Travelling solo

Hi Stew, your trip sounds terrific to me. You will have a blast!

I recently found couchsurfing.com. While it's predominantly used by young people looking for a free couch to sleep on, I was pleasantly surprised to find (some) profiles of mature adults & adult couples (my age!) who are open to meeting fellow world travelers for coffee.

My first impression was indifference to meeting total strangers for forced conversation, but found profiles of people who I would love to talk to for an hour or so. I've had so many delightful conversations with total strangers at dinner, I realized this would be just as cool.

One last pitch, I instantly dismissed this as something unsafe or only for single 20-somethings but have warmed to it, although you MUST be cautious and prudent. I would not worry about meeting people for coffee. I would select people who have good references from people who also have good references. (See website for explanation.) I think meeting couples would be safer, but as a man you have less to worry about.

Disclaimer: I have not done this yet, but plan to on my next trip to Florence..

Stew,

You received lots of good tips and encouragement so far. I have a few thoughts on the subject as well.

I'm 55+ and also travel solo most of the time. However, lately I've been combining a RS tour with an equal amount of solo travel and that's been fantastic so far.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of travel for me is the complete freedom to go where I want and see those sites that are of most interest to me, without having to worry about anyone else. Solo travel provides that, but I can also day tour with others if desired.

Regarding the alcohol, everyone handles this a bit differently. I've found that I can have a glass or two of wine early in the flight, but after that I limit myself to the occasional coffee and of course lots of water (I always buy a bottle of water in the departure area to supplement that provided on the flight).

I've also experienced many comments from friends, family and co-workers on travelling solo, and received many puzzled looks from other people after they've asked why I'm alone. The impression I've often had is that they feel that anyone that actually chooses to travel alone "must have something wrong with them". I tend to ignore these comments, and refuse to allow others to dictate which travel method is best for me.

I tend to mix Hostel stays with budget Hotels (often those listed in Rick's books), as I like a few nights of privacy once in a while. I've found that it's easy to meet people in the smaller Hotels as well (especially at breakfast time).

I think it's normal to have a few "pre-trip jitters" before a trip. That happens to me as well. I sometimes begin to doubt whether I really want to go on the trip. However when departure day comes and I'm seated on the plane, the adventure begins and the apprehension disappears!

I carry a Cell Phone so that I can maintain contact with family, mostly via text messages (quite inexpensive).

Hope you have a great time on your trip!

What types of places are you staying in, Stew? The Let's go books have a great quote in them, "You're only as alone as you want to be." I've done the solo backpacking thing several times, and really found that quote to be true.

I'd recommend avoiding hotels, and private apt rentals, and go for some of the recommended hostels, B&B's and pensions - naywhere more relaxed where folks gather for meals or breakfast. A home stay might be nice as well!

I was in my 30's when I did my solo trips, but some of the friends/travel partners I made were your age, and they were really enjoying themselves mostly using hostels. Hope that helps! :)

PS - When homesickness strikes, I always find a good call to a random friend back home helps. It's a nice surprise for you, and them. Good travels! :) Chris

Thanks Chris

I will mostly stay at hostels. That is a good way to meet folks and have had the best experiences doing that(hostels are not for everyone, plus I hate spending money just to sleep)

Once I get going I will be ok.
My family is not into this type of travelling so I just do it myself.
I feel a little selfish doing this but they don't want to do come.

I love traveling solo. I'm free to do what I want, when I want and how I want.

I also find that I must be more outgoing traveling that way. If you're waiting on line, reach out to any other solo travelers. Quite often, they're looking for someone to talk to or spend time with but may be too shy, or scared, to start a conversation.

I'm around your age and have never found it scary. Tiring, at times. Lonely, occasionally, but that's when I try to be more outgoing.

I also find taking walking tours, given in English, seem to attract solo travelers.

Get plenty of rest. NOt just arriving rested. Being too tired can have an affect on your mental and emotional well being--especially during the stress of traveling. Get enough sleep--it's your schedule you can do what you want. Every week or two, take a day off just to relax. And remember, at 52 you won't have the same energy you had as a teenager. If you get tired, there's no shame in going back to your hotel to rest. There's no shame in spending the evening in relaxing, reading, and resting up for the next day of travel.

