Traveling with teens

Some years ago, we went with our sons (aged 14 and 17) and some of their favourites were: Germany--exploring Burg Rheinfels, luging in Bavaria, cycling in the countryside near Rothenburg, the Crime Museum in Rothenburg; Switzerland--hiking down from the Schilthorn, exploring Trummelbach Falls near Lauterbrunnen, Chateau de Chillon on Lake Geneva; Italy--Cinque Terre, Venice (especially the gelato).

Before we went, we watched Rick Steves videos and had them pick out some places/activities they might be interested in. Nowadays, the internet might be a good tool for scouting out places of interest! We found that having the boys take part in the planning process helped give them some ownership in the trip. We also found the "leader for a day" concept useful, where each one got to set the pace, pick the dinner spot, guide through the village, etc.

Have fun preparing and planning! It's an experience that really gave both our sons the travel bug!

When looking at your itinerary be sure to include smaller towns and places with outdoor activities. On one trip 2 years ago we were mostly in the bigger cities - Prague, Vienna, Salzburg. My teens really enjoyed those cities but they also wished that we had put in some time for hiking, climbing, etc. We are not really all that much of an outdoor oriented family but we do find that a day of biking, hiking, swimming in between big city sites is very much welcome. We have liked: climbing the mountain where St. Patrick banished the snakes from Ireland, canoe trip down the Dordogne in France, surfing lessons in Cornwall (that was a BIG hit - Sennen Cove, outside Penzance).

Another general tip when traveling with teens is to try to bite the bullet in terms of budget when it comes to hotel rooms. I know that we all like a little downtime away from each other - though we'll do a quad in some of the more expensive cities, we do pay for two rooms whenever possible.

Dan, what are your boys into? There's something in Europe for everyone. If they are at all interested in war history (or if you can get them interested in it) then Europe is your oyster! There are a lot of other things too.

Hi, with teens I would do a week a country, not less .
I would trade in Ireland for Switzerland.
You could fly into London do a week there( plus some out trips to Bath, Brighton etc, then take the Eurostar to Paris( it is a huge novelty, and I was able to get fairly cheap tickets when I booked in advance ) do a week in Paris( day trip out , there are TONS of places, hey, look up "Provins" on google, teen boys generally like Catapault shows and medievel stuff) , then train to Switzerland, which I loved, it is so beautiful, go to smaller centers, do some hikes, then hit Italy, and if you are able fly open jaw out of Rome.
In England also google "Warwick Castle" , and Porstmouth( I think I spelled that wrong) .
In Paris , well there are tons of things, Versailles, Eiffel Tower, The Catacombs( please google that for site, my teen boys both loved that creepy place, LOL )
I have been to Zermatt and loved it, but it is not cheap. Mostly pedestrian town, reached by short train ride,

and then kids and you can hike to the "hut" at the base of the Matterhorn, they will never forget it( and yes you can do it! ).

Anyways, I wholeheartly agree with getting kids involved in planning, make them take some ownership of this wonderful gift you are giving them. Plenty of kids never get to holiday more then a day at the beach in their own home town, so don't let kids forget what a great gift travel truly is , you are fortunate( as I am) to be able to start them out on a addiction that will be with them for the rest of their lives.! LOL

We went 4 weeks into Amsterdam, through Germany, Austria and Italy, home out of Rome. We had a 16, 12 and 8 year old in tow and leased a 7 passenger Renault for the trip (car leasing highly recommended).

I asked the kids what they would like to see before the trip; their response, "castles." I asked if they wanted to see ruins or restored castles; the response, "ruins." That was about the extent of their input.

Here are the things they liked. Rheinfels castle ruins, staying at a castle/hostel, the nightwatchman's tour in Rhotenburg, crime and punishment museum in Rhotenburg, boat and train rides, any live animals (deer, cows, goats, cats, etc.), climbing towers, ocean views and beaches, pizza, gilato and nutella.

