Splitting the Check

We had dinner with friends who visited us this summer in Bordeaux, and the wait staff was happy to present each couple with its own check. Not sure what that proves, either, but maybe someone will find it useful.

When we needed to do this during a trip with family members, we ran into no problem at all about having separate checks. What we did find, with some family members having multiple requests for substitutions, special orders, wanting the salad first, and being generally picky about the food not being like "home" (the US), was that the staff (often the family of the proprietor) were a bit irritated. Their smile was frozen. I didn't blame them at all. They made the (many) accomodations, but I was kind of embarrassed. This was an adult, not a kid, who was so very demanding.

This turned out to be a problem in Matera, Italy, on the Rick Steves Southern Italy tour. It might just have been that particular restaurant, but they refused to do separate checks for 3 couples and 1 single. Trying to untangle the bill ourselves was a chore. Easier among friends, but we were basically strangers.

I'll add that it's been quite easy in many other locations in Europe.

For apps, I’ve been using the free version of Splitwise when one of my daughters travel with me. (I pay our lodging; everything else we’re both paying our own.)

It works well pre-trip while I’m buying activity reservations or purchasing both of our flights. During the trip, we flip who is paying for meals, etc. when the app says one is about €100 more than the other person. We have similar eating habits, so we’re not keeping track of who ate what at a meal.

@Judy, whew, that is one experience I would be avoiding for future meals & trips! I’d seriously rather eat alone than with someone who is being insensitive to restaurant owners & staff. And if their home country food is better (ha!), why are they traveling? ; ).

@LizinPA, thanks for the reminder to have an idea of what my order amount will be during my upcoming RS Prague/Budapest tour. (I can take a photo of the menu.). I ordered some cash, although I usually pay with ApplePay. I figured it would be easier when eating with someone else to have the option to give them cash if we’re unable to split a dinner bill.

Yes, Jean, a good reminder to myself, too!
I haven't been getting much cash on my recent trips, and my next trip is Greece. The article posted by the OP mentions Greece being problematic.

I’d seriously rather eat alone than with someone who is being insensitive to restaurant owners & staff.

Judy and Jean - a million times this !! (I would like to think this is how I always felt and acted - but since I have now been married for 18 years to a guy who works in a restaurant to make his living, I am perhaps overly sensitive.)

Splitwise sounds like it would have been a great option for me and m'y sister-in-law when we spent a week together in August with her daughters / my nieces. Then again, I was happy to subsidize their trip in a teeny tiny way by helping pay the way for more than just "my" share of lodging. But a good tip to keep in mind for the future.

My 2 travel mates and I had the same issue in Romania where they would not (or could not?) split the check. Sometimes if we asked, the server would divide the check for each person and you would pay the specific amount. It was a bit cumbersome, though, because the three of us had to figure out what we each got and then factor in the tip and then let the server know the exact amount each of us were paying. The server would then run it through the machine, and we would pay our separate amount owed.

But there were a few times when the server was not able to do that, so usually one of us would pay with a credit card, and the other two would reimburse the payer with cash. It got a little confusing at times, but it all worked out in the end. 😊

Back in the days of cash when I went on holiday with friends we just used a kitty for food and group expenses. Everyone would pay the same amount in at the start of the trip and as necessary to top it up throughout the trip. The money was then used to pay the bill at the end of a meal or for drinks. If someone chose to have something particularly expensive they would add a bit extra but it basically worked itself out.

Not so easy to do with credit cards.

If I’m splitting the bill with friends we don’t ask the restaurant for separate bills. We just ask for, as an example, to pay £20 on this card, £20 on this one and the remainder on a third card. That’s easy to do.

Jean, I havent seen splitting a bill as a huge problem in Budapest. But you tell the waiter when you order, not after. I guess I am just contrary to average. If its a group of friends, I pay for everyone (once). Next time around one of them will pick it up; or not, doesnt matter. If someone does want to split a bill I suggest reimbursing one person by dividing the total by the number of people. Sometimes you get a deal, sometimes you sbusidize someone. Again, its not going to kill me either way. If someone else picks up the tab, I always do the tip.