Don't let your friends discourage you. Many of my friends think I'm nuts for traveling alone. But then, most of them think a perfect vacation is lying on a beach for a week, or renting the same beach house year after year. Or the ones that brag they're going on their 10th cruise--to the same places they've basically been before. No thanks. Not for me.

Stop over analyzing. Stop worrying. Be flexible and you'll have a great time.

Thanks Frank
I appreciate that.
I can't agree more about those beach holidays.

I have done the cruise and the all inclusive resorts to appease my family but I just hate it. If all you do there is eat and drink 24/7 that is not for me.

I biked solo across Austria 2 years ago from German boarder to Viennia and I am still thinking how rewarding that was. That was the best experience that I think I ever had.

Getting rest is so important. I don't do all night train rides anymore as I don't sleep and it just ruins my next day. I guess as a teenage you recover from that more quickly.

Plus limiting the wine and beer is probably a good idea. I don't recover from that as good either. However, the beer in Belgium is suposed to be real good.

Hi Kim

That is what it must be just pre trip jitters. It is not like I am not experienced with traveling alone and have done Europe 4 times alone.
I do really like it. And have met great people.

Some of them have been real funny. I remember meeting this young guy named Sebastion at a hostel in Germany.
he was so facinated with the wild life in Canada. He just loved to hear stories about our bears for some reason. I think the bear is a symbole of Germany or Berlin?

He called racoons "washing bears" I thought he was funny.

One time I was in the De Haug and stumbled accross the war crimes trial of Slobodan Miloševic and got to sit in on the trial.
it was a bit boreing after awhile but very interesting experience.

so I don't think I would have those experiences staying in fancy hotels being with other people.

Once I get going I will be ok.

I will try not to talk too much to my co workers as they have never done this sort of thing.

Lucky you!

Maybe some of your jitters have to do with a recognition of mortality? As a teen (death? what's that?) you wouldn't have been bothered, but at 52, it may be on your mind. I'm not suggesting you are too old by any means, but that you know what can happen. Prepare for emergencies. Have good travel insurance. Keep good identification and emergency numbers on you.

Some people never want to travel alone. Ignore them. Do you want the rest of your life to be a series of bland cruises? Be that dashing, independent guy who goes off for a month in Europe. Have a great time.

Hey karen
i think you have a point about the mortality thing. I guess you are as young as you feel but I don't feel like a teeager anymore

So If I make it to old age I will have those meomories of these adventures.

Everyone has been so helpful and encouraging.

Thanks

If you don't make it to old age, you'll be that wild Uncle Stew, last seen on a hilltop in Provence.

Hey Karen

good point.

I am seen as a little eccentric by some members of my family but so what aye.

I have too much time on my hands with this crappy Canadian winter to question why I am going off on another trip.
Well it makes me feel alive.
Like when I climbed a mountian in Switzwerland that become menory becomes a part of you.

so I am planning as much as possible but as Frank says take time to rest.

I'm 66, a woman, & generally travel alone. I don't think I'd bike thru Provence but that's only because I don't think I could physically. I do visit cities as it's less taxing. My husband took a while to get used to my going off alone. He & others who always said "I can't believe you're going alone -etc" would eventually make me nervous if I paid enough attention. I took one trip within a month of 9-11 & you can imagine all I heard. Regarding arriving well rested, I personally, think it's impossible. Maybe you should just build in a first day of rest. On the plane, I have a wine & half a sleeping pill. At best it gives me a few hours of fitfull sleep but it's better than none at all. I do get lonely & miss my husband. It's just part of it to me, & no reason to stay home.

Stew, please ignore your co workers and anyone else who tries to discourage you from doing something you want to do. They are projecting their insecurities onto you because they probably couldn't even go dine solo for 2 hours at a restaurant in their own town. Secretly, they envy you for having the cojones to do what they know they could never do.

Several years ago I posted something on this very board about my intention to travel on a round the world solo. I got a private message sent to me from some man who said I was crazy to think I could travel for a year alone, that being away from friends and family for that amount of time was unrealistic. In fact, this person had the audacity to say that I must have "deep-rooted emotional issues" to want to leave my friends and family for an entire year.

