Solo travel as a married person

I think that is going to depend entirely on you and your husband. I solo travel once a year, typically on horseback riding vacations. Granted, my husband doesn’t care to spend a week on a horse, but he is totally supportive and takes care of our farm and horses back home when I travel. It works for us. We choose something we both would like to see and do for partnered vacations.

Thanks, Kathy! I think I’m honestly more worried that I won’t enjoy myself as much as I once did without him. It’s proving hard for me to predict that. I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy myself but there’s still this niggling anxiety….

But Paris is one of my happy places, so there is that!

It is just 8 days and that first one is jet lagged; it is also possible you may enjoy the solo trip equally or more than if your husband was with you. Consider that married people have to travel away from as part of their jobs.

My husband and I sometimes don’t have the same vacation schedules. So I travel solo to Europe quite regularly. I love my trips. I FaceTime with my husband once a day and it works out beautifully. We are married 18 years. I’m traveling solo to Germany in late September for 10 days. Right now, we are on vacation together in Montréal.

Thanks for the additional responses. I’m glad you enjoy your solo trips, Continental! I’ve sung the praises of solo travel for years; I just haven’t done it for awhile! And while my husband sometimes travels for work, I don’t.

You’ve given me food for thought. I’m pretty close to pulling the trigger.

My wife and I have been married for 21 years and we regularly take trips without one another. My most recent one was four weeks hiking around Arizona, Nevada and southern California. I loved it, she less so because she was at home working, walking the dogs and feeding the kids! She's since had a cruise with her sister and gone on two separate trips to Spain with a friend. It works for us both, neither resents one another and we're entirely supportive of each other's wishes.

My husband and I have been married for 30 years and I have often traveled solo, primarily for business as a starting point, then taking extra time in a location. While I miss traveling with my husband, I love the freedom of going at my own pace, sitting in a museum all day, or just doing what I want to do without negotiating with someone else. I keep in touch with him via FaceTime and often text him pictures/notes.

Now, even when we travel together, we each allocated solo time during the trip do focus on what we want to do. This makes for a more enjoyable time and we get to share stories about our adventures when we get together for dinner in the evening.

Indyhiker, I've been married 53 years. Several years ago my hubby decided he didn't want to travel anywhere, except maybe to a class reunion (after 50, there aren't too many of those well attended). He's never been out of the country and has no interest. I finally quit suggesting it.

Last year and this I decided if I wanted to go anywhere, I would have to go by myself. Life's getting too short not to travel.
Friends either aren't interested, can't afford it or are sickly. Once he got over the angst that I was determined to go to Europe on my own and I got over my anxiety, I had a great time. I leave Tuesday for Germany and Austria. I call him every night so he knows I'm OK and I know he's OK. He's technophobic so email and text are out.

If Paris is your happy spot, go there. Of course you will miss each other. But think of it as a healing time. Taking care of yourself is important.

Hi, I’m getting ready now for what I call a hybrid trip. My husband & I are spending two weeks in England & Wales. When he flies home, I will go to Slovenia & Croatia for another two weeks. This time I’m joining a RS tour, but since 2018, I usually travel solo for at least three weeks and ride the trains.

We’re having our 45th anniversary this summer and are very happily married. : )

I will add the link to my first solo trip in 2018 - both because there’s some helpful hints, but also because you’ll hear the excitement and enthusiasm from that trip which I hope you’ll also experience!

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/solo-trip-to-italy-2018

I will also include this one because I was in France. It may give you some ideas beyond Paris, if you’re interested.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/our-combined-solo-couple-vacation-in-france-2019

My husband does miss me when I’m traveling, but we do connect by FaceTime each evening if I have a good internet connection at the hotel. I do a lot of cooking, so I usually make some of his favorites and have them in the freezer, but he’s fine with cooking, also. He loves to play golf, so he has activities at home to enjoy while I’m traveling, too.

I’m an extremely safety conscious traveler while still having a great time! I traveled alone for work quarterly or monthly, so he is comfortable with me traveling alone overseas.

Update: just had a thought that I didn’t mention earlier. It’s a great opportunity to expand or try a new hobby! I took a croissant pastry class at the La Cuisine cooking school near Notre Dame many years ago, and I love making croissants now at home….and my husband appreciates them, too! ; )

@horsewoofie, have a wonderful time on your trip.

I talked to my husband an out it again this evening and have his support. So, I’m going to do it. I think I’ll stay in a new area for me at Hotel 34B for those that might be familiar. I’m excited!

I appreciate you all for sharing your POV!

Go for it. It is empowering and relaxing at the same time I think. I’ve done solo trips to Berlin, Paris and many others as well. We’ve been married 52 years and my guy just doesn’t like big cities and hours in art and history museums so I do some of that on my own and everyone is happy. I text a lot. He used to be a little nervous about my safety but he knows I’m safer in Europe than I am going to anywhere in Texas where we live. In fact I’m heading to NYC for an art binge in June.

