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Single man traveling alone

I am a 34 year old single man, living alone. I already went to Canada in 2015, England in 2016, and Italy in 2017. I am thinking of visiting Greece in 2018. This will be my 4th solo trip. My mother thinks I am totally nuts, or worse. She thinks Greece sounds dangerous because it is near the middle east; she thinks that I shouldn’t travel anywhere, but that if I do travel, I should go with an organized group. She doesn’t know that Rick Steves tours exist, but this is the sort of tour she is thinking of. My judgment - she thinks my judgment is wrong - is that I would feel out of place if the people on a tour were all 60-90 years old, or much younger than me; I am on a strict diet now and I want to buy most of my own food at whatever markets or grocery stores are available; I probably will want to join on or more guided tours that ech last no more than a few hours; my mother is 64, but she has never ridden in an airplane - she is afraid of flying; she grew up in the ghetto in the city of Detroit where the crime and murder rate is higher than average; I don’t smoke or drink, I will not be seeing prostitutes or trying to hook up with strange women, I am not into partying but there is a chance I will will be walking around after dark - I am currently thinking of traveling in October but the last two weeks of December would work better with my work schedule because my work is normally closed for 10 or 11 days at the end of December.

I don’t think any of you will tell me that traveling alone is dangerous, but I just want to make sure; I want to avoid feeling like I am doing something wrong or dangerous for walking around alone given that my mother feels like my traveling is “half-cocked”, like I “have a screw loose”, am “totally nuts”, “have no sense”, “have no sense of personal saftey”, and so on. Does Greece seem more or less dangerous than the 3 other countries I visited?

Posted by
1123 posts

While I wouldn’t discourage you from taking a rick Steve’s tour (I am a couple years older than you and usually the youngest on the Tours, but I enjoy them immensely and do not even notice the age differences), I think it’s wntirely feasible to do this on your own as well.

My advice to you: kiss your mother on both cheeks and then book your travel. 😉😉

Posted by
2456 posts

Mike, I was in Greece for 3 weeks this past June, about half traveling alone, and the other half on a RS Tour. I was once 34 myself, but that was decades ago, alas. I had a wonderful time, and encountered no safety problems or concerns at all in Greece, whether in Athens or anywhere else. Of course Athens, nearby places, and many other spots in Greece are chock-full of historical sites and great experiences. I was very impressed with the high level of English speaking among the Greeks of all ages. I understand Greek students have all studied English from the early grades, for many years now. I do find that traveling alone for very long gets lonely, so I now travel part on my own, and part with a tour. You could do either, the tours and guides are terrific. On my Greek Tour, 7 of our 26 people were under 40. By the way, if the Rick Steves company and their guides understand your food restrictions in advance, they will make great efforts to assure your needs are met in group meal settings on a tour.

Posted by
10111 posts

Mike - have a wonderful time in Greece and don't let your mother make you rethink your plans. Sadly she sounds like her life experiences haven't opened her up to the wonders of travel. Yours have, and you have had enjoyable travels already and will continue to do so. You're fine going on your own!! (Although RS tours do appear to me to be good value and well run.)

Posted by
14916 posts

At 34 I was fortunate enough to go Europe again, having been absent from traveling there for seven years primarily due to the lack of finances. I went solo at 34, as I had done on two my previous three trips in my 20s. .... "totally nuts" ," have no sense" and more....I've heard all that. In 1969 Peggy Lee had the song, "Is that all there is?" How true. as respects to such comments. I still go solo most of the time. At 21 I went over for the first time, the 12 week trip, solo, first time away from home, first time on an airplane too.

Bottom line is you will see guys and women traveling solo at the train stations, in your hotels, or hostel. Now, if they can do it, why can't you? Unless you think they have something over you or you're somehow different from them.

Posted by
5532 posts

Tell your mum that Greece is nowhere near the Middle East, it isn't affected by events in the Middle East (other than refugees from Syria) and that it's perfectly safe. I've experienced nothing but pleasurable experiences in Greece and in neighbouring Turkey and I would have no problems whatsoever with taking my two young children there.

