Traveling Alone - share your wisdom

Don't like, LOVE the freedom traveling solo provides. Can do and see what you want when you want. If you want to enjoy a 3 hour lunch, sit for hours on a park bench or spend an entire day in a museum, you can do so. Surprised how well mannered people are in every country. Never feel unsafe as a female on my own. Don't put myself in compromising situations, don't stay out late, nor non intrusive by nature, so I don't normally chit chat. Having the time to linger, feel safe, listen carefully and immerse one's self in the moment without interference (Are we there yet? Didn't you bring the kleenex? Where's my passport?) is a godsend. Certain you'll feel that as you hike in NZ.

I travel by myself about 80% of the time, always have. As a woman traveling alone, I used to always make it a point to be in my lodging by dark and not go out, even in big cities or to major tourist sites, which really put a damper on my sightseeing, dining, etc. Now that I'm in my 60's I seem to have become more courageous as that doesn't bother me so much anymore. I'm not so concerned about safety anymore, I just use common sense and don't "ask" for trouble. I'm also somewhat of an introvert, don't start up conversations with strangers, etc. As others have said I like almost everything about traveling solo (being spontaneous, not having to compromise on what I want to do, or when, or for how long) except for 2 things: nobody to share costs with and I miss having someone to share the "ahhh" moments with. When I walk a path and come to an awesome vista I want someone to nudge and say: "do you believe this?!" Also it's nice to have someone else to drive once in a while so I can indulge in a brewsky or two. On the whole, for me traveling solo is usually a very satisfying experience. Randy, enjoy New Zealand, you'll love it. I did a tour there with a group of lighthouse enthusiasts but also spent a week on my own before the tour. New Zealanders are the friendliest people I've ever met (except for the Irish) and everywhere I went I felt welcomed. I can be a little chickenish when walking in the woods so it was nice to know there are no venomous snakes or insects and no dangerous wild animals to worry about - just watch out for those parrots that attack cars and eat the rubber parts (windshield wipers, etc.)

As others have said the best part is that you can do what you want without anyone else's input. ; ) I do find that I crave human interaction at some point. I get it by sitting at the bar; by taking a tour; by talking with people in my hotel even if it's the hotel manager. ; ) Also, depending on the country getting a single room can be challenging. Don't know how New Zealand fits into that issue. Pam

New Zealand motels were pretty much like US and Canada. No problem asking for a single room. I was there 9 years ago so can't speak to now but had no problem finding budget lodgings there either.

My preference would be South Island and even down to Stewart Island, but spending as much time as possible in the Southern Alps. Bargain sleeps can be found in packbacker style motels. One source is http://www.bbh.co.nz/default.aspx. I'm ambivalent both ways. If somebody wants to tag alone, fine. Otherwise, I'm pretty self-sustaining. About a third of my trips are solo. That said, my favorite travel partner is my adult leader and she and I swap destination preferences fairly evenly - - but we don't hesitate to split up for a week or so on a trip if one wants to go where the other has no interest. You'll probably find New Zealand to be less expensive than you did Australia. Christchurch will rip your heart out. Spend money, they need it.

This is actually a return visit to New Zealand for me. We were there in June, 16 months ago - during their early winter - and the climate was just too cool and wet (rained almost every day) to enjoy it as much as we should have. In particular, it made hiking almost impossible with the family in tow. So I'm hoping that being there three months earlier will get me better weather. Don't really need NZ planning advice, as I've got that pretty well covered. I'll be tramping the Tongariro Crossing (North Island), Abel Tazman Coastal Walk, and both the Routeburn and the Kepler near Milford Sound (South Island) - staying in hostels and tramping huts. So any amusing traveling alone stories to tell; "I remember this one time;...."

I've travelled alone in Europe quite a bit. Obviously I like it, though I'd rather be with my wife. As others mentioned, it's a bit lonely when there is no one there to share the amazing moment or sight. Never had an issue eating alone as long as I bring a book or journal to write in. Depending on how long I'm gone, it can get difficult to be motivated to get out first thing and see everything. A second person can push the pace, which is something I need sometimes. I'm also in introvert, to the quiet time doesn't bother me at all.

