjoy what it is.

How are you doing Richard? I wondered the same thing that Karen mentioned, that maybe it's to do with graduating.
If you're still not doing so well, Linda's idea to call Samaritans is a good one. Anyway- I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Hey Richard! Are you in London? Get back to us so we know you're o.k.

I am in London. I found a room through airbnb, so I'm in a private flat. Its a bit early to tell but I think I'm starting to feel better. I think I did the right thing by coming here. Maybe I can take some day trips or something a little later on. Thanks everyone for the replies.

My advice is to find the nearest red light district and relieve some tension.

Really glad to hear you're feeling a bit better Richard and Thanks for letting us know.
Rik in Vicenza! Tsk, tsk! Only kidding. I was in your beautiful city a couple of weeks ago.

It's so good to hear from you, Richard. If you want to take a nice, short day trip you could go to Windsor Castle or Hampton Court. For Windsor Castle, when you get off of the train, you walk into the small town a little ways and then the castle is there. You can take a tour of the castle. It's enlightening to be in a castle that is still being used today. For Hampton Court, the train line ends right there and then the castle is on the other side of the bridge. Very easy to get to. You can walk through at your own pace and use headphones for the tour. The grounds are also very beautiful. In London, the British Museum, where the Rosetta Stone is, is free and the National Gallery is also free. You can use their headphones with a donation. Have a great time and relax.

My suggestion is to go to St. Paul's or Westminster Abbey, not for religious experience but for the peace and quiet or the same for any other church. So glad you are feeling better!!! Keep us informed please.