Tourist Smarts

Hi,

Better to say, "merci bien."

On Germany: in small eateries you can take any table provided the sign with "reserviert" is not on it, obviously. There is another where you lay off that table too. It has the sign "Stammtisch" I saw quite often on my first two trips in 1971 and '73. But these were in small l restaurants or taverns only frequented by locals and , for the most part , in towns not visited by tourists.

Regardless, it's better to know the cultural cues in addition to the language, Language alone won't do it.

"By the way, going out of your way to make a big deal about smokers sharing an outdoor seating area not only brands you as an American but reinforces the idea that we think we can expect things to always be the same as at home." Well, OK, brand me an (proud) American when I carefully select outdoor seating considering the needs of smokers, wind, etc., and then smokers must sense the need to pass all those empty tables to plop down next to me and continuously smoke as if they are a coal-fired locomotive. Kinda like cats and being allergic to cats.

I second some of your concerns. Certainly it's wise to study up if you need to on what the EU is and to know a few basic facts about the individual governments and current events. And "polite words" and greetings - of course.

Equally important IMO are the laws that apply to the typical traveler. Do I need to keep my passport with me 24/7? What are the local DUI blood alcohol levels? Radar speed traps? I thought those were unconstitutional... The innkeeper says I can't get a refund if I cancel in advance... that simply can't be true, or can it?? Pay to pee? What if I pee and just walk?

But I really can't get too worked up about knowing every cultural convention in advance... part of the FUN of travel is seeing the destination country as an unknown quantity... and allowing the travel experience itself be the learning experience.

"The whole point of the exercise is to learn something about how other people live and their view of the world."

I agree - but what you've just aid means you do NOT need to learn everything before you go.

If I'm cluelessly standing at the entrance of a German restaurant, well, eventually, some server looking very puzzled will approach me and invite me to take a seat - or I'll see another party walk past me and find their own table - and I will learn the cultural lesson, in the same way a baby learns his native language - by osmosis rather than by studying up in the womb prior to his arrival.

"By the way, going out of your way to make a big deal about smokers sharing an outdoor seating area not only brands you as an American but reinforces the idea that we think we can expect things to always be the same as at home. If you want or expect things to be just like at home, don't travel."

Heh heh. I HATE cigarette smoke. I have know idea what you mean with "going out of your way to make a big deal about smokers..." - do you mean give the smokers or the proprietor a good chewing out??? Certainly a stupid thing to do. If not, what do you mean? Honestly, I've never seen any fellow American do anything that might constitute a big fuss about this - not anywhere. I generally pick a table where there are no smokers nearby and hope for the best. If the tables near me are then taken by smokers, if it's bad enough, I will switch tables. Had to do this a couple of times. Is that what you mean by "big deal?" It didn't seem to bother the wait staff terribly, and I certainly felt no ugly-American guilt about it. I'm guessing that any European-born asthma victim or lung-transplant survivor or anyone else sensitive to smoke would do the same. IMO there's no reason NOT to do what makes you more comfortable - and absolutely no reason to heed your advice and "stay home" just because some Europeans have a lingering love affair with tobacco!

I've had a fair amount of contact with European and other foreign individuals here at home. Many of the smokers among them have whined about our anti-smoking laws. They didn't study up much on us before they came here. But that's OK - I'm not offended by their ignorance and have never wished they'd just stayed home - their ignorance was just sort of cute in my eyes. IME most Europeans find our naivete about their continental practices charming as well.

I agree! If people would spend as much time researching their next travel location as they spend playing candy crush, they wouldn't be disappointed or surprised.

Back from a trip where the group complained every morning about the coffee. (now I don't drink the stuff and brought my own tea bags) so i was never disappointed every morning. And Yes, every hotel had the same funky coffee machine, with the same funky coffee, so I had to hear how terrible the coffee was for 12 full mornings.

