Tipping Mentality

While it is true that I tip more per cent -wise here than was the case a few years back, my American tipping habits do not apply at all in Europe, most definitely not in Austria and Germany. In those two countries, my tipping behaviour is German, not US.

There are two restaurants , one in Paris and one in Berlin, where I am a constant regular, go back at least once on each and every trip, have been doing that for years. At those two places, I tip a bit more but still not even close to my American tipping policy.

Please do not bring your tipping mentality with you to Europe. Travel light and leave your American tipping mentality at home.
Some people think it’s harmless to tip “American percentages” when they’re in Europe and will justify their actions by saying that the waiter didn’t seem to mind. But what they’re actually doing is imposing their way of tipping into another country and that’s definitely not harmless. Please show respect to the rules and customs of the country you’re a guest in and don’t impose your way of doing things here.

It’s so annoying to me when people travel to other countries and refuse to behave in any way other than how they behave at home. This can reveal itself in multiple ways, but I think that tipping is the worse. It’s partly due to some people not making any attempt to learn about the culture(s) they are visiting. In other cases people don’t care, they tip at home so they will tip anywhere because that’s what ‘they’ do. We arrived in Ireland on Sunday and we are traveling with another couple. She’s been to Europe a handful of times, but he has never been. Sunday night we were at dinner and he was going to leave a 20% tip. I explained that it was too much and how tipping works here. I suggested a more reasonable amount and he did that. He then asked if and how much he should tip housekeeping at the hotel. I suggested an amount and yesterday he mentioned he didn’t have euro coins so he left $2. I asked what he thought someone could do with that. I mentioned that he would probably find that $2 exactly where he left it. He got some change yesterday and is now prepared to pay in euro. I commend him for asking and trying to do things properly for where he is.

Well, this topic definitely came from a Canadian! :D

Frankly as someone who interacts with Americans new to Europe in a professional capacity, I frequently see the opposite problem. Americans using being in Europe as an excuse NOT to tip, under the guise of "Someone told me people don't tip or tip very little here". There are some places in Europe where that is true, but not in Germany, where the standard for table service is about 10%. (Even my Swabian friends, famously not big spenders, will admit this is true). "They get paid a living wage, why do I have to tip?" I hear. Because that's the custom here and it's what you do (unless the service is poor, of course).

Sarah, to be fair, I've been advised to do the opposite by Germans in Germany, not just guidebooks. And certainly advising European visitors of the imperative to tip here in the US is even harder. If there is a minimum expected tip, I wish we could drop the pretense that it is somehow a reward for "good service". Even the definitions of good service are very different between the US and much of Europe.

I know it's a topic that will never be settled. But even at home where I should feel comfortable and know what to do, people are apparently stressed and feeling obligated to tip more because the terminal says so. So imagine how I'll feel when I make it to Germany one day and I take Sarah's advice, but then in a quick google search and this article shows up; https://www.german-way.com/the-truth-about-tipping-trinkgeld-in-germany/#:~:text=You%20do%20not%20leave%20a,Dining%20Out%20in%20Germany%20guide.

The first sentence: "Much of the online English-language tipping advice for Europe – and Germany in particular – is wrong. This is understandable when you realize that even most native Germans get restaurant tipping all wrong."

I feel bad for the overseas visitors to Canada right now if they're handed a terminal that suggests everything from 18-30% Now what?

I think a lot of people believe that no one tips in Europe because they never see any money left on the tables. Because they do not understand the languages, they do not realize that people tip when they pay, and the server gives them the proper amount back. Tips are not left on the table.

You have no idea how many times Americans have told me that you do not have to tip in Germany, or that the Service Charge is the tip. Both are false.

And this, from a so called Canadian etiquette expert, "Even if you're not happy with the service, even if the server spills food all over you, I don't care what it is, [...] it's part of the cost of the meal," https://www.narcity.com/when-how-much-you-should-be-tipping-in-canada-according-to-an-expert
Good luck in Canada, my overseas friends. Food all over you +30%???

But the original question was "will you tip even more on the road because of Tip-flation at home?"

As a German, I agree with both Sarah and Ms. Jo about tipping, in Germany at least. We do normally tip, about 10 % or so, at restaurants where you sit and are served. (A bit less or a bit more is also fine--it depends on how the rounding works, for example: I just ate with colleagues for lunch today, and tipped about 90 cents on an 11.10 Euro meal, to make it 12 Euro). But it all happens directly with the server when you pay, so if you don't speak German, you don't see it. We would never leave money on the table, like one does in America.

(After I wrote this post, I thought to check the German internet to see if my personal feelings about this were reflected there, and found many German-language articles discussing between 5 and 10 % for restaurant tips, tending more towards 10 %. People who read German can use the search term "wie viel Trinkgeld im Restaurant" to read what is said about this subject in German.)

Not to muddy the waters, but it's important to understand that at fine-dining restaurants in the US (I mean restaurants which hope to have less than the industry's 100% annual turnover) waiters are often required to put their tips into a pool, which then includes busboys and others who have direct customer contact. It is true that this also increases the opportunity to withhold taxes on tip income. But I don't believe that just because food service workers are widely exploited, they should be exempt from income taxes!

(I'm neglecting here the incidents where unethical owners, particularly in the few unionized restaurants where data get exposed, who have included non-customer managers in the tip pool.)

