Too Fast?

Haha, I think he's been watching too much Amazing Race. On the other hand, it is a challenge. And we all do crazy things as a challenge.

On the other hand, I know this is just tongue in cheek...but why not?

I assume that you refer to him behind his back as "your crazy friend"? Because that's what this itinerary is. Crazy. And if my memory is correct, the person in the movie was on a group tour, which is much more efficient in its use of time because the bus drops you off everywhere. Our first trip was a tour to Rome, Florence, Venice, Lucerne, Paris in 10 days-2 more days than your friend, and 3 fewer countries. And at that time, my paradigm was one trip to Europe in my entire lifetime.

If the goal is to "take lots of photos to show people back home" it looks like a good plan! :-)

A "cheap" watch in Switzerland. That is a giveaway that this posting is a farce.

EVERYONE knows nothing is cheap in Switzerland

Your friend will be disappointed though that things have changed in Italy and he won’t get his picture of cigarette smoking gladiators at the coliseum nor feeding flocks of pigeons in St. Mark Square. Both have been banned for several years.

I guess if "seeing the sites (sic)" from the HOHO bus means seeing them from distance as some one points to it, counts, then he'll be happy. If actually getting off and seeing something, and waiting for an empty bus to get back on is what he expects, then good luck.

A few things I should point out:

1) He claims he can sleep anywhere so catching some zzzz's on a train or plane is fine.

2) He's really just going to check off a bucket list.

3) He doesn't want to be "gullible" to tourist traps or being seen as a tourist.

Wray understands.

Thanks for the chuckle!

Gullible is in mine. Just after Great stupidity.

I wish you hadn't revealed point #3. I was going to suggest skipping the gondola ride (they only sing in Italian, so what's the point?) and getting an earlier train to Pisa so he can pose for a photo holding up the leaning tower before continuing on to Rome.

I think there are a lot more enhancements possible to this itinerary. Surely you can work out a way to shortcut through the Black Forest so he can buy a cuckoo clock.

The thing about putting his finger in the dike made me spit out my Frappuccino. Thanks for the laugh!

Pisa and the photo......of course. Mamma Mia how can we forget that?

Excellent addition, Lane !

You know, if the idea lights his fire, then he should go for it.

Frank, it took me until Day 2, Buy a beret to realize this was a joke! Before that on Day 1, I said a loud, “What?!” regarding the American style hotel - LOL!

I expect to see “him” walking around wearing his money belt over his shirt, for handy access, too! Just can’t be too careful with those pickpockets he’s read about in these countries! ; )

No moneybelt or unmanly bag. He told me he's carried his wallet in his back pocket all his life and he's not going to change now.

He also said he's not going to get any of that play money and just stick to "Good Ol American Dollars" as everyone wants them.

Is he just taking a carry on or is he going to check a suitcase? If he’s checking he should pack some emergency MRE’s then he’s always got Amurrican food handy should the need arise.

Laugh all you want, these are real:

https://expatexplore.com/tours/europe-taster/

or

https://expatexplore.com/tours/europe-highlights/

I stopped reading at Day 1. Jet-lagged by at least five hours, you would spend another hour or more to get out of the airport and an hour into the centre of the city, see something on a slow-moving bus and drink beer, then to the Tunnel station where you will stand in line for at least an hour, to arrive in Paris -- a different time zone -- for an "American" hotel, whatever that is these days. You don't need advice here; better to consult the movie Back to the Future.

Thanks for the laughs Frank II. Made my day.

For good photos to impress his friends -- I would suggest getting some exotic Zoom backgrounds and posting from his living room (needs one cooperative relative or friend to take photos.) Can stay in his own comfy bed, dine with MickeyD (or splurge on American-run "foreign" restaurants) and put the saved $$$$ in the bank. Oh, sorry -- you already suggested Epcot.

https://us.polaroid.com/products/onestep-plus-polaroid-camera?utm_source=google&utm_medium=surfaces&utm_campaign=shopping%20feed&utm_content=free%20google%20shopping%20clicks&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI2beNwp-c6wIV0yCtBh0LoQb_EAQYAyABEgJGlvD_BwE

Do not forget to the camera for all those photos!

