solo traveler--how to make friends if not staying in a hostel?

I travel alone and stay in a tiny Easyhotel. It was just by chance that I made friends there before I went to London.

I met some people through a Facebook group for a British TV show I love. When tickets came out for a live taping at the BBC, that gave me an excuse to go back to London. I met up with these friends at the BBC and we got along great (and also met the cast of the show since these friends are avid fans and friends of the cast as well), and then I went back to London last year and got together with these friends yet again 3 different times during my trip.

It was fun going out all day alone and doing my own touristy things and then at night meeting up for a drink, or dinner and shopping. We also met up with one of the castmates Sheridan again from the Brit show we saw, since the girl I was shopping with texted Sheridan who was nearby rehearsing for the musical Legally Blonde.

I even saw Rocky Horro on stage with a friend and his wife, in Windsor. I was going there anyhow so they got me a ticket beforehand and met them at a pub before going to the show.. I really do love travelling alone but it is nice to sit in a pub and have a drink and talk to people once in a while.

I am looking forward to meet more friends in new places the same way, for whatever country I visit next!

Go where other solo travelers might be......I've met people while taking walking tours, waiting in line, and just about anyplace travelers go.

You have to take the initiative. Waiting for someone to talk to you could take a long time.

It is easier than you think. I have found strangers tend to talk to you more when you are alone than if you are traveling with a friend or signficant other. As a woman, you will get a certain amount of men approaching you that have more in mind than friendship (sporting a wedding ring doesn't always stop them). It's easy to figure out what it is they are looking for. But not all men are like that, so don't close yourself off to some harmless conversation. You will meet more locals being out and about solo. And other solo travelers tend to cross paths with you quite a bit since you are all there to see the same things.

I met many great solo travelers by taking short day tours outside of big cities and then met up later for dinners. I've met local residents in laundromats or on buses and had them take me to their favorite pubs or shopping experiences with them later on during my visit. I once had a fellow art lover chat me up at a museum and we wound up having coffee immediately after leaving the museum and dinner the next night. Some people I have kept in touch with over the years, and some I have not.

You might try to connect with others before you even leave the U.S. - maybe try a website like CouchSurfing.org (you don't have to stay over someone's house, there are plenty of locals willing to meet you for a drink or to show you their town). Or just post something here on the Graffiti Wall under 'Travel Partners Wanted' saying you'd like to meet fellow travelers for dinner or sightseeing while you are in Europe.

Be a motormouth. Talk to everybody you come across: at breakfast, in lines, the list is endless. Be spontaneously nice/polite.

On a solo trip a while back, I hiked with a gal for a couple of days that I met on a trail in Wales. Last year my wife and I went back and spent time with her and her husband.

There's a guy who runs a bakery in Paris. I've known him since he was a small boy. I knew his dad since I used to show up before he opened, go in the back , and bat the breeze until the first batch was done. His dad was like an uncle to my daughter when she was getting situated for her year abroad. He's since died, but every time I can, I go bang on the back door and spend an hour or so with the 'kid' and his son.

Three years ago we were in Madrid, liked the place we ate in and went back the next night. It was a small place in front (half-dozen tables), continued the conversation of the night before with the waiter/partner. Found out that the next day was mother's day for them and they were working like mad to get the tables set up in the huge rear complex. We spent three hours helping, toting stuff up from the cellar, etc. His daughter spent a week with us last year.

A long time ago I grabbed a falling supporting pole in a souk stall in Beurit which a cart had hit. We got it fixed with him crawling up my back and standing on my shoulders. We wrote back and forth for several years, but I lost track of him the last time the place went to hell.

We met a Japanese couple in one of the Italian hill towns when I helped her get the carriage down some steps while the father was busy hearding other kids. We traveled together for a few days and susbsequently spent a while in Orlando with them.

There are unknown more, but the topper was a Chinese fellow I met on a solo lash-up in Terra del Fuego last November. He insisted I come see him -- in Harbin. Went with a buddy in February. Temp was minus umpteen bazillion. In the future I will be rude.

I go for walking tours and I meet lots of people through couchsurfing. You don't need to stay at their place, and there is an option on the site to meet for coffee/drinks. it is great to get the chance to hang out with locals and they will show you around too! Never met a "creepy" person and some of my best travel memories are through people I met this way!