Also relevant, especially because of the trend towards Square and other processors that speed credit card acceptance and number safety, is that the restaurant subtracts processing fees (and who knows how much ... vig .... from the customer's tip amount before paying the tip out. Because young people today have this as their first experience of tipping, they take it as "normal."

It is particularly annoying that Square now offers huge tip option buttons in businesses that never had tipping before, like retail take-away bakeries and fast-service deli takeaway. I wonder if this has allowed the owners to classify their employees as "tipped'", and thus subject to a 33% lower minimum wage in many American locations?

Oh my gosh, Tim, I so agree about the square tipping thing. I am not tipping you if I don’t get table service or I’m just picking up my dry cleaning. Sheesh! So annoying! Sorry, a little off topic.

Residents in our community Nextdoor forum continually promote tipping for almost every service imaginable. They even discuss the large gifts to postal workers which violate USPS policies. It seems that the pandemic has been instrumental in causing residents to view service providers with a new respect. Normally highly paid people who repair appliances or perform routine HVAC service are being tipped. I'm reluctant to join them. As much as I value the yearly maintenance visits I know that the technician is not in the same position as restaurant workers.

Tipping---One of society's most guilt plagued and discriminated practices.

Tipping percentages on the price of the food has always baffled me.

A server at Outback serves me a filet, baked potato, a side and a draft beer for $31. The server gets a tip of $6.20

A server at a high end steakhouse serves the same meal and beverage for $ 62. The server gets a tip of $12.40.

WHY?

This is a subject that comes up regularly. Not only do the answers vary depending on the country, but they seem to be changing rapidly. Certainly, American habits have started to penetrate European practices. Additionally, people who are experienced with the various countries disagree with each other. See above. What’s a traveler to do?
The one thing that is certain is that American tipping culture is completely out of control. Tipping retail clerks? 30% tips? Where I used to live (SF Bay Area), many restaurants stated on their checks that 20% would be added for service, or some such formulation. There was then the opportunity to add more. Is the 20% just a way to make prices appear lower than they really are? Or, is it what it claims to be, namely, way to compensate workers fairly and make them independent of customer whims?

To elaborate on Threadwear’s comment. It used to be a guideline that there was no tipping on alcohol, an extreme example of where a % makes no sense. It seems that that has fallen by the wayside.

Treadwear, for the same reason that an attorney at a small firm with only a few employees will bill at $200 an hour, whereas an attorney at a large downtown firm with hundreds of employees will bill at $450 an hour for doing the same work.

I do believe that one should adapt to local customs, but is tipping
really that horrible of a thing? I can think of far worse things.
Anyways, tip what you want. No one is going to block you leaving if
you choose not to tip or tip a low amount.

Does this mean you'll adapt to local customs in a no-tip country like Finland, or does that mean you'll tip what you want no matter where you are? 30% isn't off the table?

Very true that in Germany the tip is not left on the table. I have never seen that done either. When it's paying time, I tell the server what the total amount is, usually what is suggested above, not more than 10% as a tip, pay in cash, regardless if a credit card (irrelevant) is accepted ,

Have there been times where I only paid for the meal, ie leaving no tip at all and no rounding off. Yes. That's also something I've seen Germans do, how often? Not a lot but not rarely either.

Americans are a "tipping culture." What about non-tipping cultures?

I think people should mind their own business and not focus on what others do.

From time to time I have to interact with Asian business men visiting Texas. When they bow I dont see it as submissive inappropriate cultural behavior in Texas. It is how they show respect, its a personal thing, and I appreciate it. So that waitress in Albania will just have to choke down my tip if the service requires it for me to show my respect in accordance with my culture. Most service providers in Europe know this oddity of our culture, so maybe not tipping would be seen the same as I would have seen the Asian business gentleman if he had not bowed.

And as it is evident in the posts above, Europe is not a place, it is a collection of places so there is no norm for Europe on the subject. So "Europeans" dont tip, except in countries where the DO tip.

I just returned from almost 4 weeks in a country in Europe. A country where the average tip is essentially "keep the change" maybe a bit more if the change is small. I frequented one establishment maybe 10 evenings. The service and the kindness were exceptional so I tipped according to my culture. Last night in town I walk in and my name is on the bar above "my" bar stool. If I were a cynic I would say that the name tag cost me about $20. Even as a cynic, it was worth it. Truth is they are just beautiful people and we had fun together.

I think people should mind their own business and not focus on what others do.

Because quite often what others do has consequences and repercussions for others.

Because quite often what others do has consequences and repercussions for others.

I can't interpret if you're agreeing or disagreeing with Continental. But the knowledge of what others are doing is helpful to be able to fit in to local social norms.

We tip 10% in Europe, 20% in the States. Period. Done. I am offended by the thought this is an American issue. Maybe we are just a more generous people. Maybe not. I really think posts like this just cause an uproar.

I can't interpret if you're agreeing or disagreeing with Continental. But the knowledge of what others are doing is helpful to be able to fit in to local social norms.

I'm disagreeing with Continental. Americans have a reputation for being big tippers and that reputation has resulted in an expectation by many in the tourism sector that all Americans and even non-Americans will be big tippers. When that expected big tip doesn't appear because the diner/guest/patron is adhering to cultural norms then it can result in resentfulness or hostility.

Unfortunately there are a large number of Americans who believe that leaving big tips is a sign of generosity and they feel slighted when being told that it's not helpful. Ego and virtue signalling sometimes takes precedence over respect for the norms of the host country.

