Travel anxiety?

Hi C -
Relax: you are completely normal! I don't know anyone who doesn't stress a little before a big adventure. Being a little OC, checking and re-checking the to-do list is standard procedure for me! Drives my husband nuts.

We all have our own methods for reducing the jitters but what works for me is that check list plus a staging area for collecting everything I want to pack. Check off the to-dos as they're accomplished, and clothes, passports, documents, misc items as you put them into your bag. It's also reassuring that , other than your passport, tickets, insurance documents, credit and ATM cards, almost everything you might inadvertently leave behind can be purchased once you arrive in Europe. Forget to call the bank or credit card company? That can be done from Europe as well.

It may help to focus on just the few essential tasks to accomplish/ items to bring and breathe easy about the rest. Spend a little time with that guidebook every day to take your mind off your anxiety and think about all the great experiences you're going to have. Mentally replace that word "nervous" with "excited."

You don't have to feel all alone on your solo journey either: support is often just a post or phone call away, if you need it, and local people are usually more helpful than not. So take a deep breath, OK? You'll be fine.

Hi C,

I don't know if I am more traveled than you, but I am a ridiculous hot mess before I depart, especially the last week or so. 99.9% of my anxiety isn't even trip related. It is more based on anxiety over what may happen at home while I am gone (I am gone from anywhere between 1-3 months ...sorry, 90 days), like will my parents be ok, will the house burn down, etc... Such concerns are so completely out of my hands yet can be so debilitating. So personally, I like to binge on any movies, books, or shows that highlight the part of Europe where I am going. I like to get out old photos and remember how I love being there. I also try to remember that so few of my family have ever traveled beyond Florida, and the opportunity is HUGE. And although I have been to Europe multiple times, I view each time as possibly being my last time, I don't want to ruin it by being a nervous wreck. All this is pre-departure because ironically enough, once I get on that plane, I am SO in trip mode that while of course I think about life back home, it doesn't cause me anxiety.

I am sure that everyone gets some pre-trip jitters, but you have recognized that what you are experiencing this time is different than the other times. I think that you have already done the best thing you could do which is acknowledge your feelings and reach out to others.

Every time we try something different there is a "risk" associated with it. Usually we find the reward of travel far outweighs the risk and that is why we keep traveling over and over. Right before a trip, that risk seems bigger since you haven't had a chance for the reward yet.

Perhaps you could set up a "network" of friends or family with regular check in times that will help you feel less alone in your travels. Feel free to check in on this forum any time.

I totally agree with what's been posted so far. I have another suggestion - since your anxiety seems to stem from being by yourself when not on the RS tour, how about scheduling one or two planned activities for those times, to look forward to? I'm planning a solo trip and hope to take the Venice Photo Walk and a lesson with RowVenice.

I remember more nerves than usual before my first solo trip a couple of years ago. I distinctly remember the feeling of the plane lifting off the ground right as I was thinking "Was this a bad idea? Too late now!" But when I arrived, my excitement (and some fatigue, to be honest) took over and then it started to feel like any other trip. When I settled in that first day, it felt so freeing to not have to answer to anyone. I could nap when I wanted, eat when/where I wanted, spend as much or as little time at any sight as I desired.

I think my anxiety came from two places: 1. Am I going to hate being alone for so long? 2. It would really suck if I lost my purse/had it stolen since I am here by myself. As far as the being alone, some dinners did feel a little lonely. I would use that time to read or go through pictures or plan my next day. I scheduled a few night walking tours. The advice about scheduling a few day tours is a good one- it is a nice way to have some interaction with other people and give yourself a break from being your own tour leader.

And as far as number 2- I hate to even bring this up because I know how this conversation can usually digress. But it is a reality- the concept of losing your things or having something taken when you are alone is a little more daunting. Normally I am a crossbody bag person but I acknowledge that is not the most secure way. So I take some extra precautions when traveling by myself. I will wear a money belt or neck pouch, at least on my "in transit" days. I pack much lighter since to make train travel easier and to make it easier to keep an eye on my things.

