Solo travel

Mike L,

• Yes, many solo trips
• Don't remember how old I was.... maybe early '20s
• If I remember correctly, one of my biggest early solo trips was driving from B.C. to Mexico
• Yes, everything worked out well
• I don't think I told anybody?
• Since I didn't tell anyone, there was no reaction
• N/A

I was in my mid 30s when I took my first solo trip. I told family and friends. Some were encouraging, others were more skeptical, but no one had a very strong negative reaction. Some thought I would be bored, or thought they would be afraid on a trip alone. The trip went great, and so have my other solo trips. I enjoy traveling solo at times because I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without worrying if my travel partner is happy. I also like traveling with a travel partner at times. My trips are two weeks at most, and even on my solo trips, I have met up with friends for at least a few days of the trip. When traveling solo I am also at least in touch by texting with someone every day. What did I do about their reaction? Well, for most people I wouldn’t worry about their reaction because it doesn’t really matter. When someone was genuinely concerned about me when I started I would do what I could to reassure them. Like I said, no one really had a bad reaction. By now everyone I know is used to my solo trips. Oh, where did I go? Germany, France and Italy. My first trip solo was in Germany.

I was 19 when I bought a second-hand moped in England and took it to France for about a month before returning to the US. It worked out very well, at least in memory. I told my parents (in the US) and people I'd been staying with in England. I think they were all more worried about the logistics than I was, and I remember a lot of emphasis on wearing a helmet, which I did.

Since Rick Steves was still in grade school then, I had to depend on Arthur Frommer's Europe on $5 a Day. Not sure I stuck to that budget, but I remember "splurge" hotel rooms (hot and cold running water in the room, toilet down the hall) that cost $2. Since the moped maxed out at about 40 MPH, I stayed on the secondary roads. Earlier this year, homebound, I went through all the postcards I bought (in lieu of my own camera) on that trip and revived some of the memories.

I mistakenly assumed that I'd be returning to Europe regularly as life went on. I had a couple more trips in college years, then a 40-year hiatus (from Europe, but with a lot of US travel) till close to retirement. Since then I've been making up for lost time, with trains and cars instead of the moped. Mike, I know you've had some good trips and I urge you to do more if you can once this plague is behind us.

Sure. The first trips that spring to mind- Tahiti at age 22, a cross Canada road trip, and several years later a bus/rail trip through several western European countries. They were all great (except for a fan belt problem and dead battery on the road trip- easily dealt with thanks to CAA). Of course I told people that I would be travelling, and where. My family, employer, and friends. They all wished me well, and some offered advice based on experience, which I welcomed. No adverse reactions from anyone that I'm aware of. If there had been, I would have ignored it and politely reminded them that I was an adult and capable of making my own decisions.

I suppose my first major solo trip was moving to England on my own - never having been there - just after I turned 30.

Did your trip work out well?
Yes, and it began my European travels in earnest.

How did they react?
I suppose my parents thought I was a bit nuts, but they weren't really surprised - and they came to visit me numerous times and traveled all around with me through England, Scotland and to Italy.

After taking many trips with my parents - who have since hung up their passports - I recently began taking solo trips again. Funny, I think they were more concerned about me traveling alone (in my 50's) to Central Europe than they were about me moving alone to England all those years ago.

What did you do about their reaction?
Even now, while traveling in Europe, I check in with my Mom every day to let her know I'm fine and having a great time!

My first experience of solo travel was when I was sent by my then employer to work in U.K. in my late 20s. Since I found myself working with a group of people whom I had only just met, I decided that to see Europe, I had to just bite the bullet and go on my own. I made a few solo trips to continental Europe, starting with a one week trip to Paris and Switzerland. I enjoyed it so much that solo travel has been my preferred way of travelling ever since.

I have made solo trips within Australia, and overseas to NZ, Europe, Asia and North America. When I first started travelling solo, some people were scared on my behalf, such as my parents, but after a while everyone got used to the fact that I seemed to know what I was doing.

I took my first major overseas solo trip when I was 61. I had a wonderful time and will hopefully have more solo trips in the future. I did a short stop in Iceland and then a week in London. Of course I told people i was going. Why wouldn’t one tell? My children would be pretty upset if I set off on a trip without telling them. We treat each other with courtesy.

Are you worried that family might feel you are too young and try to dissuade you?

I was an experienced traveler with plenty of practice traveling with others before I went solo. Even then I made sure that I sent a text or an email to my family daily so they would not worry about me. I also gave them my itinerary.

If you are old enough to take a major trip solo, then you are old enough to be open with your family about your plans and keep in communication during your trip so they don’t worry.

I would spend time watching some of Rick’s travel skills videos before you go. A little knowledge goes a long way.

Hi Mike, I know that this has been a concern of yours for some time, given the earlier threads you have posted on this topic.

I guess my first solo trip was when I was 24 and went for a week to Belgium and the Netherlands from Hungary, where I was living and working. The first big trip was a few months later when school was out for the summer and I headed off on something like a six-week trip through France, Italy, and Greece, starting with a 24-hour-long bus ride from Budapest to Paris.

