Top Travel Mistakes to Avoid

I don't buy into the 'assume you will return', but I certainly see the pressure travelers put on themselves. Every hour of every day scheduled and prebooked - no room for serendipity, delays or when 'stuff' gets in the way

I've found so much good advice on these forums for my travels, and so much of interest in RS's books and shows, but I think "assume you will return" is the worst piece of advice RS ever came out with. It's led to a very cultish parroting of this philosophy, and a "my way of travelling is superior to that of the ignorant masses" attitude.

I always, always assume I will NOT return. And I probably won't. I have no intention of repeating most locations, no matter how wonderful they are. There are too many other places I'd love to see.

Not everyone is in the situation of being able to return over and over to a country. Not everyone wants to return to previously visited places, because the world is huge, and money and time are limited. So, I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to fit in the main sights one wants to see in one trip. If one wants to see certain things because they are on a "best of" list---so? What's wrong with that? Most things on those lists are there because they are beautiful, unique, or of historical significance.

It's great that some people have enjoyed discovering some lesser-known sights and locales. I enjoy that, too. But I would never discourage anyone from trying to see the most famous places and sights or make them feel that wanting to do so is inappropriate. If their trip is limited to those places, and that's what they want, who am I to discourage them?

One can't do it all in one trip, of course. But one can do a heck of a lot in a few days, and if that way of travelling isn't everyone's preference, so what? Does everyone have to like doing things the same way? No.

His best advice? “Assume you will return,” he said. “Never try to do
everything on one trip, because you can't.”

I don't buy into that either. Not all travelers can afford or physically be able to do more than one trip. But the bigger reason I'd try not to do 'everything' is the exhaustion that can override the many wonderful things one can miss when too overwhelmed and overtired to absorb them. Better to have a few quality experiences that stay clearly in your heart and mind for many years than a bunch of glimpses that have but vague connections to the journey? Pick the top couple of things you REALLY want to see, and let the rest fall where they may.

As well, tight itineraries don't always operate like clockwork. A train strike or flight delay, an unexpected museum closure, a day of REALLY foul weather, or the meal you ate last night not sitting well AT ALL the next morning can all be big wrenches in itineraries with no wiggle room allowed for error.

"Avoid overcrowded spots"
Yet many of the places he promotes in his books are just that! Some of our most memorable travel experiences were things that we discovered on our own, rather than just relying on Rick's recommendations. I always explore additional resources when planning a trip.

"Assume we will return" has been our attitude for over 50 years. Long before Ricky published his first guidebook. And it was my wife's attitude on our first visit in '72. She kept saying, "We will be back." It was 21 years before we returned and then another gap of 10 years. But now it is fairly routine with close to annual visits. We also have a couple of other practices that most on this site would find unacceptable. Rarely made advance hotel reservation beyond two or three days. In all of our limited planning the fourth or five day is complete empty. It is a catch up day to nap, laundry, or do something unexpected. And, finally, rarely have a return ticket book. We have a rough idea of when and where we will return from but it is not fixed. We are retired so that works for us. And do not recommend for a first time traveler.

Count me another one who doesn't buy the 'assume you will return'. In actuality the majority of US travelers (or tourists if you prefer) make one trip to Europe in their lifetime. They don't return over and over to see the things on their personal wish lists that they missed the first time so, of course they try to see everything they can cram in on that one trip. Granted that it's obvious they can't do that, but they certainly can try. It is presumptuous to think everybody can just hop over the pond several times a year. Personal circumstances, money, and even lack of desire keep most from returning multiple times.

I also agree that it's past the time when RS can suggest that travelers, especially first time and maybe only time travelers, avoid the overcrowded spots since those are the spots on those 'best of' lists that everone wants to see.

My personal best travel advice is: "don't assume you will return so don't go to the places with the cheapest airfare or cheapest hotel prices, go to the places you most want to see. Then if you can't return you will at least have seen some of your own 'most want to sees' and if you are lucky enough to return then all well and good, go to those uncrowded places."

