Traveling Solo, a skill to develop

I agree with Carol, for ten years after my divorce I traveled solo and the first couple of times I was a little anxious but soon became not only comfortable but actually enjoyed the freedom of only having to make choices that affect me regarding travel. Two years ago I met a kindred spirit and remarried and I love traveling with my wife but the time spent traveling solo turned out to be a positive experience that I do not regret.

It is true that for me the first time I traveled solo was the hardest. Getting used to going to a restaurant to eat alone was new for me, and still probably my least favorite part of solo travel! On that first time being solo I also realized how nice it is to occasionally be able to do everything you want and only what you want without having to worry about what someone else wants to do. I think another hard part about starting to travel solo is convincing family and friends that it really is okay and safe. I also want to say that I would have never started traveling solo in Europe if it wasn't for this forum. Reading about so many others going on solo trips here made me think I could do this too.

Most of my travel has been solo. It works for me. There is nobody to blame if things go wrong. There is nobody else to "work around" for various choices and schedules. I've traveled with others a few times. It is nice to save some money on lodging. It is nice to have someone to go out to dinner with, have one or two daily conversations. I did the planning on a couple of the trips. That worked ok.

I have not travelled solo yet beyond work trips but know that the time will come as I have itineraries on my radar that my husband and kids have no interest in.
I am the type of person who is comfortable being alone so that part does not phase me.
I have the street smarts and organizational/planning skills so I think I am ok with that part as well.
The part that my husband always takes is the actual navigation: reading maps/apps, subway stations, buses etc. That is the part that I will have to work on :)

I love reading people's solo trip reports

Sometimes I feel envious of people who are solo travelers. I travel with my husband, and that is great - but sometimes I want to strike out on my own. Its not that he won't "let" me - more that in the end whatever it is I want to do he decides sounds like fun and wants to come to. This usually occurs when I want to see a particular museum that he has little interest in, so I tell him I'll go on my own and suggest he do "x" (that I'm not interested in) -- and he then suddenly finds my museum worth seeing.

I did travel to Quebec City alone for a week-long convention and although I met people on the convention floor, I was alone for the travel there (train from Ontario), in my hotel, during most meals, and the little sightseeing I fit in. I was nervous at first but as each day passed it became easier and more fun.

Since I'm the main planner of all our trips, I think I could go solo much easier than he could.

Absolutely. The demographic trends are such that folks will spend more time (as a share of their entire life) solo than ever before, due to never getting married in the first place, divorce, death of spouse, etc. That's reality, and it's best to develop all sorts of life skills - whether it's traveling, cooking, investing/financials, and basically fully taking care of yourself because it's very likely that you'll be in that boat, if not now then later. I think the travel fear and timidity that you see on this board comes from pure lack of confidence, practice, and just knowing much about the country/place to judge (so people revert to being overly risk-averse). And some of the behavior patterns of being stuck at the hip of a spouse, or never traveling even for work (especially in the case of women) are generational...so I would expect variation depending on age/experience. I've traveled solo since my 20s and can attest that you definitely sharpen your skills with lots of practice. I really enjoy traveling with a partner but deep down, I'm a solo traveler at heart. There is nothing like having to count on yourself to get out of a difficult situation which is inevitable on (some adventurous) do-it-yourself trips. I also wouldn't have had the experiences I did if I had been with someone else. Solo travel opens up the door to many things that are different than traveling with others.

Some skills that are important for the solo traveler: 1) organizational, planning and logistics 2) at least some foreign language knowledge is incredibly helpful when traveling, 3) dealing with money/credit cards/debit cards and exchange rates and knowing how to minimize fees, 4) packing light to you can handle your luggage, 5) street-smarts and resourcefulness, and 6) self-awareness of your limitations and being able to devise a back-up plan when needed.

I travel solo most of the time. I think the main thing is to have contingency plans if something happens to change your original plan - even changing your mind.

Take advantage of the flexibility you have. See it as an advantage rather than a burden.

I still don't love dining alone at dinner, so I make the midday meal the main one, where many people dine alone.

I love traveling solo, I only have to please myself and I get to decide what pace is comfortable for me. If I make a mistake, miss a connection, or do something stupid, no one knows but me. I can work around it as best I can without worrying about how it affects anyone else.

I had never travelled solo before, but I hit 45 and realized if I was going to see Europe I needed to get on it and going solo was my only option so I decided to start with somewhere easy and spent 6 days in London. I've always been independent, a bit of a loner, and as an only child always very comfortable with my own company, so it wasn't that hard to imagine entertaining myself in a foreign country. The whole trip went smoothly and that was all I needed to feel confident and have since made 5 trips to Europe and 1 to Canada. I do extensive research and planning so I'm prepared, check in with friends on FB and call my parents every couple of days and in general I just love being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want and for however long I want with no one else to trouble me. In fact, it's now my worst fear that I will meet someone who wants to travel with me!

I have no problem being alone in a sea of groups, couples and families, and find the old adage "he travels fastest who travels alone" to be very apt indeed. I like moving swiftly through some places and slowly through others. Occasionally I will feel a twinge and think it would be nice to share some particularly lovely view or piece of art with a like-minded soul, but then it passes. I know plenty of people who absolutely cannot do anything alone and would have no impetus to even try to imagine a trip to a foreign country all on their own. I'm glad circumstances forced me to realize my solo potential as travel has become a very important part of my life.

I am an only child, too, and that may help in not expecting to be accompanied in my travels. There's an Italian saying which translates as "better alone than badly accompanied".

My 21 year old son is heading off for his second solo trip to Europe in a couple weeks. I would say when travelling solo it is important to be more aware of your surroundings. I would also suggest leaving an itinerary with someone and communicating with them every day or two.

