travel with adult kids

Kirsten.. my kids are adults now.. 19-25 almost ( birthday in a few weeks for one.. shes still 18)..

I travelled alone with them also.. ( not all the time,, just to Europe, hubby joined us for beach trips to Hawaii and cruises etc) .

I am now in a different situation.. remarrying.. and between us we have five kids.. all but one are adults also.
We have taken them on two trips.. just visits to beach resorts.. but so fun.. but several of the kids have partners now.. boyfriends and girlfriends.. and they must be included.. We managed one "our kids" only trip two years ago.. but now my oldest has been living with a girl for last year and half.. so she came on last trip. This is something you have to think about.. not that kids won't want to travel with you as they age.. but that now it may start to include partners.. and you have to be ok with that.

When they become adults and start dating more long term( don't worry.. they are still only teens..its when they are start into the 22, 23 yr old age range) .. it will never really be just you three again.. I make sure to welcome their partners , no point setting up and us or them situation, right.

Relax.. you do have some years left of just you three.. but the trips actually get even more fun when its 4, 5 or even 6 people .. just be flexible and NOT clingy.. you say you don't like solo travel ( I do ) .. but I hope you will be ok with trips that may be you having dinner on your own once in a while.. or a day or afternoon on your own .. so boys can do their own thing.. Be the fun mom to have along.. not the clingy one and it will all work out just fine..

Alas, in addition to having their own lives, young adults often have short vacations (compared with their teen long summers.) I did, however, get a great 2-week trip to Spain with my 27-year-old daughter (I paid, she hauled the bags up stairs)

I don't have kids but have traveled with my adult nephews and had a blast. We (the 2 of them at age 20 something, plus their Mom and Dad and me) did the Rick Steves Heart of Italy as our first foray back in to International travel. The adults had fun. The kids had fun. We had time together and time separately. The guys mixed with all the other adults in the tour group as did we adults.

As an adult I traveled with my parents. I was 40s-50s and they were 70s-80s. We had a wonderful time on those car trips. By the end I was doing all the driving and planning but we still had a ball and made lots of memories.

Perhaps you will find that you enjoy solo travel. I have done quite a bit over the last 2 years and find I really enjoy being a solo on a group tour with some solo time on each end. Thru the Rick Steves meet up we started locally I also found a wonderful travel friend and we spent a week together in Paris last Fall.

We have been traveling to Europe as a couple and with family members for years. Sometimes it's just my husband and me. Sometimes our sons and their spouses/children can join us for part or all of the trip. I think the way you travel now with your teens, soon to be young adult boys, will work well in future travels as they get older and have families of their own. Sounds like you have found a wonderful way to connect with your kids and give them some independence.

It depends but doesn't have to end. We had two sons who were world travelers before graduating from college. One took a five-month, around the world honeymoon. Now approach 35 and 40 they eagerly plan trips for their parents. Five years ago one organized a German Christmas trip for everyone. One follows travel zoo and quickly calls with deals that have to be decided within the hour. Just back from Cuba with older son and dil. In two weeks head to London and French wine country with younger son and wife. There big problem is time off. The New York son tries to work two long weekends and the week between and Chicago son is older has more vacation time. We tend to go a week early or stay a week or so longer or both and then travel together for a week in the middle. So we may travel for a month but spend ten days with one of the sons. They claim that they like traveling with us and I tend to pick up some of the expenses when we are on the ground - so that may help. Our four year old granddaughter has her own passport and one trip to Europe so I think it will continue.

PS Pat, we also took along a couple of girl friends so it got started early. Fortunately both girls because our daughter-in-laws so money wasn't wasted. Neither girl had a passport until they started traveling with us.

Thanks for the replies. It gives me hope to think we can continue traveling for years to come in various modified ways. I would be happy to have extra "kids" with me in time. We tend to spend longer in one place and day trip to various places and we're all happy to have down days where we do different things. I don't like solo travel but I enjoy some solo days. I think those are healthy as too much togetherness while traveling can be stressful.

It is still unfathomable to imagine an empty nest but at least now I can find hope for future journeys with my kids. Travel has brought us so much joy and great memories. It would be nice to continue together. With extras (in time) whom I hope also enjoy travel!