If you want to carry cash for reimbursments at meals then the person paying ends up with a lot of forints. Pay them in USD at 1.000 ft = $3 and you are close enough for government work.

If you feel more comfortable with cash in your pocket go to an ATM and withdraw 19.000 fts. Thats $57 more or less, but it gives you a 10.000 ft note ($30) and at 5.000 ft note ($15) and four 1.000ft notes ($3 each). Use the 10.000 note first so you have even more small bills. What every you dont spend you take to Kadarka Wine Bar, put it in an evelope with my name on it and hand it to Zoltan.

Honestly, we quit splitting checks quite a while ago. Like Jean We download aSplitwise on our phone and whoever pays for it logs in what was paid and splits it out amongst the group either evenly or if one of us had something more expensive we all handle that and then at the end we settle up

it gives us a running total, so we can kind of rotate back-and-forth on who’s paying and figure out when we’re breaking even. The last time we did this for a trip to Paris we literally came to within $100 of being dead even on what we spent

It may not be exact.but you know if you’re going to be upset over a few bucks you probably shouldn’t be traveling with someone else

The other thing, my friend and I’ve done is just handed them 2 credit cards and said split it down the middle. I’ve never had anybody anywhere in the world object to that, but you have to be willing to go with the split not well she had a glass of wine. It was three euros more than mine so I want you to charge 21 to me and 24 to her

In the good old days in Austria and Germany, when going to a stube as a group, the waitperson
would log all the orders on paper, and when it came time to pay, would go to each person and
mark off the items, add up their portion of the bill, and settle individually (in cash). This was
predicated on the practice that the waiter actually "bought" the food from the kitchen, and
then was reimbursed, so to speak, by the customers. The waitperson carried around a fairly
massive leather "wallet" from which they made change.

In the present period of little cash, we do as Carol does:

just handed them 2 credit cards.

We have not had any complaints from waitstaff. It's a straight split with no bother of who ate what.

If in the US with my daughter, we just Venmo each other more exact figures. Otherwise, the above system prevails.

”What every you dont spend you take to Kadarka Wine Bar, put it in an evelope with my name on it and hand it to Zoltan.”

Sounds like a good plan, Mr. E! Your advice in the travel forum has been worth that gesture! : )

As shoeflyer has mentioned, the way that was always done in Germany and Austria was a notepad carried by the waiter/bartender and a massive change wallet. Or, those coasters that your pils is sitting on, check that for your tab. Often it gets marked there. Somehow at the end of the night they would remember each customers orders.
If you are travelling as a hoard, the best thing to do is to have one person settle the bill for the table and then work the split out amongst yourselves. If everyone is paying cash, this is fairly simple. It gets complicated wen people want to use their point cards and start sweating conversion rates. Otherwise, work this out before you place your orders.

I guess I am just contrary to average. If its a group of friends, I pay for everyone (once). Next time around one of them will pick it up; or not, doesnt matter.

This is exactly what I do.

I handle it much like Frank II. I have lunch with a couple of brothers every so often. I'll get the check one time, one of them the next. Same with former co-workers. Doesn't matter where we eat, that's just the way we do it and it's not a big deal. Not sure why it wouldn't work with traveling companions on a trip.

That is indeed something highly dependent on the local culture and laws/regulations.
Germany and Austria still work like prescribed if you pay cash, and sometimes ask otherwise - but since CC are only used by US tourists (locals have debit cards or in very urban/modern places apps) the practice of splitting a bill to several cards is possibly just not known.
In Italy or Greece, on the other hand, it is extremely uncommon and even in the days of cash a waiter would take one pile of money per table only…

Last night I was having dinner in a fairly nice place in Budapest. There was a group of 6 sitting next to me. At the end one asked for the bill and the waiter asked if they wanted it split or together. So it happens "in Europe". But not as common as in the US. Never hurts to ask. But ask before ordering.

since CC are only used by US tourists (locals have debit cards or in very urban/modern places apps) the practice of splitting a bill to several cards is possibly just not known

Someone needs to explain to me why having debit cards rather than credit cards would have any influence on splitting checks.