I then took an overnight train to Florence, then trained to Rome and on to Bari, where I caught a ferry for Patras, Greece, and did a tour around the Péloponnèse before visiting Athens, then out to Santorini, then back up north through Greece via Mount Olympus and Katerini (a beach resort where a bunch of Hungarians were working) and then caught a bus that returned north through then Serbia-Montenegro to return to Hungary.

I had a great time, made some mistakes of course but stayed safe. Back then it was too expensive to call back to the States more than once a month. I would have informed my family via letter before departing and then sent them postcards all along the way, but they would have had not much way of knowing where I was exactly
on any given day.

I guess by then they were used to me going and doing stuff like this — and heck, they had encouraged and funded my tour with my university group (led by my Russian professor) to the then-Soviet Union six years before, so they were obviously encouraging of my explorations to an enormous extent , which seems to be a very different situation from that that you find yourself in.

I seem to remember that since your very first posting here, you HAVE made a trip and it went fine — is that right, or am I misremembering? I hope that that experience will encourage you again. I am sorry that your parents (or whoever it is in your life) are so concerned about your safety that they seem almost to prohibit you from traveling — or that you worry so about worrying them that you consider traveling without letting them know.

I think lots of folks over the years here have provided lots of examples of safe and happy and fulfilling trips accomplished solo; I hope you will take heart in them and find your way.

Hi Mike,

I took my first solo vacation (3 weeks) in 2018 to Italy when I was 62. I traveled for work at least quarterly in the US and once each to Australia and Germany, so I have lots of solo logistics experience. The work trips were mostly solo.

When I was preparing for that solo vacation trip, I found this quote that summarizes so well how exciting and intellectually expanding a trip can be: “Solo travel is empowering, renewing, intellectually challenging and gives you the opportunity to reintroduce yourself to yourself - much cheaper than therapy and certainly more fun.”

Here’s a link to that fantastic trip: https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/solo-trip-to-italy-2018

I am married, so I definitely told my husband I was taking this trip! I also told friends and our adult children. Most of them were very excited for me because they knew I’ve planned my husband and my trips to Europe, and that I love all of the research on-line and reading guidebooks to plan an itinerary and events that interest me. A few gave more reserved comments about “traveling alone as a woman”, but I am a very safety conscious person, which is one reason my husband felt okay that I would be taking this trip completely alone. So, those comments didn’t change my mind at all.

The year after that trip, I went to France on a solo trip for two weeks, and my husband flew to France to travel with me for the third week. I have so many special memories from all of our trips, but those solo trips will always be extra special in their own way. Of the photos I had mounted as canvas prints on my office wall, several are from my solo destinations. I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend taking a solo trip if you’re a person who loves to continually learn, is organized but flexible and enjoys just being there!

My first solo trip was in my early 30's when I went to Germany for 3 weeks on my own. Part of the trip was a bike tour with 11 other people, and when I got there I found out that they were all Germans and most didn't speak any English (it was a long time ago). It was also pre-cell phone and easy internet access days so I was really on my own. Was I nervous beforehand? Yes, very but it was something I really wanted to do. I had some missteps and "oops" moments, but I learned so much and found that a sense of humor made it better and it constituted a learning experience. But it was fun and I learned alot. Since my kids have grown and moved away and I've retired (but my husband is still working), I've gone on at least 3 trips a year on my own and while it's easier to keep in touch, I still get questions from people about why and how can I stand to traveling on my own. Some are baffled that I go without my husband (we do take a trip together each year), and others think I'm "very brave" which I'm not. I find a particular freedom in being able to go where I want, when I want, and to spend as much or as little time as I want in a particular place or museum. Why miss seeing places just because I don't have someone to travel with, or worse traveling with someone who ends up being annoying after 3 days together. Who cares what other people think - it's important how you feel about it. If you sign up with a small group tour (such as a Rick Steves tour), you will find it easy to meet people. I actually like the freedom.

Oh my, Mike, what a lovely question! I did my first solo trip when I was a young thing of 23, in 1977. Armed with backpack, youth hostel card, two youth Eurail passes, travellers' checks and "Let's Go: Europe," I spent six months travelling around Europe, with the last 8 weeks (once I had used almost all of my money) working on a kibbutz in Israel, picking grapefruit and folding laundry. During my four months in Europe, I slept in "the big youth hostel tent" in Munich, befriended German students in Aachen who invited me home for a burning sugar cake, toured the Carlsberg brewery in Copenhagen with some Dutch youth (lots of free beer), rowed out into the lake behind Neuschwanstein Castle with another young woman (where we engaged in partly-clad swimming in the middle of the lake); did the Myrdal/Flam railroad/ferry/bus adventure in Norway, and filled my eyes with mind-blowing art throughout Europe. This Tulsa girl has never been the same, and (once grad school was mostly paid for and the three babies were older) I have been travelling ever since. Last solo trip was Croatia/Bosnia and Herzegovina/Slovenia in 2018, but I now travel more often with a friend or family member ... if they are okay with me doing most of the planning! I've stayed closer to home (due to Covid-19) since my return from Sicily/Rome this past January but, as others here have said before me, Europe will be there when we return! Yes, I told my mother where I was going, and dropped her postcards from time to time. She was worried, but supportive. It helped that I had an aunt stationed in Brussels with the State Department at the time, and I would return to her house every 4-6 weeks to do laundry, sleep in a real bed, and reassure the family that I was still alive!