You don't have to stay in group rooms at a hostel, as they usually have private rooms too, and they can also be secure. Another option is staying in a B&B or pension in whatever city you are going to. Tons of them out there, you not only meet the owners, but perhaps other guests.

Someone else suggested walking tours, and I agree that this is a great way to meet other travelers. The tour guide might even have some tips on places to go.

Post your dates and places of travel here, maybe someone else will be there at the same time. I know I enjoy meeting people from this board when they come to Frankfurt. Over on Trip Advisor, the same thing. Met up with folks visiting the Christmas Market last year. People on Fodors also meet up with each other while visiting other cities.

Chat people up. I strike up conversations all the time with visitors when I am on the train or waiting for a bus. One has to be open for it though. I don't know how many times I have spoken to people who looked like they were lost and I have offered help. Half the time, they just shake their heads and turn away. Why they do this, I don't know, but it does seem a tad rude. Heck, I have even smiled and said good morning to people (obvious N.Americans) and had them turn away! I don't look like a gypsy nor a beggar, but the fear of a scam makes them lose out on meeting someone. Maybe I should start a new thread about this?

Go to a TI or tourist info. office, they can give you guidance for the city you are staying in. Some hostels also have pvt rooms perhaps solving your ques.

My husband is a smoker and always makes friends on vacation out smoking with others. Always. I go out looking for him, and he has made a new friend with someone halfway across the country/world, also braving the elements for a smoke. He's also met people when he steps out for a drink, the few times he has done that. It's probably also his open personality and his willingness to talk to new people.

As others have said you can stay in single rooms in hostels. But there are other ways, I found the easiest way to meet people is to take tours, walking tours like Paris Walks etc and day trip tours as well. I met lots of great people on these trips, and we would often go out for dinner and drinks afterwords. Consider popping into some hostel lobbies, even if you are not staying there as they often organize and or advertise and have phamplets on these group activities as well as having pub crawl nights etc.

I had to laugh when Jo wrote, "but the fear of a scam makes them lose out on meeting someone. Maybe I should start a new thread about this?" In Montmartre we were rather aggressively accosted by a woman in her 80's. We'd just run the gauntlet of African bracelet sellers, so maybe were rather more suspicious. This older woman wanted to show us different landmarks, and she was terrific. We had a great half English half French conversation. But since she was so overtly friendly, at first, I did keep an eye out for any cohorts lurking in the bushes.

Not everyone will be your friend, and not every friendly encounter will lead to dinner. Just be open yourself, and enjoy what you get from it.

I think the hardest part for Americans, if not meeting fellow travelers at a hostel or tour, is letting your guard down to accept overatures. As Jo stated, many Europeans can be very friendly and welcoming, but it takes faith in people to make it work. Given the amount of consternation here about pickpockets and staying safe from crime and scams, it's easy to see why it's hard for many to meet people.

Many restaurants have group tables or tables set very close to each other. Try talking to the people sitting near you.

Tracy,

I find the best method is simply to talk to people. I'm normally a bit shy at home, but when I travel I become very outgoing. For example, this afternoon I started chatting with a young couple from Belgium while riding a Funicular in Lugano, Switzerland. We had coffee together and ended up touring together for the better part of the afternoon.

It's really not that hard to meet people, whether in a Hostel setting or otherwise. The situation might be slightly different for me, as I'm a somewhat older male traveller. As someone else mentioned, other people will more readily approach a single traveller.

Happy travels!

thanks everyone, that's actually very reassuring. i am very outgoing at home--almost to a fault (example--telling strangers at an indian buffet what paneer is...) i regularly eat at restaurants and attend shows by myself (i write theater reviews, so i have to do this)--and i always talk to people. i suppose i don't know why i thought it would be so different in another country--aside from the whole language barrier. i guess i've been reading too many travel memoirs about slightly younger than me (and slightly more attractive and unmarried) 'kids' traveling around, having a blast in hostels, and i pictured myself in a hotel room all alone (ok--i blame the book 'the lost girls'--it is a great read, but definitely does not embody the kind of trip i'm taking--though it sounds like it was a lot of fun!) again, thanks for the reminder that what i am at home i will be away.

@Ken--as for your 'older man' stance, i'm a somewhat frumpy, married woman, so i definitely don't come off as threatening, either! ;-)