I think we may be taking too literally the "assume you will return" motto. For more context from the article, this explains better the mentality:

Perhaps the most important piece of advice Steves shared is that often, travelers put a lot of pressure on themselves to check off the top museums, historic sites, restaurants, and shops from every “best of” list. But that pressure can lead to a lot of trip anxiety and the feeling of rushing around to go somewhere just because it’s famous.

Basically how I understand: don't put so much pressure on yourself to tick off all the most "important" sites from your "because it's famous" bucket list. Assume you will return (even if you don't lol). I've been to Paris, but only been to probably 2 out of the top 10 sites of the city, I don't feel like I missed out or am yearning to go back in a hurry.

I agree with Nancy's last paragraph, and with Carlos. I think "assume you will return" isn't about predicting the future, it's about adjusting your mind to savor what you can see and do on this trip without obsessing about everything else that you might try but won't succeed in seeing and doing. Assuming that you'll return doesn't mean that you will. But if you enjoyed the experience you're more likely to return (within the limitations of time and money that we all have) than if you over-scheduled yourself to the point of exhaustion and dissatisfaction.

For some, a trip to destination X is once in a lifetime. For others, it might become an annual habit. Vive la difference.

It is a bit humorous to see “avoid overcrowded spots” on the list when that’s where a good portion of the tour locations are headed. I will be going on the Adriatic tour this year and most of the locations are well known by other tour companies and independent travelers. That’s fine for an initial trip; it’s reality that it’s not going to be “a back door experience.” I see that Sarah Murdoch’s new travel company is trying to focus on the experiences that don’t overlap with the mainstream RS tours.

When we are planning a return trip to a country, I actually do a final review of my itinerary to see if any of the cities are listed in the RS guidebook. I don’t want more than a couple to be filled with American tourists. It’s nice to have both the popular sites plus the ones to explore with more a local feel.

But that isn't what everyone wants to do. So, it still smacks of "my way is better than that of the ignorant masses," IMO.

I savour by taking photos. I don't drink wine or beer. I don't care much for coffee. I'm an introvert. So, I don't savour by sitting in bars or cafes chatting up the locals. If that's what others enjoy, good for them. That doesn't mean that's what everyone will enjoy.

My top travel tips:
Check the expiration dates of all passports. Make sure you have adequate time on all of them.
Make sure the name on your airline ticket matches the name on your passport.
Recheck your flight reservations several times, particularly as the day of travel comes closer.
Do some basic research about the country/countries you are visiting.
Lower your travel volume by about 50%. Americans can be incredibly loud.
Don’t assume all countries traffic laws are like ours. If you are going to drive, do some research first.

Realize your trip doesn’t have to match anyone else’s expectations. Choose your priorities.

Exactly so, Nancy.

My personal best travel advice is: "don't assume you will return so don't go to the places with the cheapest airfare or cheapest hotel prices, go to the places you most want to see. Then if you can't return you will at least have seen some of your own 'most want to sees' and if you are lucky enough to return then all well and good, go to those uncrowded places."

I think "assume you will return" isn't about predicting the future, it's about adjusting your mind to savor what you can see and do on this trip without obsessing about everything else that you might try but won't succeed in seeing and doing. Assuming that you'll return doesn't mean that you will.

Well put Dick, this is exactly what I had in mind but you wrote it so much more eloquently :)

Alternatively I find myself returning to a few places I initially thought were just "one and done" deals. They are usually lesser known places with little to no blockbuster sites and probably not on many "top 10" lists. The multicultural city of Zaragoza in Spain's northeast is one and another is the Polish spa town of Ustroń deep in the Silesian Carpathian mountains... who would have thought I'd be returning multiple times lol!

Great list of tips, Carol now retired!

I will add: learn a short list of words in the country’s language that will show respect as a visitor. YouTube is so helpful with travel basic language videos. Now, if I only could memorize those Welsh words! ; )

Greetings/thank yous
Basic question words - where is ___?
How to order at a restaurant or ask for a table
Numbers are always helpful, too.
And definitely, how to order a gelato or your favorite beverage.