Like many other things in life, solo travel has both advantages and disadvantages. My situation is much like christa described, and I'm comfortable by myself but also comfortable around others.

In years past, I used to enjoy travelling with my wife and that always worked well as we were both on the same page with what we wanted to see and do. However since I've been travelling solo I've found on a few occasions that when I took day trips with other people, those didn't always work out well and often resulted in a mildly acrimonious "parting of ways".

I've found that good planning really helps solo trips to go well, although minor problems can still crop up. I prefer to have all my hotels arranged so that I don't have to wander about unfamiliar cities with all my kit trying to find a place to sleep. I don't mind eating alone, and in fact I enjoy that time to review my day and plan for the next day, and also just to enjoy the experience of being wherever I am without being distracted.

One of the advantages of solo travel is that one can "turn on a dime" to take advantage of serendipitous opportunities and I've done that on a number of occasions. I've found that solo travel provides a level of freedom that isn't possible when travelling with others. I can have meals when I feel like it, tour whichever sites interest me (many of which wouldn't be of interest to others) and spend as much time at sights or chatting with others as I want.

Some of the disadvantages include the fact that I have no one to share the memories with. Family and friends at home usually have very limited interest in hearing about those special moments from a trip, as they weren't there and can't appreciate them. When talking about the trip, the fidgeting and feet shuffling usually start within a minute or two. Another significant disadvantage is that if a serious problem develops (such as a major medical issue), the solo traveller is completely "on their own" in a foreign country where language can be a problem. For that reason, I will never travel solo without a smartphone again, and won't venture into areas that don't have good cell coverage. I've travelled solo for many years without any problems, but it's still prudent to be cognizant of potential problems.

Great thread! Every person is going to need something different to feel ready for a solo experience, and it does depend a lot on your personality and situation. Thinking about how you fare alone (in any situation) will help identify whether you should try travel alone too. I live alone and so the barrage of travel decisions wasn't hard to deal with - just like every day at my house. But if you're accustomed to bouncing things off a partner (where should we go/eat/stay?), you might have a totally different experience.

My first few big trips involved a tour group (so you're not completely alone, but still going solo) and that was a good way to ease into it. These are other things that have made me more comfortable with solo travel:

• Plan, read, research, watch. Gather information about where you're going and what you want to see. It gives you something to look forward to and you're armed with ideas when you arrive. This includes transportation or any other thing you're worried about (like driving in Germany, how the metro works in Prague). YouTube is super helpful. I've had luck with Googling "offbeat " to find unusual things to see/do.
• Google maps/street view your first hotel. When you're travel weary, it's good to know what the front door looks like (not always obvious).
• Speaking of, book your first hotel (or all of them) ahead of time. I need the certainty of a place to put my head at night.
• Take walking tours on the first day in a city. You meet nice people (if you're a social butterfly, this helps ease loneliness) and you get the lay of the land and can note where you want to come back.
• Give yourself permission to take a bit of down time. This is always hard for me, but a well timed nap can turn a day around.
• Though I keep trying solo dining, I always find this hard. The advice above to make lunch your main meal is a good one. I've also made it part of my travel adventures to go grocery shopping to find fun/interesting/weird foods, local beverages, etc. to make a room picnic.
• Keep a travel blog. This helps me two ways - friends and family keep track of me, plus I am able to document things while fresh in my mind. Re-reading when I get home is sometimes hilarious (I did what?) but also fun to reflect and remember what a great time I had.

I think whether you travel solo or not depends mostly on your temperament and personality. Before I traveled solo, I had planned trips with my friends and also taken tours. So to me, going solo was no big deal and I didn't bother (or find I needed) to develop any "special" skills. For me, the same stuff that made a trip I planned with others "work" also made a solo trip "work." I also found that more than a week of being solo is extremely boring to me. So I get a week of it here and there, but will avoid longer stretches. Obviously, some people are different and really enjoy the experience. In response to the OP: no particular types of skills are required to travel solo (IMHO).

Went solo the last two summers both two weeks in Europe. And I've done about a little more than half of my travels solo.
I generally organize my trips around my passion which is music by attending International Jazz Festivals in small towns, so I always meet people in the audience who share the same passion; or occasionally I meet the artists (mostly likely Americans) that happen to be staying at the hotel or happen to be out and about in the streets. What could be better when it is hard to find people that like and understand the same music scene as you while having the same level of freedom to travel as you? So if you can orient your travel around your hobbies going solo is not an issue.

This is a great thread, Carol. Thanks for getting it started.

My first time traveling solo in Europe was at the end of a whirlwind (3-day) trip to Paris with a friend. She returned home but I got bumped from my flight and got an extra day. It was my favorite day of the trip!

Since then I've taken four solo trips to Europe and four solo trips in the US and Canada. I really like traveling solo for many of the reasons mentioned by others. I'm getting ready to take a tour to South America in November (my first time on a tour in almost 20 years!) and I hope I don't regret doing it that way. I'll be traveling solo on the tour, and at the end I'm extending it with two nights on my own in Rio. And in December I'm going by myself to a small town outside Mexico City for 4 nights followed by 3 nights in Mexico City.

I'm not sure I agree with the premise that traveling solo requires any special skills that you can develop. Enjoying solo travel does certainly require the appropriate temperament, but other than a few smart travel tips (I really like the ones CL lists!), I don't think special skills are required.

I will add one additional thing I've discovered on my solo travels: loneliness will set in from time to time, but it doesn't have to be your enemy. Accept it. Embrace it even. Take it as an opportunity to make best friends with yourself.