Kirsten- MY sister and I are both in our thirties and we both love traveling with our parents. I still take other trips but as a family, we do a trip abroad at least every other year with a lot of smaller trips in between. And we plan on traveling with them until they decide they are unable which I hope is many many years away!

Our extended family has followed suit and we are frequently joined my aunts/uncles and cousins in my age group or older.

It sounds like you have built up a great travel history with your kids. I am sure they don't want it to end either!

I always find this culturally interesting. As an Australian, we tend to head overseas on extended 3 month plus trips to Asia and Europe in our late teens or early 20s. The idea of traveling with parents at this age would send shivers down our collective spines.

I suppose if you are willing to pay all their travel expenses you might find them more receptive to joining you. I have a friend whose son is 22 and he agrees to go stay in Colorado for a week every spring to ski and snowboard. But now that he has graduated college, she says she doesn't think he will be joining her anymore since he will only have limited vacation time at his new job. If you don't like solo travel, maybe you have a couple of friends you can convince to join you on future trips, or you can always start signing up to travel with a tour group.

Sure you might be sad you are losing your travel partners, but don't lay on the guilt as they get older should they choose to not go on vacations with you. I caved to guilt once and agreed to take a 1 week cruise with my mom and sister when I was in my 20s and I really disliked that trip - I discovered big cruise ships are not my thing, and although I love them both, that much time together was not my cup of tea as I was no longer a kid anymore (and we even did separate shore excursions at some ports). Focus on being glad knowing that they probably already have some very distinct memories about the trips they did take with you when they where younger that will last a lifetime. I've traveled around the globe and seen some pretty amazing things, but my memories of time spent at the Jersey Shore in our cottage with my parents and siblings are really vivid and mean a lot more to me than seeing some of the great wonders of the world and Unesco sites. I'm sure if you asked them, your sons would be happy to share their memories with you.

Thanks for the insights!

I did not enjoy travel with my parents after the teen years either. But then my relationship with them was very different than my relationship with my kids. Mine are pretty vocal if they don't agree and I highly doubt either would travel with me out of guilt. We're all really open and honest.
Time will tell. We've always been close and the kids have enjoyed greater freedom and responsibilities than many of their contemporaries. I hope they do not feel restrained by me as many young people feel.

It is good to hear from adults who still enjoy their parents company on vacation!!!

Kirsten, My daughter's first trip to Europe, when she was 10, was with me and my parents; she's now 23 and has been back a number of times, both through study-abroad programs and with family. In 2013, she and I had a great trip to Sicily and to southern France, to see where she had studied abroad. In 2014, my 87-year-old mother, my sister and BIL, and I spent 2 weeks in France and one visiting friends in Scotland. So travel with kids can continue for many years!

My daughter now works as a substitute teacher in our local school system, and recently let me know that she can block out time on her work calendar whenever I want to travel. Neither her husband nor mine is particularly interested in general European travel, though I may be able to get mine to Germany again one day to visit family history sites. So adulthood does not necessarily mean the end of traveling together, even if/when your kids do marry. Lack of vacation time could certainly be a constraint, and so could lack of funds; I think part of the appeal for my daughter is that I would cover her expenses, which I'm happy to do. So don't despair; it sounds as if you all have already worked out wonderful ways to vacation together, and here's hoping for more great trips in the years ahead!

My first trip to Europe was with my then teenage sons, no spouse. Since that time have traveled to numerous places with my youngest son as oldest has four kids and little vacation time. We had dinner together tonight and he and his wife and I started planning our return trip to Ireland again in October. Am fortunate that our traveling together has not stopped. I also traveled with friends and relatives when the sons could not go so my traveling has not stopped with or without them and hopefully this will be the case for you!

Kirsten,

Thank you for this post, as I share your sadness. My husband and I travel often to Europe and abroad elsewhere with our daughters (now ages 17 and 19). Last year we did the "last hurrah" trip to Australia with them. Then we told them, because of summer jobs and looming responsibilities, that we would not be traveling abroad with them until they can "pay their own way." I may need to go back on that promise as I can't even imagine not traveling with them. We have so much fun together. And now even more fun as they come of age (we were able to go wine tasting with our older daughter in Australia). Interestingly, as my husband and I plan our current trip with another couple to Croatia, both daughters are now "interested" in Croatia, a destination they had no interest in before. The posts here give me hope of many more years traveling with my daughters and maybe with sons-in-law and grandkids too!!