Posted by
11613 posts

Hi, MikeL, good to see that you are still going to travel!

Greece is great any time of year, but you may find transportation to some of the islands difficult in December. If you can go during the spring/summer/fall, you will have easier access to more of the country.

Your mom is going to worry no matter what, so continue planning!

Great fresh fruits and veggies in Greece, too.

Posted by
15777 posts

Greece at Christmastime could be a good plan, probably much milder weather than Detroit, and if there's a little snow, that would just make the Parthenon a little more special. People live on the islands, so there will be regular transportation though it would be interrupted by inclement weather.

There are a couple of RS tours in October, but I think they are expensive for you since the price includes fairly upscale hotels and a goodly number of meals.

I think Greece is safer than Italy, safer than London.

And just between us, you've proved that your mother is wrong by your previous trips. If I remember right, the worst things that happened to you in Italy were minor and mostly because of imperfect planning/knowledge - which happens to all of us (to me over and over, sadly).

Posted by
2689 posts

As a solo female traveler a decade plus older than you, I've heard it all and then some from my mom and coworkers and friends and even strangers. My mom worries too....but after my third or fourth trip she stopped saying so and just worries on the inside. Since I know she still worries, I do a few things to keep her in the loop while I'm on the road. I keep a daily blog so she can follow along. I send emails every couple of days. And since I usually travel in May, I call on Mother's Day (which freaks her out because she thinks it is too expensive, but I do it anyway). My mom and dad always want to take me to the airport and drop me off. I have a million other ways to do this but I think this is their way of keeping track of me until they have to let me go. I've traveled all over Europe and some in SE Asia (during a civil uprising in Thailand) and haven't had any problems using my common sense and being aware of my surroundings.

As for the RS Tour question, I've done four solo (I was between ages of 33 and 43) and was usually the youngest. That said, I never felt like the "kid" and have enjoyed the company of some lovely, intelligent, curious travelers that I keep in touch with to this day. If you're not a tour guy, do your own thing.

Posted by
2768 posts

You will be fine! If you WANT a tour, by all means take one, but your reasons for wanting to go on your own are perfectly sound. Especially the food part - tours have group meals and special diets are accommodated, but I seem to recall another post where you went into more specifics about your diet and...that would be hard on a tour. Staying in apartments or hostels with kitchen access would be good and not usually a part of a tour (again, if you WANTED a tour you could call them and see what could be done).

Walking after dark is not a problem. Lots of p eople are out and about into the evening in most towns, including those in Greece. Mediteranean culture involves being out walking and socializing until fairly late. I've seen it in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and it's so much fun. Wandering dark alleys at 3AM is not a great idea anywhere, but walking to your hotel at 11PM is not a concern at all. I don't travel alone, but I do go out on my own fairly often, at night or during the day. I'm a fairly small woman and have never felt unsafe. Closest I came was later at night in the market in Palermo, Sicily - and it was perfectly fine, I was just letting other people's concerns about Sicily color my sense of safety. So don't let other people who haven't been there get into your head - use normal precautions and get on with it!

I don't know the specific statistics, but Greece seems no less or more safe than the rest of Europe. I wouldn't give it a second thought besides normal precautions one would take anywhere in the world. Greece may be even safer as far as pickpockets than Rome or Naples (again, no statistics, just my sense). Physical safety will be similar - i.e. extremely safe, much safer than Detroit! Athens, like all big cities, has some iffy areas, but there's no reason to go to those - the sights you will want to see aren't in bad areas.

Posted by
1825 posts

I hope the irony of living in Detroit and worry about safety abroad is not lost on you. I think you should take up drinking, different foods and strange women in an effort to "travel lighter" by dumping all that baggage you carry from your mom. Wanting to visit Greece doesn't make me think you're crazy.

Posted by
1005 posts

I've been on three RS tours, and single men have been on two of them. They fit in well with the rest of the group, and I think they had a great time. I would recommend that you consider the taking the Rick Steves tour and then adding on some of the Greek Islands on your own. I've traveled alone, and loneliness is one of the main drawbacks. Being on a tour, you'll be able to interact with others who are just as excited and amazed with the Parthenon as you are.