As I write this, I realize I have to contradict myself, because there is one skill that is wise to develop when traveling solo: the art of striking up conversation with strangers. I've never been good at this, but I've gotten better at it the more I've traveled. I'm not sure how to work on this, though. It just takes practice. A few times when I've tried this, I've been rebuffed as it becomes clear I'm intruding, and that always stings, but the vast majority of the time it's like making a new friend.

Traveling solo does require you to develop skills because you don't have anyone readily available to consult! If someone is trying to develop skills using public transportation, I think London is the best place because there's no language barrier and you can also practice taking trains to other locations in England/UK. I think security would be more of a concern because if you lose all your money and charge/debit cards(better leave some at hotel), you don't have a partner's financial assets to rely on. I think you need to pay for a reliable cell phone and have a plan to check in with someone at least once a day. And as a woman, I would be sure I could get to my hotel well before dark and either bring food to eat or be sure there is a restaurant inside the hotel or very close by.

On traveling solo I agree with the view that a good deal of it depends on your temperament and your personality. In case of adversity , depending how serious, you cannot fall apart, have a melt down, a panic attack, go to pieces emotionally. In Berlin this past trip I discovered to my surprise (more than than!) that I had only one week's supply left of my prescription meds I need to take daily. Basically, I had miscounted the number of pills needed of this med for the duration of the 52 day trip and didn't bring along the right number of them. So, I decided to ask the proprietor of the Pension for advice. She told me what to do...simple. Any moments I had of " panic attack" were groundless. This was on Sat morning... luckily, by Monday morning I picked up the pills at the pharmacy down the block. The pills had to be ordered.

I took my first trip in Europe in 1971 traveling alone at 21. Like then I still take the trains, buses, night train, ferry, plane alone, eat alone at lunch/dinner, track down the sights in a city or town alone, get to the hostel, Pension, or hotel alone. The early trips were always solo. Mostly, I still go alone but there are also times going with family.

You get used to traveling alone. Most of the trip is planned, my family here know the general plan and itinerary, I don't use a smart phone. You have to make sure you know what you're doing, be aware, be flexible, think outside the box, etc in taking trains , public transport, ie the tricks of the trade I have no problems in sitting in a six seat compartment with strangers, they might see you in the same manner, I found the experiences I had this time and the last couple of trips very pleasant, positive...these strangers are just ordinary normal people....no problem talking with them if they feel likewise.

I would say that rushing back to your hotel before dark is not necessary, major cities in Europe have lots of people out and about until late (sitting down to dinner at a restaurant at 8:30-9pm is common).

I don't check in with anyone once a day or hide in my hotel when it gets dark either. I eat when the locals eat (late) and then I've got strolling to do to work off the food (plus I enjoy seeing cities at night as well, it's a totally different feeling). I also love listening to live music, so that happens after dark too.

While I loved traveling with my husband, I also really love traveling alone. I never get lonely. I find people are friendlier when I travel alone. Most things are the same whether at home or away being alone. I enjoy going out to a nice restaurant on occasion by myself. I write in my log, speak with the waitress or bartender, and watch people. I enjoy treating myself to splurges and not having to justify them to anyone! The only negative about traveling alone is illness, but I get the insurance that will fly me home to my hospital at my demand (MedJetAssist)...hopefully, I'll never have to use it. I don't usually have a working mobile with me and I don't see the need for it. I do have an apple device for wifi in the evenings to upload a photo a day to my family keeping an eye on me. Even though I always manage my own bags, traveling alone makes it a little more demanding as they are always with me, etc. so it is necessary to make sure they are extremely manageable. For a first trip, if not used to traveling alone at home or if a husband is attempting to disallow it (meaning there's another issue to deal with), then it might be best to combine an RS tour with a little independent travel the first time. I do know my husband worried less when I went to Greece on the RS tour vs completely independently. Solo travel is great fun!

This is a great thread!

I agree that solo travel doesn't have to start big. A trip to another city, state, part of the continent counts, and even if you're joining friends later on this trip, take a part of it to relish doing things all by yourself. It's a different way of traveling, but it can be empowering if you let it be.

I first started travelling solo by necessity. I was living in the UK, and had no one I knew well enough locally to be a travel companion, so I simply set out for short trips on my own. I discovered that I enjoyed it so much that I have been travelling solo ever since. I do think that it does not suit everyone. Some people do prefer to have company all the time. I like to have company, but not all the time. Sometimes I find company annoying, because you and your travel companion may have different interests.

I would also say that if you are in a city, that you are never truly alone. If something goes wrong, then most of the time there are people around. I would be more nervous about travelling solo in somewhere really physically isolated, such as remote desert areas where if an accident happened to you, there may not be anyone to come along to help you for hours or even days. That does not mean I avoid country areas, I have driven in country areas in a few countries, but I suppose I am more wary of somewhere really remote. So here in Australia, I have no issue about driving on our major highways, but I would be more wary about driving on my own in the remote desert areas away from sealed roads.

I agree with Ted regarding isolated places not being so conducive to solo travel...heck I don't like isolated places in the US either.
I also would confess that the day before my travel I get very nervous, but once at the airport I am good! My first international solo trip i took the first day slowly and just got used to the neighborhood rather than stressing. And I find the travel days most stressful so I don't preplan anything else into my travel days and that works well for me.

I love traveling solo! I was only 47 when my husband passed away, and I didn't want to put my life on hold to wait for someone else. I travel for work and expanded from there. Some trips have been more challenging than others, but I don't know that traveling solo is all that different from traveling with others.

In both cases, most travelers want to maximize their time and fully enjoy the experience. The difference is that being alone means you are solely responsible for the plans, choices, and experiences. You also choose to savor the experiences and share thru photos, emails or whatever or find people along the way to engage or a combination. Traveling with others means compromising and having an immediate group with which to share experiences.