My family used to take long vacations when I was a child, so I grew up enjoying travel. After I joined the Military and was posted to Germany I really started going out, many times with friends, but just as often for weekends alone. After that I had a job that required a lot of travel, including annual trips overseas. I often took my vacation on the ends of these trips and traveled alone. I've done 2-3 week long "wanderings" all over Europe where I'd take on overnight bag and either drive or use public transport to just go place to place with no major destination in mind. Those were fantastic!

About 10 years ago I changed jobs; came home from overseas and couldn't start the new one for almost four months. I had nothing but what I was carrying when I got back to the States. Took a couple days to buy a car, but then drove up to visit family in Ohio. Woke up one morning after about a week and told mom I was going to Denver. Took off the next day and spent three months driving all over the USA. I visited old friends, saw places I had on my list, parked the car in San Jose and flew to Hawaii for a couple weeks (Kauai and the Big island), hiked Arches, crawled around Shiloh Battlefield, watched the sun come up in Kings Canyon, etc. All in all it was a 9000 mile vacation (not counting air miles).No prior planning, just an urge to go or see someplace new. I'd get in touch with folks, but for the most part it was just me. I truly hope to do that again.

In these days of cell phones my family and friends know it's not unusual to get a call from me when I'm off somewhere. I can send a picture from Alaska, or coastal Oregon, or Santa Fe, and they just assume it's normal for me. Sometimes it's nice to have someone around, sometimes it's best just to walk alone.

Yes, many, still do.

I was 24 (im 60-something now)

Egypt, Italy, Greece

Great trip

The world knew

No one had an issue

NA

Age 24, Britrail pass, backpack, Lets Go: Britain book. Best thing I ever did. Yes all family friends and workplace knew about it. Not an issue. Parents concerned about safety and the expense, but parents always worry about their kids. I was an adult and its what I wanted to do. On return they were happy and proud I'd managed. Those were the days before cell phones and the internet, so help was a long way away. They needed to know. No way would I have gone in secret.

I guess my first solo trip was domestic at age 19. I spent one month in Washington DC volunteering and seeing the sights. I did make acquaintances with kids my age at the boarding house where I stayed with whom I hung around with often, so is that solo or not? My parents were encouraging as I come from a political family, and they raised me to be independent more like a boy than a girl of the era (although at age 19 my father would not let me spend a year in Italy...I never figured out what that was about). Internationally, my first trip was solo planned at age 21, but I joined up with a group from another US college at JFK so solo for planning and logistics I guess. Again, my parents knew. Since then I've had many solo full or partial domestic trips, but my international trips were with family or partially with family.

At age 60, I took my first completely solo international trip, with no stop to see people I knew, to Sweden. The women on this forum, particularly, were very helpful when trying to decide on one or two items that I normally would not want to do solo, and packing, of course. It was the best trip I ever took, because I was solo. The things that I experienced would not have occurred had I been with my husband or daughter or another person, IMO. My family did want me to upload a photo a day so they would know where they could start looking for me on my itinerary should I disappear. Of course, generally I did IM them in the evening anyway. I love traveling solo, and have always been encouraged to do so by my family when younger and by my husband now because he, too, enjoyed solo travel, when I couldn't travel with him.

Few of my female friends, even now, would take a solo international trip. They voice this. They are still waiting for the time to be right for them to travel at all (and this was before covid)...and they think I'm going to be their tour guide (not), but as they never really get close to going anywhere I have not had to inform them of such. They are wasting time waiting. The only people I enjoy traveling with are my daughter and/or my husband. Everyone else strikes me as too demanding or invasive. That being said, I have one cousin/friend that I will travel solo with at some point in the future for a genealogy trip. We know each other well and have talked about how we would best handle the time together, and we are both not morning people, pack light, and don't need fancy food...

PS. The first year of working after college is when I realized that if I wanted to travel or do anything unique on my vacation, I would need to go alone. That is when it struck me to not hold back for other people. As I did not have a great deal of expendable income at the time, I took a windjammer cruise along the coast of Maine.

I took my first solo trip when I was 13. I wanted to visit my grandmother in Florida. (This was a long time ago.) I had visited with my family so I knew what to do. (My mother used to say that they could probably drop me anywhere and I would find my way home.)

In those days, if you flew after 9 PM it was cheaper so my father bought me a ticket on a flight that left at 9 PM. When I arrived in Miami near midnight, I took a shared taxi service to my grandmother's apartment arriving around 1 AM. I called my parents to let them know I arrived safe. A week later, I did the trip in reverse.

I told my friends I was going and they thought it was cool that I would travel by myself and get to go to Florida rather than have to stay in the cold north.

I loved it and caught the travel bug. I've been traveling solo ever since.

I have taken something over 20 trips abroad, about half of them solo.

I was 24 my first trip to Europe, flying for the first time, then bicycling from hostel to hostel, for 3 months.

I started in England and biked through parts of France, Germany, Austria, Italy, and Greece.
Used trains sometimes, and ferries, first time for those forms of transport also.
In other words, a lot of firsts and therefore some glitches...flat tire, hostel full, bike disappeared after I put it on a train ( got it back), strange ride on empty bus late at night. I don't remember ever being really afraid for my safety, and the glitches taught me a lot.
My parents, of course, knew where I was going, but, surprisingly, did not express any negative reactions.