I ignored him and every other nay sayer and did what I wanted to do, and it was truly the greatest year of my life. You already did a fair bit of solo travel - and maybe this is the first time you will be solo for an extended period, but traveling and seeing new things every day makes it easy to keep your spirits up. You will definitely meet more people on the road when you travel solo - from locals to other solo travelers. It's easy to keep in touch with people back home by calling or the internet.

But on a lengthy trip, don't wear yourself out trying to do too much in a day - travel a little slower and you'll find you will stay healthy, rested and will have better memories of your time in each place. A frenetic pace does nothing but wear you out physically and mentally which can lead to feeling homesick or squashing your spirits.

Have a great trip.

Some things I didn't think of earlier:

Your co-workers could be insecure (as mentioned) before or jealous. They might secretly want to to do what you're doing but fearful, or their families won't let them.

If you do get lonely, it's very easy to call home.

One idea, to keep your family abreast of what's going on, is to start a blog of your journey. You can update it every few days and your friends and family can experience your adventures before you get home. It's a way for them to stay connected to you. No need to bring a computer. Just take notes along the way and every few days stop into an internet cafe for a coffee and to get online. (Of course, if you have some way to get online you can do it easier.)

Every one of us has a different way and style of traveling. There is no right or wrong. (Although some advice givers both here and at other places want you to think their way is the right way. Well, it may be for them but not necessarily for you.) Do what you enjoy, live your life, get the experiences you want, and you'll be a better person for it.

So, what you're feeling right now could be pre-trip jitters, a little guilt for going off on your own and taking care of yourself (which is okay), and believing your co-workers and friends rather than believing in yourself.

Have a great trip.

Thanks Ceidleh and Frank and everyone who has made these posts.
That means a lot to me and I feel much more upbeat.
You are right there could be a little guilt and thoughts of mortality. I won't disscuss it with too many people.

The blog idea sounds like a plan.

I find traveling so mind expanding and there is nothing like it.
It does not have to be expensive. I realy like to do it not spending so much money. I love to buy my food at markets and just enjoy what is going on around me.

I really will focus on being well rested.
I have made mistakes in the past of doing too much, that can be draining.

Hello Stew. You said "I think the most important thing is getting there .. well rested. That means no alcohol on the plane". That is a wise choice. Many people drink alcohol in the airplane, to help them to relax and sleep. Psychologists and neuro science experts say : drinkng alcohol helps a person to be able to sleep, but the alcohol causes a person to become awake, approximately 2 and 1/2 hours after he becomes asleep. That is not good for a person who wants to sleep longer than 2 and 1/2 hours. A person who will pedal a bicycle (loaded with all your baggage ?) for seven days needs to feel well rested every morning. Being in an airplane at night, flying from Canada to Europe, is a bad way to begin the trip. I think there is a day time flight to Paris CDG airport from an airport in the U.S.A. I forget which airline does that. The flight begins in the morning in the U.S.A., and arrives at Paris CDG in the evening that day. Does AIR CANADA have a day time flight from Canada to Paris ? In my first trip to Europe I became exhausted because of lack of sleep, and physical exertion, causing me to become ill : I had bronchitis (fluid in the lungs), which causes a person to feel very very tired. In what month will you go to Europe ? Will you pedal a bicycle more than seven days in Europe ? //
I thought most people do not sleep well in a hostel dorm (with several other people in the room).

Go and have fun! I would love to do this someday too. I haven't been to Europe in 20 years, though, and planning to take my kids back this summer was a little scary. Now, I have another kid and another adult coming with us, at least for the first part of the trip so I'm feeling a little easier.

It's funny what you do when you're young and have no one to answer to. I used to travel alone, just going for long drives or to volksmarches by myself all over Germany, sometimes into France, with just enough gas to get there and back and sometimes just enough money to eat, do the walk and that was it. I can't believe I did that, so many times. That was before cell phones and I never carried friend's phone numbers in case my car broke down either! That was probably the best time of my life too.

