Tell me I'm not alone in this

My obsession is Paris and it is not treatable, except with another visit. Been there 3 years in a row & we are not planning on going next year, which makes me very sad. I dream of buying an apartment in Paris and have looked many times online to see what is available, only to find out that I cannot afford it, unless I win the lottery. I do have a Travel Bucket List on my phone. Some other places, besides Paris, are Ireland, Liverpool and more of England (we've been to London), more of Italy (went to Rome & Venice this year), more of France, Germany (would love to go on a Viking river cruise) and Amsterdam. Oh and Hawaii too and another cruise. I also keep adding to my list.

The problem has been recognized ages ago, with people like Marco Polo and Ibn Battuta as some famous examples. To this day no cure has proven to be effective. Our German friends, masters in expressing the human condition with a single word, call it »Fernweh«: longing for distant places*.
Personally I've not only learned to live with it, but have come to the point I get worried about my mental health when the shortlist gets too short. Lately I've become more and more interested in Central Europe. I've got the Czech Republic high on the list, and want to spend some more time in southern Germany and Austria to explore their baroque and rococo architecture. For a few years I've cycling along the French canals as a plan. Everything is ready for it, including bicycle and maps. Now it's waiting for the moment to take myself seriously.
And I'm exploring my home country. It's ridiculous to have been a week in Angkor, but to know nothing of the world fifty kilometres further on. When the weather is fine, I take a train, have a good long walk, and get a train back home.
At present I've no desire for destinations which involve long hours on a plane. Every year I find it getting a more hateful mode of transport.

*) The Wikipedia article on »Wanderlust«, a closely related term, mentions a link with bipolar disorder. Let's hope it is matter of degree.

When one travels internationally, it's so easy to get comfortable with one city (like Paris) or one region which to me is the Austrian Alps. We've been back through these favorite places time and time again (since 1970), and we're now fighting our desires by visiting only new places.
We're finally approaching "real" retirement age, and we may only have 10-15 years to trek around the world. So we're gettin' it while the gettin's good.
My unvisited wish list is down to Spain and Portugal, Ireland and Scotland. Then, I'll be a happy traveler even if I have to travel "in my mind" after that. Or start traveling to Canada as an option.

OH! I'm not alone!!!!! I'm home 2 weeks from My Way Europe and trying to figure out how to go again! Family members don't understand why I'm not satisfied. My poor husband, who is a hunter, gave up 2 weeks to go on this trip. My problem right now is 1. $$ and 2.I had such a good time on this past trip that I can't find somewhere else I really want to see. If Money was no option it would be different. Yes, I'm 63 and am feeling the clock tick a bit. We stood for hours in lines after our flight out of Rome was cancelled,lines to check into a hotel(250 people having to register?!) and more lines the next day to go back through the whole process again. I was wondering ,could I do this if I was 75? I guess we have a sickness but I can think of much worse!!

I share your obsession.

I feel restless when I do not have a trip in the planning stage.

It would take a miracle and winning the lottery to visit all the places I would like to see. And then, the places that I have been to call me back - a trip to Europe without visiting Paris?! can we ski Austria again, please? Venice needs another visit - with just 3 days I can't really say I am "done" with it :-) So the list did not get shorter by going to these places.

My next trip is skiing in the French Alps and Italy and then a few days in Paris, or Versailles, Rouen, Giverney, Bruges, TBD! Time and money constraints make prioritization vital.

It is a good sickness to live with and I do not want to be cured! I know people who go to the SAME place every year and that is not a life I would enjoy.

Travel while you can!!

" Imagine late at night, a glass of wine, books scattered around you, small notebooks, maps, a fine tip felt pin in 6 colors, post-it flags for the book pages(categorized by color for activities, tours and hotel), your laptop and on line walking directions to the attractions. "

Oh so funny! I don't have to imagine it, I live it. My copy of "1000 Places to See Before You Die" is well-worn and full of highliter marks and post-it flags, as is my "Travel Map of Europe" - places I've been, places I want to see, places I'll only dream of. Of course that's only one of the many travel books (and maps)that are often spread around me.