Tipping---One of society's most guilt plagued and discriminated practices.

I also should add, as divisive as politics and religion.

(Guilt/Divisive plagued) "You only left 15%? (OMG, I'm so embarrassed for you!, I always leave at least 20%, I'm a better person)"

(Discriminated practice) "Why tip some professions and not others?"

Tipping is a volunteer practice. Just like giving charitable donations. There may be customary practices around the world, but there are no requirements. Also, no judgments should be made on whether you tip or not or what the amount is you leave.

Maybe we should start a "no tipping" policy in the US and CN. This may help servers get a better livable wage from their employers. Perhaps tipping enables owners from actually living up to their responsibilities to their employees.

The challenge for us when in different European countries is that when paying by credit card, there is usually no gratuity option on the machine, whereas in Canada and the US, there is always one. Thus if we are leaving a tip when travelling, we will leave a cash tip on the table (5-15% depending on all the factors mentioned above). Admittedly we are doing more tipping these days because of the impact of Covid restrictions on the service community.

I tip generously when I get excellent service. That this is interpreted as “bad” is incomprehensible to me because being a server is hard work (I remember that well) regardless of whether someone earns what is deemed by some as a “living wage” or not. To me that is absolutely irrelevant to the excellence in service provided.

Historically, one was to be discrete about the tip. Oh well, I guess I
need to get with the times and make sure I do the proper virtue
signalling to make sure my "generosity" or lack of is know to everyone
around.

I think discretion was eliminated when multiple tip options began to be displayed on terminals. An option for 30% has tipped the scales to blatantly bold.

Maybe we should start a "no tipping" policy in the US and CN.

A few years ago, a well known restaurant group in NYC decided to do this. They paid their servers a good wage and let customers know tipping was no longer required or even expected. They had to stop after a few weeks. The customers hated it. They felt bad not leaving a tip.

I tip according to local custom.

“ The challenge for us when in different European countries is that when paying by credit card, there is usually no gratuity option on the machine”
There is no gratuity option on the machine, because tips are not expected/needed. If tips were expected, the restaurant would make sure there was an easy way of giving them.

An article (ie not my words) which appeared today in the local NZ online news site:

Thrown off by tipping culture

I hate tipping. Not because I’m cheap (although I’m that too), but there’s something within the New Zealand psyche that rightly finds tipping goes against our egalitarian values: it seems deeply unfair to subsidise the wages of service workers in such an overt way. Should a worker’s wages be left up to chance of the generosity of who walks in the door that day? Can’t minimum wages and fairer contracts just be legislated?

There’s something that sours the server-customer relationship when you realise the chirpy smiles, speedy service, conversation and general hosting is down to squeezing 20% or 15% instead of 10% from you on top of the food and drinks bill. It’s made more confusing by different tipping etiquette across borders.

Germany actually sits towards the top end of tipping rate in Europe. One survey carried out a few years ago supports that the most common tip in a restaurant is in the 5-10% range, done by 75% of those surveyed. Only 3% never left anything at all and 4% more than that.

The average tip in Britain is somewhat less, lower again France and is rare in Italy.

What unfortunately is growing in some countries is the imposition of a service charge ("discretionary" or compulsory) which is not a tip but another payment to the owners.

Something nobody ever comments on is the difference between waiting styles in North America and Europe, which may reflect tipping habits. It seems to me that in North America a table will be served by a single member of staff, while in Europe one may be served by different people at different times during your visit. In Europe, you may order your food from one member of staff, but it will be placed on the table by someone else, and others may also be involved at different stages. How should one tip if one is especially helpful when you are choosing dishes, and you never see that person again? In such circumstances, a tip shared by all staff seems much fairer.

A further difficulty can occur if one pays with a contactless card, and doesn't have a chance to add an amount for a tip. That happened to me this week. I don't normally carry the sort of cash I could use for a tip,

Bob, that can happen in the US too, but it doesn't seem to me to be any more prevalent in the few countries I have visited.

With the card, I look at the bill and then tell the wait person what to put on the machine before I tap.

@ Allan

Great topic. My wife has decreed that we are to visit our friends in Petosky, Michigan. The fear of being accosted by some gun toting militaria haunts me. Especially if they look like the two illiterates before the Michigan courts at the moment. But as Prime Minister Jim Hacker said: when you have them by the short and curly, then their hearts and minds soon follow. My wife enjoys that quote.

I live in a not tipping society. And loving it.

So where does my tip go? (Rhetorical question) The article, Allen listed, concludes with suggestions of a conspiracy by the corpulent owners of hospitality businesses to gain extra income. No surprise expressed on my part.

To anyone. I am interested in reasons as to why I should swallow my values and follow yours when in your country?

Regards Ron

If New Zealand and Tasmania are non-tipping societies, I learned something new. As such I know they are not the only ones.

For those not sure of the U.S. tipping system, let me try to explain a few items.

--for those positions where tipping is the norm in the U.S--mostly wait persons--the employer can pay a lower wage to that person since they are expected to make up the difference with tips. If the wait person does not make enough in tips--usually equal to the minimum wage--the employer must make up the difference.

--in most cases, the wait person keeps the tips. In some cases tips are pooled among the wait staff. In some restaurants, the wait staff shares parts of their tips with the bus personnel. In others, cooks and dishwashers also share but it's rare as they are paid a regular wage.