I have been on multiple solo trips and ended up chatting with other women who tell me how jealous they are that I get to travel by myself. I suppose the grass is always greener. But don't look at solo travel as a handicap. It is a luxury!

I get pre-departure butterflies every time, and I also find a check list helpful. Calling the bank and credit card companies months ahead of time notifies them well in advance (especially when there are foreign transactions being placed to book lodging and other reservations), but checking with them again shortly before departure, they sometimes seem to no longer have that travel advisory on file! So, if it doesn't add to your stress, be aware that the banks might need a reminder one more time before you go! :-)

To help you cope physically before you take off (and I'm not always completely successful in this regard), try to ensure you're getting enough sleep, and eating properly so you're physically prepared for the challenges that await you as you fly over and start your 7-week adventure! Smile often and remind yourself that your experiences will outweigh the anxiety.

Some anxiety before traveling is normal. There is a lot of prep that has to be done, especially for a long trip, and this can lead to a lot of "what if" thinking. We have a natural tendency to protect ourselves, and trip anxiety is merely "protection" from whatever we may be imagining -- Will I remember my passport? Will I miss my train? Will I be okay on my own?

For things like your passport or the bank, having a good checklist works wonders. There's a lot to keep track of and no matter how nimble our brains are, we will forget something, so write it down. Divide the checklist into sections based on priority (remembering your passport is much more important than remembering a toothbrush). Once you pack something, cross it off the list, and don't unpack it. And most importantly, trust yourself when you look at the checklist and see that you've crossed off something -- you don't need to re-check it continually.

For things like being on your own, or being away for a long time, you need to specifically identify what you're fearing. Just being on your own is too vague of a fear. There's probably something more specific that you can address. For example, at one time I would have said that I would always be anxious when arriving in a new city/country. The specific issue for me was actually that I was imagining transportation disaster scenarios: getting on the wrong bus, getting ripped off by a cab driver, something bad happening with a rental car, etc. Once I recognized that this was the root of what I was fearing, the answer was simple. On my first visits to somewhere, I plan a transfer from the airport to my hotel ahead of time. Once at the hotel, I can take my time in figuring out how to get around the city. Doing that one simple thing puts my mind at ease. Anyway, just identify what you're really fearing, and that should put you well on the way of mitigating that fear.

Maybe because we done a lot of trips we don't really get any trip anxiety. But don't remember the really early trips. We do two things that probably for us kills an anxiety problems. We are enormous list people - Last item on list - Go to bathroom before locking house. And we have developed a fairly extensive list that we reuse from trip to trip. The second thing is that we are packed with suitcases at the door at least two and somethings three days prior to leaving. Also, since we are engaging in some time shifting that last two or three days are very relaxed for us. This also eliminates most of those last minute, "Did I do ......? Where is .....?" thoughts.

I've made 5 solo trips now and with each one I gain more confidence in my ability to plan and handle situations that may arise. For me 7 weeks would be an eternity, I find the most I can handle comfortably (and realistically take off from my job and afford!) is 2 weeks. Fears seem magnified when you're dealing with everything on your own, so for me planning and making notes and lists helps a lot. I know how much I can deal with when it comes to logistics, i.e. train trips, day trips, connections, and just think of it this way--after this trip you will definitely know what suits you best re length of time and solo or group travel.

While I love to travel and am comfortable with my own company I sometimes find myself thinking weird thoughts in the month prior to departure, along the lines of "This is going to be too much trouble, I should stay home!" Needless to say I proceed with my planning and once I'm on the plane it always turns out fine.

It makes no difference whether "everyone else" is also traveling solo or is busy with other things. You have prioritized travel, which we understand completely. You have some life experience and relevant travel experience to cope with whatever happens on this trip. You may have a more comfortable budget as well as more tech resources on this trip than any before. Hopefully, you'll pack lighter than ever before. As you visit new countries, you'll see that most things operate the same way (or maybe there are 5 different ways things can work, but not 50). Longer does not mean that it will be harder; it actually gets easier as you develop your rhythm. Meanwhile, you just take one day at a time, read one map at a time, book one hotel at a time. You might also want to review the solo travel tips at http://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/trip-planning.