I assume I’ll return to the UK and Spain since I visit them often. For our other trips we focus on smaller areas rather than trying to see everything, knowing we probably won’t be back. By visiting smaller areas it take less travel time between locations and makes for a more relaxed trip overall. Since we generally have a rental car we take numerous day trips to places that are less visited.

I love to travel to Europe especially and I assume I will return to certain places that have captured my heart and imagination. Paris,
Amsterdam,Berlin, Oslo and rural areas of Norway, London are all places I want to explore in greater depth. Yes, Italy, especially Naples, is on my list, Poland and some of the Baltic countries and Romania. I almost forgot Alpine Europe and Portugal!

I will say that if I could never return to Europe, I would have a plethora of memories and pictures to savor and I wouldn’t feel deprived

I will say that if I could never return to Europe, I would have a plethora of memories and pictures to savor and I wouldn’t feel deprived

Judy B, that is exactly where I am now. Age, health, and financial status all say "you've done your last trip to Europe". But I have made 11 trips to Europe (over 25 years) and I have thousands of photos and innumerable wonderful memories to savor for the rest of my life and I don't feel deprived though I never got to see all of my own 'must sees'.

When I made my first trip to Europe back in 1997 (England and France) I did not have to assume that I would be back because I had already planned and booked a second trip (Alpine countries) later that year, so I KNEW I would be back (barring unforeseen circumstances). But what I knew I would be returning to was Europe, not necessarily the same countries or cities. So, even though I didn't see everything I wanted to see of England and France on that first trip I could not assume that I would be back to those countries. Actually, I have never been back to England, including to London so I guess I saw all that I'm going to see of that country. I have been back to France, especially Paris, and the Alpine countries over the years.

Whenever I went anywhere I tried to see everything I wanted to see there, assuming that I would NOT be back. Maybe in some cases I over planned my time in a certain place and maybe I did too much too fast some times, but it was what it was and I have no regrets for the way I traveled - I did slow down eventually and embrace the idea of slow travel, spending more time in one place to 'savor' the experience. I consider myself lucky to have been able to do that.

My best tip, before you make any flight reservations or hotel reservations:
check when school vacations will be, holidays taking place in the cities you will be visiting as well as trade fairs. All of those can massively affect prices.
If you fly into or out of an airport the day school vacations begin or end, your flight will cost a lot more and you will be in crowds of people. That romantic castle area will be filled with school kids. School vacations take place at various times in the year. Germany staggers theirs so that the schools in Berlin for example, will start and end their spring, fall, winter, summer vacations at a different time than in Munich, Cologne, Stuttgart or Frankfurt.
How many people on this forum are imagining a traditional German Christmas, and then are surprised to find out that on the 24th, everything shuts down at 14:00, everything, in the whole country, except for public transport and a few small ethnic fast food places.
Dreams of a nice Christmas eve dinner fly out the window.

Lots of people do not realize that in many countries, Monday is when museums and other places may be closed. Or that stores are closed on Sundays in many places.

Where ever you are going, ask on the forums about what you should know about holidays, festivals, etc.

I've known folks who were certainly not going to return. They saved up for years for a trip of a lifetime and want as much bang for the buck as possible. Also, with limited funds, why go back to the same place? Go somewhere different.

Obviously common sense is important. To see all of Paris in a day is ridiculous.

As for avoiding crowds? Good luck.

Here is what I believe, tell people or offer as tips:

Go where you want to go. See what you want to see. Do what you want to do. It's your time, Your money. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

A guidebook is not a bible. It's not the law. It's not a list of things you must do. It's an aid to help you plan your trip. You can follow it or you can ignore it. Sometimes, or often, it's best to get your nose out of it and experience where you are.

If traveling internationally, know the expiration date of your passport.

With just a passport and a credit card you can always get home.