Most of my bucket list (places that are realistically in my reach financially and physically) has been fulfilled, which is a good thing since I'm 70 now and unfortunately money is getting tight so there will probably only be one more 'big' trip in my future, my last bucket list places - Wales, Channel Islands, Scottish Islands.

But even if the actual trips are over, I'll never stop with the planning and dreaming - who knows, I might still win the lottery. LOL

@ Tamara...I have the same, shall we call it, "predicament"...happily. The travel bug got me my first time over in '71 as a college backpacker, mainly to Germany, and it has never left, the desire for traveling over to Europe. I visit new places and do repeat visits to certain cities, eg, Paris, Berlin, etc. like a pilgrimage. True, the only people/friends who can relate and identify with your so called "obsession" are those likewise infected with the travel bug.

@ tominleiden....What about "Sehensucht nach der Ferne"...one of the themes in German Schlager music.

»Sehnsucht nach der Ferne«
In a schlager rhyming with »Sterne«... Yes, it is the unfounded, but unshakeble conviction that life beyond the next mountain is better.

There will always be a long list of places I would want to go to. I did a round the world trip for a full year and there were still so many places I was never able to fit into that year. It is unlikely I will ever get that kind of time to devote to constant traveling again until I am retired, but when that time comes, I feel like there will be a lot of places I won't be able to experience the way I would want to because of age. Let's be real…how many people in their 70s are going to hike the entire Inca Trail? So there are places on the list that I need to prioritize if I hope to do certain things before it's too late, and then there are other ones that will likely never be able to come to fruition. If time and money were unlimited right now, I would want to spend several years exploring various small islands in the South Pacific and Indian Ocean.

Oh, I love reading about how you guys also suffer from the same disease! I like "Fernweh," thank you for sharing! This is not something I am looking to cure :) I have enjoyed looking over your lists. I feel fortunate to have been able to start traveling early on in my adulthood, as I feel like I have a head start. My family was not at all interested in traveling, and the most we did was a 4 day camping weekend 2 hours from home. I never thought traveling would be possible for me, it was only reserved for the lucky "rich" people. Then I got married at 21 and my husband surprised me with a honeymoon in London that he saved for and won on Priceline back in the day when you could still score good deals there. We were broke, but we made it work and it showed me that everything is a matter of priorities. So now we live cheaply so we can afford to travel and our friends and family who have expensive homes and cars and clothes and who eat out regularly enviously say "it must be nice to be able to do that." I'm hopeful that we have many traveling years ahead of us to see more, but if we don't, I will feel like I don't have any regrets.

Yes, Tamara, you are in good company here!
I have been to Europe 13 times (5 of those were RS tours) and can't wait for my next trip which is as yet undetermined ... so many choices/places to visit.
I would encourage you to find a travel group in your area, either a Rick Steves one or maybe a meet-up group, so that you have people around you who share your passion. When I can't travel myself I do so vicariously through my friends. And we all brainstorm to find ways to make trips work, financially and strategically.
I have 2 friends in Europe now, each on 7 week adventures, and another in Nice in a rented apartment for 2 weeks. All this, of course, whets my appetite ... but in a very good way!
There is no cure for our affliction, just a maintenance regime!
;-)
SharYn

pndldy: I too love the planning, it's what keeps me going between trips! I love reading guidebooks, searching websites, and learning about the history and art and culture. I like going in with a list of things I would like to see and do with the practical info like opening times, location and prices. I prioritize and know I won't see everything, but at least I won't have to waste my precious vacation time looking for that info.

Sharyn: that's my favorite part about Rick Steves' tours - everyone is so like minded and I love sitting around the dinner table and hearing about everyone's past adventures. I have made friends with people we stay in contact with and I can continue traveling vicariously with them.