My dad called me this morning, from out West. I finally decided to tell him my plans for our trip to Germany this summer. I knew I shouldn't have, LOL! Or waited till we got home...oh, well.

Enjoy your trip!

Hi Stew,

These are some ideas I thought of...some may seem silly but you never know what be helpful.

If you meet someone interesting along the way, don't be shy--ask them to join you for lunch or dinner at a restaurant or on a day trip to a place that you'd like to visit.

Schedule some group activity--a cooking or language class.

Take books and/or magazines that you've wanted to read but haven't had time to--possibly something related to your destinations. When I traveled alone to Switzerland I took Mary Shelley's Frankenstein because some of the story is set in Switzerland.

Find a theme for your trip and look for something that represents your theme at each stop (best chocolate, interesting artist, etc.)

Develop a routine--buy an International Herald to read with your morning coffee. Possibly visit the same coffee shop at each destination so you feel like a local after a day or two.

I've noticed that many cities have an Irish pub where English speakers seem to gravitate to--I just did a quick Google search and found an Irish pub in Nice (Ma Nolan's) for example.

Enjoy your trip--I'm envious!

Hey Ron

I totaly agree about the alchol. I have done that in the past just to make myself feel relaxed as I am a nervous flyer. well you are right, alchol is totaly bad for flying. it make you get head aches etc and you are just a wreck the next day.

While biking I would never drink. I made that mistake biking through the wine growing area in Austria a couple years ago and they were selling the stuff for about a dollar a glass along the bike path.

Maybe the next day once I am rested.
But the most important day is the first to get well rested.

I will look into early flights.

I plan on staying in hostels much of my trip in Paris and Belgum as I am too cheap to pay anymore that I have too.

But I will be biking about 9 days in Provence and there I plan to have a small hotel as a home base in Arles and do long bike trips to the small towns, about 100 kilometers or 60 miles a day.

Thanks Ken

I realy appreciate this whole disscussion.

I was havng many pre travel jitters because I am doing it alone,... again. I am somewhat experienced but that does not not mitigate my apprehension.
I am 52 and have been traveling mostly alone since 17. there were times that I travelled with others that was good also but at this time I think not.

I remember as a teenager staying in skid row hotels all over the USA and Canada and I now wonder how I did it. That was not so safe and would never advise my daughters to do the same. well that was different times of lack of money and being young.

Solo travel has so many rewards. Writing a daily journal is good.

My biggest mistake in the past few years is not getting the proper rest. I still push myself as if I am still 18. I don't feel restaint by my age. But I must be realistic.

I recently just talked to these guys my age who said there 80 somthing father went back packing around Europe to see all the war sites he experienced back in ww2.
They were worried about him doing this travel(understandably so) but I think he was having a good time.
He would send tape recordings of his travels that he wanted his sons to type out for him. I thought that was so cool.
Maybe I will still be doing this if I make it that far.

As a 55 year-old solo traveler, I've read this thread with great interest. I've tried a lot of these ideas myself and found them to be really helpful. I always try to find a smaller hotel to stay in or guest house. I want one that has a small residents' bar or gathering area to increase the chance of meeting other travelers. I agree that one of the best parts of solo travel is the freedom to do what you want. I've alos found that taking the occasional day tour opens up new possiblities. You meet people who are at least interested in the same tourist site and it can give you a little social time often with people who speak English. I'm seriously thinking of taking my Mac with me next time as I really want to be able to play with my photos right away. It would be something interesting to do while sitting in a pub having a good ale. I've read the posts about the pro's and cons of laptops to Europe so no need to go over it here! LOL

Pam

I am also 52. This may sound strange, but I feel much better at 52, than how I felt as a teenager! I have more energy now, and I don't get tired as easily.
Hard to figure. I'm glad I'm traveling to Europe in the best years of my life!
Everyone's advice is good for any age!

Hi Stew. I read your reply to me here (date : 2/28/09). I think your Europe travel plans are good. You said you will sleep in a hotel in Arles, and do bicycle trips from Arles to the small towns. I think that is a good way to experience that region in France. I guess the motor vehicle drivers there learned to share the road with bicycles. I am slightly older than you. I did long distance bicycling trips in northern California when my age was 26 and 27. I will be in France in May of this year. But I think I do not have enough energy for bicycling in Europe. I will only see the views from railroad trains. I think you will have a good adventure in Europe. Bicycling to small towns in France : I think being able to talk in French would be desirable, or important. Can you talk in French ?