I am always surprised, although should be used to it by now, how often other women say they envy me and wish they had the courage to travel alone. It's also interesting how many find it challenging to eat alone. I have no problem with that, although occasionally I wish I were sharing a particularly wonderful meal with someone else. Going to movies alone has been my hurdle!

Where do you want to go, what do you want to see and do, at what pace do you want to move are the basic questions for all travelers. Being aware of one's surroundings is always important. Just be ready to enjoy getting to know a place, it's history, and it's people, and you'll be fine alone or otherwise.

My hat is off to all solo travelers. I know I could never be part of your group. I don't even like going to the supermarket by myself, never mind a vacation, anywhere. I would start talking to myself if I didn't have someone with me, seriously. Right now I travel with my husband only. We sometimes go alone or with other family members. If I were ever alone, the best I could hope for would be a participant in a RS tour. From what I read here, people on these tours are very nice and inclusive. It is subject that needs serious thought.

Barbara, the world is full of people who think that something is beyond them and then life happens. These same people usually find the courage and fortitude to move forward. I have full confidence that if the time comes when you need to make these type of choices, you will be able to do anything that you choose to.

You are right, we never know what the future holds for us. Also, we don't know what we are capable of until the opportuni arises. For now, I am planning all my trips as a couple.

One could choose to look at solo traveling in Europe in this manner: barring any health and physical issues, if others can do solo traveling, ask yourself, then why can't I?

I do a lot of solo travel, as my husband is a homebody and doesn't want to go.
I've got a dear friend who lives in Europe, and she and I sometimes meet up for part of my trips to Europe; but I'd say that 60% of each trip I'm solo. I love it!
I rent apartments, so I have a safe haven with a terrace, kitchen and Wifi. (and a washing machine so I can travel light(er). )
I pretend I live there, wherever it is!
Love the freedom.
Last Feb. I had a whole two weeks alone in Paris, as my friend couldn't join me there; and it was one of my best trips.
Usually I go to Italy France or the UK; but in December I'm off to Iceland and Denmark solo.
Sometimes I'll take a language class if I'm in a place for a couple of weeks.
Be brave everyone!
I'm 63 by the way, so not a spring chicken anymore, except in my own mind.

I have recently been struck by the number of posts that have been made
by people wondering if it could be safe to travel solo or saying, "my
husband insists that I not travel solo."

In this day and age, what a very sad thing to read.

I've been traveling alone on business since I was 22. I'm 47 and travel on my own extensively on business and some for pleasure. There are times my husband isn't available to travel when I am. My solo vacation travel began as I used the frequent flyer miles I accrued from business trips starting at age 22 to travel to Europe. I go for long weekends at least once per year to meet a few of my college friends from various European countries; we change cities each year to make it more fun. It's easy to to do from NYC.

Feel sad for Barbara above who feels she could never be part of the solo travel group and that she'd be talking to herself. People who are freaked out by the concept of solo travel for fear of being lonely don't seem to understand that when you travel solo and put yourself out there just the tiniest bit, you end up meeting some really interesting people that you would never meet if you were traveling as part of a couple, a family or with another friend from home. Being solo makes you way more approachable.

I've noticed a distinct difference in the number of locals I get into a deep conversation with when I travel with someone from back home vs. when I travel solo. When I have a travel companion, I'm way less likely to put myself out there and get into conversation with others because I've already got someone from home I can talk to. But alone? Totally different and I've had some really great experiences hanging around with both locals and other travelers I've met along the way.

I also don't get the "my husband insists I don't travel solo" and the cringe-worthy "I'm not allowed to travel solo". Huh? Last I checked it was 2017 and women didn't need a permission slip signed by their partner "allowing" them to travel. At first I thought maybe it was a generational thing, but I've heard women my age say that same thing. I have a great partner and love him dearly, but he's a lousy travel partner. Aside from Scotland, England and Ireland where he's gone in the past to play soccer, he's just got zero interest in actually getting on a plane and leaving the United States. Even within the U.S. he's not a great traveler unless it's a place that's remote, wooded and involves a lake or mountains. But he'd never discourage me from going off on my own and traveling to places he isn't interested in. And if he did try to put his foot down and squash my travel plans??? I'd just laugh and say "Awww, that's cute! See you in a few weeks when I get back from my trip."

@Barbara...my grandmother use to say that it's OK to talk to yourself, it's only when you start answering yourself that you have to start worrying!!

I'd like to redirect the thread back to the original topic if I might.

What are your thoughts and experiences traveling solo?
What skills are helpful for traveling solo?

I think it is important to respect the fact (and embrace it) that we all approach things differently and that the differences are okay.

I think Emma's point is important: if you tend to rely on a partner to split travel tasks, you will be in charge of it all solo.

The biggest hassle for me is taking my carryon into the bathroom stall at airports. And that's perhaps two or three times per trip.

I'm with you Zoe on the hassle of bringing the carry-on into the bathroom! It almost makes me want to check my bag, and when I am traveling with someone, it feels like a luxury to leave my bag with them while I use the toilets.

Dovetailing what Emma and Zoe said, you simply have to take all responsibility - the good and bad - when you travel alone. So you need to be more resilient when things go wrong. Many people don't want to assume all the risk of their travel decisions and the fallout - it feels lighter when shared (there's also someone else to blame for not meeting expectations if it's a joint trip or a group tour). The folks that say there's no difference in skill set are likely the same folks who contribute a lot, if not most or all, to the operations of traveling with someone else. Meaning they already take what they contribute for granted because they're so used to doing it. But what about the other person who lets someone else do all the planning work and mostly just "shows up"? It would be a learning curve for them to suddenly have to do it all on their own. Many aspects of travel aren't automatic, you learn how to fine-tune your trips as you learn about yourself and what did or didn't work on prior trips. Your skills do sharpen over time through iteration and fine-tuning.

