splitting meals in France?

Not to excuse the rudeness, but the waiter's attitude may have had to do with the fact that it was a three course meal.

Here in Europe restaurants frequently offer deals where you get 2 or 3 courses selected from the menu for a set price. The prices are set with the assumption that the courses will be eaten by one person, not split between two people. So the 2/3 course menu is meant for people who will eat the course, and if you just want one course, you order it alone. The idea that the deal is for those who have more than one course - like a buy two, get one free deal.

If everyone split three course meals, it wouldn't be economical for the restaurant to offer the deal. Yes restaurants are out to make money, but that's kind of the point - they have bills and employees to pay.

I also second the fact that portions tend to be smaller here, so sharing is not nearly so common.

Kat

It is not hard to explain --- it is not as culturally accepted as it is in the US. Portion size in Europe has traditionally been smaller, therefore, the need to split less compeling. It is just a difference. Another example of applying Am culture to a European sitting and being surprised. Another is eating pizza -- rarely see European eating pizza with their fingures -- always knife and fork.

Sharing a meal is not customary just as you wouldn't ask for a doggie bag in France. Just not part of the culture.
I don't think there is ever any cause for the waiter to be rude , however, when it comes to your choice of meals.

I didn't have any problems splitting meals in Nice. Two of us had only one bowl of clams.The waiter was fine.
Maybe the rudeness comes from the fact that they want tourist to spend more money.
I agree. It is rude in Europe to use your hands to eat.
Well, in more fancier restaurants in the USA is rude to use your hands as well.

Thank you all for your kind replys regarding splitting meals.To clarify we did agree to pay the xtra amount they requested without any disagreement. But they still were very rude all through our meal.

Wonder if a little bit of your attitude was reflected back by the waiter. My experience with the French is that they are very reciprocal. I may be reading between the lines but you started this post with, ,,,, someone explain the prob,,,, touch aggressive ??? As travelers we always need be aware of and accommodating of cultural differences. You should be aware that the Fench put great value and emphasis on the dining experience. I would have explained to the waiter that I was interested in light meal and asked his assistance for what would be appropriate rather than assume I could split a meal. I don't even assume that in better restaurants in the US. You didn't indicate how he was rude. Again it could be some cultural differences in how service is delivered. On the hand he may have thought you were rude, cheap, American tourists. Who knows??? All part of the travel experience.

Europeans seem to be rude in the eyes of Americans, because they don't smile all the time like Americans, especially to strangers. They might ask you, for exemple in a store, what are looking for, but still don't smile like in the US.
I reently went shopping in Rome,to the more expensive stores, and I did not see a smile on any of the staff's face.They were nice when I asked them to look for a different size, but still no smile.
Good Customer service is priority no. uno in the US, but not in Europe.Well, I call it "fake" ,because it doesn't come from the heart, but as part of the job.

But the fact remains that a customer purchased the food and should be able to do with as they please...sharing it, eating it, or pitching it in the trash can. You've paid for it; it's yours.

But Tim, remember that you are also paying for the privilege of dining there. And restaurant food is not quite the product you imply: when you dine in a restaurant, you are paying for "a service" as much, if not more, than the actual food. You are paying to be fed a good meal in the ambiance more than you are paying for the actual pieces of food on your plate. It's a different mind set, and that's an important part of traveling: learning to appreciate the differences and respecting them for what they are. Let's think about it in a different (yet similar) way: if you were invited to a dinner party, would you bring an uninvited guest and inform the host that you would be sharing your portion of the meal? That the uninvited guest would have the salad and you would eat the main course and you would split the dessert? Of course not. It wouldn't be acceptable. And no, you're not paying for the food at a dinner party, but the restaurant staff are still your hosts. We need to respect them too.

Tim, that is a sad response. It is a typical, arrogant attitude often associated with American tourists: "I bought it, I own it, screw you !!!" I have an obligation as a traveler to respect both other people and other cultures. I am there to learn, to observe, and, hopefully, develop a better understanding of their world. I am not there to impose my standards no matter how superior I believe my standards to be.

Amen, Frank.