Posted by
5398 posts

I'm going to agree with Emma's comments. Didn't we go through the same things with your earlier Italy trip? If you do your research, you won't find much difference between Italy and Greece when it comes to personal safety, except that Greece may in fact be safer. As for your mother - this is something you will have to deal with on your own. Not something anyone else can do for you.

Regarding joining a tour group, I think that your unusual dietary preferences would make this impractical. You will likely be better off going solo and occasionally getting a day tour for certain areas/sites.

Posted by
2154 posts

Mike,
NO WHERE is completely safe in the world. You sound like a well-educated person who has access (as a librarian) to all sorts of media where you can read/research.

NO ONE ELSE can make decisions for you.

Assuming you have researched this forum, since you have posted here before, you generally know that fellow posters will ENCOURAGE travel (except to active war zones). So, I assume, you are just looking for lots of strangers to tell you to take the trip (to counter-balance your mom telling you not to travel).

You have to ask yourself what YOUR goals are in life. Will you regret not going more than going?

You could stay home and randomly be killed or harmed in your own country. Could something bad happen to you in travels, yes....that could happen. But, likely you will have no problems whatsoever (just as I assume you had no problems on your previous three trips).

Did you do a Trip Report on the forum for your Italy trip? Many of us, I'm sure, would like to read it. Maybe it would be encouraging for your mom to read it, too.

But, it boils down to whether you want to live your life the way your mother would have you live it, or the way YOU want to live it.

I'm not a professional counselor, but perhaps someone like that could help you to sort thru your decision-making on an individual level.

Posted by
7053 posts

Just curious, Mike....what does your Dad say about your travel ideas? And are you an only child? Your Mother seems to be putting an unusually heavy emotional burden on you for wanting to do very normal things and demonstrating your autonomy as an adult. At some point, parents need to let their (adult) children exercise their wings without judgment or despair. And yes, you will be fine on your 4th solo trip, and I'm sure you'll have a great time. Given the wide availability of fresh, healthy food in Greece, I think you'll really enjoy food shopping there.

Posted by
2682 posts

If you have already made 3 successful trips then clearly you know a thing or two about travelling solo. I just booked my 7th solo trip and while I haven't been to Greece, I wouldn't hesitate to go. If you enjoy doing your own thing and have dietary restrictions I agree with the others who say maybe an organized group might not suit your style, though the occasional guided day trip can be the best way to see a place that's not easy to get to otherwise.

You don't need your mom's approval, and to me it sounds like maybe she is irrationally fearful for your safety--parents can be that way, mine worry when I go (they have never tried to dissuade me) but they know I can take care of myself and we stay in contact every couple of days; I am 53 and they are early 80s so that works for us.

Posted by
11613 posts

I applaud MikeL's desire to keep traveling. I have gotten much "advice" from well-meaning friends about my travel style (Turkey as a solo woman, etc.), I just ignore it.

Posted by
1032 posts

My dad is 68, and doesn’t relate well with people; he vascilates between over pat statements like, “you just better be darn careful, whatever you do”, and enthused statements or questions like, “oh, so what do plan to see?” Before I went to Italy, he gave me a 4-page list of safety guidelines meant for government employees. My brother went to Israel twice, before he had his two sons. That is his only travel outside the northeast USA and southeast Canada. Once he went on a group tour, the other time with his girlfriend/wife. He is 4 1/2 years younger than me. One aunt agrees with my mother. Another aunt and several relatives agree that there is nothing wrong with me planning a trip to greece.

I don’t intuitively feel like traveling alone is dangerous. I am just trying to avoid feeling like I am doing something I should not be doing. When walking, I normally am careful not to let people run into me or get too close to me. In italy, I went around with a small backpack with a drawstring closure with water, some food, a grocery bag, and so on; I held it in front of me on the subway; I think I am always aware of when people are geting close to me. I have always had a sort of phobia of interacting with people, but I am doing much better now than when I was a kid and whatever remaining anxiety I have seems to disappear when I travel - this could be because I expect to rarely talk to other people on my trips, and/ or because phobias are not rational and all people have hipocracies and contradictions. I did post a sort of report about my trip to Italy. I have not gotten mugged or robbed or attacked on any of my trips.