I think solo travel exposes you to a lot of things you wouldn't experience if you were with someone else. It can be both positive and negative. Overall, solo travel has been incredible, fun, and rewarding for me in a different way than group/partner travel. I'm a definitely a fan.

It seems like those that warn others not to travel solo are projecting their own lack of skills or flexible temperament on someone else, or fears they've built up for themselves...so it's hard for them to imagine someone else overcoming those obstacles. And then there's the "fear of the unknown" and the overgeneralization of risk (especially of terrorism) that's disproportionately applied to solo travelers.

What are your thoughts and experiences traveling solo?
What skills are helpful for traveling solo?

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/general-europe/traveling-solo-is-best-because

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/general-europe/1st-time-going-solo

@Zoe, I'm right with you on the carryon and the bathroom. Forgetting to put milk in your coffee, back to the front of the cafe, etc. Leave bag or not? Checking alleviates most of this time for me, but there are other moments.

@Agnes, I never thought of this, but the people who do all the planning in their family, couple, group are probably the ones who are more comfortable traveling solo. I love planning so solo is even more fun with the planning as I consider a few additional issues.

@Barbara, I talk to myself, answer myself, sing to myself, whether I'm alone or not... I'm an introvert, but when I travel alone, people chat with me! It's fun. And Barbara, there is no worry about not wanting to travel alone as that is just where you are in your life and you might not want to travel alone, but you might find with the solo travel seed planted, it will grow or it will have to grow (let's hope that's not the case). Best wishes!

OK. At the request of the OP who wants to hear about a specific skill a solo traveler needs to develop, I'll approach this from another angle...

You need to develop enough courage to shut down the naysayers and the Nervous Nellies (or Neds) that try to derail your plans from the get-go.

This can apply to men or women, but it's an especially important "skill" for women to develop who are thinking about solo travel because we tend to hear from far more of the naysayers. Learn how to block out that negativity. The negativity can come from anywhere - your spouse, parents, best friend, co-worker or a complete stranger.

Years ago on this forum I mentioned my intent to travel solo around the world for a period of one year. I instantly received a private message from a man who posted here (you know who you are!) telling me I should rethink my plan and not do this. He stated there "must be something wrong" with my home life if I was willingly going to leave for a full year to do nothing but travel. I'd already dealt with my friends and co-workers telling me how dangerous it was for a woman to travel to foreign countries alone, and now I had some complete stranger making asinine assumptions about the state of my home life! I felt like had I been a man, I would have had a comment like "Sounds great! Be sure to write a trip report when you get back!", but because I was a woman it was "must be something wrong with your home life to want to leave that long".

For the record, I brushed this stupid comment off along with the other naysayers. I packed my bag and spent a year traveling solo, and I had a fabulous time. So you can either believe in yourself and go forward with your solo travel plans, or you can listen to the negativity and stay rooted exactly where you are.

As I read through these responses, it seems that many of the skills needed to be a solo traveler are the same as those needed for someone who lives alone. Eating at a restaurant alone. Going to a movie or play or concert alone. Spending a weekend away alone. Camping alone. Hiking alone.

When you live alone, you have all the responsibility for everything required to maintain your home. The garbage doesn't get taken out unless you take it. The rent or house payment doesn't get paid unless you pay it.

Whether they live alone or handle most of the responsibilities for a family, many people already have the skills required to travel solo, but have difficulty transferring them to a foreign setting.

Perhaps comparing how something they do every day at home is similar to doing the same thing somewhere else would help.

Beyond that, eating alone seems to be a big deal for many women. This might be a good place to start. I think some people might be very surprised at how many people, male and female, are eating lunch or dinner on their own.

Next step? Going to a movie alone.

Personally, I learned a long time ago that if I waited for others to do things with me, those things would not get done. Traveling is one of them.

I don't think I've developed any particular skills for my successful solo travels, more that the first thing I have is common sense and that I was fortunate to grow up next to San Francisco and got very comfortable going there alone. Many people I know are afraid of big cities. I have long since tuned out the chorus of "how can you go to ___ by yourself? Aren't you scared? Don't you get lonely? What if _____ happens?" One comment mentioned women might not want to be out wandering at night, and to that I say it all depends where you are. There's always the worry about finances without a partner, but with the right precautions in place I've been fine. A bit more thought and planning needs to happen for some things--you can't leave a long line to use the toilet because there's no one to hold your place, and no one to watch your tote on a train so it has to go with you, etc. There are times you feel like restaurants aren't thrilled with single diners--but also times they'll slip you in as long as you're done before a reserved party is due. One thing I will not do alone overseas is rent a car and attempt driving, and this is frustrating because there are a few places I want to visit where having a car would be useful.

I traveled solo to Italy last fall because my wife was not able to join me on that particular trip. I find that traveling alone has its pros and cons. You don't have a partner when traveling solo to notice things in the environment, like a sign pointing to the sight you are trying to find. No one to help you not make mistakes. I can't imagine driving overseas without someone to help navigate. Going solo does encourage me to be more present in the moment. When I travel alone I eat when I want and keep going as long as I want. There is no need to negotiate these things. My wife and I have different travel energy levels, and I don't mind pushing myself physically to see more. She is the sensible one and wants to go back to the hotel and relax. My feet hurt for ten days after I got back from Italy. Partly because I took only one pair of shoes that was not properly broken in, and partly because I pushed myself hard and was mostly walking for ten hours a day. It was not the best choice to go that hard, but I like that I still have that level of enthusiasm. It's more expensive to travel alone because a single costs more than half the cost of a double. I did not find that I got lonely at all, and had some nice conversations with fellow solo travelers and others. It makes me more outgoing to travel alone. I will go solo in the future if my wife cannot not join me and the opportunity presents itself.