I traveled by myself for the first time a couple weeks ago in London. I was with my sister 24/7 for a week in Paris before then, and in London I met up with a friend from Leicester for the first two days of my visit so I was used to being with people all the time (and of course all I wanted was to be alone). For the last 6 days, I didn't know a soul in the city. It took a bit of time to get used to being alone but I'm an introvert also, so most of the time I was fine by myself. I loved going to a museum every day and not having to think about anyone but myself. I had a kitchenette in my hotel room so I ate 2 out of 3 meals in my hotel room. I ate lunch at museums and I felt a bit weird sitting alone. I'm not much of a nightlife person so I'd get back to my hotel room in the evening and watch TV, write in my journal, and read. It was then that I'd get a little lonely and wish I had a friend with me to talk about the day with. But for the most part I didn't mind being by myself.

The sociology of dining alone is kind of interesting. Seems like it's less common for women to eat alone, and they are more likely to find it distressing. Is this just a cultural construct, or are men innately more comfortable with being the "lone wolf" in public? I remember many serene solo meals in European restaurants, but it was occasionally a bit uncomfortable in crowded places where I was right up next to someone else. Sarah, I find it a bit interesting that you were not totally comfortable even eating lunch in museum restaurants. Eating lunch solo is more socially acceptable across the board.

I have no problem eating alone at a restaurant. While I do prefer to have company, I will never deny myself the opportunity to have a great meal or linger in a cafe just because I am traveling solo. To me, trying different food and wines is one of the great pleasures of travel. However, I'm pretty sure Randy that you noted in a post a while back that food was something that wasn't important for you when traveling. So I come to my real point ... Think about what you enjoy doing (whether alone or with others) and work that into your schedule. For example, I love music and theatre. Whenever I travel, I look to see what is in town and I try to work that into my plan; I've seen musicals, plays, operas, classical concerts, folk singers, and rock concerts over the years while traveling solo. I love to cook; I've taken cooking classes in London, Paris, Italy, and Barcelona. I occasionally see a film when I have a free evening; going to a film in another country can be its own cultural experience. Don't let the fact you are solo prevent you from getting the most out of your trip.

i travel alone all the time. i used to joke that the only downside was that i was getting so spoiled that i could no longer handle traveling with anyone else. well that seems to have become a reality. even when i do travel "with" people, i make my own transportation arrangements and book my own hotel. so basically its just two people traveling to the same destination independently. regarding dining: i am not big on eating in restaurants in europe. the language barrier, me being super picky and scared of what will end up on my plate, etc. i also just can not stand the whole waiting around to be served/waiting for the check. so i tend to do grab and go. i dont mind eating solo in restaurants though. i do it very often when i travel domestically. sometimes it would be nice to turn to someone and point and say "hey! look at that!". but it doesnt outweigh everything else that drives me nuts.

The best thing about going alone is seeing what I want to see on my schedule. I don't have to take responsibility for others or make sure they're happy. For dining, I usually get something quickly at a corner stand or grocery store - I'm not a foodie - so there's no awkward fine dining alone. I'm more of an extrovert, so I never seem to have trouble talking to people when I'm alone. It's more of a problem when I'm with someone because I don't want them to feel ditched or left out - so I normally just talk to them. Hostels work best when you're alone, they're perfect for a night's sleep on the road and shower to start the next day.