Eat local, drink local. Try the local cuisine. Try the local wine/beer/beverage.

Don't plan every minute of every day. Plans and schedules sometimes have to be changed due to circumstances beyond your control--weather, strikes, demonstrations, etc. Or you might just stumble on something you find interesting.

Great list, Frank.

Re: checking off top sites: My advice(and I love museums!) is: if you don't like to go to museums at home, why go to any in Europe? Your trip, your interests.

"Assume we will return"

Not that it was anyone's advice, it was simply a great personal epiphany. Never been one for a rigid itinerary planned out to the detailed minutiae, but on my first trip to Europe I wasn't getting to all of the sites I'd put on my list of places I'd like to visit. Getting disappointed and frustrated would have been easy. The reality though was the realization that there was no reason -- not a single reason -- why I couldn't return again. Everything about planning & preparation, research, time off from work or financial was all a breeze and aspects of the trip that I really enjoyed. So yeah, I arrived early on to the belief that I would always plan trips with the assumption I will always return. It works for me.

Fits with my personal belief that with notable exceptions, most of the travel advice or top travel mistakes are just subjective and have to do with the particular advice giver's comfort levels, rather than any universal truth..

Assume you will return-
Having lived overseas for 9 years and traveled to 81 foreign countries, I have a mixed response to this advice.
1) I have taken lengthy tours of places like China, Russia, as well as cruises Around the Horn of South America and a wonderful Safari in E. Africa. I will never return to those places in the future. Also, places like Machu Picchu in Peru and a 23 day transpacific cruise, I will never go there again. In my opinion, this advice may be helpful for most European travel, but not necessarily everywhere. I had done Egypt and the Nile cruise in 1985, and had no plans to return, but my wife (met here AFTER that trip) had not been to Egypt and wanted to go, so we did it Jan 2023. I enjoyed going back and saw a bit more than I did in 1985, but generally wouldn't have do it again unless my wife wanted to go.

2) Yes, I have been to Great Britain, France, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Germany, Italy, Greece, Portugal and more AGAIN. I have probably been to Paris 6-7 times, also, Venice 6-7 times, etc. Of course, I lived in Germany for four years and we just hopped in the car and drove to places. I guess, what I am saying is it depends. If you have the funds to travel and don't wait until you are 65, then you might have time to revisit places that you particularly like.

According to TripAdvisor, my world travel map says that I have visited 54% of the World. Frankly, if feels like more than that. Still, I would like to go back to Italy and do a few days in Rome (been there three times already) and tour Umbria (haven't been there).
I always advise people to not do the if this is Tuesday it must be Belgium tour. You can't do justice to Paris on a three day tour. Better to do it well the first time.

Pack Light- take only a carryon

Sorry, we have taken many trips where we were gone for from 4 to 7.5 weeks. We did a great four week drive tour of S. Wales and England in 2017 and had to do laundry twice. We actually went to a laundromat purchased soap and did our laundry, it took us about 3 hours to complete that task both times. We had checked luggage with enough clean clothes to last about 10 days. I find that I can wear a shirt for two days and kakis for four days before placing them in the dirty clothes. When we go on trips in the USA to visit family and take a carryon, we can usually go almost a week before washing, but we are with family and don't go out in public as much. On a trip a carryon would not last 5 days.

Other tips like be sure to plan well and research are excellent points.

Also, not booking short air transfers is great advice.

I would say get to popular spots early. Don't ever feel you need to miss a top museum because it will be crowded. I''ve found that the first half hour after opening is usually quite nice. My mom and I spent a great time at the Louvre as we were there by the doors right at opening and could stand and see Mona Lisa for 5 minutes without a line. We then went to the Venus and got some great pictures. Of course after that it became a mob scene but we had seen what was important to us and then just strolled about until we were tired.