Forty some years later, I went solo to New Zealand and Australia for almost 6 weeks. It was a great trip, and pretty much glitch free as I had learned a lot in the 40 years of travel.

I am glad I have done so much solo travel. I can move faster and see and do just the things I have planned. These days, using e-mail every day to share what I am doing, and being more outgoing in my mature years, I am seldom lonely when solo.
That said, I do have a best friend for a travel buddy, and it's great to share the experiences with someone.

Yes, 19 years old.

The Philippines, courtesy of the United States Air Force.

Arrived solo/single, left with a wife & two sons. Worked out pretty well.

Air Force told me, I told my family.

Family thought it was ok, except my grandmother. Said it was too far.

Their reaction wouldn't have deterred me in any way, mainly because of that sworn in commitment thing, but I joined the AF without telling anyone in the first place. Now that brought on many different reactions.

I took my first big solo trip to Europe in 1977-78 at the age of 31. I quit my job so I could travel as long as my money lasted. To get those $$$$, I sold everything I owned except my car, 10 boxes and a bicycle. I left that with friends in Cincinnati where I had been living.

I took the first Freddie Laker flight from NYC to London on about September 27, 1977 and flew back from London about 4 months later, in late January, 1978, also on Freddie Laker. I had a bit more than enough money left for my flight to NYC and from there to Cincinnati.

As others have mentioned, travel was much looser back then than it is now. No Schengen. Traveler's checks. Different currencies in every country. But for me traveling light was the same as now. I started with a small duffel bag and a largish cross-body bag bought in Cincinnati. By the time I got to Amsterdam, I'd had it with the duffel, bought a small ski touring backpack and used it for the rest of the trip.

Communication was by a rare phone call, usually from a post office, or by letter or postcard. I didn't own a camera, but in many ways I remember more about that trip than my ones with pictures.

I used Let's Go Europe and Europe on $5 a Day to plan. I stayed in hostels or pensions or rooms with friends I met along the way. I got sick with bad colds, or maybe flu, twice and got food poisoning once.

I started in the north with 2 weeks in the UK, mostly using a Britrail Pass. My major stops were London, Bath, Lake Country, Oban.

Then it was on to the continent, using my 2 month Eurail Pass as much as possible, back when it was a good deal. Belgium (Bruges), the Netherlands (Amsterdam), Denmark (Copenhagen), Norway (Oslo, Bergen), Germany (one night in the train station in Fulda when I couldn't get into the hostel), Austria (Innsbruck), Italy (Venice, Florence), France (Toulouse), Spain (Barcelona, Ibiza), France (Nice), Italy (Genoa, Florence, Rome), Greece (Athens, Crete), London.

My Eurail Pass ran out when I was in Florence for the 2nd time. After that, it was pay as you go for trains, ferries and buses, including the Magic bus back from Athens to Amsterdam. Now that was an interesting ride.

I think my trip worked out very well. I saw and experienced more than I expected, and met people from all over the world, even though my age and being a woman traveling alone made me an oddity at the time.

And my money lasted longer than I expected, making it possible to travel longer. I took $2000, about $8600 today.

My best friend in Cincinnati was in on the plan from the beginning and she helped me to prepare for the trip. She was very supportive. She's still my best friend, 40+ years later.

I told my mother in San Antonio. She was not surprised, somewhat scared (my father died in 1976 and I was an only child) but still supportive and came up to Cincinnati to visit me before I left.

Of course I told the people at the University of Cincinnati where I worked why I was quitting. The woman who worked for me there pretty much grew up living in Europe because of her father's job, so she was no stranger to traveling there. She was supportive. We've kept in contact over the years and are now Facebook friends.

A personal note here. She turned down the job I ended up getting in West Germany. When I moved there in 1982, my best friend and my mother were the only people who came to visit.

Some other colleagues thought I'd lost my mind, mostly because I quit my job and I was going alone, but nobody tried to help me find it. I had been there only about 22 months and they knew I had no long-term commitment to academia.

My primary challenges back then were financial and logistical ones. I think those are probably much easier to deal with than what your challenges seem to be today.

Since then I've been making up for lost time, with trains and cars instead of the moped.

Thanks, Dick, I got good laugh outta that!

Most of my trips have been done alone. All of my trips as a single guy were done alone. I still do major trips of several weeks alone even as a married guy. If the Mrs does not want to go or cannot , I go solo. She does likewise.

My first trip was done solo at 21 in the summer of 1971. Since retirement almost all trips have been done alone, the Mrs were on the other few. How do you define a major trip? My view is that it is more 3 weeks, ie anywhere from 3-7 weeks or more. focusing on 3 countries, usually Germany and France, but that all depends which could also include England, Poland, Austria, Czech Rep.

I told a number of friends and acquaintances, especially, before going on the first trip. None could go or wanted to go, so I went without them solo for 12 weeks, which was with a charter flight...the right decision and great event. I always told my folks before going, kept in touch diligently by postcards and aerogrammes.