I live near Detroit; normally I try to not follow local news; 7 months before I moved into my current apartment, there was a shooting/ murder in one of the parking lots of this apartment complex, and last month the county sheriff’s department came to take away the women in an apartment in my building, for selling pills or bothering the rest of us with their marijuana smoking; I suspect that in the neighborhoods around me, the per capita crime rate is higher than the (touristy) areas I expect to visit in Athens, or other sites in Greece.

Posted by
1825 posts

If you wanted to hear some counterpoints to your families views, you came to the right place. After three trips it's strange you still have the same anxieties but if writing about it here helps you move forward for your next trip than the forum is doing good. Have you discovered any new foods or habits on your previous trips?

Posted by
8293 posts

Okay, Mike ... here is some blunt advice. Stop listening to your parents, your aunts, your brother and all other kin. Make your plans, (lots of help available here for that), buy your flight tickets, book your hotels and go. Brook no nonsensical comments from anyone. Just do it.

Posted by
1032 posts

At the risk of seeming nuts, I will defend my current position of traveling alone instead of on a group tour:

The Rick Steves Greece tour exceeds my budget of $3,000 us dollars, or less in Euros. That $3,000 is supposed to include round trip airplane tickets, sites, loging places, and so one.

Food: I have no known health problems, no diagnosed alergies. My great-grandfather with my same last name had a heart attack and died when he was 39. I am currrently on a diet consisting mainly of fruit, although I will try not to be obsessive compulsive about it. I went off diet sightly in Italy - I had 6 or more portions of prepaired food recipes containing rice, fish, and once some kind of patty covered in tomato sauce. I normally eat 4, 5, or 6 little meals in a day. To me, the purpose of a restaurant is just to have a place to sit with people you are with and talk to them, not to eat so-called delicious food. I developed a compulsion where I can’t eat unless I brush and floss or at least floss good and rinse my mouth good, immediately after I eat. A group would leave a site exactly when they planed to leave and if I missed the tour bus because I was eating or taking care of my teeth, I would feel like I am screwed or worse (and it would not be the group’s problem). When I am on my own, if I missed a bus or train, oh well, there is probably another one coming soon and it is not like I inconvenienced anybody. Not participating in group activities on a group tour is seriously wrong because then you are wasting the money you spent on the tour.

(For unknown irrational reasons, contrary to what we would expect, maybe from doing some talking while staying in hostels, or maybe because I didn’t feel I would need to talk on my previous trips), my loneliness was lower, possibly much lower or non-existant, during my previous travel.

Posted by
14916 posts

It is good to go alone. You learn to rely on yourself and to be alone. You set your own pace in contrast to a tour. Of course, there are times with someone around (I mean under normal circumstances) it's advantageous, likewise conversely. Basically, you have to know what you are doing. The last three trips from three weeks to over seven in the last three years I went solo. Next summer most likely solo too since I am working on the itinerary.

Posted by
7175 posts

My first trip to Europe was for 6 weeks when I was 22. My sister was living in London but I spent one month solo on the continent with a Eurail Pass. No emails or mobile phones back then for daily checkin. My parents weren’t phased, as most young Australians do this sort of thing as a rite of passage. You learn just as much about yourself as the places you choose to visit. What are you worried about? Just do it.

Posted by
4067 posts

At the risk of seeming nuts, I will defend my current position of
traveling alone instead of on a group tour:

Why in the world would you consider that nuts? Please erase that from your mind. Many of us would never DREAM of experiencing a visit to Europe being stuck on a tour bus with 30 North Americans. Rick Steves travel books along with Fodors, Lonely Planet and countless others make traveling on your own not only fun and easy but as Rick writes throughout all his books, you can travel through the "Back Door" and experience opening your horizons by being with local people. I am a lady who has been traveling on her own to Europe since my early 20s; I am now in my upper 40s. Sometimes my husband is able to travel with me; sometimes he cannot. Escape the yoke of having others like your mother instill uninformed fears of a normal travel vacation especially as you are a man in your 30s.