Long trips away from your home routine, to countries where you may encounter planning and language difficulties, IS stressful. So your feelings are normal. You may have to walk distances you're not using to walking, and be away from the comforts of home for many hours during a day. Again, feeling stress would be normal. Those with their families and kids around them, and who maybe have some alone time in the sense that a long drive, with your family would be "normal", may get relieve from the stress.

If the quality of your trip experiences are up to a certain level, if they thrill you, then the stress is worth it.
If they aren't, you're doing the wrong trip, or approaching it wrong--wrong for you.
You could either get more exciting trips, to make the stress worth it, or choose domestic travel with shorter travel times and no language difficulties.

I've made 2 long trips solo, one for 5 weeks and one for 9 weeks (in addition to several shorter trips). I'm usually not able to sleep the night before I leave; whether that's pre-trip jitters, anxiety, or excitement I don't know. Everything that could possibly go wrong is going through my head - from forgetting my passport at home, losing it somewhere along the way, credit/ATM cards not working and not having enough cash to having an accident and getting hurt in a foreign country with no one else around. It can be scary. But eventually, after going over my lists and making sure that everything that could happen is prepared for, that anxiety goes away; usually when I'm on the plane and I didn't leave my passport or ticket at home I start to relax. The last days before a trip can be a roller coaster of emotions. You're not alone, happens to a lot of us. Just go with it.

~C,

You're not alone! I suffer from "travel anxiety" before every trip. Even though I've made many trips, that never seems to change and it doesn't matter whether the trip is a month or longer. Shortly before the trip, I often think, "do I really want to do this.... maybe I should just call the whole thing off and stay home..... I've got lots of work to do at home and should be doing that instead of travelling".

I use both an extensive pre-trip checklist as well as an extensive packing list, so all the "necessary" details are easy to keep track of. However three or four days before departure, I'm usually in "full panic mode" getting all the "little things" out of the way (cleaning the house, emptying the fridge, buying pet foods, etc.). I usually start loading the Backpacks a few weeks before departure day, but when I walk out the front door on the way to the airport there's always that nagging feeling that I've forgotten something. Even after arrival at the airport, I'm still running details through my mind.

My trips to Europe usually require two or three flights. By the time the first connecting flight has landed and I'm waiting in the departure lounge to board the actual flight to Europe, I start to settle into "holiday mode" and relax a bit. When the flight lands in Europe my previous worries are replaced by some new ones, such as which gate does my connecting flight leave from, did my checked bag get "lost" or how do I get to my hotel.

Once I wake up the next day for my first full day in Europe, the home worries evaporate and I start to enjoy the trip. You might find that it helps to focus more on the trip rather than the anxiety, and things should fall into place.

I also travel solo for long periods (89 days). All the above advice is good.

For me, while I am traveling, I need some sense of routine, which centers on not losing or forgetting things; I always keep things in the same place in the room, or even in the suitcase. I pack the night before departing somewhere, and only have to slip nightclothes and toiletries into the suitcase the morning of departure for a new city.

Most things can be replaced if you need to do so.

I always keep things in the same place in the room, or even in the suitcase.

I do the exact same thing. I've given myself countless minor heart attacks when I don't find something where I think it should be. Invariably, it's because I was rushed or lazy and didn't put something back in the same spot where I got it.

I could be a professional worrier, and an often solo traveler, so I totally hear you. My best advice is to control what you can control - it will make you feel better and focus less on the things you cannot control. As suggested above, that includes pre-trip checklists (I have a long one), planning out your first stop arrival (how to get from airport to hotel, have a hotel reserved, use google maps to see the street view), and research and compile options for your non RS tour activities (walking tours, day trips, cooking classes). I keep a blog while I'm on the road solo to connect with people who care about me and give my mom proof of life (I come by the worrier thing naturally). I'm terrible at savoring the moment, but that's just what I try to do when I travel alone - the time will FLY by and suddenly you'll be at the end of seven weeks and wishing you had more time. I recently went way outside my comfort zone and traveled to SE Asia (partly on own, partly with tour). I set some goals for myself so that I wouldn't be tempted to stay in my hotel all the time - things like eating a nice sit down meal (alone) at least every few days, setting up day tours waaaayy outside my comfort zone (private motorbike tour of Hue, Vietnam, it happened!), and scheduling other activities to do things I love (cooking classes in several places). That particular trip reminded me how lucky I am to have the privilege to travel - though it doesn't calm the worry-wart in me, it did provide some focus. Lastly, give yourself permission to have some down time - it's hard to do, but it can make or break a long trip if you don't put your feet up and set awhile.