Wow, you are very tough on your fellow citizens. I read about travel obsessively and I never know what to do when I go to restaurants. How can you go wrong waiting for an employee and politely inquiring about getting a table?

I really don't think it's fair to expect all travelers to be up on every aspect of the culture. Some people don't have the time or interest. Not that your suggestions are bad. They're not. But the more important thing to me is to be polite and not demanding. Don't make assumptions. Ask nicely.

p. s. I'm happy to say I don't see a lot of Americans being obnoxious when I'm in Europe. Maybe I'm just lucky.

I do quite a bit of research prior to going anywhere, and the rest is a combination of luck, good manners and keen observation skills. So far I seem to have avoided making any major faux pas.

Learning a bit of an obscure language--French, Spanish and Italian seem fairly familiar to many people--like Polish or Hungarian, also seems to bridge a gap, always gets a bemused smile from the recipient and most likely a response in English. I also at least try to learn how certain letter combinations are pronounced in a language, so if asking for directions I don't mangle the words beyond all hope of recognition.

One of the many reasons I travel is to revel in just how different the rest of the world is, often in the most delightful ways.

I have seen some boorish behavior from time to time, not just by Americans.

My plan is always to learn fifty words in a language that is new to me, but I don't always meet that goal before I leave. I have some funny memories about repetitive street names and railway stops that actually mean "one way" or "exit". I don't assume that I know the cultural cues, so I observe carefully. Still get it wrong sometimes.

But I think it was Goethe who said something like, "If travel doesn't change you, why go?"

If people would spend as much time researching their next travel location as they spend playing candy crush,

Do people still play Candy Crush? I gave up on it months ago. Crossy Road for me.

Yes, I play Candy Crush. Helps me tune out from all the political news. (at level 1880)

I get asked all the time what river runs through Frankfurt. The worst is a tour company in Paris that advertises layover tours in Frankfurt on the Rhine.

You make some valid points. Learning at least the polite words I believe is essential as well as being aware there are different customs.

When entering a restaurant if no one is there to greet us I stand inside the door for a minute and catch someone's eye and gesture to the tables - I either get a response that points me to the tables or is a clear indication to wait - someone will seat you.

Not sure of the purpose for a basic understanding of the government. I am certainly not going to get in a discussion with someone about their gov't and hopefully will not have reason to deal directly with the gov't.

@Zoe - love the quote

Hey, I played candy crush at one time, too. haha!

After being on a day tour as the only American (the rest were a splattering of all Europe) I heard the comment more than once that the French were the worse tourists. And that when visiting France that even if a French citizen could speak another language that you as the tourist must ask if they speak "English, for instance" in French.

Planning a trip to France next year... guess I must brush up my French...

Many would polish up on how to be respectful and courteous, but would forget to learn how not to offend unintentionally.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/17/the-global-guide-to-hand-_n_4956860.html

Kieth, excellent post. People may want to squabble over the details, but the intention and message is well received. I have some involvement with a tourism industry in Europe and among our clients the American's aren't the worst tourists. Not the best either.

A quick aside. I was at an amusement venue the other day. They had an activity where you had to put on clothing provided by the venue. After the activity ended the Americans wadded up the clothing and tossed it in the bin. The two Eastern Europeans folded theirs and those of their children and carefully placed them in the bin. Now, all this stuff was going off to be cleaned so folded or wadded really didn't manner; but one action was a self acknowledgement of the importance of respect, while the other action showed nothing. I was impressed.

I get off a plane in a host country and perceive myself as their guest and try and act accordingly. Recognizing that as a guest you have a heightened responsibility towards your hosts is always important in my mind; so I strive for the higher end of the norm in most situations. I once read where an individual was more concerned that the waiter did not discover that she could not read the French Menu than she was concerned about wearing tennis shoes to the Opera. I don't understand that thinking.