I've been traveling alone since I turned 18 and I loved it for the same reasons as the others have written. But a couple of years ago I've started traveling with my little sister in Asia and Australia and learned some things: -I don't feel guilty about the cost of the hotel room (like I did when I traveled alone). -Sometimes it's nice to talk to someone at the end of the day about what you saw and did. -It's fun to get lost in a new place with someone (and debate about it.) -I like being the boss of my sister. -I can now have a photo of myself (and my sister) in front of a tourist spot (like the Angkor Wat, Sydney Opera House and Great Wall of China.) What I do when I travel alone: -I only go someplace near my hotel at night. -I always have a contact number for the US Embassy and the local equivalent of 911. -Whenever I ride a cab, I write the body number and (if written in the interior) the plate number and send it as a text message to my mother's phone. -I always wear earphones and set my iPod volume to low, to discourage people from talking to me in the subway, the plane or while I'm eating.
-When I first traveled alone, I looked way younger than my age and would attract all sorts of characters especially when I dine in a restaurant so I would pretend to not speak English, I would alternate between "Je ne parle pas anglais" or "No comprendo. No hablo ingles." or something resembling an Asian language depending on where I am at the moment. I still do that.

I usually travel alone. I have found over many years that almost every tourist I meet is ready to have a conversation. What surprised me most was that couples often seem more eager than solo travelers - guess it's the novelty of someone ELSE to talk to after the intense 24/7 experience. I've also found that when staying in hostels it's easy to hook up with others for a day's outing, and also to compare notes and get advice. Chances are they've either just been or just going to the same places you are. Specifically in New Zealand I found the locals very ready to chat. I always travel with my iPod. I have all my music on it and several audio books too. Then on a train or a long walk, I can choose what to listen to - maybe just the silence around me. When I'm dining alone, I often use the time to update my travel journal. The one thing you will probably want is a way to keep in touch with the family. I can't think of anything else.

I always travel solo, and usually do part of a trip alone and then join a tour group. I don't enjoy eating alone either, but I am getting better about finding places where it is more comfortable (e.g., tapas bars in Spain). I am a foodie but also am pooped out at the end of a busy day, so I frequently find something easy to bring back to the hotel, put my feet up, and decompress. If you're wanting a little interaction, try doing day trips or local guided walks where you'll meet other people. Since you'll be in an English speaking country, chatting with store clerks, waiters, and hoteliers can lead to delightful interactions. On my last two trips I did a blog, and that helped me in two ways - first, it made me feel connected to people at home and they could enjoy the trip with me (and frankly, notice if I suddenly went missing!). Second, it helped me focus and reflect at the end of the day on what I had done, seen, experienced, and enjoyed. One of my goals was to be more mindful of my travel experience - thinking about my day and writing it down helped me capture some of those feelings. I think I enjoyed my recent trip the most because of this.

I have traveled alone frequently and often times prefer it. I like to do things in my own time frame and since I am a photographer I can do a pretty good job of amusing myself. Sometimes I meet locals or other travelers, and sometimes not. One of the first times I traveled alone I felt a bit awkward during the dinner hour in a beach town on the french riviera (I was sure everyone would think I was a loser with no friends:)) So, when everyone else went for dinner I stopped at a little place that had some carry out food and took it to the beach where I had the most glorious time watching the sunset as everyone else was in town. I literally had the whole beach to myself...It was heaven!
There are times on my solo trips where I do wish there was someone to share an amazing experience with, but then I remember how much I love my freedom and it passes. It is just a different kind of trip and I love all different kinds of travel experiences.

Rik, I had the same experience when I joined the Army in 2004 and was stationed in Germany. Man, I miss those four day weekends. A friend who came over for a few trips said, "I don't get all that traveling alone you do." My response was, well, no other soldier I know here wants to travel nearly as much as I do, so I either go solo or hang around the garrison the whole time. Some people did bus tours to Paris, but that was about the extent. It was funny to me how a lot of the Americans never figured out the train system. When one woman heard that Amsterdam was five hours away, she said, "Oh, I'd have to fly, that's too far to drive."

I joined the Army in 1998 because I wanted to see Europe and they sent me to Germany. I had already done the college and corporate thing and found it wasn't for me so when I got to Germany I spent every free weekend and holiday backpacking around Europe. I really miss those days, the freedom of it all, the excitement of seeing a new place. None of the other soldiers ever wanted to go anywhere except the club downtown so about 95% of the trips I took were by myself which I actually preferred. Most of the time I didn't even decide where to go until I got to the train station. I'd stay at youth hostels and invariably end up meeting other backpackers or travelers like myself but I loved the freedom to go where I wanted and do whatever I felt like doing at any given moment. I always found the key to enjoying myself was to be adventurous and not worry about bad things happening. There've plenty of crazy things - being propositioned by a huge black guy walking back to the hostel in Strasbourg at 2am, having a junkie light up a crack pipe under my legs as I was trying to sleep outside the train station in Amsterdam, etc. - but I enjoyed every second and never once felt scared or threatened. I think about all the unique experiences I had and I doubt I would have had half of them if I were traveling with other people.