They were generally good natured about the mandatory art and history they were made to endure.

Regarding Brad's post above - my two teens also like ruins/ruined castles much better than the restored ones or pretty French Chateaus. They really loved Tintagel castle in Cornwall - this is the place where King Arthur was born. There are also the marvelous Cathar castles in the Languedoc region of France. Google them to see some of the pictures - you won't believe it, they are perched on top of hills with steep cliffs, really marvelous.

Second Karen and Brad, most kids and teens( and even me) prefer old ruins, or medievil type castles as opposed to Chateaus which are really like Palaces, too modern, I like to imagine them throwing the bones from the dinner table to the hounds under the tables LOL

Thanks all for the great ideas.

Dan

Dan a few things to consider before you go (I speak from experience) how will you deal with the issue of the lower drinking age? will you allow your kids to imbibe while there? It's legal and all, and then when you get back home, how will you address the issue that if you allowed them to drink there, they can't drink at home. If you go to the beach in France, Italy or Germany there is relaxed nudity. So you might want to be aware of that. It's all part of the experience but comes as a surprise to parents that are 1st time travelers with teens. Everybody else had great comments. Let them eat at Burger King and Pizza Hut now and then and give them time and euros to go to cyber cafes so they can stay in touch with their friends.

Next summer we will be travelling for 2 weeks with our 13-year-old daughter in Germany (Munich) and Italy (Como, Tuscany, Florence). Her main interests are Manga (Japanese comic books), surfing the web, and friends her own age. Any suggestions? She doesn't especially like to shop for clothes. She has shown minor curiosity about the leaning tower of Pisa.

Chere, when we were in Europe in 92, I was 18 and my brother was 14. My parents let me drink, but not my brother (who was tall for his age and offered alcohol). It is a good point, though! I was aware that it was legal there but not at home, and I only drank a little bit socially and with my parents with me.

Betsy, yikes, try to get daughter more interested in trip. The Leaning tower is actually a bit boring, get more creative or I bet she will not be a happy girl.
Get some videos to watch together, they don't even have to be travel shows, even fiction filmed onsite or historical stuff.
Personally the places you have picked wouldn't have been my first choice for a 13 yr old girl who has so little interest in travel , I mean the country side in Tuscany is beautiful, and yes sitting at a little Inn and sipping wine and nibbling olives sounds lovely, but what exactly about that will interest your daughter. I agree you can't plan the trip just to please her, BUT, since she is alone( no siblings along) she is likely to get bored easier( at least with a friend or sibling she would have fun in hotel pools or going for short walks without you, not a good idea alone though)

Offer to take her to a Manga shop in Munich, google Munich and Manga and see if you can find one, better yet get her to do it.

Does she have a cousin or friend you could consider taking?

Otherwise you had better do your homework so you can get her excited about what your plans are.

Good luck!

dan and barb, we take our son along with us, almost all the time, my tips, are to do something fun for them every week (like waterpark, amusement park, scary/creepy sites and i have never heard him complain through any of our trips to museum or castle. also going to the beach if you can helps! if you type in amusement park or water park in google, for each country you will find something. in france we did a waterpark in the french riviera, a zip line course in Brittany, we went to Disneyland and the Catacombes in Paris, in San Gimignano we went to the museum of torture, and horseback ridding, in Salzburg we did the luge, in Vienna, the Prater (amusement park).etc
Teenagers like guided tour, i don't know why, maybe the guides are more interesting then we are...have fun and you will have a great trip seeing your teens enjoying it too!

One thing to consider is how you will get around. When I took my boys to Europe, I tried to go places where we could take trains. Cars in Europe are much smaller than in the U.S., so I didn't think it would work well to have them stuck in the back seat of a small car (they are tall). Plus they liked the trains. Ships are also good, because they can walk around on their own.

My boys liked anywhere they could hike and climb, and they liked ruins. If you go to Britain, consider Liverpool if they are Beatles fans. My kids are and they loved the Magical Mystery Tour (as did my husband and I). They also loved a Beatles walk we took in London. Most cities have guided walks and you might see if there is one to match their interests.