--TIPS stands for "To Insure Proper Service." Many visitors to the U.S. claim that service is better in U.S. restaurants because the server is working for tips.

--tipping is reflected in US culture. We just know a tip is expected and we account for that as part of the price of going out. Instead of the restaurant charging more to cover the cost of the server, the tip and its amount is left up to the customer. (Sort of like some tours where tipping is "not required." The person who would normally get a tip is being paid more to cover it. The cost off the tour is higher to cover the extra cost to the tour company.)

--just as many non-Americans are flustered as to why they have to tip in the US, Americans are just as confused as why we have to pay to use the toilet. Pay toilets pretty much disappeared from the USA decades ago.

RE Frank using tips to make up minimum wage
Such practice is illegal in UK. Some scum firms have been caught out doing it
Has the tipping culture in US a recent thing? I visited in 1976 and 1995 and don't recall expectation of tips.
I am all for a campaign to stop tipping. There should be no need. Only given for exceptional service.

NZ restaurant experience versus US restaurant experience

NZ (last night)
- Attentive, polite service
- Stayed for 3 hours, (chatting long after table had been cleared. Very normal here)
- Bill not brought to the table - pay as you leave and when you are ready.
- Paid the price on the menu and didn't even cross my mind to tip. No embarrassment, I'm not tight, it's just not expected.

US ( a few years ago)
- very friendly service
- Bill brought over as soon as forks were down
- Server returns to prompt payment ( and us to leave). Tipped as per expectations.
- Somehow more transactional (despite the overtly friendly service)

How the financials work in NZ when tables aren't 'turned' as frequently, I have no idea.

It's a just a very different experience, and the NZ version is probably more aligned with what I've experienced in the UK and Europe.

The practice of tipping began in England. As early as the 1600's, house guests would leave a small sum to the servants as a thank you for their service. The practice then extended to London coffeehouses and restaurants. (It was the upper classes giving money to the lower classes.)

Tipping was introduced in American aroun 1840. Wealthy Americans returning from Europe saw the practice of tipping and started it. It was to distinguish the difference in classes.

After the Civil War, freed black were able to get jobs in restaurants and on trains. To save wages, these companies encouraged their customers to tip as these workers truly relied on them to make money.

But by the early 1900's, tipping was seen as a dividing people into classes and that was not popular in the US. It was even made illegal in a few states. The anti-tipping movement made its way to Europe where the practice was gotten rid of in most places by the growing labour movement.

However, during Prohibition in the US, hotel and restaurant revenue decreased due to the lack of liquor sales so businesses encouraged tipping to help supplement their employees low wages.

In 1938, it became a law that employers could pay some workers less as long as they made up with difference with tips. Some states have abolished that and insist that all workers make at least the federal minimum wage.

Americans tip. It's part of our culture.

Has the tipping culture in US a recent thing? I visited in 1976 and 1995 and don't recall expectation of tips.

3 of my young female cousins worked after school at a popular mall restaurant in the early 70's. I'm sure that their charm and beauty had something to do with their success. I made much less painting signs after school at the jeans store.

To anyone. I am interested in reasons as to why I should swallow my
values and follow yours when in your country?

Ron, you'll get a lot of navel gazing when you bring up this question.

So where does my tip go? (Rhetorical question) The article, Allen
listed, concludes with suggestions of a conspiracy by the corpulent
owners of hospitality businesses to gain extra income. No surprise
expressed on my part.

I didn’t know this until I read the article, but there is no law in Alberta that requires the tips paid via electronic transaction to be given back to the employees. Probably one reason owners are bold enough to include a 30% option. I don’t know if any of the US States are required to hand over the tips.

3 of my young female cousins worked after school at a popular mall
restaurant in the early 70's. I'm sure that their charm and beauty had
something to do with their success. I made much less painting signs
after school at the jeans store.

https://www.businessinsider.com/pretty-waitresses-earn-bigger-tips-from-women-2015-9
Gender and racial bias has always been an concern with the anti-tipping movement, but this article has a spin I didn’t expect. While it unsurprisingly says that pretty women make more in tips, it says those larger tips come from women.

https://www.businessinsider.com/pretty-waitresses-earn-bigger-tips-from-women-2015-9
Gender and racial bias has always been an concern with the anti-tipping movement, but this article has a spin I didn’t expect. While it unsurprisingly says that pretty women make more in tips, it says those larger tips come from women.

That is a surprising spin. My cousins were always tipped more generously by men but that was the 70's.

I wouldn't consider tipping more than 20% in the US.

Silas Marner,

I was telling my brother about that article describing women tipping more to good looking women servers. His response was that women dress to impress other women. I thought that was pretty shallow….until I recognized that if I take care in how I present myself, I’m rewarded by other women complimenting me on my clothes, hairstyle, etc. That brings me pleasure. I don’t expect the same reaction from men.. I guess I’m the shallow one.

susie,

It's an interesting article and subject, isn't it? 50 years have passed since my cousins were waitresses and I'm sure so much has changed. I know my cousins were young, stylish and quite appealing at that time. I talked with one of them today and she thought there may have been more men picking up the bills in the early to mid 70's. It may have been a regional Downriver Detroit thing.

@ Frank II Thank you for your posts. The second expanded on history that I did not know about.

@ Allan. In my view the correct answer to my question is: a resounding Yes, with perhaps a caveat or two. If I go to a country, even reluctantly, I should observe that countries laws and customs. I should be an accommodating guest, showing respect for established cultural nuances. There to enjoy and soak up the atmosphere and environment. In a small way I am representing my country. Hopefully not with the premeditated goal of confrontation.