I wish you happy travels.

I do two things. First the written check list with all those things to do in advance as well as the MUST NOT forget list (passport, debit and credit cards, credit cards, money belts, camera, etc). Then a couple weeks before the trip we start accumulating on our guest bed those things (clothes, etc) we think we definitely want to take. Once on the bed, it's off limits until we pack and either it goes in the suitcase, or misses the cut. This prevents you from discovering the night before that your favorite travel "whatever" is dirty; now you need to do a load of laundry, but then leave in in your dryer as you head to the airport.

Since I travel at least once a month my toiletry kit and 3-1-1 bag are duplicates of what I use every day, so for me that stuff easy.

Sounds like your anxiety is more intense this time because of the length of this particular trip is something new for you, and that you will travel solo. Is this your first solo trip? Your pre-departure nerves seem to already have you checking and re-checking your trip details and plans - which is fine. You may even find yourself slightly OCD during the trip checking to make sure you have your passport, credit cards, ATM card, etc.

Everyone gets a little anxious at some point. I once spent so much time planning the first part of a year long round the world solo trip and was so busy with that and packing for it that it wasn't until I was halfway over the Pacific Ocean that I had this fleeting "Wow…what did I just do?" moment - it passed before the plane touched down in Australia.

What you need to accept is that not every minute of every day will go smoothly. This is even more true if you are one of those Type A compulsive planners who has every waking hour planned out for the entire 7 weeks. Accept that some things will go wrong - planes, trains and buses will be delayed or possibly missed, you may end up in a part of a town where finding someone who speaks English is difficult, you will get lost at some point and will need to ask for directions, you might get some bad service from someone - get over it. As long as you aren't bleeding or dead, you'll be able to work through it. And don't over plan. Some of my best experiences that year where things that just simply happened off the cuff - no planning at all.

You're anxiously thinking you are going to be alone the entire 7 weeks - you aren't. You think no one in their 30s travels solo except for you - wrong, they do. Those traveling solo actually have a far easier time meeting and interacting with other travelers and locals. You're actually seen as more "approachable" by others when you aren't huddled in a group, or joined at the hip with another traveler partner like a significant other or a best friend when you are typically tuning everyone else out because you have each other to talk to. I've had many other travelers and locals approach me to strike up a discussion in all kinds of places - grocery, outdoor market, pubs, restaurants, over coffee, bookstores, on trains and buses, in hostel kitchens/lounges, at the laundromat, museums, concerts, sitting on a bench in a park - you name it. If you want to have interactions with people while you are traveling, then I heartily suggest you go against the impulse (and advice) to stick your nose in a book, map or stare at your iPhone whenever you aren't sightseeing. That's a sure-fire way to send a signal to others that you want to be left alone.

Be open to talking and possibly hanging out with people who are not in your immediate age group for a drink, coffee, meal or sightseeing. I was in my 30s yet had plenty of times where I had a drinks with people 10-15 years younger than me, and I did some hiking or had dinner with some people who were 20-30 years older than me. You're going on a RS tour and although I've never personally been on one, I've seen their tour video and the demographic certainly skews more towards the 50-75yos. Consider signing up as a member on Couchsurfing International's website - you don't have to stay at another member's place - many members are simply interested in meeting up with visitors to their particular cities and just having a coffee or meal or showing them around for a few hours.

Overall, just relax and enjoy.

Thank you, everybody, so much for all your great replies! Reading them (twice, actually) has been really helpful and reassuring. I am definitely a bit OC and while really thorough planning helps overall, I think it may be adding to my anxiety in these days immediately before my departure. I especially appreciate the advice to just relax and accept that the trip will inevitably throw me some curve balls. In fact, just "going with it" and living in the moment is one of the things I'm hoping this trip with help with!