Not really interested in the reactions of others...the close people know I go back repeatedly anyway.

started traveling when i was 46 and 80% of my trips are solo and just with a back pack
did a lot of research on solo travel before my 1st trip so wasnt worried and definitely didnt care about others reactions
1st 3 solo trips
UK
Cuba
France

from the stories ive been told and tend to agree with is that is way easier to travel solo now then it was pre internet and phones
mistakes , getting sick and bad luck will happen when travelling because those same things can happen when home
with a local sim and a few apps its pretty easy to travel solo and feel at ease and safe

my advice to anyone is to go for it

1972 Europe

Only child so very comfortable exploring solo.

Mom, dad, friends. Total support, no negative reactions.

Met up with college friends in Amsterdam and Paris while there. Remember staying up all night reading The Exorcist in paperback.

Opened my eyes to the privilege of travel and exploration.

Douglas, for me you hit the nail on the head. I travel to learn about other cultures, enrich my life, and have fun, I do not want to enjoy the Experience alone. I don’t want to be sitting at a Parisian cafe, eating pastry, on a beautiful spring day, all by myself. My husband and I travel together all the time. Other family members join us on many trips, but it is never without each other. If I ever do have to travel alone or not go, I would go on a RS tour. If the posters on this forum are any indication of the people who go on RS tours, I know I wouldn’t be totally alone.

I don't know if you'd consider it major, but my first solo trip was a 50-hour cross-country bus trip from Oklahoma to Oregon when I was 14. I had previously done the trip with family, and my family put me on the bus and other family collected me at the end. I received certain instructions from my family, such as sitting up front near the bus driver. I'm sure other parents would have been horrified about a young teen making such a trip, but U.S. bus travel in those days (1959) was actually pretty safe, I think, and my parents trusted my experience, intelligence and common sense.

I've traveled alone almost too many times to count.
The first time was in late 20's when I took off to Paris alone for a week. Since then, I have done a week of white water rafting through the Grand Canyon, a week fly fishing in Wyoming, a week camping in Yosemite, hiking/fishing in Yellowstone, and Napa-Sonoma wine tasting, all alone.

I've done three weeks traveling through France and Italy, then another three weeks three years later in the same countries, all alone.
I've done 12 days in the Azores, Spain & Lisbon alone, and another week alone on the beaches of Aruba.

My best and most memorable vacation was when I left my job at 50 and spent almost four months traveling through England, France, Italy, Belgium, Germany, Austria, etc. In every trip I've taken I've told family I was going, I've gone alone, and I've carried only one carry on bag. In every instance I've had several people raise a crooked eye-brow and say "you're going alone?," perhaps out of jealousy. But that's the extent of the criticism I've received. (I have occasionally received that response when I've met foreigners in their home countries, too). I've never let anyone's reaction effect my ability to travel or my purpose.

In each and every country I've met wonderful people, traveled with a couple of them, and had an amazing time. Would I prefer to have a travel partner with whom I could travel and share all of these experiences? Yes. But I'm not going to let the fact that I"m single prevent me from seeing the Pont du Gard, the Duomos of Italy, El Capitan, the Belvediere Museum or any other site.
We're only here on this planet for a limited time: enjoy it and try not to have regrets.

I am going to read between your lines and note the uncertainty about your usual travel partner being unable to join you and can you still experience the joy of travel without somebody else with whom to share what you see and experience. It sounds like a major life transition. I have traveled pretty extensively solo but the only time I ever felt lonely was when I had treated myself to an over-the-top stay near Uluru in Australia for a big birthday. It enabled private access to the site that had been a lifelong dream but also included elegant meals( which I always skip when traveling, rarely eat alone in a restaurant, I just grab something from a market). One night was the final gala under the stars- we were able to access a non-tourist area for the sunset that was beyond spectacular but then the dinner after was interminable (even if I had a companion!). It was 2 1/2 hours long and I was by myself at little table and felt like everyone was wondering what I was doing...me, too!
So, when I travel solo I design an itinerary carefully around MY own interests- maybe spending 3 hours in a museum normal people could see in an hour. I also pack a lot into the days so am up very early and by early evening am fine to review photos and news and e mail a family update and go to bed- and repeat. That avoids the feeling of knowing someone I love is missing seeing it. To an extent- I would choose a destination you have long wanted to visit and give it a try- worst case you realize you are happier traveling with others (so a tour?) but maybe you will, despite your hesitation, have an incredible time.

I was 32 when I took my first solo trip as a tourist. It was September 2015. I went to Montreal, Quebec, Canada. At the time I wrongly believed I could only go to one city per trip. I took the train. I spent 3 nights in a hostel. I wish I had taken a plane. I called my aunt to tell her about my trip, the night before I left, from my apartment. She convinced me to tell my mom. I talked to both my parents. My mom was scared out of her mind. Her reaction was about what I expected. She has phobias of travel: fear of being alone in big cities, of going over bridges, travel in boats, planes or even riding in a car if somebody else is driving; fear of going to the observation area at the top of tall buildings, and so on. I was restraning myself from laughing my rear end off at her reaction. Another part of my brain felt bad for traumatizing my mom so much. I called home each day I was away. My dad was much more interested in talking than my mom. The trip worked out better than expected. I saw the art museum, an archeology museum, hiked to the top of Mount Royal, and did two group guided walking tours.