The one basic trait one needs for solo traveling (aside from no physical and pressing health issues) is self confidence. I never doubted that at 21 I could do a solo trip for 3 months (exactly three weeks) since you don't know how much self confidence you are capable of. All I knew then was if "they" (other US backpackers) could do the trip, solo or otherwise, why can't I, unless "they" have something over me..more common sense, brains?

Of course, I was asked the usual questions about being scared, lonely, safety, crime, getting lost (no doubt I got lost numerous times in cities). More so now post 9/11, I am still asked these perfunctory questions when going over solo and not with family or friends. . Most of the time I just don't think about it, ie loneliness, fending for yourself, mentally and physically, safety apart from being aware of the immediate surroundings, getting lost, ( I just ask locals in the area or in a store.) You get used to traveling solo in Europe.

As accurately pointed out above, when you go solo over there, everything falls back on you. You miss the train, got on with the wrong ticket, oversleep, miss the train stop, etc, etc, The main point is what do you do about it. True that solo traveling is not for certain people...guys and women. A long time friend/colleague of mine, same age, late 60s said she just could not go to Europe, not even to England, solo as I still do because of her age (no health issues here). I told her "you couldn't go solo 25-30 years ago in your early 40s or 30s"....it's mental.

I agree with those who have said that there are no specific skills for solo travel that you would not use if travelling independently with others. It is more a matter of being self reliant, and not depending on others for all things. You cannot delegate tasks to anyone else. So you have to learn to do the things that you might not otherwise have done. It does mean that if you make a mistake, then you have to fix it, but if you are travelling alone, there are no arguments about who is to blame. You just go straight ahead with fixing your problem instead of wasting time arguing.

Made me smile Emma. You are so "right", there is no right way to travel despite the advice people may read here. I'm sure it intimidates some newbie travelers.

Well said, Emma! When people would pose the question about whether to pack jeans, I used to be one of the few that said "yes, go right ahead, it's what you wear at home and it's what they wear in Europe" but then the pile-on would start about why jeans are a horrible idea (too heavy, don't dry quickly when rained on or hand-washed, too hot in summer). That noise has quieted down a lot since Rick Steves finally started showing up in videos wearing jeans while traveling.

When I suggest it's worth the money to take your dirty clothing once a week to the laundromat, the hand-washers come out of the woodwork to decry that notion. "It's a waste of your sightseeing time! Throw your dirty underwear on the shower floor and by the time you finish washing yourself, your clothes will be clean!" Call me a rebel, but I don't sightsee 24/7 and it takes 60 to 90 minutes at most if I choose to do a few loads of laundry in an actual machine. I've been known to multi-task and while my clothing is in the machines, I'm having a coffee, checking email, writing postcards and have, on several occasions, popped across the street or next door to have a quick beer when I've seen a bar nearby.

I do think the way pickpockets and scams are talked about on here scare the beejeezus out of those new to travel. And while I do try to keep my packing limited to one-bag, preferably a carry-on size, I know that's not always possible if someone is taking a very lengthy trip. I also prefer backpacks over rolling bags, but it's perfectly understandable to me that for some the option to pick up a pack and carry that weight may be too much for them.

Travel is not one-size fits all for people. One can share advice and lessons learned, but no reason to demand everyone else follow their practices because it's "the right way to travel".

emma,

Your most recent comments also made me smile. I sometimes get too focused on the details of travel, so they were a good reminder to take a more relaxed approach.

I've been a solo traveler for quite a while and I certainly prefer it. I remember being stunned when I did weekend trips with friends during my 20s and they'd sleep until noon, then lay around in their underwear and watch trash tv until it was time for happy hour. Or, they'd want to go see the same movie we could see back home rather than do things unique to the city. As I got older, I had travel companions who annoyed me in different ways. I had one who wanted to 'browse and wander' Now, I've certainly spent time walking around interesting neighborhoods and stopping in for a coffee or a beer, but I need some structure. On the opposite extreme, I had a friend visit Chicago who had an extreme touring plan carried out with military precision.

Solo dining isn't that awkward for me, but I'm not a die hard foodie so I'm not seeking out Michelin stars. I'm comfortable in a cafe, bistro, or a pub.

It is annoying that you don't get to split the costs of a hotel room, but traveling solo allows me to take advantage of some of the very small hotel rooms that would only be acceptable to a very close couple traveling together. Those glass partition bathrooms can be a deal breaker for all but the closest of couples.

it is nice to be able to set your own pace. You're not stuck wasting time in a gift shop while your companion looks at endless tacky tourist souvenirs without buying anything. You have complete control to decide to skip an item on your agenda if your legs are just too tired and you'd rather watch a local sporting event at a pub .

The above post is absolutely correct, there is no one right way to travel. A great friend of mine will only do all inclusive resorts. That would bore me to tears, but I know she'd be scared of her own shadow even in London and worried that Jack the Ripper was lurking around the corner in Trafalgar Square. I had a coworker that mocked me for my habit of arriving extra early at the airport. I'd rather pay for the overpriced airport beer than be one of the cool kids and running to catch my flight, taking my belt and shoes off as I attempt to set a world record in the 100 meter dash! I admire a lot about Rick Steves, but I'll never travel carry on only unless it's a domestic weekend trip to a warm weather destination. My backpacking days are well behind me, I do pack light, but I'm well prepared to do laundry or have it done for me on a trip longer than a week. There's no way on earth I'm going to wash clothes in my hotel room. i bring jeans most of the time unless it is a hot climate or I know I'll need something dressier.