What, no traveler’s checks??

Thanks Frank!

Kudos to your friend for:

1) Not wasting any time, and getting those things done without any delays.

2) Flying Open-Jaw. That shows he’s on top of things!

But I have to question, after being inspired by the movie, how come he’s not including Belgium in his itinerary? Or does that 8-day trip not include any Tuesdays?

Also, he should realize right now that a Quarter Pounder is not the same as a Royale, because the latter has 0.1134 kilograms of beef, not anything in pounds.

And speaking of Pounds (Sterling, in this case) whilst in London, if he gets tired of the warm beer, he should take heart in knowing that cold Coors Light is now ubiquitous in pubs in the British Isles! A Silver Bullet awaits.

hey hey frank
get on the bus gus, make a new plan stan, slip out the back jack, don't be coy roy, why don't you come with me on a magic carpet ride. is motel 6 on the agenda?
thanks for the giggle frank
aloha

Oh, is that baseball cap going to worn with the brim pointing out front, or backwards? Hopefully not sideways!

I suggested he read "Europe through the Back Door" but he said if he wasn't going to carry a bag he certainly wasn't looking for any back doors.

I hope he remembers to bring enough nylons to barter with the ladies there in London.

This is a joke .... Right?

"This is a joke .... Right?"

That was my first thought. I was exhausted after reading this proposed Itinerary. If it's not a joke, it's going to be difficult to accomplish.

“Great! Are you happy now dad? She’s dead.”

The Griswolds on the steps of the Louvre

https://youtu.be/5Kq6w-McPHk

beware the chevy link-- reported

He's not bringing nylons but he is bringing chocolate. He figures there's no good chocolate in Europe so he'll bring them Hershey's.

He did ask if there were any Olive Gardens in Italy. I told him no. He's thinking of canceling the trip.

With all the planning he has to do, he's now thinking of taking a tour. He's looking for one that has ten countries in ten days. I'm sure they're available.

Frank II, please remind your friend that it’ll be difficult to rent a Chevrolet Suburban or a Ford F-150 pickup to drive on his short vacation. Even if he finds one to drive, parking space will be a challenge.

And Italy still has both meatballs and pasta, even if no Olive Garden franchise, although maybe not simultaneously. He should stick with the original plan, move forward and not look back(door).

Will he be carrying an annoying selfie stick, or handing his expensive camera to strangers?

Happy to see he is taking public transportation!

I am thinking about the 10 day, 7 country coach tour with Expat tours linked above. Great way to get back in travel mode after this year. Make up for lost time!

Frank II, thanks for the laughs. I needed this today.

In order to make this itenerary complete he needs to make a side trip to Ireland to kiss the Blarney stone!

It occurred to me that although he’s taking American dollars - “real” money, he might want to take a real credit card, just in case he has to get cash out of an ATM. And he can use the card to ring up all his transactions in actual dollars - win/win for him and merchants!

Cyn, you get my vote for the most intelligent idea.

If your friend REALLY wants to save time, why not just spend a day watching RS Travel DVD's? He could still wear his travel wardrobe, eat an American breakfast, plus schedule UberEats to deliver lunch from McDonald's and dinner from Olive Garden! All from the comfort of his American-style bed:). Yes, photos will be a little more challenging--but with a little tech saavy I'm sure a few online shots and photo shop could work. Even cheaper than a trip to Epcot--and he won't have wait for any safe travel advisories from the RS "experts".

I echo Jane's thanks for a much-needed laugh!

Photoshop? He's out today trying to find film for his Instamatic.

I suggested he watch some Rick Steves video. I think he started to watch one, proclaimed "all this guy talks about is art and churches" and switched to Anthony Bourdain. "At least this guy shows you where to drink and doesn't waste time on museums and things." Although he did mention that when it comes to eating Bourdain was too much of a daredevil for him.He likes his meat and potatoes hold the veg.