I went to London, England the next year, then the next year I went to 3 cities in Italy - i told my mom 4 months in advance. My mom was was horrified. She tried talking me out of traveling, in a frightened, aghast manner. I managed to end that phone conversation within 3 minutes after telling her. Her reaction improved a lot when I told her I was traveling to Greece. I told my parents about my trip to the Netherlands 4 weeks in advance. Her reaction was quite calm. In planning a trip I still feel like an ornery teenager disobeying my parents, like I am doing something terribly wrong. Just last week I mentioned to my mom that Mexico may be allowing American tourists to visit; immediately she replied in a demanding way, "No! Don't go to Mexico! It's not safe!"

Mike L, your mother sounds something like mine, maybe even a bit worse. Thankfully, when I was in the UK, she was not in any position to oppose any travel decisions that I made. After that, she just got used to my decisions, so it definitely got easier over time.

As for being the single guy on a tour group, that does not bother me, because I have actually done that. I am the sort of person who actually wants to get away from the group sometimes. When based in the UK, I did an Insight Tour of Spain, and whilst I enjoyed the company of the other people on the tour, some of the best bits were when I went off on my own to visit places. In that case I went to Parc Guell in Barcelona, and the Prado in Madrid without any other member of the group and they were highlights of the trip. I also paid the single supplement to guarantee that I had a room to myself. I do not regret a single cent of that, it was money well spent.

In fact even when I have travelled with friends, I still feel like they are a constraint, especially when their interests are different from mine. A good example of this is shopping. I hate it, and I have travelled with family and friends who love it. This is when I really want to get away from them.

Many of us end up at solo travel because we have lost our spouse/parent/loved one who was our travel partner. I remember the realization after my husband died that my life was never going to be how I had planned and expected it to be. This was followed by the realization that just because it was going to be different, that didn’t mean it couldn’t be good. Solo travel is just one of the skills I’ve learned. I’ve had lots of “firsts” and I think my husband would be proud of all I have learned and done.

I share this because of Douglas, and others , who are facing the possibility of a new reality they never wished for. It won’t be the same travel experience, it won’t necessarily have been your first choice, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be good.

I now have a variety of ways I can travel and I enjoy them all. I go on solo trips, I travel with my sister, and I’ve enjoyed 2 Rick Steves tours. Each has different pluses. The key is to step out and go.

"The question for me about a tour group is... do you really want to travel with a bunch of strangers that are having a good time usually with there traveling companions while you are solo? Isn’t that kind of like being the lone single guy at a wedding?"

I haven't found that to be the case, at least with RS tours. Most tours provided some guided visits to museums or whatever every day, but there's also a fair amount of time for each tour member to see what they want. That's especially true on the My Way tours, where all the touring is totally up to each person (or couple). At times I have dined with other people in the group, but have also dined alone. That's pretty much a personal choice. The big advantage of tours is that they take care of all the hotel and transportation arrangements. As long as each member of the group cooperates and is at the bus at the appointed time, it works well.

I've travelled with RS tour groups and also solo, so I've experienced both methods.

10 years ago, my husband died suddenly. I was left with the choice, stay home or travel alone. I chose to travel alone. A few bumps along the way. I got locked out of my small hotel in Collioure. My fault, I forgot that 1900 was 7pm, not 9 pm and didn't take my key. My husband always said "keep moving forward". So I have.

Mike, my mom is the opposite. When I tell her of a trip I am planning she always asks if she can come. She travels with her church around the world at least every 2 - 3 years. It's funny when she says, not Rome again, to the Priest. She actually talked him into seeing the Temples in Asia, but COVID halted that this year.

Have so enjoyed reading all these responses! My first solo trip was to England when I was 47. (Had done Maui on my own a few years before that. Loved it!) In England for about 2 weeks using trains to go to different places. Did some day tours out of Bath and St. Ives, and walking tours in London. And a fun day trip which my B&B hosts helped me design through the Yorkshire Dales and to Castle Howard. Felt happy, safe, and magical. Since then, have done a lot of trips in the Northwest US on my own.

My five Rick Steves tour trips have been amazing. All as a solo traveler. The pluses have been time to wander on my own, and all the logistics taken care of, and going places I would not have found on my own. My last three especially have had such wonderful travel companions! I am starting to think again of a trip on my own, after all this is COVID stuff is over. I think because I have also lived on my own for 20+ years, I know how to live life not waiting for someone else to journey with me. It helps to have a bit of a personality that sees beauty everywhere.

I hit 44 and realized if I wanted to see anything I had better get out there, so off I went to London for 5 days to test the waters; I am an only child and somewhat of a loner who is extremely comfortable on my own, so it was no surprise to discover that solo travel really works for me. 12 more perfectly wonderful solo trips to Europe followed--the longest have been 2 full weeks--and I must say at this point I can't really imagine travelling with anyone. My parents of course had the usual worries, we are a very close little family with daily contact so that's typical and they are delighted that I found something that really nurtures me the way travel does. No one has ever tried to discourage me, though many are of the "how on earth can you just fly to a foreign country and know what to do/don't you get lonely/afraid/confused???" I realize they are voicing their own fears and hope that at the very least I may inspire them to venture out into the world.