Of course, I am going to tip in the US and Canada. It is how things are done. It seems to me that it would be presumptuous for me, on my part, to bring my views with me and not engage in the local culture of tipping. It would be rude and show me up as a complete prat. Probably give direct to the person and not via card to the establishment. Would accept the advice of my friends on this matter. I must acknowledge that the amounts are important to the receiver.

A little on my self-opinionated views that I have formed as I have grown up in at the bottom of the earth.

By the grace of all deities’, I have lived in a country that does not need to tip. I view the practice demeaning and prima facia evidence of a society where social status is paramount, and some people are looked down on, a carryover from slavery. A view not necessarily held in other countries, nevertheless my conclusions.

Two thousand years ago, a young Jewish man postulated that we should be egalitarian and value our fellow man. Charity was the divine providence of his father and an admirable quality for humans to follow. He was executed for these and other such radical views. For better or worse, egalitarian values have developed in my country over the short European settlement and implied in the great south land’s constitution of 1901. I consider myself an egalitarian.

Providing a hospitality service is not demeaning in the great south land. It is valued. These workers are my mates. Tipping is the complete antithesis of my egalitarian values. We have an equitable wages system under continual review and improvement. Our hospitality workers are fairly compensated.

The terms “server, and wait staff” are disappearing from use. In the hospitality industries it suggests a medieval approach to workers. Demeaning. Suggesting unskilled, which they are not. They are hospitality workers, not servers.

Frank II. You motivated me to lookup information on minimum wage in USA. My initial reaction was to be shocked at how low the rate was. Gobsmacked actually. My current rate is $22.33 AUD. Hardly anybody is paid at this low rate.

A mud map of hospitality employment. Base level, permanent, hospitality workers would after 7pm, weekdays receive around $30ph, on day Saturday closer to $40ph and on Sunday and public holidays (ie: Christmas, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, Easter Friday, Easter Monday and others) $50ph. Plus 10.5% paid by the employer into the employees chosen retirement fund. Additional 4 weeks paid holidays/vacation with a 17.5% leave loading bonus. 2 weeks sick leave per year. After 10 years entitlement to 3 months fully paid long service leave. (Carry over from colonial days.) Casuals have higher rates to compensate for no sick leave, or holidays. But 10.5% into their chosen retirement fund is compulsory. Perhaps indicates why we do not need to tip. In the great south land employees are a businesses most valued asset. I gather a strange concept to those in US. I know a little about employment law/industrial relations. It is where I started my working life.

Caveat. I do not fear my fellow Australians and have no reason to go about with a firearm. Would not under any circumstances follow this cultural anomaly. Thankfully our criminals tend to kill each other. Usually completing the job successfully.

Regards Ron

I just returned from almost 4 weeks in a country in Europe. A country
where the average tip is essentially "keep the change" maybe a bit
more if the change is small. I frequented one establishment maybe 10
evenings. The service and the kindness were exceptional so I tipped
according to my culture.

Then I assume you also won't have any problem if I visit the US and tip according to my culture there.

I tip generously when I get excellent service. That this is
interpreted as “bad” is incomprehensible to me because being a server
is hard work (I remember that well) regardless of whether someone
earns what is deemed by some as a “living wage” or not. To me that is
absolutely irrelevant to the excellence in service provided.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ugly_American_(pejorative)

TIPS stands for "To Insure Proper Service." Many visitors to the U.S. claim that service is better in U.S. restaurants because the server is working for tips.

That's not true. If it was it would be TEPS "To ENSURE Proper Service", besides, if you want to ensure proper service (some claim the P stands for Prompt service) then why tip at the end? Surely if you're aiming to ensure proper or prompt service then you would pay at the immediate outset.

Having visited the US for well over a decade I wouldn't claim that the service is better. I find much of the service, particularly in restaurants, to be too intrusive, overbearing and often false. I also don't like being rushed in order to turn a table over quickly. There's skill involved in good service and that is knowing how to be unobtrusive yet recognising when it is appropriate to approach the table.

In AMERICAN english, the second definition of "insure" is basically the same as "ensure." So, it is correct.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/insure

But why would you provide a tip after the event if the purpose was to ensure prompt service? The acronym simply doesn't make sense.

An explanation of the urban myth of the acronym of TIP:

https://eu.dispatch.com/story/opinion/letters/2017/06/26/origin-tip-is-misunderstood/985621007/

In American culture, tipping is customary. It's not tipped ahead of time because it varies. If the server does a great job, he/she might get a better tip. A poor job, a lesser tip.

Every country, every culture has nuances that are different from another. Some you might like, some you might not.

Wow, we may have found a topic that provokes more responses than 1) when to buy your ticket, 2) should you bring cash with you, or 3) should you pay your traffic ticket............

Lots of different (and interesting) perspectives on this. I particularly appreciate the perspective about following the custom of the country you are visiting rather than forcing your own standards on others.

After reading all the posts I have decided 15% is the max I will tip in the US and Canada. I will not be pressured by restaurants to pay a higher percentage unless the restaurant will roll back their menu prices to pre-pandemic prices LOL. I figure if my check is now higher due to inflation, so will the tip amount increase accordingly. If a check was $100 and the tip was $15.00 and the price has now increased to $120, now the tip is $18.00. Now we are all giving and receiving equally. I'm not going to tip a larger percentage because the credit card machine or the checks "suggest" 18, 20, 25% and 15% has been dropped off the screen or check. How exactly has service become better in the past several years when 15% didn't become enough?