He did consider going to Ireland but thought that's the same as England and he could skip it. And anyway, if he wanted to get drunk with the Irish he could just go to Boston. Or New York. Or just about anywhere in America.

He asked me if he should bring his gun since he's been reading about the increase in crime in some of the cities. I told him the increase was in America and he wouldn't need it in Europe.

I'd like to believe this is a spoof post, but it almost certainly isn't.

A long time friend from when I lived outside the country, came to visit me in the UK. He was really exited about coming to Europe.
On day 2, we set off for London, and it became quickly apparent that he actually had no interest in the city itself, but the photo opportunities. He took shots, and had me take pictures of him next to a red phone box, a double decker bus, outside the tower of London, Buckingam Palace, St Pauls, Big Ben erc. He had no interest in visiting any of the buildings, going inside or even spending a few minutes looking at the exteriors - he wanted to get there, snap, snap, snap, and move on.

He did a 13 countries in 17 days bus tour, and came back with albums full of photographs, went home and then said he had done Europe but it was boring.

This reminds me of a trip my dad took with his senior citizens group. It was something like 12 cities in 14 days. My dad travelled extensively through Europe and Asia for work, Paris and London in particular. When the group got to the Eiffel Tower he stayed on the bus and napped.

I shouldn’t say this...but....I’m seriously worried about the mental health of those who didn’t enjoy the original post as a bit of light escape (OP- damn good job) comedy and took it as “serious” for more then about 5-10 seconds.

cala, thank you! Money talks.

And Frank Ii, since your friend is planning on talking British in England, make sure he knows to tell them that they have a “fine” country. It’ll make a big impression on all the Brits he meets!

So when’s he heading out on this trip, Frank II - next week, or the week after?

Let him know that airports can sometimes be crowded, but probably if he just coughs a lot, people will get out of his way, which might just get him up to the front of the line, minimizing any delays. It sounds like he doesn’t have any time to waste. Hope his trip goes well, just as he must be expecting!

You know, I just re-read the original message:

Lunch at restaurant serving his favorite: Spaghetti Bolognese and a glass of Chianti. (Its the only time, he says, that he will risk eating anything but American food.)

Isn’t Bolognese just one of the styles of American Spaghetti, and Chianti just one flavor of wine? Aren’t those really both American already? No risk for him after all - he’s eating just like at home! Hope he can find unlimited breadsticks!

We see people doing a trip similar to that all the time here in the American West (yes, I'm in Colorado for the summer). They have a check list of national parks they want to go to, so they stop at the entry sign to take a selfie, drive to an overlook or two for some more selfies, then leave. They can "hit" all the five major parks in Utah in just a few days! And they have the pictures to prove it!

Nick, an attempt at bein humorous? I laughed out loud several times the first time I read it. At our local travel group meeting Saturday I recommended the post, and cell phones appeared! Everyone there enjoyed it immensely.

Talking about people going places just to take photos:

My two most (least?) favorite experiences were both in Rome. At the Borghese Gallery (which I considered nearly hallowed ground) the last time we were there: There was a lovely young woman who would push to the front of the crowd, stand in front of the sculpture or painting, then pose and smile while someone took her picture. She never even looked at the art!

The other experience was at St Peter's. I am an observant Catholic, so this really was hallowed ground for me. Mass was being said in one of the side chapels, and since I arrived late I stood respectfully behind the rail, not joining the people in the seats. A woman came up, literally shoved me aside, and posed for her companion to take her photograph with the priest and altar in the background.

My sweet husband was outraged, and I thought he was going to confront her. Luckily, I grabbed him and indicated the ongoing Mass, and he stopped, but we're both still flabbergasted

The friend can actually move faster by literally hopping on and off the HOHO buses. Just jump! Those steps just impede progress. Just make sure slower tourists don’t get in the way - they’re probably staying in the city overnight anyway, so they can likely do the bus again the next day, but time’s-a-wastin’ for speedy travelers. Next stop?