Hey Ron

I understand a little French but that is not great.
I don't live near the French part of canada so you just don't get the chance to use it.
I hope people will be patient with that.

I hope to really take in the feeling Of Provence. I especially want to experience Van Gough who spent 15 months there.

Being older you have your experience and that is important. Much more so that when I was a teenager.

In a way I am much mor fit than back then.

Biking in Europe is fun as it is a real bike culture.
There is more bikes in Amsterdam that people and I don't think I am exagerating.

so thanks to everybodys support.

You all know What I am going through in terms of travel passion as opposted to my co workers and bosses.
so I will discuss my travel ideas with the folks hear. It has been so encouraging.

thanks

I started traveling solo just about 2 years ago and there are pros and cons.
I stay in hostels too, but sometimes I feel lonely, even if I watch TV or talk to other travelers. I would like to go in bars at night, but since I don't like to go by myself, I have to stay in my room.
The good part is that you can do anything you want, anytime. No conflicts this way.
I usually talk to a lot of locals, so this keeps my spirit up.

I love love love my other half. But she doesnt get nearly the same vacation time as I do. So I travel solo alot---and I love love love travelling that way.

I am my favourite person to travel with--we like the same things, get tired at the same time, hate the same things :-)

There's never any of the "What do you wanna do today? I dont know, what do you want to do?"

Stew..if nothing else you can be an inspiration to the younger members of your extended family.

thanks Larson and Bea

I am just ready to book my flight.
I keep adding days, so far I am going 35 days alone.

I know the first day I will take it easy and will probaly be tired.

I will bkie about 11 mostly in Provence.

I will spend a week in Belgium, Bruissels and Brugges plus I want to see the WW1 battle sites my grandfather fought in, that should be fun.

I have his war records and he was paid $15.00 a month. He even spent time in the slammer for being drunk. I guess if you did not know if you were to live that might be an option.

I know I will be lonely at times and there is the language issue that I might encounter in Provence. I will be staying at a small hotel and will maybe meet others.

Mostly I will be in hostels, except 3 day at a Band B in Belgium to see the war sites.

My last 6 days in Paris will be day trips that I may or may not go as then I could be tried who knows.

Hi Stew, I'm in my 60's and I wish my family would LET me travel solo. I fully understand the pre-trip jitters and I do not understand where they come from. I'm not traveling (again not alone) until the fall and they have already started. I'm over it as soon as I get on the plane though.

Those pre flight jitters. I get them real bad but like you said once on the plane that changes.

I used to use alchol to help but that on the plane but that just made my first day a mess as I would be real tired afterwards. as I would never sleep that well.

Then I wonder if I added too many days.
35 is enough to be away from family and friends, though some keep contact through email

Stew, I am 61 1/2 (shhh, don't tell) and ALWAYS leave my husband at home. We have totally different interests. You will meet wonderful people from all walks of life and interests. I'm lucky I don't get home sick, just 'having to leave Italy' sick. But I always think of particular people in places that they would enjoy. Phone calls are easy. Your colleagues need a smart wake up. Have a GREAT holiday. I am totally jealous of your mode of travel.

Stew

Here's a few things that I have come to appreciate.

Organization is key to a successful solo journey. Really do your research before you head out. Take advantage of any and all credible resources. Use the telephone and internet to plot and plan. Never pass up free internet. Always have a back up plan whenever possible. Try to keep your options open whenever possible. And always keep safety your primary concern.
Eat and sleep well. Try to keep your meals on schedule whenever possible and carry snacks with you at all times.
Don't be afraid to have a cover story. Be careful not to reveal too much personal information about yourself. That can be challenging at times. I've met people while traveling that reveal WAY too much about themselves. And in the wrong hands, that could be a potential problem.
Sounds like you do have some solo travel experience so that will help you. It's a skill that is strengthened with time and experience.

