Tips To Help Keep The Peace

Thanks for sharing this!

Nice article even for a solo traveler. There aren't the same interpersonal dynamics, but I still do have to cater to both my extrovert planner - who signs me up for group tours and activities - and my need for slow travel time to wander alone and recharge.

Some good tips here, but the article seems to think travel requires counseling.

A good trip is better if well planned. We are in our early 70s and have traveled to 78 countries. We keep busy every day and maximize our travel time. Still, we do pace ourselves.

I don't believe in unscheduled days, but nothing wrong with planning a lite day here and there.

geovagriffith, I think the need for unscheduled days depends upon the life you're escaping from. Retirees escaping from a relatively quiet life may not need it, but those who are escaping stressful jobs will need it. When we took a tour of Spain that included two nights in Torremolinos, I thought those days would be a waste of time. After I spent an entire morning sleeping in a chair overlooking the beach, I found that to be one of my best memories of the tour. At the time, I was a high school teacher and we went right after school was out. A morning in a beach chair doing nothing was wonderful!

Personally I really appreciated the advice to be proactive about expectations and interpersonal dynamics.

I've always found group travel to be terribly stressful, and this article helped me realize that it's my introverted trait -- I'm the type of person who feels drained, not energized, by social interaction, even though I enjoy it!

When it comes to travel with just hubby & self, which is what I mostly do, again I think that having "the talk" about expectations ahead of time can only help to make the trip go more smoothly. It can provide a basis for saying, at some point, "Remember when we talked about what we expected? And now I'm feeling [fill in blank] so I would really like to [do so-and-so] this afternoon."

I read it. My first thought was 'thank goodness I travel solo'....but I think it is good advice for families or friends who travel together. I may be doing some 3 generation travel and I'll be wanting to have an 'expectations' chat beforehand. I think I will keep one piece of advice,....when neighbours or coworkers want to join my trips, I'll say 'sure, if you are willing to pay for my trip too'....

A previous poster said it best. Be well planned. Have all the debates and "discussions" well before travel day. I can't imagine trying to organize an itinerary group travel of many different individuals. I can just hear these comments, "that's too many cathedrals to see, I don't care for art museums, I want to spend a day at the beach, I'm not climbing all those stairs, aren't we going shopping at all, i'd rather take cabs, I like to sleep late." Wow.

We often travel with others. None care about planning so I plan on what I want to see. I let them know and they can choose to come or not. This is made very clear before any reservations are made.
Also, anyone joining us can find their way back to the hotel or anyplace to their liking. They can go to whatever site they want anytime they want!
I stopped putting off what hubby and I wanted to experience just to be with those who don’t care what they see, or not. The same for dinner. Differing tastes are fine but you aren’t going to get me into a Sushi restaurant in Italy, as an example. We mostly don’t have an issue with happy hours though !😀

One reason this article "spoke" to me is that I remember some threads on these forums by people who started out planning to travel with another couple or two -- "Hey, wouldn't it be fun if we all went to X country!" -- and then got into awkward situations as the others began to be increasingly demanding about what they were and weren't willing to do on the trip.

If Person A ends up being the planner, driver, and tour guide catering to the wishes of Persons B, C, and D, that is really not fair, even if Person A is the type of traveler who enjoys making all these kinds of arrangements. And then there's the question of money, like if Person A is doing all the driving, should Person A be exempted from paying for a share of the car rental cost?

We could say it's the fault of Person A for not setting firm limits, but sometimes these things creep in gradually and Persons B, C, and D may not even realize how badly they are messing up the trip. Arranging a pre-trip meeting and using this article as a handout seems like it could prevent things from getting out of hand.

Unscheduled doesn't mean totally unplanned. We spent a week this summer in Portland Oregon and the surrounding countryside where we went there only with a rather general list of ideas and would get up every morning, look at the weather forecast and go 'so what on that list makes sense to do today?'

I've done plenty of travelling with extended family and so I've learned the importance of open and honest pre travel discussions. I'm an early riser and so any discussion on group travel will also discuss sleep habits. If I know a potential travel friend sleeps late or is up until after midnight, then we probably won't be good travel buddies if we want to remain friends.

Thanks for sharing this article. I concur with some thoughts up thread. Such as being proactive, expectations, down time, mix of scheduled and unscheduled time... We also think about the unexpected discoveries along the journey. We especially enjoy traveling solo and meeting people along the way. Recently we met a couple at the Parliament Tour in Budapest and then ran into them again at the Opera House Tour in Vienna!

I recently reread a thread on the forum from 10/28/14. "How to avoid Traveling with Friends Mistakes." Insightful contribution by Zoe who has since passed away.

Thanks for sharing the useful information. keep sharing

Still there are numerous advantages to traveling solo when you have no health problems, even in the summer, in Germany and Austria, much more preferable.

I didn't see any ground-breaking advice in the article. Yes, it's good to get input from everyone before the trip. It's important to include something for everyone; not necessarily everything for everyone - and certainly not everything for only one person (even if it's you). Yes, it's important to keep a sense of humor and keep it fun. Yes, it's important to agree on your pace of travel. Alone/down time is a personal thing. Some people need it, others don't. I'd prefer to have a plan that includes options, rather than a set list of to-dos. If someone doesn't want to go to another church on a given day, it should be fine for them to beg off while others go. If everyone is burnt out on churches, do something else. It's a life-saver to have a list of alternate sights or activities (pre-researched) on hand.

It's important to agree on accommodations. I recently traveled with my girlfriend in Ireland. I was there for 17 days, she was there for 7. During my alone time, I was happy in hostels. When we were traveling together, however, we had discussed what she "needed". A private room and private (not necessarily en suite) bath were her minimums, so we did a lot of B&B's that promised a private bathroom.

Same for food. Know what people will or won't eat before you're on the road as well as agreeing on preferences for dining vs. getting something on the go. My girlfriend likes to sit down and eat a meal slowly - figure around an hour, or more, per meal. That goes against my natural inclination to grab something and eat it on the go. I was willing to eat on her schedule, knowing that meant less time for sights. I knew that going in, it wasn't a surprise when we were traveling. It didn't become a source of controversy.

I am the family (now couple) trip planner and I worry about this all the time. I try to have multiple possibilities for every day/half day. Somethings must be scheduled in advance. Those I try to get everyone on board for before I buy the tickets. I also try to accommodate everyone's interests. Some sights are because of one of us. Usually the rest of us are pleasantly surprised at how much we enjoy it.

One of our daughters is very introverted, and allowing her alone time was a priority when she was traveling with us. For my husband and I, it's together time we often are lacking at home.

The hardest part for me to manage is differing energy levels. Giving others space to stop comfortably while the rest of us keep doing, is very important.