Up Close and Personal

Hi Diane,
... If you enjoy meeting strangers in Maine, you will enjoy it in Europe too. Keep in mind that many Europeans want the opportunity to practice their English, and you are perfect for that - and very friendly, too. I think it works best if you show more interest in the other person's wants and needs than your own (a 90-10 split would be about right).
... bon voyage, Diane! ... P

I think the contacts are the key...they're his "passport" to all those neat things he gets to do. I have been lucky enough to develop personal friendships with people in many cities through business and education opportunities, and they most kindly share their lives with me when I visit. I've been to family reunion dinners, weddings, local festivals, private wine-tastings, etc....all because my friends are good enough to drag me along with them. It's tough to do as a "tourist," though, since you're rarely in one location anywhere long enough to develop these relationships. One option might be to search out sites for "family stays," where local families open their homes to visitors. It's paid accommodation, but gives you the chance to meet with "real" locals. Some countries also have "meet the locals" events or contact lists. Some "couch surfing" websites (for free accomodations in someone's home) also allow the option of just meeting their members for coffee or a tour of a particular spot. Another option might be to search for internet and e-mail "penpal" sites to develop friendships in countries and cities you'd like to visit. Of course, reciprocity, and regular contact, are the keys in nurturing these relationships. Let us know how this turns out for you!

My Father and I were in Ireland last May and never dreamed that we would have such a wonderful time. My husband couldn't go and we had rented a car ...staying out in the country in a house we rented. I inquired about a driver because I didn't want to miss the sights... The owners of the house said they knew someone.....

Turns out the "driver" was their brother...a prominent local radio talk show host who was semi-retired and quite well known. My Father and I fell in love with "Tommy". He wasn't a tour guide but a local who showed us where he was born...where his grandmother herded sheep and gave birth to a son alone in the mountains ....

We were sooo priveleged to ride 1500 miles with Tommy. Car rides make for great times IF you enjoy the company.... and the tour was a truly a once in a lifetime experience. He took us places we would never have found on our own and we weren't herded into the local tourist traps.

When we parted, Tommy told us he didn't want to be paid because the week had been quite wonderful for him too!

Yes, Rick has lots of contacts and advance planning for his videos. But he discusses some ways to break the ice with locals in ETBD. His key piece of advice is that you have to be an extrovert, even if you're not. Talk to strangers. Be willing to engage in conversation.

Some tricks that have worked for me:

Carry postcards of your hometown - so you can show where you live. It's a great conversation starter (especially when you live in a place that has volcanos).

Share food, buy drinks at a bar (in the old days, offer a cigarette).

Sit (or stand) at cafe bars, not tables. Find reasons to ask questions - always first asking in the local language if they speak English.

Look for posters of local events that might be taking place that evening and go. I once spent a great afternoon watching boat jousting in Villefrance sur Mer.

Don't expect to be warmly embraced and invited home for dinner. Most Europeans guard that level of intimacy. But to gain a cheerful conversation and some pointers for local restarants - and quite possibly the "come on! I"ll show you!" extend yourself to find ways to get conversations going.

My husband smokes and is an extrovert. He is always making new friends wherever we go. He'll go outside to smoke and disappear forever, because he's been busy talking to new people. He's also not afraid to ask "stupid" questions about the area or peoples' lives, whereas I have a hard time with that (and do more research than he does before we go.)

I found a lot of people love to tell stories about themselves and their county. They seem to be more open if on vacation too. People love to have a good listener. Be sure to show interest in what they are telling you and ask questions.

1. Visit smaller towns that aren't as heavily impacted by tourism. Residents of such places are generally more interested in visitors from America if they haven't already met thousands of them, and they are more likely to be impressed that you have chosen to visit their town.

2. Stay in small, family-run B&B's; I'd say more than 5 or 6 rooms is too big. I've had lots of interesting conversations with the hosts of such places - people who typically have lived there most of their lives and enjoy sharing the pride they feel about their town with you. But if they're too busy with their operation, you won't get their ear.

3. Don't expect "intimate". Europeans are more reserved when it comes to friendships - they'll normally be very talkative and friendly but you are unlikely to reach the status of "friend", which usually requires many years of contact.

4. Speak the language. Europeans will generally reward you with more conversation time just for trying.

Russ, I couldn't agree more, particularly in regard to speaking some of the language.

Some of my best experience have been conversing at the breakfast table, or at dinner at a pension where you sit at the same table with the same people every night. In many of those small towns in Germany, the people don't speak any English, so my speaking Ein Bißchen Deutsch made the experience memorable.

Also, due to the custom in Europe (at least in Germany) of sharing tables with strangers, I have had an opportunity to meet many locals in restaurants.