There truly is no one way to travel. But, if I ever travel with a companion again, there will certainly be discussions beforehand about expectations. The last thing I need is another 'free spirit' who thinks I'm being anal by always taking the hotel's business card with me. I do that so I can always hop in a cab and get back to the hotel. That's the same reason I always take a picture of the hotel room number. I don't need any more late night drunken texts from a companion asking me what the name of the hotel is or where the room is.

On my first trips over in the summer of 1971 and'73, I saw tons of North American college age kids, as I was then, there as backpackers, girls and guys, in the HI hostels especially those in Vienna, Heidelberg, Hamburg (some), Nürnberg, Munich, obviously, Koblenz, and the student hotel in London Kings Cross. I am sure the HI hostel in Frankfurt had tons of American backpackers then too, but I didn't go there in those years. I wonder if those whom I saw then would now do solo traveling (barring any physical and health issues) since they did that some 40 years ago.

The most important aspect of solo traveling is you learn about yourself (should you care to do that), gain self confidence. You plan on tracking the sights alone, you get there alone, explore them alone, board the train alone, day or night train, you get lost alone, you ask at the train station alone, you have to be alert and aware of your surroundings alone, ie it all falls back on you alone.

Doing laundry in a hotel or Pension room sink is easy, have a good small, sturdy brush (I got one at Rossmann, which are located in major German train stations), Tide liquid concentrate bags or some German Waschmittel, and you're in business, after which is a fresh set of underclothes. How long does it take? Never timed it, but one hour or so, better than the alternative.

My husband and I lived in Germany for a few years while he was in the military, and I also lived in Germany while attending university and working prior to our marriage. This whetted our appetite for travel in Europe, and we returned to Europe every year or so after we moved back to the US. Travel together worked out well for us, as our travel styles were similar. After his sudden death a couple of years ago, I was a bit apprehensive about traveling alone. Not because of fear or lack of confidence, but more along the lines of worry about being lonely. I wet my feet on solo travel by taking a RS Ireland trip last year, which was great fun. Then six months later I spent a week and a half on my own in Rome in addition to a RS Sicily trip. I found myself really enjoying the solo part of my vacation and learned that I could always book a short group food or historical tour with a local guide for the times I needed more company. The appeal of solo travel only intensified for me this summer, when I spent time in Spain and Portugal with a longtime friend. My learning on this trip was that it doesn't matter how long you know someone -- traveling with them can reveal incompatibilities you could not anticipate. From now on, I am a confirmed solo traveler.

Emma, thank you for your down to earth comments. I have read many recommendations on this forum and frequently say to myself... "This is not me." I have stopped trying to fit "me" into the recommendations. I will wash some clothes in the sink at the hotel but will also avail myself of a laundry and even use hotel laundry services. It all depends.

For skills and practice? Never hesitate to ask for help whether from the hotel, a policeman or woman, train employee, shop keeper, etc. And always be polite even when you feel like crap and even when saying "no" over and over again to some street vendor, etc.

I ALWAYS get to the airport/train station with plenty of time to spare just in case. That allows me to tackle any issues with check-in or cancellations. In getting to the airport/train station...go for convenience over cost.

I find the most challenging is dinner. In the US, I take a book or magazine. I do this as well in Europe but find that I people watch more and seldom read the book/magazine. I also do as most Europeans...unless I am going upscale (rarely), I will find my own table and not wait or expect someone to seat me. I think this was the most difficult challenge. And I round up the bill but DO NOT leave a 20% tip.

Carol, what a delightful thread. Thank you for starting it.

My first trip to Europe, several decades ago, was a solo venture. My three trips since were made with family members. Because of changes in my personal life, I will be going solo later this month to Germany and England.

There are certain travel skills necessary for traveling anywhere, especially in foreign countries, and with European travel, those skills are needed whether you are traveling alone, or with family and friends. But solo travel requires less travel skills (though they are essential) than a certain mindset or state of mind. Doing it alone takes a bit more self confidence--that you can handle unexpected events in a strange land, that moments of loneliness will pass, and that such travel offers a heightened sense of adventure and some unique advantages that need to be appreciated and taken advantage of.

A comment made by several is that dining alone can be awkward. I agree, regardless of whether I am dining at home, on a business trip, or on vacation. For that reason, especially at home, I tend to shun the more expensive restaurants and ask to sit in the bar area, where there is more social interaction.

Regarding comments about safety, I remind others than I am not traveling to Syria or Venezuela or any country where kidnap and ransom insurance is a serious consideration. For women concerned about solo travel, there is a travel blog by a young woman, Deborah Huber, that is both terribly well written and instructive. It has features discussing travel by women abroad.

And to Carol and all others responding above, thanks again. I have enjoyed this thread immensely.

The one thing I find awkward on dining alone is that restaurants are full when you get there. Then you have to decide whether to stay or leave. In Austria, Germany and England dining alone presents no problems at all, not awkward, I don't even think about it, etc. In France, admittedly, I am a bit more self conscious dining alone but then it also depends on the establishment.

Several people have mentioned not liking to eat alone in a restaurant. I enjoy eating at the bar when it's an option. It's the same food and you are more likely to find other solo diners. And, if it's not too busy, you can chat with the bartender. I used to think I needed a table to sit by myself with a book. I've found the bar is more sociable and most times I prefer it.

Great thread, Carol. I just got back from my first guided tour (Ireland), having been accustomed to solo, do-it-yourself travel. It was a small group (16), 1 really difficult person, everyone else quite pleasant. Overall, it was a good experience, but it sure clarified why I prefer solo travel: I'm weird and different. My idea of a good time is to wander around outside for hours and hours and hours (I'm quite feral, really), and I have no desire whatever to have my picture taken while I'm standing in front of things (although when people ask me to take a picture of them while they're standing in front of stuff, I happily comply).