On the other hand I make no attempt to hide the fact that I am a tourist and an American. I wont go any place where the government or a substantial portion of the population holds animosity towards the USA; so being an American is not a problem. I do go to some obscure places and being identified as a tourist has begun some great conversations and invitations that would be impossible if I tried to pretend that I am something that I am not.

I thought this was funny

http://hungarytoday.hu/news/best-transylvanian-commercial-ever-video-17201

James E., you made my day! Thanks!

Funny stuff James. Thanks for posting.

Hilarious! Thanks, James E. Good post, Keith.

Having lived in Germany for four years and visited 80% of the countries in Europe, I think there are a few differences in the way things operate. Most are easy to learn before you travel. All you need to do is read a guidebook or sites like this one.

Many Americans keep tipping like they are in the US, which is being way more generous than necessary. In Germany, the custom was to leave the spare coins on the table. If your bill was 37 Euros, leave the 3 Euro change.

If you want to find the bathroom, ask for toilet, in any language they understand that.

Europeans generally eat their breakfast bread, rolls or sliced bread with butter, but at lunch and dinner, not. Also, don't put butter on a French Croissant, it already has plenty of butter in the croissant.

It is helpful to try to use some of the local language, although in Germany and northern Europe many people speak English. In France, many people have studied English, but don't want to use it since in France your social status is graded on how well you use any language, so many French that don't speak English perfectly, prefer not to use English. We have found that generally outside of Paris, the French are glad to communicate in English and are very friendly. I had a French friend who was not from Paris, and he said that when he went to Paris that the waiters were rude to him as well as the American tourists.

Another custom in Europe is that if you enter a restaurant and it is filled with people and the only available seats are with other patrons, it is expected that you can join them.

The expensive restaurants in Europe will generally seat you instead of letting you sit anywhere.

It is wise to learn the word for "check" in the local language. Most European restaurants are in no hurry to have you out the door like in the USA.

Thanks James E. - Yes, exactly, when I get of the airplane I am a guest in THEIR country. And, I agree, that brings a certain level of responsibility.

By the way, it wasn't the opera but the tennis shoes also made an appearance at a performance by the Gewandhaus Orchester in Leipzig. The ensemble was topped off by jeans, a t-shirt and a Washington Redskins baseball cap. Thankfully a staff member suggested removing the cap.

Keith B

geovagriffith, the only quibble I would have with your post is that "Europe" is not a culture and what works in Germany may not work in Hungary for instance. Here's a good one; clinking beer mugs in Hungary is taboo for instance, but is pretty standard fare in Munich. Still, people are people. So imagine yourself, as a waiter, being offended because someone from Tanzania did not present the tip per the cultural standard. You wouldn't be offended; and when we all screw up when we travel, most of the people we screw up with aren't offended either. But it never hurts to try......

All sorts of things occur to me beginning with, yes Europe is not a single culture, and yes knowing what to tip and how to say please and thank you are really good ideas. Not assuming everything will or should work like it does at home is also a good idea.

But, we find that most of our more real interactions with locals have to do with admitting ignorance and asking for help. How do you pronounce ____? What do you recommend? I've had snails, but not in thier shells, how do you eat them?

The real issue is usually not ignorance, but choosing to to ask people who are not harassed by long lines or other duties. A man at a cheese shop with a long line of locals buying does not have time to show you how many kilograms what you want to buy is. The same man in an empty shop is only too happy to help. Not to mention to offering samples and recommendations. Situational awareness is key.

Jen, Bingo!

We Americans may be fairly conspicuous when we travel, but it's less because of our ignorance than our noise level. There's nothing to be done about it really. Once we start lowering our voices, our companions will say, "why are your whispering?" It's not just about trying to get attention. It's deeply embedded in our behavioral norms, I think.

Brent. That is the reason we love to travel in Europe. Finally can enjoy dinner in a lovely quiet environment.

Are we, Americans the loudest people on the earth?

No, Russians and at least some Latin Americans are equal or louder.