We took our 13 and 15 year old sons to Europe for a month this past summer. They both loved Switzerland (we were in the Lauterbrunnen/Jungfrau region). Another helpful bit of information is that both boys needed a day to sleep in every few days, even though we are used to going,going,going, teenagers need their sleep.

My son is very much into cars and loves the European sports car museums, i.e. Ferrari, BMW and Porsche.

We spent 5 weeks this past summer travelling with 2 "tween" girls. (12+14) Our plan was to introduce them to Travel as an adventure that we were all a part of. For christmas we bought the Rick Steves DVD's, and a bunch of Rick Steves travel guides.

Then we each wrote a list of the 10 things we Really Really wanted to do(plus the where and the how much) and decided our itinerary and our budget from there.

I was very surprised at how interested they each were in the planning, and how many things they wanted to do that I would Never have thought they would enjoy. All the info was in the guides,on the videos or my girls researched on the internet. (which they really enjoyed)

(I also bought myself the book "Take your kids to Europe (safely and sanely)" and I would highly reccomend it).

We stayed in Hostels (Holland) rented a house (in france) stayed in a pension (italy) rented an apartment (italy) and slept on a couple of trains.Most of the 5 weeks were spent with 4 of us in 1 big room, and we Survived !!

As a mom, it was Great not having to organise everything, and the kids really stepped up to the plate. No matter what, it will be a wonderful adventure and the memories are forever.

Sylvia I think that your family found a great way to do a trip to Europe with the kids( teens) ..
I firmly beleive in making it a family venture, not just a " mom and dad are taking me " but a " we are going to see ". If teens (and older children) are encouraged to help in planning I think they take ownership of the trip experience and help to make it more fun, instead of the "we were dragged around by mom and dad". I also really think having them help to some of the reasearch, or at least sit in a watch a few dvds or read a few chapters of a guide or history book for their " homework" for the trip makes a big difference in their enjoying a trip.

Exactly like adults really.

We have tried to get her interested. She doesn't want to watch travel shows, look at websites about travel, or do any research at this point. We would only be in the countryside for a few days in Como to meet with friends (they have a small dog that she likes) and then for a few more days near Fiesole in a farmhouse that has a pool (that she says she doesn't want to use). The location in Fiesole is a quick bus ride away from Florence. The rest of the time we will be in cities.

The only way we could include her cousin would be for my husband to go first (he has a work deadline), and then for me to travel with my daughter to meet with him, stay after he returns to the States, and try to collect my niece, who will be in the Netherlands (they can't change the timing of their trip to match ours). Then I would be traveling with a 13 yr old and a 12 yyr old who would be happy to be together, but it could be a bit stressful without another adult around.

Betsy - some different advice, based only on our travels with kids.

First, summer next year is a LONG way out for a 13 year old girl - way too far out for her to get excited. She knows you are going, so stop there, for now.

Second, on most of our trips, and definitely when the kids were 13ish, I involved them (and husband too) very little in the initial planning. This works for us. I know what we like - ruins more than palaces, small/strange museums or odd things (Ice man in Bolzano), climbing to the tops of cathedrals and counting the steps, etc - and can get a good general plan. I do ask for opinions on specific things "would you rather spend the extra day in Rome or Venice?"

But we also don't plan ahead for each and every day. I plan the NUMBER of days we'll be in a city but not a daily itinerary, except for arrival day. After that I take the guidebook to dinner each night and we plan what to do the next day. At this point EVERYONE chimes in because they are there, they are excited, maybe we walked past something earlier and they want to return. I'm not dragging them around and they are happy to participate.

Other tips: Definitely alternate museums/cities with other things - boat ride on Lake Como, bike tour out of Florence, etc.

