Traveling with elderly

Probably you can trust your grandparents to pace themselves. They may want to take a day or an afternoon off from sightseeing here and there, no big deal. More likely, their energy will surprise you. I know people in their 70's who can wear out a 25-year-old.

My parents, in their mid-70's yet quite fit, visit a few times a year from the States. Bus tours of bigger cities work out well, they can see the sights, but remain seated. If you're going to a town with lots of sights, museums, cathedrals, etc. Pick the one or two most important for them to see, go there first thing in the day, then park them at a cafe or back at the hotel for the afternoon while the rest of the group visits more on the itinerary. Even if they spend more time in cafes having coffee and a pastry than walking through museums, they're still soaking up the local atmosphere and many times that's more fun.

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http://www.thejewishweek.com/travel/vacations/traveling_senior?sf780307=1 You don't say what kind of shape they are in, but I think your concerns are valid, and I'd talk to them beforehand about what they expect on this trip. I've only traveled with an older person who was in poor shape, and it was not a vacation for me at all. It required a ton of planning to accomodate her needs, and we were quite limited as to what we could see and do. But, I knew that going into it, and, she paid for the whole thing, so it was okay. But if this is supposed to be YOUR vacation, and you have already planned a tight, fast schedule, you might really need to stick up for your own needs. There are possible compromises; for instance, you travel together to each city, but while there, separate for the day while sightseeing, so everyone can go at their own pace. Then, meet up for dinner. Or, maybe you go to Europe frequently and don't mind sacrificing one vacation for them. But if there are things you definitely want to see and do, regardless of whether your travel mates can keep up, make plans for how to make that work NOW.

Well, since I am considered elderly, at 64, I have been in Europe in 2005, 06. 07. 09 and loved every minute of it. But that is correct, I did pace myself. Many day trips were taken when I stayed in a location for 2 days or more. On most of these trips, I traveled from St Goar, Germany, to Amsterdam, To Bruge, to Paris, down to Italy in Arezzo and then back to St Goar, with a stop either in Switzerland or Austria. I loved both countries but I liked Austria, Hall in Tirol and Innsbruck because of their location and the use of the Euro instead of the Swiss Franc. (plus, Switzerland is more expensive to stay overnight). I tried to stay 2 nights in each place that I wanted to explore and then sometimes, stayed only 1 night on the long distance trips. This was all done by train and with a train pass. Sometimes would even take an overnight train on the way down to Italy and then a day train back to Germany (because I usually fly into Frankfurt). Now, to answer your question, this would depend on the condition of your grandparents. Yes, we do slow down from even 4 years ago, but unless there is a physical impairment that causes a more slower pace, most elderly can move around pretty fast, and as one person said, sometimes even faster than a younger person. But whatever you do, enjoy your trip and have fun.

"I am concerned about the fast paced travel and the wear and tear of constant travel." Just ask your grandparents to slow down, so you youngsters can catch up with them.

Kent: Great comment

I traveled with my mom to the British Isles. She was 70. She has always walked a lot. She did great from morning until about 5pm when she hit her wall. At that point, I'd get her into a taxi, take her back to the hotel, and eat an early dinner. After that she was ready for a shower and bed and I headed back out for more sightseeing. The best advice I can give is don't waste your grandparents energy needlessly. Use transportation when possible rather than walking, stand in line for them while they find a place to sit nearby, keep snacks and drinks handy to keep everyone hydrated and energized, plan a sit-down lunch rather than eating on the go.

Brad's comments are great. Be aware that saving their energy will put more wear & tear on you. You'll be the one to walk a block or more to find a taxi while they sit on a bench. It takes its toll. This is probably their last trip but you'll have more. Also, everyone always wants to know how to connect with the locals. You'll have an easy way with your grandparents. That will be a great conversation starter-grandson travelling with grandparents. What a nice boy. As good as a baby or a puppy for meeting people!

I'm almost in the age group of your grandparents. A few years ago I traveled with a 30-something friend. I showed her how to use transportation to get around, made sure she had a map, then turned her loose. Our travel styles were slow for me, and fast for her. Mostly we toured separately while sharing a twin room. If your grandparents are experienced travelers they can probably be on their own a lot. If they haven't traveled in Europe before you may need to be more a tour guide. "Fast paced travel" and "see as much as possible." Sounds more like what young people could do. Get a more specific list from your grandparents about what they want to see; make a sensible itinerary and avoid over-doing it. Consider: light luggage, hotels without stairs, areas convenient to buses and shopping, car rental.

Benjamin, I've had lots of experience traveling with my in-laws. That means carrying their luggage (in addition to mine), helping them up and down stairs (while carrying all of our luggage), and in general keeping all of us 'ducks' in a line, so to speak ('ducks' are of all ages). First of all, heed Swan's advice (all of it, but particularly) - make sure each person's luggage is the lightest possible and only one bag per person!!! When you're trying to get your grandparents, YOUR luggage, THEIR luggage, up and down the train steps or to your hotel rooms, you don't want more pieces than necessary. Pack Lightly!!! Be Ruthless!!! (unless your grandmother's name is Ruth...) Perhaps they can handle their luggage, but there will probably come a time when you need to help them so make things easy on all of you. (cont.)