Thank you again!
~C

I can totally relate to you and I am not even well traveled so this means I have more anxieties that you haha. That time i was rome alone and lost my credit card and met some unfriendly people at Termini. This really got to me and although I am already on my trip, i was anxious throughou the rest of the trip fearing for my belonging and clutching them like they are my life. This really spoilt my trip because i couldn't enjoy and been overly cautious. So i suggest you just take the necessary precautions and relax and enjoy you upcoming trip. Just breathe and relax.

Lots of times when I travel to Europe, friends will drive me to the airport. They can attest that I spend a great deal of that airport ride saying over and over that I wish I were not going. I am sure I am like a broken record. Once I get inside the airport, though, travel coping mechanisms usually kick in. And when I get off the plane, usually a feeling of euphoria rushes over me: freedom, adventure.

For a number of years, and still sometimes now and then, I have had actual nightmares surrounding forgetting my spare glasses, contact lenses, solution, etc. Surprise, my first solo trip in years was to the Caribbean, and I forgot my contact lens solution. It was a self-fulfilling prophecy. And, back in the 80s on a small island, it was not certain that I would even find the solution I needed. Luckily, I was able to get something, but I had to store my lenses in salt water overnight - what an experiment.

I survived that "nightmare". I do now keep more detailed lists and am more experienced in having info available if needed - prescriptions, etc. Still, things happen. Volcanic ash cancelled my flight from LHR to CDG a few years ago so I hurriedly booked Eurostar at quite a price for that same day, only to find out when I presented my ticket that I had purchased one for a year in the future. What a scramble, but I was able to get on Eurostar that day, braved the unknown streets from Paris Nord to Paris Est, and arrived late at night in Reims to meet my tour group. There were some nerve shattering moments, but in the end, I coped and felt pretty heartened by it all.

I wish you that feeling of euphoria and self-confidence many times during your trip. I hope you write a trip report telling us of some of your favorite aha (conquered the anxiety) moments.

Best. Debbie

Hi,

Why should traveling solo in your mid-30s be even a concern? Apart from any safety concerns, and there aren't any when using common sense. I mostly travel solo now...still; thirty years ago I was lucky enough to go over even for a short trip at 34 solo. I could care less what the general feeling is on going solo. If it is of no matter to you, if you are comfortable with it, then choose it as your way of traveling to Europe. You'll will see Europeans of various nationalities do it. Main concern in going over is: make sure first you've done all the necessary chores...contacting the bank, paying the bills, etc (all those nuisance but necessary things).

"Any words of wisdom"...I need that too as an experienced traveler. Every time i fly over I get what I call the travel willies, ie, travel anxiety. Once I land it's gone. A check list on what to do, bring helps especially when you feel the mind is going blank.

Experience has taught me a few things:

1. Things won't be perfect. Expect to miss a connection, have a reservation not honored, buy the wrong ticket, read the schedule wrong, etc. somewhere along the way.
2. It's okay, you will get past it. There is always a way to recover from any mistake you make along the way. Expect that you will have to work around some things and that you will do so successfully - because you will.
3. Sometimes what seem, at the time, like the worst errors are the experiences you remember the most fondly. For example, my wife and I entered Republic of Korea (a country at war) at a small AF base. I told her to get a taxi and I'd get the bags. I stopped and got my passport stamped on the way out, she didn't. We flew out from another small base hundreds of miles away and were pulled into an interrogation room because she wasn't in the country legally. At the time I wasn't sure if we would end up in Korean prison. The penalty was a year in prison and a million won fine. It worked out, we made our plane (and we didn't even pay a fine).

I know my first solo trip i was nervous before I left home. But I went to travel blogs about my desination and saw the airport lay outs, reviews and comments on places to stay and eat, etc and I felt better for at least being able to say "oh yeah I saw that on the blog about this airport."
I also watched youtube vidoes about my arrival airports (I had a layover), people filming locations I wanted to visit, go pro videos from people wandering around were very helpfull.
J