Great idea to take a cousin, but I'd be hesitant to take anyone other than the closest of family friends (i.e. goddaughter). It's tough being 3 - always ends up being 2 against 1. Consider times to "divide & conquer". Let her sleep in some days while you and husband do the early touring thing, then switch it up later in a different 2/1 grouping. Let her wander a bit on her own, especially in the smaller towns where it is easy to figure out where you are.

Plan for downtime-back to the hotel in the afternoon to rest, read comics, etc.

Finally, she may just be at the really negative stage that my daughter & friends went through. Backing off now may give her time to grow up -even 6 months can make the difference.

Just thought of something else:

Make sure she has her own small digital camera. Encourage her to take "weird photos" and not the standard travel photos. My son has become the expert on taking VERY close up pics of architectural details, graffiti, weird signs, etc. Since it is digital we can toss the ones that don't turn out and they actually make for cool additions in our travel books. Its a great way to get them involved once you are there.

And consider some off the wall movies to watch between now and then - movies that aren't travelogues or even historical ones but can give her a flavor of what you will experience - The Talented Mr. Ripley is set in Venice (have you decided NOT to go to Venice? This was my teens favorite) and is a murder/psychological mystery - creepy but good. Also try Run Lola Run - set in Bernlin, not Munich, but its German and very edgy - my teen son loves it. Another GREAT "european movie" is Auberge espanole - again, I'm going for a movie that shows "cool, hip, young" Europeans enjoying Europe. Be forewarned - all above movies MAY be rated R but I would let a mature 13 year old see all of them.

Betsy-the Atlanta Karen above had great tips. Most of us as teens managed to ruin at least one of our parents' vacations, and now as adults have had trips ruined by our own teens. If this happens, accept it and don't get too mad about it. Teens can manage to find out what buttons to push, and they enjoy making you angry. Keep a sense of humor.

My girls were not excited about our trip last spring until just a few weeks before. They wouldn't look at books or websites with me. But they had a great time.

I read once that you should treat teenagers as you would treat a friend who never drinks but is suddenly drunk. Be kind, helpful, and don't hold what they say against them.

Betsy, I agree with Karen that next summer is along way off for a 13 year old and her attitude could change by then. Often for tweens its the fear of the unknown that turns them off travel. For adults its an adventure, for tweens it can be pretty scarey.

As far as reading travel guides or watching dvd's , my girls enjoyed that part. But they also loved watching the "Aristocats", "Hunchback of Notre Dam" and a few other Disney animated films, which take place in Europe. My kids grew up watching these films(over and over) and when they finally realised that they take place in Europe and "we're going there" it just added to the excitement.

No matter what, make sure that You have a good time and your joy at travelling will rub off on your daughter. Eventually : )

I wouldn't think too much about the specifics of the itinerary. We took our boys, then 18 and 16, to Europe on a 3 week trip, which included Paris, south of France, Cinque Terre Italy, Switzerland, and back to Paris. Didn't build any specific expectations in advance. The older son has traveled extensively since, and the younger has not. But both cite this trip as the best vacation they've ever been on.

With teens, you never know what will interest or excite them, so just go. Let them discover things just as you do. And have a great trip! I know you will.

Betsy, a 13 year old may just be afraid of going to a foreign country and reacting with indifference may just be her way to show it. Inside, the girl may be quaking with fear - what will those other teens think, will I have the right clothes, the right make-up, the right hair-do, I wont know how to talk to anyone. What if they are laughing and talking about me and I won't be able to understand what they are saying. Stuff like that can be very hard for that age group to be confidant about. Heck, look at all the people on this forum who aren't confidant about what they should wear! Now think about how a very young teen feels. 6 months may make a big difference. Maybe just relax a little bit with it, take the pressure off. Come back with some themes later on. I would look for things that might be interesting for a teen. Like fun swimming pools, manga comic stores (but be aware they will be in another language) cave or mine trips, anything that is out of the ordinary. Ghost tours at night, crypt tours, and so on. Rest assured, this age will soon pass.