One tip that I see constantly on here is don't plan down to the hour. On this forum I have seen trip plans that read like my college curriculum-9am-Louvre, leave at 11am, then 12 Eiffel Tower. I try to plan for one or two activities in the morning and afternoon. If you over schedule, you will get stressed and your travel companions or family will be resentful. Relax, sit in a park, Stroll the neighborhood. Traveling is tiring. For all the people who say "You can rest at home", usually that is not the case for work and taking care of families await most of us.

School vacations take place at various times in the year. Germany staggers theirs so that the schools in Berlin for example, will start and end their spring, fall, winter, summer vacations at a different time than in Munich, Cologne....

Jo makes a great point.

France also divides its regions into three school zones so that not all of the country is on school vacations at the same time. In France they are called Zones A, B, and C. You can Google vacances scolaires zones A B C to find the dates.

I have no intention of repeating most locations, no matter how wonderful they are. There are too many other places I'd love to see.

First of all I would like to say that everyone travels as they want. But this sentence makes me think because I'm completely different.

I need a while for a place to open up to me. I can't imagine not visiting a place anymore just because my list is still long. Is this really how you get to know a place? Or isn't it much more that you just take a quick look at this place and everything stays very superficial?

I want to establish a certain relationship with my travel destinations and feel at home there. If I like what I see the first time, then I want to intensify this relationship and dive deeper. Even at the risk of missing spectacular places. I don't care, because this isn't a competition where someone checks at the end of my life whether I've worked through all the items on my list.

Like many other, I like RS' advice, but I don't take it as an imperative. Frank II has a wise list.

I agree with what Dick and Carlos and others have said. Assuming you'll be back doesn't mean you will. And it's not snobbery. If I go to a new restaurant, I assume I will be back so I dont have to order everything on the menu that sounds good on that first (and maybe last) visit.

I think "assume you will return" isn't about predicting the future,
it's about adjusting your mind to savor what you can see and do on
this trip without obsessing about everything else that you might try
but won't succeed in seeing and doing.

Before I'd even heard of Rick Steves, I was given similar advice by a well -travelled friend. I had been stressing about the limited time I'd have on a Mediterranean cruise to see all that needed to be seen. He told me to treat it for what it was, a brief snapshot of many locations that you could take home and plan extended visits to what caught my interest. That advice had a calming influence on my vacation and stopped me from running around like an idiot trying to see everything, but not seeing anything.

Mignon.

Is this really how you get to know a place? Or isn't it much more that you just take a quick look at this place and everything stays very superficial?

Of course it's not a way to really get to know a place. I don't expect to do that. If that's important to you, then that's what you should do. That doesn't mean it's what everyone else should do. If you think doing otherwise is "superficial," well, shrug. That perfectly illustrates the attitude I'm talking about. I do think I get to know the places I see, a little, but I have no fantasies about being a quasi-local or anything like that.

Of course I'd love to spend more time in each place I visit--see more, take a deeper dive. But that's not my reality (and it's not the reality of many other people). I didn't have the opportunity to travel overseas until I was in my 50s. My mom passed away when she was 59. Her father passed away when he was 58. I'm 65 in a couple of weeks, but I'm acutely aware that my time may be limited. So, for me, it's important to see as much of the world as I can while I can. Each place I see is so wonderful, it spurs me to want to see more places. It makes my so-called "list" grow. If that's superficial, oh well. It's what makes me happy. Why should that matter to anyone else? Why should anyone else feel the need to educate me that their preferred way of travelling is better (that's patronizing)? I mean, I love people's suggestions on here, and I take them into consideration, and I'll work them in if I can manage to, but my trip is my trip, and it should satisfy my needs and wishes, and that's true of others, even if it's faster travel or more "superficial" travel than some would prefer.

I have a friend who is losing her eyesight. She will be totally blind before long. She is trying to see what she can while she can still see. Is that superficial? It's what she needs. It's what works for her.

I want to establish a certain relationship with my travel destinations and feel at home there.

Good for you. I have no expectations of feeling "at home" anywhere but at my actual home. I'm a tourist, and I'm not ashamed to be one.