I had thought previous posters had well explained appropriate restaurant behavior, and thought to mention that they shouldn't take personal offense if a waiter was less than polite. I read enough restaurant reviews to know that poor service can happen to anyone....BUT the above man who did the " i pay, i deserve" speech...encouraged me to comment that Please and Thank you, even in English work well in many countries...But one should avoid "Gimme"..I have recently heard "Gimme the head phones in English!!!"...and "Gimme the fried eggs!"....We just had a short time in Poland this month and i was to lazy to learn Please and Thank you in Polish...so i wrote the word in Polish on the palm of each hand...Silly yes, but it earned smiles and language lessons...

I think restaurants are allowed to set up their own set of rules, even if we don't like them. But if I want an extra service, such as splitting my meal, I will never pay extra.I will just get up and leave.
There are restaurants in Eastern Europe where you have to order food in order to drink. I don't agree with this "rule", and I don't dine in these type of restaurants.

During our visit of 8 countries we found the waiters in France very rude. Same in Montreal. Needless to say we saved on our meals in France and had cheese, bread, fruits and pastries during the remainder of our stay in France.

I'm always surprise to hear that people had an experience where they felt the waiters were rude in France. In the 4 trips (about 5 weeks total) that I've made there, I cannot remember ever having an experience where I felt the waitstaff was unfriendly.

Dining is definitely an experience where culture comes into play. I remember my German teacher talking about how rude she thought the wait staff was when she first arrived in the U.S. They would come to the table and say "Hi, my name is Bob" and stop by every 5 minutes and say, "How is everything." We call that good service in the U.S. (although I find the hovering annoying at times) but in many European countries interrupting someone while they are dining or bringing the bill before someone asks for it is just plain rude.

I agree with Laura, I have spent approx 12 weeks in France over the last 8 years and have never had a waiter be rude to me. I did have one not take my order until I was able to say it in French, but he helped me and we had a lot of fun. I have also had a waiter talk the kitchen into heating something up for us in a cafe after the kitchen had closed beacaus we had just arrived back in Paris after travelling the country side and were starving. I have also travelled to many countries and have found the French to be just as pleasant and friendly esecially when it concerns food.

I am in Laura and Iisa's camp. We have spent nearly 300 days in Europe over the past 15 years or so with hundreds of meals. Only had a hand full where I thought service was marginal and with one exception it appeared that there was only one waiter for the whole place. What I find interesting from these and other postings is that some folks always seem to have problems with bad service, rude waiters, unfriendly clerks, etc., AND then I wonder if maybe they should look in the mirror.

I think a lot of it is the expectation from Americans that service staff in other countries follow the college age bouncy perky Katie Couric Hi My Name is... I'll be your server tonight, I have no idea what the special is or what the ingredients are in fact I don't even know the chef's name and the busboy will come fill your drinks I'll just annoy you every 5 minutes asking you are you okay and then you leave me a 20% tip, rather than the European attitude that service jobs are a profession and the older men and women that oocupy them are in a career rather than a 8 month stint at Red Lobster. We're not used to the style of service in Europe and as Europeans don't adopt the casual first name basis of instant best friends that we do in the U.S., their quiet manner can be interpreted as rude.

Regarding American expectations of service and quoting my daughter who is in Strasbourg for the year: "I love the French. I feel like everyone’s more...real here. They don’t smile all the time like Americans, or apologize all the time, but if you need help, they will take so much time to make sure they’re helping you as much as possible. So many little things have kept me happy over the past two days, like the man at the electronics store drawing me a detailed map so that I could find a different electronics store to buy something that wasn’t at his store...Basically, if you ask for help, you are guaranteed to get 5+ minutes of the person’s time while they help you to the fullest extent. I feel like time just isn’t as much of a priority here. People wait in long lines, take time out of their lunch hour to help me, want to have long conversations with strangers. It’s very cool."

Some of the European customes are only found in the uS in the fancier restaurants, such as:
-Serving the lady first
-holding the fork in the left hand and knife in the right hand vs, switching silverwear every 10 seconds.
- as others said annoyance. I hate when the waiter comes to me every 3-4 minutes and ask me something.
A few years ago I dined at a fancy restaurant by Hopkins airport in Cleveland, oH and the waitress who was very pregnant came to us with abig plate on get big belly and asked us : "what do you want?"
I consider this a very unmannered way to speak. in such restaurant I would expect to be asked:" What would you like".
Othere things that Europeans consider rude are: using a toothpick at the table, talking loud, moving plates around the table. However I myself consider this behaviour rude as well.
Also Americans expect Europeans to speak English and they don't ask first if a particulat person speaks English and Europeans don't like this.
Bea