Un-Married but Posing?

Wouldn't worry about that. We travelled as boyfriend and girlfriend to Krakow 20 years ago when there still was a Polish pope alive and nobody blinked an eye. And from what my Polish sister-in-law is telling me the country hasn't become "more catholic" since.

I had that same concern years ago and we wore fake rings just in case. Since then, we haven't had any problems though; just went to Krakow last summer and had no hassles at all. I think the biggest concern would be in Italy and other similar countries where you might be interested in renting inexpensive rooms at convents or other religious facilities.

I don't wear a ring. My wife does, but while I gave it to her at our wedding, it looks nothing like a conventional band. Nobody's said squat.

We sometimes travel with a couple who isn't married. ????

Why would anybody care, anyway?

Sounds vaguely like the plot of one of Britain's greatest comedies, the brilliant "Spaced". Except there, it's a non-couple pretending to be a "professional couple" so they can rent a choice flat. Here's episode 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHc0VDdhXVQ

And no, you won't have any trouble as an unmarried couple. They don't care if you have a ring on your finger, they care that you have money in your wallet.

Before I was married, I even stayed at a parish guest house in Vilnius with a female friend. Nobody raised an eyebrow.

Well, Ed, evidently some people do care. As my friends were traveling in Italy and, as they were young and unmarried, they were sent to separate sleeping quarters in their hostel. I didn't think it would be a hassle in most places we are going, but was unsure about Poland specifically. Thanks everyone!!

MD, did they stay at a HI hostel? They always have separate dorms for men and women (though not so sure about private rooms).

Generally you should be fine, just avoid HI hostels (they are generally dull, sparse, and have the strictest rules).

To ease your mind about Krakow, I stayed at the Tom and Greg hostel in Krakow, had the room to myself when I fell asleep, woke up in the morning with the rest of the room filled with guys. No big deal. Amazing hostel by the way, I recommend it if your still looking for a place.

Hostel dorms are a whole different ball game. Dorm rooms are often segregated according to gender. As hostels are getting modernized and offer more smaller rooms for couples and families those are open for mixed-gender groups. And they are open to married and unmarried couples. But if dorms are designated for single gender a marriage certificate won't get you in either.

Only problem you would have would be in some islamic countries.

MD, I think it might be a factor of the particular hostel. My wife doesn't like them, so we generally stay in one only if that's all that is available. I stay in them quite a bit when traveling solo. I seem to wind up in a mixed dorm as often as not.

JB wrote "Only problem you would have would be in some islamic countries. "

Not in Jordan. We got to the hotel in Petra that our small private tour had reserved for us. The receptionist proudly informed us they had saved the their best room for us - the honeymooner. When we explained we weren't a couple, they reluctantly downgraded us to a regular room with twin beds.

MD we have never stayed in Hostels but…. My Wife and I attend a very conservative Christian church. One of the customs that was brought with our ancestors from Germany/Switzerland, and we still practice, is no jewelry. None of our members wear wedding rings and in our communities people know this and it is never really an issue. We went to Scotland in 2005 and the first three B & B’s we stayed in we got the two twin bed rooms. We just assumed that all of the rooms were this way to make them more flexible. When we were in Sterling we talked to our very nice hosts and he asked where our next stops were. We told them we were going up north to Orkney and he advised that we stay in as large of towns as possible. We asked if this was for amenities or why because we really like the countryside and scenery. He explained that it was a lot more conservative in the northern countryside and that most of the people wouldn’t agree with our “American Ways” and may not give us a room. My wife was very embarrassed about this but we did explain that we had been married for 4 years. We didn’t have any problems the rest of the trip but we did notice the way they treated us was different. Needless to say my wife went out and got a small band that she wears when we are on vacation. We have not had any issues since in trips to Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Italy, France, Haiti. I think James makes a good point in that they will see on your passport that you are not married. Just some input from someone who has noticed being treated a little different because of the appearance of not being married. Good Luck and Enjoy your trip.

Vis-a-vis the names on your passports (referencing above posts), it reveals nothing. There are plenty of men who don't take their wife's last name when getting married. My husband didn't, nor did I take his. So we have different last names on our passports but it doesn't make us any less married. And we've never had an issue, either.

Many hostels now have private rooms for families/couples...doesn't matter if you're married...can't imagine why they would ask. On a related note...Unfortunately, LGBT travelers might not be as welcome or well-received when looking for a shared room in very conservative and/or rural parts of some countries, even if they are legally married (former East for example). I guess some places aren't quite as progressive as Iowa. I certainly wouldn't go to the trouble of faking anything with a ring...why should you have to? Happy travels!

James, Munich might be very liberal but Bavaria is the most conservative part of Germany. The countryside is quite different from Munich. I'm aware that nudity in spas is commonplace, but I don't think that nudity equals sex, especially in a public European bath house. But some more conservative folks might have a problem with a young couple together behind closed doors with a bed.

Nate, its a shame that your wife was embarrassed. But I probably would have been too! Obviously people have different values and beliefs and you can't really know about all of them ahead of time.

Angela, agreed on the subject of passports. Even if I were married I would still have the last name I have right now. And so would my partner.

It may seem like an absurd question to some, judging by some of your responses. I don't plan on heading over to Europe assuming that they have the same customs as North America. I, personally, don't think marriage is necessary. But I understand that that makes some people uncomfortable.

"There are plenty of men who don't take their wife's last name when getting married."

You mean there are men who DO take their wife's last name when getting married? (had to ask)

@Tom: It's actually probably more common than you think. I've heard of men who have changed to their wives' names to carry on the family name (i.e., if the wife has no brothers/male cousins) or because the wife's name is preferred for some reason--say switching from Wyzerflocker to Greene.

@Liz: I think that would make Mr. Greene the only guy at the Friday night poker game with a maiden name.

Women voting in Switzerland since 1971, women hyphenating surnames, now men taking wife's surname. This place is coming apart at the seams. What's next...cats and dogs getting along?

:)

Seriously, it shouldn't be anyone's business if a man decides to take his wife's last name for any reason. He can always bring his poker chips in his European shoulder bag. :)

hehe - I wrote that a little tongue in cheek, but as Liz notes, there actually have been instances of a man taking his wife's last name. Google "man takes wife's last name" and all sorts of interesting stories come up.

When my partner and I went to Austria, Italy and Ireland in 2008, it never occurred to us that being unmarried could be an issue. Fortunately, it wasn't.

WHOA! You mean we didn't have to get married?!?