"Are we Americans the loudest people on the earth?" Apparently it continues to be the norm to mouth the mantra we are too loud when visiting Europe. The number of times I've noticed this etiquette breach when in Euriope has declined over the years and rarely experienced the past few years. Have I seen or experienced rude behavior by local Europeans, and Europeans holidaying outside their own countries? Yes, yes. We're not all like Archie Bunker despite a need to think so.

James,
Good point. Clearly, there are different customs in different countries in Europe.

We were told by some people that tipping in Denmark could be insulting. After spending several days in that country, we discovered that statement to be not completely true. Particularly, with respect to tipping tour guides.

If there's a group of noisy folks anywhere it's usually Russians or Italians. I actually don't notice Americans being nearly as loud and obnoxious.

Everyone on the trains seem to talk loudly: Eastern European, Spanish, Italian, Turkish, Arabic, Russians, and oh yeah, the Germans too. It doesn't matter if it is with each other or on their handy.
One gets used to it. Fun to listen in sometimes if you understand the language.

These big over generalizations are always senseless. The Russians and Latin Americans came to mind because of a couple of recent incidents, but those incidents shouldn’t stereotype their entire culture; so I apologize.

Generally speaking in restaurants in Europe I haven’t noticed one group or another, as a whole, being any better or worse than another. Of course I don’t hang out at American Tourist Restaurants. Maybe those that do, fit into a different class set?

I poked around on the internet a bit. The only source I could find for this accusation about Americans comes from France where their love for Americans might be making them a bit overly critical and then modern American self-loathing took it from there…..

American and English children on the other hand are little monsters in restaurants compared to their European counterparts. That I will stand by.

James E. you obviously have never worked in a restaurant over here. I could tell you stories about German children and their parents that would curl your ears.

We lived in Germany for four years and I would concur on the German children as well as American children being hard to handle in Restaurants. Of course, Germans are more likely to bring their dogs into a restaurant than their children.

French children, even little ones, almost always seem to be well-behaved, speak quietly and even have good table manners. Of course, that is when they are with parents or grandparents. Maybe they are proper little terrors when not.

Having eaten in restaurants all over Europe, the best behaved children I saw dining with their families was in Italy.

Geovagriffith tipping in restaurants and to guides is welcomed in Denmark, but it could be considered insulting if you tip where it is not the norm. Wages here are high and we pride ourselves on our equal society and showing your wealth is considered tasteless. Tipping could suggest that you assert that you are richer than the receiver or that the receiver is in need of your charity. It also implies a sort of master/servant relationship that does not rhyme well in a society where everyone is considered equal.

What are improper little terrors?

Improper little terrors? I shudder to think.

On which nationality of tourists talk the loudest, I would say mostly Italians, Russians, Chinese both Mandarin and Cantonese speakers, and some Americans.

The little kids (say from the age of 8 on) most well behaved in restaurants in a family setting, ie with their parents/grandparents I have seen over the years, I say the French. I've seen this numerous times, was impressed by their manners. Go outside of Paris to the smaller towns.

The locals know absolutely I am a tourist, at least an outsider, a tourist by the obvious clothing styles, and other dead give-ways, makes no difference to me. They'll know absolutely too that I'm American, assuming they had not guessed already, once I hand them my credit card, which has either California or Bank of America on it.

Interesting thread. Firstly regarding smokers. As a non-smoker coming up 21 months, I can still appreciate the fact that there needs to be a designated area. Perhaps an area set aside from other outdoor dining/drinking areas. It's still a legal pursuit. Only now do I see how stupid, pointless and expensive it was. Having said that, I keep my counsel around smokers. Unless you have been a smoker, you cannot begin to understand just how difficult and painful it is to kick the habit.
I have found as a tourist, if you are sensitive to the differences, you soon pick up local customs re dining etc. When travelling in Ireland, I found out the first time I caught a bus, you are expected to have the correct money!!

I think most nationalities have their fair share of obnoxious, loud, boorish travellers. We Aussies are right up there.