PS Tipping is not cultural in the US. In the US it is a calculated lobbyist effort by the National Restaurant Association to subsidize restaurant owner's cost of labor. If it was cultural you would have been tipping sales clerks throughout the past century when they would assist you in finding the clothing you were purchasing or the many other service providers who rarely, if ever, received tips who work just as hard as hospitality workers. Don't fall for the propaganda the NRA floats about.

Stay strong. 15% Max! Should we get hats and shirts? Wait, do we tip the screen printer?

Stay strong. 15% Max! Should we get hats and shirts? Wait, do we tip the screen printer?

You're mad at the restaurant owners so you take it out on the servers. In most areas, restaurant servers are paid less than the minimum wage because they are expected to make up the difference in tips. Most other hospitality workers are paid more. That's why they're not tipped. The same goes for sales clerks, screen printers, and the like. They are not in jobs where tips are expected.

Just because a tip jar is out doesn't mean you have to tip. They just hope you will. During the pandemic, there was a nice bakery near where I was staying. I would buy my bread there because of the taste and quality. All the person serving me had to do was take it to the slicing machine and slice the bread. When I went to pay, they wanted to know if I would like to add a tip to the total. (No cash, just cards.)

No. They're getting paid a full wage and all they had to do was put the loaf in the machine.

You're mad at the restaurant owners so you take it out on the servers.

I don't take it out on the servers, the restaurant owners do. Owners are the ones who will not pay a livable wage to servers and have developed a clever system of tipping to get restaurant customers to pay the owner's employees their wages.

How exactly do restaurants in countries where tipping is almost non-existent survive, while in the US, restaurants say tipping is essential and it has to be at least 18-25%? The US ranks behind, Ireland, France, the UK, Netherlands, Belgium, Germany, Canada, Israel and Spain in minimum wage. What is the magic formula these restaurant owners have that US restaurant owners can't figure out?

The National Restaurant Association says raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour will hurt the employees AND the customers because menu prices will rise. Surprise to the NRA, tipping percentages are invisible increases to menu prices.

Bottom Line: The customer is in control of whether to tip or not and how much. No one should judge a percentage, especially the person being tipped. I'll stick with the 15% and use MY DISCRETION as to whether it should be more or less, it's not the restaurant owners call.

The National Restaurant Association says raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour will hurt the employees AND the customers because menu prices will rise.

I've heard that tripe as well. The prices in restaurants in the US are on a similar level to those in the UK and Western Europe. If restaurants in Europe can pay their staff a liveable wage AND make a profit whilst charging similar prices to US restaurants then US restauranteers are clearly very keen to maintain the status quo of making customers pay their staff wages.

I've learned since I started this post that you also need to question who gets the money. In Alberta there is no law that says the house has to pass it on to staff when the to its made optional via the terminal. Here's one article regarding the US that it can all be in the wording. https://www.webstaurantstore.com/blog/2724/automatic-grauity-law.html there's no date on the article and this line quotes 2012 laws but it appears if an "automatic gratuity" is charged it isn't necessarily passed on.

Unlike a tip, automatic gratuity funds are considered restaurant funds
and are not specifically designated as property of the server by the
customer. An employer may choose to share part or none of the
automatic gratuity funds with their employee.

Allan...Here is an interesting blog on owners abilities to keep tips here in the US.

https://www.shouselaw.com/ca/blog/employer-withholding-tips/

@periscope. I think the 15-20% gratuity usually comes into play when there is a large party. My daughter (a restaurant manager) has reported many times when a large party comes into her $$$$ seafood place, there can be up to 20 people, and that can require a dedicated server. Now this group can have unrealistic expectations of impeccable service when they are all ordering at the same time and running the waiter’s wheels off trying to keep up with appetizers, drinks, bread, etc. Regardless of effort, this group has overloaded her, and the kitchen, and if that group the stiffs the waitress - and it does happen regardless of the level of service - then that server has made nothing for the night. I understand and even appreciate this as part of a group so that I know the waitstaff is taken care of if I am not the one to pay the bill.

Have you seen this fixed tip applies in other situations? I am imagining a very high end restaurant where is hard to get a reservation making sure their servers are tipped well, and not leaving it up to personal tipping “tastes.”

I must admit I am guilty of “tipflation.” So many restaurants are struggling to stay open with fewer workers … I can afford to make the day of the ones who show up!

Interesting conversation

Hmm…we eat out a lot and my son is a waiter (actor! Ha!) in NYC. We agree we’ve not seen this unless it is a group. I will be on the lookout for that.

Regardless of effort, this group has overloaded her, and the kitchen, and if that group the stiffs the waitress - and it does happen regardless of the level of service - then that server has made nothing for the night.

Then the sole responsibility should be that of the restaurant owner to pay their staff a proper wage, that way the server is paid for their efforts. It is such a bizarre concept to make staff rely on customer tips to earn a living, it's archaic and unjust.

When I'm out to dinner in the USA, I'm out to enjoy myself, not give restaurant employees a performance review. I really dislike the need to figure out what sort of feedback-through-compensation I'll give them - that's what their managers are paid to do.