I really didn't observe any resistance to check splitting in Europe; I saw it several times, including occasions with European diners. I think it must simply be a cultural thing that most Europeans don't wish to inconvenience the wait staff. Admirable, if true.

jphbucks I might be mistaken but the process of splitting an amount to several cards percentage wise sounds different to just splitting items. That is what I meant - but I am not an expert..

Someone needs to explain to me why having debit cards rather than credit cards would have any influence on splitting checks.

I believe Gödel's proof in his incompleteness theorem demonstrates that any sufficiently powerful and consistent formal system of check splitting will contain true statements that cannot be proven within that system if both credit and debit cards are used. Or is that Heisenberg thingy about the cats being both for and against tipping in cash? No matter, the point is somebody has to pay bill and it may as well be somebody other than me.

Ho Ho Ho. Happy thanksgiving!

jphbucks, splitting a check "in Europe" is probably a lot like tipping "in Europe". Never happens. As for the credit card vs bank card, I guess the message is that "in Europe" there are no credit cards. Funny thing though, my European Bank Card says VISA on it and I challenge any waiter to know if its just a bank card or a credit card. Well, except there are no credit cards "in Europe".

jphbucks, splitting a check "in Europe" is probably a lot like tipping "in Europe". Never happens.

Several posters have already proven this to be untrue. I'm not sure what the quotation marks are about.

Obviously Europe comprises many different cultures with distinctly different cultural norms. That awareness should overlie everyone's thinking when visiting a new country (or in some cases, a different region in the same country). What's suitable in Paris might well be unsuitable in Hamburg, or even in Nantes. And we should remember that the size of the city and the prevalence of foreign tourists also plays a part in defining common commercial practice.

I don't think it had ever occurred to me before this thread that asking the restaurant to account for what everyone in a given party had to eat and drink and supplying them each a bill was a thing. I've never see that done. It took me a while to cotton on to that's what "splitting the check" in American parlance was. That seems like a bit of an imposition to me. Maybe other British people have seen it happen over here?

I think some UK places may be able to do separate bills if pressed but increasingly unlikely the larger the group is.

In more casual places where ordering can be done by app (or even over a bar) everyone can do this individually but things won't come out together.

Splitting the payment where people pay varying amounts towards a single bill by card is probably going to work but worth checking maybe.

Frank,
To me splitting the check and separate checks are two different things. Separate checks mean the server prepares a separate order for one person or couple or family, and another for a person or couple or family who are sharing the table. Splitting the check means just that, dividing the bill by two or three for payment. By requesting separate checks before ordering you are not creating a big difficulty for the server. It is as if your parties were at two separate tables. It just requires you to be clear when ordering which meal goes on which check, easily done by each party doing all their ordering at one time, then the other party ordering their meals.
We haven't had to do this often, just a few times when traveling with some relatives. We haven't encountered any difficulties at the restaurants, as we have been clear at the outset when ordering that they are separate checks . If we have split the checks, it has been to charge half on one CC and half on another, without trying to calculate who had a dessert or wine, etc. Just an even split.

Several posters have already proven this to be untrue. I'm not sure
.... etc

jphbucks, you said it perfectly. I wish i were as eloquent and succinct as you.

Separate checks mean the server prepares a separate order for one person or couple or family, and another for a person or couple or family who are sharing the table. ... By requesting separate checks before ordering you are not creating a big difficulty for the server. It is as if your parties were at two separate tables. It just requires you to be clear when ordering which meal goes on which check, easily done by each party doing all their ordering at one time, then the other party ordering their meals.

That sounds like a real pain. It's possibly workable for the initial order, maybe, but what then about a second glass of wine, or a dessert, which are typically ordered 'along the way'. "Another glass of Burgundy on 'my' tab, please" ...? In the US, the waiter is getting a healthy tip so expecting them to do all this bookkeeping is at least 'paid for', but in Europe, where tipping is reduced/non-existent, I'd be uncomfortable doing it. The most I've ever done is ask for a bill to be split 50/50 and handing them 2 cards, but that's only in the US. In Europe, I always carry sufficient cash to cover such events.