If the main concern about traveling solo is safety as it pertains to doing that in Europe, that's just one issue, which really is not an issue at all. If your main concern is not safety, then it is mental, ie, afraid of getting lost, looking stupid , committing a cultural faux pas, language concerns, etc.

I recall a conversation I had with a French woman in 1984, which was my 4th trip, again going solo like the first three in the 1970s, I raised some of the potential and possible concerns doing a trip solo, she bluntly asked, "what are you afraid of?" I dropped the topic, realized immediately how silly my concerns were.

"The question for me about a tour group is... do you really want to travel with a bunch of strangers that are having a good time usually with there traveling companions while you are solo? Isn’t that kind of like being the lone single guy at a wedding?"

My goodness. I've traveled solo on 7 out of 11 Rick Steves tours and 11 out of 11 Road Scholar tours. I have a good time on my own or I work to make a good time with others in the group. Both groups are very open to solo travelers and if you make any effort at all are easily included with others for meals or free time activities. I make sure I plan ahead to see what kind of sights I want to see on my free time and if I'm in the mood for company will ask others if they want to join me. There are always other solos and often couples or half of a couple will come along. I'm also a pretty optimistic person and not given to ruminating on what others (particularly those I'll never see again) might think about me or my single state.

It also doesn't really bother me to sit at a Paris cafe with a glass of wine and people watch although I'll say for me this is time limited...usually I get antsy and want to move on to something more active even if it's just walking.

At this point in my life I'm great with going solo. I am running out of travel time so I cannot afford to wait to travel until someone pops up who can go. To be honest I'd often rather go alone so I can do just what I want to do - the exception is a friend who I meet up with in Paris...we travel similarly and enjoy the same things. Being a solo on a group tour is fun for me as well as traveling totally on my own.

As far as people's reactions -groups like the ones on this forum are very supportive of solo travel. I recently met up with some folks on a trip to Yellowstone where I go every year solo. One of the women was astonished I'd even consider traveling alone to Yellowstone (not sure why she was so shocked except it was her first time there) and then was even more astounded when we got off on to talking about European travel and she found I went alone. I think it has more to do with the other person's comfort level on travel than anything else.

As you can tell by the responses solo travel is very popular!

My first solo trip was at 19 when I took a year off from college and drove cross country by myself. I spent a good deal of that trip (about 6 weeks) visiting friends who were in colleges all over the place, but I did do some things solo, and the 'traveling' was solo. Of course my parents knew, and they weren't terribly happy about it, but they trusted me and didn't try to stop me.

After college I got married, had kids, so there was no solo travel for many years but in my 40s I wanted to travel more than my husband did so I took a 3 week trip to Italy and Prague my myself and loved it. (I had been to Europe 3 or 4 times with either my husband/kids or friends before the solo trip). Loved it so much that now for the last 20 years I've done either a solo trip or partially solo trip to Europe every year. Sometimes I travel with my husband for a couple weeks and then he goes home and I go on for another few weeks. But I have done several 5 week solo trips.

Some people travel solo because they don't have anyone to go with - they may be single, don't have anyone who shares their interests. But I - and lots of others- enjoy traveling with our spouse/children/friends but also enjoy solo trips. It doesn't mean you don't love the family/friends you are not traveling with, but there is something about solo travel that is wonderful. And it's not just that you don't have to ask the other person what they want to do, what time they want to eat, etc. It's more than that.

In my late 30's I traveled on business to Austria in the fall of 1994. Even though I was only given 2 weeks notice, it turned out to be a great first time experience in Europe. My parents and siblings have never been to Europe so they didn't give me any advice. Before the trip I bought my first RS guide book 2-22 days in Germany, Austria and Switzerland and got advice from friends in an Audi newsgroup on places to visit. I often wonder if I never would have traveled to Europe if not for this first experience. Spent the first week with our customer in Austria, then drove to Munich with a co-worker. We went our separate ways and I spent a week in Germany by myself.

Stayed in Munich and did the BMW factory tour, and other museums. I rented an Audi and experienced the Autobahn on my way to Stuttgart. Did the Porsche factory tour and museum, and drove to Neckarsulm for the Audi factory tour. Headed 330Km northwest and drove my rental car on the Nurburgring Nordscheif race track late one afternoon. Insane fun for me but I can't imagine convincing a travel partner to visit all these automotive sights. I did not know any German so I did feel a bit conspicuous when dining out alone, and understood what it is like being a foreigner and not able to speak the language. Two years later went back to Austria again on business but this time I had taken a year of German which made the trip much more enjoyable.

In 2000 went to France, Germany, Lichtenstein and Austria traveling with 3 automotive friends who invited me at the last minute. More automotive racing events and museums. In 2003 visited a friend in St. Petersburg and spent a week solo in Germany and the Netherlands. 2005 visited the same friend who now was living in Istanbul and we spent an amazing week visiting Turkey's Mediterranean coastline. When traveling with others I always go with the flow.