So I just tip 20%. Did an amazing job? 20%. Did a kind of bad job? Also 20%. I really, really don't want to think about it, so I don't.

Got to agree too that tipping on frackin' everything is out of hand. I can't tell you how many times lately living in an already expensive city + inflation + high sales tax + plus high % tip button have led to "geez did I really just pay $23 for and acai bowl?" Etc etc ...

I waited tables for 7 or 8 years in college, so been a 20%er my whole adult life. Special ring of hell for (ex)industry people who don't pay it forward.

Easy to figure, I can afford a few more bucks.

Greater point though I don't like to even think about how a server did, what our "relationship" was like. So I don't.

Yes, the tipping customs of the US are out of whack and getting worse, but that doesnt address the issue raised here, which is taking that tipping custom with you while traveling. I have no issue with people who know and understand that the US custom and the system of underpaying some workers is not universal, and choose to make US-sized tips part of their routine. If its truly for good (by American standards) service, to share the wealth, or to foster a good relationship, then no problem.

But the majority of Americans I've observed, dont ask what should we tip for good service in XXXX country, they ask "what is the expected gratuity". Regardless of how that service differs from service in the US, we expect to tipping 15-30% to be a universal custom. Does it hurt the server to get extra money - no. I dont expect them to turn it down. But creating that expectation hurts the next traveler they may serve. Its a perfect example of that old saying "when in Rome . . . ."

So its not bad that people do it for the right reasons, but not as the conditioned response of automatic "guilt-tipping"* we do here. If we really meant to reward hard, underpaid work, we'd tip the kitchen staff.

*a term I did not make up

Guilt Tipping:

https://nypost.com/2022/04/08/guilt-tipping-pressure-to-tip-has-gotten-out-of-control/

"Tipping is good karma...it's never mandatory, it's customary."

That quote from a so called etiquette expert. That's what my original post is about, is it suddenly going to be customary to tip 30% and we'll just take our customary habits on the road??

And this, the tip hoverer:

https://nypost.com/2022/07/12/guilt-tipping-takes-a-hit-in-viral-video-so-awkward/

if it becomes customary to tip 30% then those that can will. And those that can not will still do what they can. Would you object if I anonymously gave $30 to a neighbor that I knew needed it? Would that establish a custom that all of us had to help people when it was in our power. I make 10x what the waitress that waited on me 2 hours ago makes in a year. I know she is a single mother. Sure, she makes a "living wage" but i doubt any of us would want that "living"? My kids had all the toys they ever wanted. I doubt her daughter does. We have people in the government who are demanding equity. Well, my conscience isn't dictated by law. You know, technically that isn't a tip. A tip I think has a tighter meaning. So maybe I am wrong on that one. But "tip" often provides an excuse to do the right thing.

I was once told by a young lady in Montenegro that my tip for a week of her services was too much. I told her, keep it or donate it to charity. She sent me the receipts from the charity. G-d bless her. For that, if she ever gets in trouble, I will fly to Montenegro and bail her out at any expense. Why the larger than average tip? Because she was just starting in the business and was undercharging to get established. I sort of felt like I was exploiting the situation, so I compensated.

This reminds me of an incident about 30 years ago. In my touring days, one company I worked for also did special events including travel. They had their tour directors run the events since we knew how to handle groups.

In the early days of cellphones, one manufacturer flew 250 mobile phone dealers from the UK to Los Angeles for a week of pampering. We stayed at a five star hotel. Before dinner, a majority of them would hit the hotel bar for a drink. It was packed and the waitresses were running ragged.

No one tipped.

The waitresses would come to us and complain about it. We understood. We tried to explain to the guests about tipping but it never sunk in. My boss decided to make up the difference from company funds.

And then we billed it to the client.

In Japan, there is no tipping. On my first day, and still jet lagged from the long journey, I went into a local sushi place and enjoyed lunch. Without thinking, I left a cash tip on the table. As I left, the waitress came running after me, handed the money back, and said I had forgotten it. She then bowed and went back to the restaurant before I could say anything.

I find that if you follow the local customs/rules/traditions when it comes to tipping, you can't go wrong.

“I only tipped 20% once last year,…the restaurant’s got to earn it.”

I thought the point was, you should tip according to local custom. Our custom is 15 to (very customarily) 20%.

Europeans pay their staff a living wage and add the “service charge” into their food cost. US restaurants do not. I feel like you are paying it either way, and I don’t believe in showing my displeasure with local custom by taking it out on the server. The ones who are showing up right now have a whole new set of big challenges, as many places are severely understaffed.

BTW, my son explains that in nyc the $15 per hour wage is a minimum that works like this: if the server has a slow shift and does not make enough with tips to equal $15 per hour (many times after pooling tips and sharing with the bartender, busboy, etc.) then the restaurant owner is on the hook to make up the difference. Otherwise they get a $10 hourly wage plus tips. The system depends on “customary” tipping. The discussion about whether this SHOULD be the custom is another matter…but under tipping a server is misplaced activism IMO.

but under tipping a server is misplaced activism IMO.

If the owner is going to make up the difference then the staff member is not losing out. Make the employers cough up, they've been getting away with it for years.

It is not my responsibility as a customer to pay separately the wages of any worker. Restaurants should not be treated any more special than any other business. If you open a business you have to charge enough to cover ALL your costs (labor is a cost) and turn a profit. If you can't, then shut your doors! You stink as a business owner.