Randy, I usually travel alone for several months at a time. Sometimes a friend will join me for a 10-day or 2-week segment, and I really enjoy that, but I also enjoy traveling alone. I consider myself an introvert, too, but that doesn't stop me from starting a conversation with someone at a restaurant, cafe, or even a tourist site. What surprised me was the same thing others have mentioned: no one to nudge and say, "Look at that!". That's when I usually take a photo or pull out my journal (journaling or using an ipad is the international signal for "I prefer to be alone now", I think). I haven't been to New Zealand, but in Europe I would consider taking a city-walk tour if I want company (haven't done it yet). Since you'll have hiking gear with you, you can identify other potential dayfriends by their gear, or start a conversation in a bar to compare stories after your hike.

So if one normally travels with his significant other, how does he handle missing those intimate times? I understand feeling lonely when you're back at your hotel with no one to talk to, but isn't there also a void with respect to not enjoying private time with your partner, like you might normally have when at home? BTW, this is a serious question. Just curious to know how solo travelers address this delicate issue.

I can totally identify with the sadness of having an "Ahhhh..." moment at a fantastic vista and having no one to share it with. That will be a challenge for me, particularly since I will be in some pretty dramatic natural settings and hope to have several of those moments. I love blogging and will hope to do that whenever I am back in civilization with wifi. That will help me feel connected with people back home. But being an introvert, I don't expect to be feeling too lonely - just slightly nervous about what dramas might be happening back home that my wife has little experience dealing with by herself.

I hear you Will. Other soldiers would sometimes ask me "Man, how do you afford to go all these places every weekend" and I'd tell them, "You could afford it too, you make the same amount of money as I do but you'd rather spend it all at the NCO club..." One time I managed to drag three other barracks mates to Nurnberg for a daytrip (I was stationed in Wurzburg so it was like an hour train ride) and they all spent the train ride home talking about how awesome it was, how much they enjoyed it and how they need to do more stuff like that...then next weekend they were back to drinking Budweiser in the barracks. Hey, I did my best. One of my best friends is a retired Army officer and he once told me that he doesn't know how I could go to all these places and do all these things by myself because he'd be way to scared to go all these places by himself. The guy is a retired Special Forces officer and he thinks traveling around Europe by yourself is too scary!

Will - I felt weird eating alone because I didn't have my book or iPod Touch to focus on. If I have something to occupy me, I'm fine. But I had to look around at things and pretend not to eavesdrop on conversations that people were having right next to me, so it felt a little awkward.

I enjoy photography and always have my camera with me when travelling alone. Enables you to "sghare' what you saw, and also gives you something to concentrate on instead of dwelling on how alone you are. In fact being on your own does free you up for getting just the right photo. There are always opportunities to comment to people around you, ask questions, take their photos for them etc- even if you dont have a camera

I haven't really traveled alone (keep meaning to, really will this year!) but my husband has a very odd schedule and despite being more of an extrovert I don't want to be around people all the time yet don't always want to be in the apartment, but I never feel awkward eating alone or going to a bar alone. I just bring a book (or today, my kindle or smartphone) and enjoy a pleasant evening. And I think people are right about traveling couples being more chatty - I found my ears perking up whenever I heard English on my last trip and ended up talking to a lot of travelers despite the fact that I was traveling with my husband. I love him and we travel well together, but it's nice to talk to somewhere else for a minute! And people rarely approach couples for conversation, whereas when you're solo, people are more likely to approach you (for better or worse...)

Another thought to break the alone time when missing your significant other - skype or face-time!