I think it is normal for most solo travelers to feel at least some apprehension pre-trip. I think that is to be expected to some extent.
I think the "risk" is often worth the "reward"! Be safe and have the experience of a lifetime!

great advise from Australia and Niagara Wine country.
My daughter goes to school in St catherines.

Anyways I just booked my ticket for Paris on line, first time. so now I am committed.

I did am using Paris as a travel hub and even if I have a few extra days in Paris I think I will rent a bike and just bike around the city.
Maybe for Sunday just lay next to the Seine and relax.

I have tried to plan for everything.
Getting the proper rest is the most important and eating healthy.
So now I just wait to June 23

Hey Stew, your trip sounds great. I too just booked my flight, and once thats done I too get a bit of a "what have I just committed myself to" feeling, but , its fleeting. I travel alone sometimes, but haven't in almost 5 years!! I am looking forward to this trip though,, I have been 3 times in last 5 years with other people, and I am looking forward to NOT making concessions to other peoples desires,, no compromises( except budget ones) this trip!

I love Larson's post!!! I feel the same way.
And, as for feeling lonely. I travel solo all the time and NEVER feel lonely! Gosh, being in Europe is too exciting to get lonely, and so much to do. When I'm alone in my hotel room, after hours of sightseeing, I'm so tired, I fall asleep and wake up very early for another exciting day! Can't wait for my next trip to Europe, but as of now, I don't know when or where yet, but I have a feeling it will be Paris next time.
Stew, you'll have the time of your life, I just know it! I'm looking forward to hearing all about it!

Hey thanks Lisa and Pat
I did not realize there were so many like minded people.

I have been to Europe 5 times but everytime it seems like the first.
I am more experienced with the little things like subways and train stations.
However, the language barrier can be fun and a challange.
after I booked the trip last night I feel much calmer about the whole thing. But also like you said "what did I just do"

I picked up a used Madame Bovary by Flaubert as I am sure to be alone after my long days of biking in Provence.
And a few other novels to keep my company, like The great Gapsby.

I have family support even though they don't care for this solo travel.
thanks

This topic is really informative. I also travel solo often, this year and last year I am combining a RS tour with some days on my own before and after the tour.

I am planning a long tour (up to 2.5 months) in 2011, the year of my 50th BD. I am already thinking about where I want to go in Europe. I have some first cousins in Germany who I have met many years ago who I want to connect with and will use trains and try hostelling and maybe even couch surfing. I am already excited about planning this trip.

Planning a trip and doing lots of reading about the areas is lots of fun for me. For this year's Italy trip I have read fascinating books on food and wine of the regions; I am currently reading a book on Andrea Palladio, it is simply amazing how much I DON'T know. I feel much better prepared for this trip by reading a lot beforehand. I also have read some fiction books set in the area, that is fun too. I have a couple of books on Italian wine from the library now, another fascinating complex subject.

I also stay in contact with friends via email. So far I have had some access at hotels. I keep a travel diary and when I write in it, I think about what I want to share with certain freinds and family members so I can better describe it to them when I show them the many many pictures. Writing in the diary helps me to sit for a while and sip a caffe alone. It's also good to rest the feet a while; I usually have sore feet every day on the tour from all the walking and standing in museums. Happy Travels.

a quick comment about the biking -- if you haven't biked in France before you're going to have a blast! I did a trip a few years ago in the South of France and it was great. The Michelin maps are great; get the ones that are the 1:200,000 scale (now going out of print, but tons of detail useful for the biker). I had a map holder that mounted on my handlebars that was very useful. There are fountains in almost every town and the water is drinkable.

I am taking my first solo trip this spring, to Germany. I also had the "what did I just do" feeling after I purchased by plane tickets, and still go back and forth between being scared and excited! Reading about all of you other solo travelers helps! Have fun, Stew!

June, how nice you're going for your 50th Birthday!
Four years in a row I went to Europe right on my birthday! Because my birthday is in November, it's low season, and so much cheaper! Sometimes when someone needs to see my passport, they notice it's my birthday!
Have a wonderful birthday trip, and please let us know how your trip was!
And Kalee, you will be just fine! This is very normal! You will enjoy Germany!