@Jean, thanks for all the suggestions! I’m excited to start planning.

I travel solo separately from my wife and kid. It's better than a kick in the teeth, but I miss them
a lot and would definitely rather have them with me.

I thought this was going to be a topic about swingers.😠

So glad you decided to go for it, Indyhiker. I can definitely relate to what you said about how traveling solo to Paris helped you feel empowered. That's the best word to use for how I feel about planning my own trips and making my way around in any new place, but especially in a foreign country.

My husband (#2) and I have been married 35 years. He'd never had a passport or been to any foreign country except Canada when we went on our first trip to Europe for 2 months in 2009. (I'd traveled solo in Europe for 4 months 1977-78 and lived alone in Nürnberg 1982-85.) After that he went with me on 4 more trips to Europe. Then he decided to opt out mostly because of his annual 5 month summer car racing time in the Pacific Northwest and partly because he hates to fly. I kept on traveling on my own.

Pre-pandemic I went back and forth between Tucson and the Tacoma area to support his racing, but I never spent more than a couple of weeks at a time there. He's always supported my traveling. Both passions separate us from each other for long periods of time. Perhaps it's our ages (me 77, him 75 soon) or that it's a 2nd marriage for both of us or that we were 42 and 40 when we married or that we are both very independent, but being apart so much is not a bad thing. We do communicate regularly. Frankly, I missed our dog more because I couldn't communicate with him. 😉

This year my husband's committed to doing Federal Grand Jury duty every other Wednesday in Tucson through April 2024. I have no travel plans. We adopted a new/old dog. It will be the first time we've both been at at home together all year for years except during the pandemic. We made it okay then, but it was and will be weird. 🤣

I hope all your planning and actual trip goes well without any hitches and that you have a great time making new memories in Paris.

Lol, Tom! That made me laugh!

Thanks to everyone for your contributions! I appreciate your insight and enthusiasm.

i just completed my 2nd solo trip to Paris since fall of 2021; hubby stays at home and is fine with it. He also doesn't have a passport (does have an EDL though), and has only been to Canada. I don't think he likes my style of travel, he thinks I'm too structured (which is just not at all true, but if you've booked a train that departs at 745am, well, it ACTUALLY LEAVES then...).
I say, go for it, absence makes the heart grow fonder!!

I married rather late in life, so I had many solo trips under my belt before hubby. And while he does like to travel, he is not obsessed like I am and so I continue to take trips without him although it is very often with my dive group or girlfriends. Last year, I stayed in Paris an extra week after he went home ( and back to work).

As the Stephen Stills song goes, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with." So, what happens in Europe stays in Europe, wink-wink. Keep your options open when traveling solo.

Seriously, everyone is different so do what feels right to you. Personally I don't enjoy travelling without my wife, because if I see something it feels rather empty without her to share it with.

It's interesting how gendered the responses are - most people piping up that they pleasure travel (aka not work travel ) independently of a spouse are women.

My husband of 38 years is my favorite travel partner. That said, I have traveled to Europe 4 times without him in the last 12 years, twice with a friend (I did meet up with him in Prague after 3 weeks in Italy with the friend and then he and I had 3 weeks together), once to take my elderly uncle to visit his children in Germany and once when said uncle dropped out of a trip he asked me to go on to visit the family. I already had my airline tickets for that trip and decided to go by myself. I spent a week with the family, spent a few days with a friend in Frankfurt, then spent 12 nights in Paris because it’s my happy place and I felt comfortable being there solo. It turned out that I shared an apartment in Paris for a week with a friend, but we didn’t see each other much. The rest of the time I was in a hotel by myself and besides meeting up for a meal a couple of times I was on my own. Do I love being there with my husband? Absolutely! Did I enjoy the time on my own? Absolutely! I got to do what I wanted, when I wanted, for how long I wanted, and I didn’t have to concern myself with anyone else’s happiness or if they were bored. Would I do it again if the opportunity presented itself. Yes!

Thanks for the additional responses. There are so many great perspectives here!

Well, it’s booked! I have 7 nights in Paris in a new neighborhood to me. I’ll be sure to report back. In the meantime, my husband and I have a week in Cape Cod in September. It’s all good!

Good for you! Enjoy!, what arrondisment are you going to stay in?

I’m staying in the 9th at Hotel 34B. I’ve stayed in the 5th, 6th and 3rd on past trips. Ironically, my last dinner in Paris (at Pastore) on our trip in 2019 is almost next door to the 34B.

My wife of 33 years and I are happily married and have taken 10+ trips to Europe together. about 10 years ago we noticed that our travel styles started to diverge slightly. She liked the slower pace and I liked to go faster. We settled on a compromise. I do a solo trip once in awhile, get a rail pass and blitz through lots of places she would not have the desire and energy to see. We still take our trips together but have gravitated towards Christmas Market trips where she can do some shopping and we don't do as much moving around. It seems to be a great balance for us as we get the best of both worlds. So perhaps you could do the things you like on your solo trip and leave the things your husband enjoys doing with you when you travel together. I hope it all works out!!