I'm glad that restaurants are having trouble finding servers. Perhaps servers have said, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore". More than likely they have found other jobs that make just as much money without basically begging for wages.

I wish it would change, but until people stop supporting the National Restaurant Association's M.O., this discussion will always continue in the US until inflation moves the average tip to 50%. Don't laugh, we are halfway there.

Tipping is not a mentality. It is a social mental illness. Both on the giving and receiving side.

Will this Tip-flation trend result in you tipping even more...

We try to tip according to the local custom of the country we're in. In the U.S., "tip-flaftion" has been with us for decades, and decades. When we first starting going to cafes and resturants in our early teens, the standard tip was 10%. And wait staff in eateries were the only people who received tips. With some of them now making $15. an hour, our tips will be in the 15-18% range - perhaps 20% in the case of exceptional service. And don't even think of a tip for counter service. "Do you want fries with that?" just doesn't merit it.

I posted on this subject a while ago and received much consternation for it but for me it was a prime example of how tipping an arbitrary percentage is wrong.

My family and I ate at an expensive steak house in Orlando (International Drive so already inflated costs). We were served by a young lad the whole evening (other than the sommellier) who preformed his role politely and efficiently. The food was OK, nothing exceptional and we had a couple of bottles of wine in the $60+ range. The bill was high as expected however I was not prepared to leave a tip at the suggested percentage but instead left an amount that I considered fair and appropriate. My argument being that if we had wine that was priced at $20 why should we be expected to pay a higher tip on a more expensive bottle? The bottle was simply being opened and poured, it could have been a bottle of coke for intents and purposes so why should the price dictate a higher tip which is purpotedly supposed to represent recognition of good service?

I then did a very rough calculation based on the number of tables and people that the lad was serving and assuming bills were in the same ballpark as ours that if every table tipped the average suggested amount then he would be earning, on average, the same as an Orlando police officer. I'm sure he works hard but to suggest that his job is worth the equivalent renumeration as a police officer is absurd.

For anyone who posts about the living wages of servers in any European country, please look it up to see what they get per month. It is vastly different in each country.
What is a living wage even mean, cause it is tossed around here pretty freely? Enough monthly income to buy a house or just rent, what about a car, the day care, or health insurance if this is not covered in that country. Yes, not every country provides health insurance for "free".
Research each country you visit and see what the norms are. They are not accurate in the Rick Steves books, as much of his research was done decades ago and is not longer accurate.

Someone mentioned kitchen staff. In many restaurants, the servers DO tip out to the kitchen staff, though most cooks are making a lot more per hour than servers. The dishwasher and the prep cooks are lower paid and appreciate those tips they get from the servers.

Ms Jo. Yes, you are correct. There is a site where cost of living is tracked for various locations and you can do comparisons. I suspect the data base is a bit weak so its sort of ballpark numbers. First you need a benchmark for what a living wage even means. Whos lifestyle? I picked NYC because the claim to pay a living wage then looked at some other countries in Europe adjusting for cost of living and their minimum wage. Some countries did as well, some did better, many came up pretty short. Its one of the reasons I did the "Europe is not a Place" post that has ticked so many off.

Just in case people haven’t done the math, $15/hour works out to be about $30,000/year. So where in the U.S. can a person live on that? New York? San Francisco?

In the past, ie, pre-pandemic, I tipped on the average a perfunctory 15%...yes, pretty cheap. Now, I tip anywhere from 18 to 22%....just depends, numerous factors come into play. Is it " Tip-flation?" Or, is that immaterial?

There's a podcast I enjoy - Flightless Bird - 'a show that follows kiwi journalist David Farrier as he embarks on a quest to understand American culture, after getting accidentally marooned here. From football to flags, religion to burgers, David wants to learn about the things that make America tick'.

If you are you interested in hearing about US culture from an outsiders perspective you might enjoy. Anyway, the latest episode is about tipping and offers some interesting insights. Synopsis below:

This week on Flightless Bird, David gets out his wallet and dives into the culture and politics of tipping. Joined by Monica Padman, he sets out to discover why 52% of Americans tip their hairdresser while only 14% always tip their barista. David interviews Mike Lynn, a professor at the Cornell Hotel School, about the social pressures of tipping and why we tip what we tip. David also talks to Saru Jayaraman of “One Fair Wage”, who explains that tipping is a deeply warped version of what Americans brought back from Europe - and that in America tipping has some fairly racist origins - which has led to power imbalances for the 5.5 million Americans that rely on tips. David is encouraged to hear that America is at a tipping point for workers and that there may be a future with a decent minimum wage - as well as tips. Unless you’re one of the 4% of Americans who refuse to tip, ever.

https://armchairexpertpod.com/pods/fb-tipping

Thanks Kiwi. That was a good podcast.

I agree with what JC says.

I rent apartments when I go on holiday. I've been to restaurants with my hosts in France and Germany and they definitely did not tip 10 percent, nor was it common according to them: I don't know why RS or other travel advisors say otherwise.

I lived in England for a few years, on and off, from about 73 to 81, some of that time spent waitering or behind a bar. Tipping was nonexistent or minimal at the time. On a busy pub night, "Have one yourself" would be said by the odd (rare) customer. I haven't visited since 02, and percentage tipping wasn't a standard practice at that time. An accepted custom doesn't mean it's a good thing.

And never mind about 20 or 30 percent. I'm still struggling to remember when the magic number in North America jumped from 10 to 15 percent.