Even at the risk of missing spectacular places. I don't care, because this isn't a competition where someone checks at the end of my life whether I've worked through all the items on my list.

Who is competing? I'm certainly not. I've never enjoyed competitive activities.

Sometimes, though, I get the feeling that people feel the need to validate their own life choices by putting down those of others. That's a type of competing, IMO.

If people want what you want, I think that's great--for them. I enjoy reading about their experiences, and I'm happy they were able to do things that make them happy. However, it doesn't mean we all need to make the same kinds of choices, and it doesn't mean that if we choose otherwise, we are superficial, missing out, mindlessly checking off a list, and all the other things the "assume you will return" cult seems to assume about those of us who realize we have limited time and money and want to see what matters to us within those limitations.

There's a word for assuming that everyone from different cultures should think and act as we do, because our way is clearly superior. It's ethnocentrism. I'm not sure what the term would be for assuming everyone should think and act as we do, because our way is clearly superior when differing cultures aren't at issue, but that's what I see happening sometimes. That's what I object to.

I like Pack Lite. I've always been a fairly light packer. I became "hard core" at the end of a NATO exchange with the German Air Force. I packed all my required uniforms and didn't have room for many civilian clothes, everything fit easily in a daypack (two extra shirts, extra pants, underwear and socks plus shave kit; my shoes and outerwear didn't change). A week on the road with a daypack was an epiphany. It was so easy to hop on buses/trains or visit sites without having to drop my bag. I haven't traveled with more than a carry on since. I'm always finding ways to shrink my load.

I'm just not a reservation person. I travel shoulder season and prefer to avoid crowds (Rick's third point). Reservations go hand in hand with crowded destinations. I've been happy reserving lodging on the fly. Generally, I'd say if you will be really disappointed missing a sight or particular lodging, book ahead. Otherwise, you'll be surprised how nice it is to leave flexibility in your schedule. If I want to stay an extra day or shorten a stay by a day, I'm not tied to my reservations.

My biggest exception to reservations is dinners in France. I've learned, from experience, that any place worth eating will likely be booked up (the French only plan one seating per evening rather than reusing tables for multiple seatings). If you don't need a reservation in France, there's usually a reason why it's not booked up. My technique is to ask my hotel concierge/Airbnb host for help booking a seat for dinner when I check in. That helps overcome the language barrier and they always know decent places to eat. I generally ask for "good food, nothing fancy" because I don't want them to assume I want the most expensive option.

Don't be in a hurry (Skip Tight Connections) is a big one most people forget. Plan extra time for making connections, getting meals and getting lost. Travel can be stressful. Everything is different and unfamiliar. If you're in a hurry trying to pack in the morning, make your travel connections, finding food, etc., the stress level amplifies. When you're stressed, you are much more likely to make dumb mistakes (e.g. leave something important in your hotel room).

Along that line, I'd add allow yourself to make mistakes. Keep smiling. You will work around it. Often mistakes lead to your most memorable moments of a trip. Many times, those are my most enjoyable interactions with locals. Ask politely, you will be amazed how helpful locals will be getting you back on track.

I probably assume I won't return. Not to Europe generally, but to any specific place - especially if it's remote.

When I was younger, I skipped a lot of sights because they didn't seem like a good value for the admission price. Now, I consider my remaining "good" travel years and my list of trips to make, and realize, I won't be back to a lot of places I'm visiting.

When I factor in how much it cost (time and money) to get this close to a particular sight, even a high admission price is better value than a second trip to the same place. Now I'm likely to pay the admission and see the sight. I'll only skip sights based on their priority to me and/or my travel companions (which still eliminates quite a few sights).