Indyhiker that's a good hotel and location. I really like both the 9th to stay and the Astotel chain.

My husband of almost 52 years and I usually travel together. I do not travel with him on his fishing trips--I don't fish and he loves it--fly fishing in a stream is his happy place. While blue ribbon trout streams are in gorgeous areas, he's gone from before dawn to whenever the guide returns him--usually @ 5 pm. Then, he eats and goes to bed. This way he feels no pressure to get back to be with me, etc., not that I'd put that on him. I have no trouble being home alone, but it certainly is nice when he returns--I miss him. Also, before his retirement, he spent 2-3 weeks several times a year in either South Korea or China working , so. . . Since I was working, I never joined him. He is the cook in the family but I made do.
I do miss our family's dive trips. That is one sort of trip I wouldn't want to do alone as I need to know and trust my dive buddy. It was great diving with the kids and my husband and then returning to be with other divers sharing our stories. Kids are now grown and on their own, so that sort of trip won't be happening anymore. Never did get to dive Bloody Bay Wall !

You'll have to let us know how your vacation went. (Btw, I lived in a tiny central Indiana town for one year--I can understand the need to branch out!) Enjoy!

Hank, that’s good to know. The Astotel chains looks like really good value for the money. I was torn between the 34B and the Joyce (to be closer to Rue des Martyrs) but opted for something a bit closer to the river.

I like 34B's location, but haven't stayed there. Definitely makes walking to the river more likely. Seem like a good choice if you want to get all over the city for a week. My stays have been pretty short lately, and I wanted to be close to Montmartre and Pigalle to stroll in the evening and jog early morning.

I've stayed at Joyce, George and Monterosa. All solid but Joyce my preferred. Cool Parisian theming and best breakfast room. Quieter slightly upscale residential neighborhood with a lot of good places to eat within a couple blocks.

The chain itself has a neat feature. You can show your key card at any location in the city and get a drink and a snack at the all day drink and snack station. Pretty good pastries and fruit. Also a clean bathroom 🙂

I love that feature! I’ll have to stop in the Joyce. I’d like to check it out for a future stay with my husband.

Hank, if you have any favorite restaurants in that area, feel free to share here or PM me. Thanks!

If you both are OK with it, go ahead. My solo trips to Europe have all been a week or so in conjunction with a business trip (my employer would let me book a ticket with extra vacation time if the cost was no more), and I had a great time, did things she was not interested in, ate where I wanted, spent time seeking out unique beers, basically a "me" trip. Yeah, she would have liked to have gone, I did not rub it in or gloat when I got home, just silent enjoyment.

I have also taken "guy" centric trips with my brother and/or son over the years, and she has spent time with her mother and our daughters on her trips.

Overall, all have been healthy, but then we are lucky to be able to travel frequently. If you have not traveled in 5 years together, that may be an issue, a case of one is able to do things, but not the other.

Thanks for the perspective, Paul. My husband and I have traveled together frequently. We were in Spain for two weeks in March, are going to Cape Cod for a week in September and are headed to England next April. This trip is something I want to do for myself after being diagnosed this time last year with a chronic health problem. It’s been an emotionally trying year and I just feel a need to reconnect with myself in a place that I love.

I have stayed at the 34b on my own probably half a dozen times, the Monterosa, and the George. My husband and I have stayed at the 34b and also 123Sebastopol.
I love travelling on my own, love the area of the 34b and think you will also love the area. I am travelling on my own at the moment, in the Netherlands, been to Belgium and going on to Germany tomorrow, leaving to go back to Australia on Thursday. I might ad that I am in my late 70s, so making the most of it while I can!
I travel with my husband too, Later in the year we are both going back to France. Enjoy your travel by yourself, you will have a great time.

Thanks, Jeanetter! I’m happy to hear you like the 34B. Enjoy the rest of your trip and safe travels. Drop me a PM if you think of it on any restaurant suggestions in that area. There are so many interesting places from which to choose!

Sorry to be a minute getting back to you.

I'm sorry to report that we don't always eat fantastic meals in Paris. Our visits have been short lately, so missed on a few swings and dragged to some places our young teens wanted to go to (The Ramen Burger place for instance - good enough, but could be anywhere).

But we did get some good food! This trip report and following conversation has strong recommendations for areas around the 9th from a food-focused traveler.

Also if the weather is nice, look at the food on Brasserie patios as you pass - some of our best meals weren't recommendations but rather we saw good food and then went in or returned later.

I will emphasize that Miznon (3 locations - the one on the canal St. Martin is handy for a picnic) has OUTSTANDING falafel and excellent roast cauliflower.

https://imgur.com/a/Me3uF3h

Staircase at Hotel Joyce. Astotel does a nice job with their themeing.

Thanks, Hank!