@ tominleiden....When I say "Sehensucht nach der Ferne" I meant that as a concept, not necessarily to sound similar with "Sterne" even though the implication is the same. You're right about that. Am I a victim of "Sehensucht nach der Ferne"...yes, quite willingly.

Mine is inherited...lol. Both my Mom and her Mom suffered from the same syndrome. If anyone was going somewhere neat, my Mom used to say "Wait a minute and let me get my toothbrush... Oh heck, I'll just buy one there!!" Grandmom used to hop into her black and cream Ford Fairlane 500 and buzz up and down the East Coast in the 50s& 60s. My uncle had a fit when Grandmom confessed she was taking NoDoz to stay awake!!

BTW lying in bed in my Paris hotel working out my next 2 days and in the back of my mind thinking What Next?? The great new Southern England itinerary Rick has? GAS? London and...?? Scotland? Switzerland? Will I still have jet lag in a week after I've been home for a few days or can I make it over to Yellowstone one last time before it snows?

»When I say "Sehnsucht nach der Ferne" I meant that as a concept,«
I know, but in that terrible musical genre of the schlager - or, even worse, in what in Germany is known as »Volksmusik« - it has become a meaningless cliché, invariably rhyming on »Sterne«.
It's a pity that English (nor Dutch, if that is a solace) has an equivalent of »fernweh«. There is »homesick«, but not the opposite »awaysick«. For that irresistible urge to discover the unknown, English had to borrow another German word: »wanderlust«. German is an underappreciated language.

I don't know where my obsession comes from - my parents aren't travelers, aside from some road trips when I was a kid - but it was here by the time I was in seventh grade and wanted to go Greece and Italy. I didn't go that time, but made it to Italy my senior year in high school and then I was hooked.

On Monday I'm leaving for a two-week trip to Amsterdam, Hamburg, and England and I'm already thinking about my next trip. Another poster hit on a dilemma of mine: I want to return to places and see new places too. That's more difficult to balance than I thought. And the more I travel, the more I feel like I haven't been anywhere because there are so many more places to go!

I'm so glad to be part of this community which loves travel. I feel like I have to downplay it in "the real world" with people, including family members, who don't get it. I'm reluctant to give them too much information for fear of being secretly judged.

Place on my wish list include but are not limited to Iceland, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Japan, China, Australia and New Zealand, South Africa, Morocco, Egypt, Peru, Argentina, Antarctica, and Cuba.

I don't really know where my travel obsession came from either. My parents didn't travel (except for road trips to Vermont for vacation and family visits as we were growing up.) Maybe my dad had enough travel when he was in the Navy during WWII. In 1975, when I was 19, I joined the Army specifically with the intention to be stationed in Europe. I saw the Army as the only way I could get out of my very, very small town and money was non-existent. I was in Germany for 2.5 years and traveled throughout Germany while there. I loved, and still love, everything about Europe.
Recently, I have fallen in love with Italy and have gone back for 3 years running. I can't imagine a trip to Europe that doesn't include Italy. But I still don't think I have had enough of any of the other western European countries which makes planning a struggle. Next year my plan is to spend up to 2 months in Europe, but I would love to find a way to go back there to live for a while. It can be done but I am not sure I want to sell my home (which is the only way I see that I can do it). Oh well. Until then, I will be travel obsessed like you. Unfortunately, the PBS travel shows just feed the obsession:).

@ tomfromleiden....Your point is well taken, totally agree. Whether it's "nach der Ferne" or "nach den Sternen" as expressed in Schlager, the desire is the same...to get away by traveling afar.

Tamara,
Great topic! I too have the travel bug and dream of the next trip while I am on one. I was on my second RS tour to Berlin Prague & Vienna this past June and several of my tour companions said the same thing. They were thinking of their next trip!

I have always dreamed of travel but just did not think I could afford it. Then I realized it is a matter of priorities and now my priorities are in order. I intend to do a trip to Europe every year for as long as I can.