I have changed over the years from a “ cross it off the checklist “ to a more laid back style. Instead of doing Disney like I was some kind of warrior running from ride to ride with a parade thrown into the middle, to now booking one site a day as must see and the rest of the day as a “ whatever comes up and looks interesting.” This will be our first RS tours and I liked the thought that most days are mornings seeing a big thing, then afternoons free for the most part. I also like the thought of having someone else do hotels and transportation as well as booking expert guides. For instance we are booked on Venice,Florence, Rome tour but I wanted to see the Borghese gallery and love ruins. So even though we repeat some things like the Vatican and Colosseum I know myself well enough to know the first time I see them I will probably be overwhelmed so we booked the seven day Rome tour directly after because there is enough different stuff to make it worth it to us. Overkill, maybe, but as I get older I doubt I will be back to those same locations so feel like I want to take the time to see the big sites as well as have enough gelato to last me a while.

@BB

It is very important to me to copy my first sentence here again. It clearly underlines that everyone does what he/she wants and that's a good thing :-)

"First of all I would like to say that everyone travels as they want."

I've said this a few times and it works just as much for travel as it did for backpacking, "hike your own hike."

If there is any one line of reasoning I 've held on to, either consciously or otherwise, it is that I always "assumed I would return", ( a singular good piece of advice), regardless of the momentary, temporary obstacles (lack of money, personal relationships, etc., ) barring health issues.

After my first trip, 12 weeks in the summer of 1971, I knew I would be going back, aiming the earliest in two years, since I was that desperate to do that. That was my goal, intention, the prize. First, I still had finish my college and grad school plans, otherwise no trip. You take stringent measures here to scrimp and save so that you go back on a shoe string budget, staying in multi-person hostel dorm rooms. You sacrifice the privacy, relevant or irrelevant? Regardless, you're there back in Germany and France.

I can think of cities and towns I don't care to go back to, unless to change trains. Conversely, there are numerous places, I always go back , regardless of the time pressure....Paris, Berlin, London, Vienna, along with towns , Lüneburg, Potsdam, Weimar, Arras, Amiens, Fontainebleau, etc.

Basically, deciding and choosing is a matter of priorities (I include the desperation factor too) with a number of subjective reasons thrown in.

Never ever assume you are going back. That means you can blow off things too easily.
Plus, and here is the big one on that, there are way too many other places to go in the world. If you go back, you limit yourself to going to new new places. Because realistically how many places are you really going to go? Look at your travel history. Are you making 1-2 trips a year, or 5-6 trips a year, or maybe once every couple years.
Life is finite.

treemoss2, nice post.

"...everyone travels as they want." Exactly, assuming some financial flexibility is available, no singular health issues, and all that.

One chooses one's travel style, be it solo, with relatives, friends, or in a tour , conventional or unconventional, planned or the complete opposite, within one's comfort level or not. One decides the relevant aspects or those factors simply immaterial.

What ever your level three fall back alternative has failed, always have cash to cover it for an option four. For instance if you are going to visit Hadrian's Villa on a day trip from a home base in Rome, have enough cash on hand to cover either an over night, stay or a taxi back.

This sort of logic has saved us in several cases on several trips.

Know yourself well enough to know your own travel style, others be damned.

Except for the others in your party of course, that's where the (painful) compromises come in.

Also, be aware of what you're spending but don't be pennywise and pound foolish. If there's a site you really want to see, or a meal you really want to have, don't worry about the price - vacations cost money in all kinds of ways, just do it. Make up for it later that day or the next (have a picnic lunch for instance or a takeout dinner).

The Italians have a incomprehensible sense of Honor. I've seen this in many ways in our travels in Italy. It takes many forms from the "we will pay cash," and get the discount, to just being lost and all the usual transit isn't working. But if you have cash, it changes everything.

You can't get there right now, means nothing in Italy.

If you have the cash to do it. They respect this, so long as you respect them and their family. And you get to where ever you wanted to go, via a car owned by the cousin of someone. And all parties are happy with it. When you say you want something from an Italian, you have to be clear. This is all I want, for this situation, and no more.

They will add every thing else, and maybe too much, if they like you as a tourist. They may latter invite you to the family home. Which will blow your mind, just because you used the cousin to drive you back because they want to know what an American is thinking.