I'm single, female and 62, and have extensively traveled solo throughout Europe and Asia with no problems--and I don't speak any languages. I did carry a phrasebook (and now have my smartphone), which helps immensely, and I have always made an effort to approach locals in their own language, but lots of people speak English. Safety has never been an issue - America is far riskier for violent crimes than Europe.

For those who worry that they might be lonely, I have found that traveling solo throws you into situations where you meet people you might never have met had you not been alone. In London, I chatted with a Scottish member of Parliament and his wife at a small cafe, and spent an evening eating, drinking and exchanging stories with a German couple in Fethiye, Turkey. I spent three days traveling with an Australian couple I met on the train in Italy. And an older Turkish woman sitting next to me on a rickety bus traveling from Antalya used sign language to converse (and shared her traveling snacks with me). I've met people from all over the world--both locals and other travelers--and have rarely felt isolated or alone when traveling.

Best of all, traveling solo gives you total freedom to go anywhere and do anything you want, whenever you want. You can change your plans and change your destination at a moment's notice. There are a few drawbacks. It's more expensive. A single room costs more than sharing a double and there are less of them available, and if you choose to rent a car, you're forced to bear the full cost yourself. But by and large, I wouldn't trade my solo travel experiences for anything!

First, as a fellow solo traveler, I'm enjoying these terrific and thoughtfull responses! So many great points here.

I've traveled solo for work for about 20 years, have done a couple of week-long solo road trips, and gone solo to Europe independently and on RS tours. To answer the OP's inquiry re: skills, here's a few thoughts:

• There's a difference between being alone and lonely, and figure out what each means for you. For the latter, join a day tour or walking tour, eat at the bar vs a table, chat up hotel and retail staff (my new thing is asking "where do you like to eat?" - people are more likely to suggest nontouristy restaurants. Another option if you are hesitant to dine alone: do a food tour at lunch-dinner time.

• Figure out how much structure you prefer in your day - you may already know this, so just apply it to your vacation. I like having a couple of must-sees in my day and leave the rest to serendipity (and that can mean spending time taking the perfect selfie on a footbridge or enjoying a freshly made pre-dinner donut - whatever makes you happy!)

*That last point about doing whatever makes you happy isn't a skill but is definitely what makes solo travel awesome! E.g., I love perusing foreign supermarkets - I call them the museums where you can buy the exhibits. I also love to walk around cities and take in my surroundings. When I'm on my own, I don't have to worry about negotiating preferences in what to do or whether someone's feet are tired or if I change my mind 5 times about what museum I want to go to.

The good thing is that you can practice these things wherever you live. Go and do something in a touristy town or city near where you live as a trial run.

Regarding eating alone...I just don't find it to be that much fun. So instead of taking a table, I generally eat at the bar. Most often there are others there who welcome conversation. I also strike up conversations with the servers and others. I am also willing to have a conversation with someone who does not share my language. I met a lovely woman who was a painter while lunching at the Prado in Spain. Using my RS Spanish language book (she and I both used it!) and gestures we had a brief yet warm conversation.

Not particular to solo travel, but perhaps more important since you are on your own, is planning the trip and staying organized while traveling. I do as much work (including printing train tickets) at home as possible so I don't have to waste time while traveling. Sure, I can print my pre-purchased train tickets from a kiosk, but why bother when I can take them with me? I load my CityMaps2Go with hotel, transit and major sites before I leave home. Doing this gives me confidence about my 'belonging' to a place. I know where I am going and how to get there.

Developing a flexible attitude is essential. When things go 'wrong' that's not an error, it's just a 'change.'

I get a kick out of posting my adventures each day on FB. This gives me a nice diary for the day and I enjoy the feedback from friends and family. I've had more than one friend tell me 'thanks for taking me on your vacation.' Knowing others are enjoying my trip along with me is fun.

Hubby and I travel together. I do a lot of the planning and we have taken some RS tours. There are some days that he is tired or not interested in seeing ABC (another beautiful cathedral) so I strike out on my own.
We are both comfortable with that. I have not had to have dinner alone, I have stopped for a cappuccino
or glass of wine and that was fine.

I do admire people who travel alone because I can see where it would take some getting used to.
Better than not traveling at all!

Carol has a great idea about traveling to closer domestic places alone to learn how to do it.

I think that's really smart.

Keep on Traveling!

It is important to learn basic phrases in national languages which are used in particular countries that we visit. In Europe this is not a big problem for Americans as many people speak English, but sometimes we are in problematic situations and the ability to speak in national language can be very helpful. The most important, except English, are German, French, Spanish and Russian, but if you travel to small country with different language, you can look for distance lessons before arrival, e.g. about Polish on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnXYW1RcLUg

Most of my travel has been solo. It works for me. There is nobody to blame if things go wrong

@ Michal....Very true on the use of languages in Europe. The three trips I made to Poland in 2001, '03, '05 I used English and German, which ever the other person was more comfort in speaking. Twice I was addressed in German by Poles, in Krakow and in Chelmno (near Torun) and had nice conversations using the common language between us...German.

When we checked in at the hotel in Krakow, the Mrs and I used English with the staff woman, presented our USA passports, etc. The next morning she was on duty, saw her speaking German, I said afterwards (in German), so you speak German too? Mind you, her English was good, quite understandable and correct, etc but she said she spoke German better, or, more comfortably, than she did English. After that I used German talking to her. On other occasions in Poland, such as at restaurants, train station counters, etc I used English to inquire.