To manage the long list of destinations I do as someone mentioned here, keep a list of 4 or 5 favorites. It helps me from becoming too obsessive as I have few friends or family who share the Fernweh! I live vicariously through my friends' trips. They are appreciative and happy to talk about everything they did and saw on their vacation. I don't think many other people are so deeply interested but I am! I'm an avid reader of the trip reports people post on this forum, I really enjoy them.

Okay, my current list of faves:

RS heart of Belgium & Holland
RS Germany Austria & Switzerland
RS Best of Europe in 14 Days
RS Venice Florence & Rome in 10 Days
RS St Petersburg Tallinn & Helsinki
RS Scandinavia in 14 Days

Then return to London & Paris of course and I am sure anywhere in Italy once I have been there.

Thanks for this topic, Tamara.

Judy B

Tamara,
No, you are not alone....far from it!! :)

You didn't ask for advice, but I'll offer up this:

As you work your bucket list of travel destinations, consider doing some of the more difficult trips first...those destinations that will require much longer flights, those locations where you might have to take into considerations certain precautions (such as caution with drinking water, such as Morocco, or places you might have to take more serious immunizations, such as the yellow fever immunization for certain places in Africa).

The reason I suggest that, is as we age, the really long flights can be even more difficult. Those immunizations that may be a piece of cake today could be prohibited for you due to medical issues that might arise later (such as a blood cancer patient cannot take live virus shots until 5 years after cure). None of us knows what is around the corner for us...remember Tony's post about Travel Before It's Too Late.

So, press forward as your time and budget allows, doing what you can while you are on the younger side, and maybe save destinations that might be a bit easier (or those where you can take a simple river cruise) for the end of your bucket list.

But, I have a feeling you will not only accomplish your bucket list of destinations, but also wind up adding to it once you visit all those locations.

Happy and safe travels to you!!

Oh you are SO not alone! Whenever I get home - and we usually stay abroad for 2 months of the year or so - I always think that I'm tired and I won't want to go anywhere for a few years. Just take a break and stay home.
It takes about a week and I'm already plotting my next trip! Once the travel bug bites you, you're doomed!
I also have my favorite spots where I can plunk myself down for a very long time and be perfectly happy and "at home". Paris is on that list as well as southwest France, the English Lake District, and several places in southeast Asia.
I have friends like you do who think we're completely nuts to leave but they also never go any farther from home than our local ski destinations and maybe Las Vegas if they're feeling really adventuresome! Hawaii is a once-in-a-lifetime thing in their minds!
That's why I love this forum...everyone here gets it!

Judy- we loved every minute of the Germany, Switzerland and Austria tour! Every day was stunningly beautiful!

Margaret - thank you for your tip about prioritizing trips based on ability. We are actually trying to get in shape and train to hike the Inca trail to Machu Picchu for that same reason. This is one of my husband's big bucket list items and I know it will get harder to do this sort of trip as the years go on. I hadn't thought about the long flights getting more difficult too, though. I may have to bump New Zealand up our list!

At a recent meeting of Travellers Anonomous ...

"Hello, my name is David, and I'm an Espana-phile. It's been three years since my last visit to Barcelona."

"Hello, my name is Diane. I've been infected with the Travel Bug (called 'Fernweh') and was vaccinated with a gramophone needle. It's been three months since my last trip and three days since I last shared one of my travel stories."
;-)

I love being part of this forum since none of the people I interact with regularly share my love of international travel; they either can't afford it or are scared and don't want to, content with the same beach vacation as you mention. I hit 45 and realized I could afford to travel, was ready to get out there and see the world, and even better, felt comfortable travelling solo. 5 trips later I can't imagine how I went so long without it.

Of the places I've been I'd really like to return to England, Scotland, Estonia, Austria, Poland and Hungary--it's looking like my trip next May will be equal parts Paris and a return to glorious Budapest and forays to other cities in Hungary. Somewhere new and somewhere old.