In 2014 I decided to try out the RS "My Way Italy" tour but was leery of traveling with a tour group. No worries as I had a great time on this tour traveling solo while spending time with a great group of travelers. The 1st night in Venice, had dinner with a couple and the one solo lady and later found out we all lived in Portland. Solo again on the 2016 My Way Alpine Tour which is my current favorite as I became friends with the tour manager and really enjoyed the hiking and amazing scenery. 2018 solo again on the My Way Spain tour and once again met some wonderful people. On several occasions when traveling solo and before or after the RS tours, I always seem to meet other tourists and locals and end up having some great dinners with them. I was scheduled to go on my first guided RS tour in Croatia this Sept/Oct. but will have to wait for that experience. Throughout all of these trips I rarely regretted traveling solo, and never felt unsafe. Your mileage may vary....

Getting back to your original post, I would never suggest going overseas and not telling anyone. It’s fine to not tell your family if you don’t want to, but make sure you tell a couple close friends.

My top reasons for traveling alone and not with a whole-trip group tour are not having to worry about how much I need to talk to other tour participants, and not being out of place if most of the participants are couples and/or much older than me.

On my own I buy most or all of my food from grocery stores or other markets. I am just as happy or happier spending 15-20 minutes eating something I bought at a store, on a park bench or maybe on the grass or in an out of the way spot in a public square. Tentatively, I am saying I avoid eating in restaurants, to avoid having to talk much or to avoid being out of place as a single man traveling alone, and then the money I save is a coincidence.

Every time I plan a trip I consider not telling my parents. I told them 4 weeks before my last trip. I have to tell my parents about my travel even though my mother doesn't like my traveling and I hate telling her, because whether I am home or away from home, my parents get too worried and worse when they don't hear from me for 3 to 4 days. I guess in theory I could lie and make up excuses for why I am not seeing them on a weekend if I will be traveling far from home, but for now I would rather tell them in advance than to have them find out later and be too shocked or astonished. I am 37 and I logically know perfectly well that my sort of fear of doing activities my mother doesn't want me to do, is totally irrational and I mostly did ok putting up with my mother's negative reactions to trips I took. ... a second cousin is sure he knows which countries are safe and which ones are unsafe, for example he claims there is a risk of getting kidnapped by gangs in the Balkan, not that I was planning a trip there... my brother thinks I am wasting my money... an aunt thinks I am nuts for not at least traveling with whole-trip group tours... another aunt and uncle have taken trips to other countries and they don't see my travel as too dangerous.

Edit: I have a lifelong anxiety about talking to people, but I have been improving since I was a kid. For unidentified reasons, being far away from home seems to decrease my overall anxiety. All people have at least some hypocrites or contraditions. For unidentified reasons, maybe due to genetic accident, I didn't acquire my mother's phobia of travel, riding in airplanes and boats, crossing bridges, being in big cities, and so on.

I really enjoy traveling alone. In many ways I prefer it. If I could ever find someone who is a perfect travel partner for my style, I might prefer that. The top things I love about traveling alone:
Every stop on my itinerary is something I want to see/do. I stop as long as I want, then move on.
I stay where I want. For me that can mean hostels, airbnb rooms/apartments, tent camping - it almost never means American style hotels with en suites and elevators.
My day starts and ends when I want. I tend to be an early riser, so I don't mind an early train to start my day. I also don't stay up late unless there is a specific reason to. I sleep so I can enjoy the next day.
If I want to stay longer or leave earlier, I don't have to work it out with others.
I eat when I'm hungry and get a drink (water, soda, coffee, beer, wine) when I feel like it. I eat what and where I want. If I want a quick sandwich, crepe or gyro, that's what I have. If I want to sit down in a cafe and have something nicer, I do.

I took four trips solo to France from 2016 to 2018, (NW loop, NE loop, SE loop, SW loop) each roughly three weeks. I enjoyed my time immensely. I have no angst talking to people, so talking to locals or other tourists has never been an issue. Some I visit when I'm in Europe, others I text occasionally to catch up.

I regularly have friends who see my travel photos and ask to come along. When they realize my vacation plan might entail hiking up three small mountains to ruined castles (in one day) followed by sleeping in a tent, they generally bow out.

I just got married so my solo travel days are likely behind me. We took one trip to Ireland together in 2019 and chartered/skippered a sailboat in the British Virgin Islands in February (before COVID shut the world down). We travel together well but there won't be tent camping, she wants a private bathroom and she has limits on the number of miles she's willing to walk/hike in one day. When you travel with someone else, you have to agree on those details.

My biggest gripe traveling with others is some won't spend a minute planning but expect everything to suit their preferences. Someone who sleeps in late wastes valuable travel time, I would absolutely hate a trip where I had to wait until lunch time to start the day.

Well if you are just counting flights... My first solo trip I was probably 6. I was put on a plane and at the other end I was picked up by my Grandparents.

But... I grew up with a mother that loved to travel and a father who didn't. So when I was 8 my mother farmed me out to Girl Scout camp for 2 weeks, farmed by little brother out to her parents and went to Spain (I never knew she was gone LOL!). She kept traveling solo until she was in her 70's.

So it never seemed strange to me. And as I got older my friends got married and had kids. My life went a different way. We chose not to have kids and while my partner does travel, he's not as motivated to do it as I am (unless it's for a marathon. He goes to incredibly unappealing places to run 26.2 miles LOL!) So since I didn't have built in travel companions I just traveled solo.

My close friends and family know where I am going. I don't tell my coworkers, casual friends etc that I am going alone. Not worth listening to the drama IMHO