(cont.) To address "see as much as possible" I'd say maybe try to see a few different cultures/countries and not as many towns/cities (overnight stops) as possible. For example, and I'm not particularly making any recommendations here but only plugging in some names: see France (Colmar and Paris), then train to Bruges, then train to Cologne/Rhine River/Munich. Then maybe train to Rome and fly home from there. Just don't do any 1-2 night stays if possible. It's the moving around with luggage, and changing the general environment, that's a killer. Slow down and enjoy the company! Really SEE where you are, and avoid the temptation to collect places. Make them PROMISE to tell you if your pace is too hectic - and remind them that you aren't a mind-reader. Most co-travelers (grandparents or not) don't want to be a 'stick-in-the-mud' to their fellow travelers so they just suck it up. Right before they crash and burn...and feelings get hurt...Who wants that?!? Watch them for any signs that you need to slow down and maybe take an entire day off...and take many rest breaks at cafes, park benches, etc. Make sure everyone stays hydrated!!! If they need prescription meds, be sure they are taking them and that they bring extras (some get dropped down sink drains, etc.). In general, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN. And that should be about the right pace ;-) I'm envious of all of you; enjoy this great opportunity!

I traveled with my parents when they were in their early 80's. We definitely had a slower pace than they would have had even five years earlier. My mom had a rolling suitcase, but my Dad had a backpack. He managed it, but it really would have been better to have wheels. ; ) We'd originally planned to split the driving, but the rental agency wouldn't rent to my Dad so I did all the driving. One difference that may or not be true for you, for us was laundry. I had lots of quick dry underwear and clothes and was used to in room washing. My dad needed laundry. It worked out that we B&B's and hotels that could do some of it for us, but we should have thought of this in advance. It will be a memorable trip for you. My Dad has since died and my Mom still talks about our trip to Scotland together. I was so glad that I we had our time together in the Highlands. Pam

Hey Benjamin, I am taking my mother (79) to Germany and Italy in June. She wanted to go on my 2 week trip last spring, but I knew she wouldn't be able to keep up, so I planned this trip just for her. I know I won't get to do everything I would want to do, but so what, this trip is for her. What she wants to do, I want to do. A couple words of advice, if I may. Plan to stay at least 3 nights at each location. It really helps to slow the pace down. If they decide to stay at the hotel one afternoon and rest, they won't miss much. Also, if they aren't on a walking program now, get them started. My mother walked in place to a fitness video for "1 mile" every day. However, I realized that walking on carpet would never get her ankles and knees ready for cobblestone. Now she walks that mile up and down a gravel road everyday. By June, those cobblestones will be nothing!

Swan and Eileen raised very relevant points in relation to hotel acommodation ie stairs. Don't know what you have planned in the way of accommodation, but my experience of many, many quaint, B & B's, Gites etc. throughout Europe, is that they always have stairs. Lots of them and invariably very narrow. Hotel chains would be your best option, I feel. 3 nights minimum per stay in each place would be best. Hop on hop off buses are ideal. They will get a great overview of the cities and have the opportunity to hop off at major sites with very little walking.
I suggest you all sit down, if you haven't done so already, and talk honestly and clearly about what the expectations are of all parties for this trip. Have your Grandparents been to Europe before? Have they any concept of what is involved?

Benjamin, little things can make a difference. If you can plan the trip with at least 5-7 days in a major city, look at renting an apartment or house. That way you can have more space, and a kitchen or kitchenett to prepare some of your meals if you don't feel like going out. Also, even if your grandparents don't need canes, consider buying the 'folding' canes that have a small seat attached. They open out into a 3 legged stool and your grandparents could sit, even if you are in line with no benches near, etc. And talk honestly with them about packing light. It may be a difficult concept for them (or may not). You also need to have an open, honest discussion about their medical conditions. If they are on signifcant medications, you will need to arrange to have suffcient quanities with you. You might also want to talk with their doctors about any concerns you, your grandparents, or the doctors might have. Talk about potential 'crisis' situations and how to handle them. Become informed about their insurance (remember American Medicare isn't valid in Europe) and explore travel insurance, travel medical insurance, etc. This is not to discourage you, just to help you make good plans for the trip. I've tried for many years to convince my mom to go with me to the UK (she is now 73). Never could convince her and now she has hurt her back and must use a walker and may have to have surgery... so likely I'll never get to take her. If your grandparents are in relatviely good health, then by all means DO IT!!! Even if YOU have to give up some of YOUR plans- spend the time with them,and enjoy it!!!

This is a great discussion! I would second the advice about talking everything over with your grandparents. Charlotte's specific medical topics to discuss are especially important. Also, you do not say how familiar you are with their general physical condition and level of stamina: How fast and far do they usually walk? Do they rise early and put in an energetic morning, but want to rest for several hours after lunch? Can they carry and LIFT their own luggage? If they have not been to Europe, be sure they understand exactly what is meant by "comfortable walking shoes." One guest, age 67, warned about the cobbled streets and sidewalks, came equipped with flip-flops! The suggestion of spending AT LEAST three days in one location is very important. The traveling and the packing and unpacking, etc. are very disorienting to the elderly. Multitasking and keeping track of belongings can be a big strain. Renting an apartment as a base for four days to a week would be ideal. If it's in a central location with easy access to a lot of sights, then everyone is free to come and go, eat in or go to restaurants, come back for a nap, etc. The more energetic of you can even take day trips from the base, while the others stay. E.g. apartment in the Marais in Paris with side trip by train to Giverny for the day.

My mother was 70 when we visited Europe. It was with a tour group. It was difficult mainly because we had too much luggage. I had to carry Mom's luggage plus my own. Half the clothes in the luggage were never worn. Near the end of the trip, I was tempted to just leave them behind. Then there was the issue of restrooms, swollen legs and feet, eating rich foods, not getting enough sleep and just being irritable. We still managed to laugh a lot and enjoy ourselves. My Mom says that it was the best vacation ever. Now I am nearing that age
and can relate to some of the aches and pains she experienced. I wish she was able to go again. This time we would choose one city for a home base and explore from there or we could just have a picnic in the park and just people watch. Maybe renting a car would be a good idea. Read the book "Incontinent on the Continent". It's a comical account of a mother-daughter traveling in Italy. Relax and enjoy.