My wish list is focused on Europe: Belgium, the Netherlands, Germany, Latvia, Lithuania, Bulgaria and Spain. I've done my must-sees so anywhere else I manage to get to is icing on the cake.

Tamara, you are most definitely NOT alone.

My next trip in April/May 2016 will (basically) recreate my last trip in Oct 2011 ;-) And what's worse, we knew this before we even finished that trip!

We thought we had allowed plenty of time to see and do all that we wanted, but we didn't quite check everything off our list. One can't possibly see all there is to see and experience in Italy in a lifetime, but we want to get to a point so that we can see other regions we've never visited or seen too little of. Italy is difficult to work into a trip to Norway or Northern Germany, so we'll tie up some loose ends next year.

Except for our week on Sorrento (yes, we're returning there next year), the other five locations were all REPEATED repeats (sigh). We find it so difficult to not return to our Old Favorites. We DO love discovering new places; our first trip was a 5-week (fairly) whirlwind trip, and I loved every minute of it. Well, except for my one major meltdown in Venice, but that wasn't my fault; nothing that pizza and beer couldn't fix ;-)

And our list of undiscovered (by us) places? Sooooooo long...and getting longer every day. Time is NOT on our side :-(

We promise to do better...just not on our next trip ;-P

The only treatment is shock therapy, which consists of looking at a calendar and realizing there are not enough days for the places. It's a painful treatment and has a low cure rate. It is most beneficially administered with cost therapy, which is even more painful.

I also like to go back to places I've fallen in love with, and add new ones. My annual trip is now 89 days long, and I am looking at 23 days every winter (semester break).

I agree about shock therapy! Start to travel when you are young if you can. It's hard with a family etc, but I can relate to wanting to do things while I still am mobile. It's just that dang $$ and the fact my husband is still working and can't be gone more than 12 days. He has to order product and his store is too small to be able to do it online. That's a killer for me. I'm afraid when we can go longer our wheelchairs won't fit on the trails of the Cinque Terre =+

Laughing at shock therapy! Yep, just experienced it in both London and Paris in the last few weeks...did NOT allow enough time even though I was in both last year. I also accidentally clicked in to my brokerage account while I was gone and it was at a low...gulp...will not do that again, but trip was already paid for so what the heck.

Chriss, you just need to send hubby home and continue for another week or so on your own! I met up with a friend last year in Paris who did just that after a trip to Spain. Her DH needed to get back to work and she needed to go to Paris, lolol!! We had a great time!

Travel obsession--yep! I have always loved to travel and think the love of experiencing new places, people, and cultures was instilled in me by my mother. She also loved to travel but her travel was limited to the States. For many years felt like "Why on earth would anyone want to travel out of this country when we are fortunate to live in a vast beautiful place?" While that is true, the USA is beautiful and has so much to offer and is big enough to house such different regions with diverse people and cultures, I had always wanted to experience Europe "just once". A couple of years ago we decided that if we were ever going to do it, the time was now. We were semi retired, our children were all through college, and we still were not depending on savings. We decided that we could get a taste of several countries by taking a Mediterranean cruise with brief stops in France and Spain with added time in the country of my husbands heritage, Italy. Wow!! The entire experience was beyond words. But our one time trip to Europe did nothing to satisfy my desire to travel. Before our plane touched down back in the States we were already talking of a return trip. There was just so much that we still wanted to see. So this year we took the plunge and scheduled a RS tour of Southern Italy. There is just something about Italy that draws us back. We had always felt that bus tours were for people when they were older and unable to navigate on their own. Boy were we wrong!! We enjoyed a well planned, trip that allowed us to personalize our adventure, and at the same time we met and shared the experience with some wonderful likeminded people.
Again we said that that would be our last trip to Europe, but here we are planning another trip for next year. This time we plan to visit the Central Europe where my ancestors are from. But I totally get the desire to return to previously visited areas. I so want to visit Central Europe, but at the same time I feel saddened at the thought of not returning to Italy! We still enjoy traveling in the States and have taken a couple of weeklong trips here since coming home. I just don't think there is a cure for this obsession, but like it was said, you just have to feed it!