Posted by
1825 posts

I suggest starting with a visit to Pribor in the Czech Republic.

Posted by
14916 posts

@ David/Brisbane....Exactly my experience in 1971 when I was 21 for the first trip (solo) over of 12 weeks....no smart phones, no GPS, no e-mails, no ATMs, no internet, no cell phones, no google translator app....those were the days, those lovely times.

Posted by
7175 posts

Fred, I had forgotten the complex money situation, juggling so many different currencies, and relying on travellers cheques over ATMs.
Yes indeed, those were the days.

Posted by
1032 posts

Thanks for your replies. You are right if you think traveling with a whole-trip tour group would be logistically simpler than planning a trip on my own, but my preference is to travel on my own. If I had a woman friend/girlfriend/wife, I probably would see if she could take a travel somewhere with me, but she would have to contribute about as much money as I would contribute, and then the budget would go from $3,000 to $6,000, but not all of that amount would have to be spent just for the sake of blowing money.

Posted by
432 posts

Solo female traveller butting in here. I quite often start a 5-6 week trip to Europe with a week in a tour group, especially if I can find one with numbers limited to 12-14 to a place I'd like to to visit but where I don't speak the language. Coming straight from a long-haul flight from Australia, it's easier to slot into group travel when still jet-lagged than to strike out directly on my own.

After that, it's such a relief to be travelling alone, at my own pace, but then I do prefer to be in a country where I do speak the language. For me, that's France.

The last 10 days I usually spend visiting my sister, where I can have a good rest, get some washing done (borrowing her clothes if I need to), and tell all my traveller's tales to an interested listener, as no-one will be interested once I'm back in Australia.

Posted by
12313 posts

I think Greece will be pretty dead in October. IMO It's more of a summer/beach destination. It might be fine if what you really had in mind was historical sights only. Italy is great in October. Since you've been there, I'd say southern Spain would be really nice that time of year. It's past the hot weather season and everything will be open. Spain has a lot of history too and is one of the cheaper places to visit in Europe.

I personally prefer traveling alone. I don't have to please anyone else. I get to pick where I want to go, where I want to eat and when I'm done for the day. I also go at my own pace.

If your set on Greece. First thing is to consider all the sights, then narrow it to those you most want to see. I'd check out hostels or small hotels and ferry schedules to get to any islands you want to visit. Be ready for seasonal closures and/or limited schedules.

Posted by
163 posts

Mike,

I know nothing of Greece but I am exceptionally close with my family and have the safety conversation often. Not just my parents (67 & 64) but also my oldest sister. (My husband just asks when he should be at the airport to pick me up - he has great faith in me!)

I was lucky enough to invite my mom along for one trip and that has helped tremendously but I will fill you in on the best tip I have. Offer them the log in information to your "Find my iPhone" or whatever equivalent app your phone has.

Everyone who hears this from me has an opinion ranging from "oh that's smart" to "you're kidding, that's ridiculous" but the thing is - it makes my parents feel better about one of their kids being alone in a foreign country (even at 40!). I've got nothing to hide while exploring and frankly, I feel very lucky to be loved enough that people worry about me. Letting them log in and see I'm visiting a cemetery or have stopped back at my hotel seems like a very tiny concession to know that if I were to have trouble - they'd do whatever was needed to resolve said issue.