Pam!!! I love the idea but not going to work!!!!! Good thought though! thanks!! It is an obsession. I too thought ,one and done, I saw what i wanted to see. Geez! I guess there could be worse things. I'm glad my hubby wants to go, just not too long!

Hello Tamara. Yes, I think I would like to be at various other places on the Earth : the Cook Islands at the south Pacific Ocean, and South Africa. But, I can not go to all of those places. Therefore, I am thinking about going to Europe again, and I put the other countries out of my mind. I am trying to think about Europe, only. I went on seven trips to Europe or Britain, but I did not go to most of the countries in Europe. In my next trip to Europe, I wish to go to several countries in Europe. That will probably not happen. If my next trip will be to one or two countries in Europe, I will be satisfied. And that would probably be my last trip to Europe. My age is now 63, and I do not have much money. Looking at video travelogues helps me to feel better. I saw all of the videos of Rick Steves in Europe, from PBS Television and from DVDs and video tapes. And I saw many of the videos of Rudy Maxa in Europe, and Burt Wolf's videos from PBS Television. I should mention that I was privileged to travel to seven countries at East Asia, including the Philippines which is really not at the Asia countinent. I resided and worked in south Korea, and Thailand, a very long time ago. And I had two good vacation trips to Hawaii. And I was a resident in the northern half of California, many years. The only thing at California that I miss is the Pacific Ocean.
Tamara, where is your home ? (What state ?)

@ Christa....Lithuania, one of my (long term ? ) travel goals too. One can take the 20 plus hour ferry to Klaipeda from Germany, ie, from Kiel. That's how I plan on getting there.

Hi Ron, it sounds like you've had quite a number of adventures! We live in Florida.

It is definitely comforting to be among people who have the same way of looking at life! Most people can't understand it... so just realize you are in the minority.
I travel whenever I can and usually on a shoestring... but I don't regret one moment of it and give up lots of other things to be able to travel... I have visited many locations multiple times because I love them so much, but also try to add lots of new places... the problem is I fall in love with most of them:)

A new sofa just doesn;t give me the same comfort as memories of a trip!!!!

There are dreams and plans.
My dreams tend to the emptiness of Central Asia, with all the romantic associations which come with it. Following the Great Chinese Wall is one of those totally irrealistic ideas, which stay in the dream category.
For next year there are concrete plans for two trips. All within Europe. For the foreseeable future I have decided to skip air travel as much as possible. Every year I am beginning to hate it more. And there is the environmental issue.
One is to start in Bologna, which was the end of our Umbria trip, and take the train back home in Turin (I just happened to check it: some 10 hrs by TGV and Thalys for a reasonable EUR 125).
The second is to have two weeks in Czechia. The itinerary is already printed and safely put at the back of a Rough Guide. I have to figure out the rail connections from home and back.
PS. I couldn't resist checking it. Can very well be done with a night in Leipzig. According to the Deutsche Bahn less then EUR 150 for two days of train pleasure. (Another time the return trip.)

Terry Kathryn - "I have visited many locations multiple times because I love them so much, but also try to add lots of new places... the problem is I fall in love with most of them". We seem to have that same problem!

Hello Tamara ! You said your home is in Florida. In my previous reply here I intended to say : I was a resident in Florida : at Bradenton (at the Gulf of Mexicao coast) for two years - 2009 to 2011. I was there for the purpose of helping my elderly mother until she died.

We used to start planning our next destination on the plane trip home from our just-ended trip. Now we've started planning 2 trips ahead! ;-)

There's No Place Like Home, but taking off for a while to see the big, wide world is pretty good, too!