Posted by
1878 posts

Sounds as if our family influences are similar, just not curious about the world. I come from the worry family with a heightened awareness of what could go wrong. My dad's motto was "see America first," which is ironic because I have seen a lot more of America than he has, in addition to 16 Europe vacation trips and lots in Asia and Europe both on business. I traveled to Italy a year ago on my own because the opportunity presented itself on short notice, and my wife could not join. It was very enjoyable being able to do whatever I wanted. I pushed myself way to hard physically and my feet hurt for ten days when I got back. I am a fit early-50s and I like the fact that I will still push myself hard to see one more thing. My sense is that more women than men travel alone, not sure why. There is no reason to think it's dangerous, although an extra set of eyes to watch for pickpockets is handy. Greece might not be the easiest country to travel alone in, though. A lot of places would best be visited with a rental car, and after researching it I would not want to drive in Greece. My wife and visited on a cruise out of Athens in 2011 that also went to several islands. It was not a bad way to get to a lot of places (some outside of Greece) that were not easy to get to, and which did not necessarily merit a multi-day visit. One negative about traveling alone, it's definitely more expensive as a single room is significantly more than half as much as a double.

Posted by
8159 posts

One negative about traveling alone, it's definitely more expensive as a single room is significantly more than half as much as a double.

you are speaking for yourself

Posted by
432 posts

Mike L: consider starting off with a trip like this and then make the most of the tour leader's expertise to plan the rest of your available time on your own. (She's English but living in Greece and married to a Greek.) Note that the tour is limited to a max. of 14 participants, far smaller than RS tours.

Posted by
11613 posts

On the other hand, if a travel partner has higher-end tastes, it can be less expensive to travel alone. And I would not want to share a room again, anyway.

Posted by
1117 posts

Hi Mike,

I remember your similar questions about your Italy trip some time ago.

You survived Italy, so why on earth would you be worried about Greece? I would consider Greece a lot safer than Italy.

You can be pickpocketed anywhere on earth, just observe the usual precautions especially in the big cities, and you'll be fine. In more rural or island places the most dangerous thing I have run into were two viciously barking dogs.

Everything else has already been said in your Italy thread; just read up on that.
.

Does Greece seem more or less dangerous than the 3 other countries I
visited?

There is an easy answer to that: The most dangerous of those three countries you have visited is the fourth.

The most dangerous place - by far! - you have ever visited is: Detroit.

Posted by
1117 posts

@ Jazz+Travels: Just wondering... what do you mean by "you are speaking for yourself"?

It's common knowledge that single rooms generally are more than half the price of a double room.

If your experiences are different, I am sure all single travelers in this forum would love to hear of exceptions to this rule, or be pointed to a link or thread with a list of hotels.

Posted by
11613 posts

I took Jazz' comment to mean that other expenses may vary whether one travels alone or with a friend/partner/family member. I can bare-bones a meal if I feel like it, but I would feel I should defer to a companion who wants a sit-down dinner (raising the cost).

Posted by
5183 posts

To put things in perspective with regard to "Does Greece seem more or less dangerous...?", I think you astutely and accurately answered your own question when you later stated "I suspect that in the neighborhoods around me, the per capita crime rate is higher than the (touristy) areas I expect to visit...". Mike, you have become an experienced traveler who seems to exercise good judgement and, while there are no absolute guarantees about anything, continue doing as you have been and you should be just fine. Greece is a wonderful place. Enjoy!!

Posted by
14916 posts

If one travels solo in Germany and Austria , it is still very easy to get a single (EZ) for less than 50 Euro per night when it comes to staying in Pensionen and two star hotels small hotels located in big cities. I travel solo there.

Posted by
7 posts

I'm probably beating a dead horse at this point of the comments, but you live in possibly the most dangerous city in America! Coming from Detroit, I think that Greece will feel safe to you. And I wouldn't say that Greece is "more" dangerous than the other places you visited- it is actually a very enjoyable place to travel to.
This is embarrassing to admit, but the first time I went to Paris alone, I fell into a blackhole of researching crime, terrorist attacks, gypsies, etc, to the point where I barely enjoyed myself for the first couple of days I was there. And I found that I actually felt more safe in Paris than I ever did in many large US cities.
So just go for it! Anything can happen anywhere, even in the safest of places. I feel that the more you worry about it and question if you should do it, the less enjoyable the trip/ planning the trip is.
As for your families opinions.. they seem like they would understand your continued travels. Best of luck!