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Setting ground rules to avoid conflict

Hello, I'm going for 21 days in September to visit a friend who lives in Germany. I want to know how to politely set ground rules with the friend I am traveling with. I am a 30 year old female and my friend is male. This is important as I want it to be clear to him I am not interested in him romantically. I've already let him know that I am just there for vacation but I have a feeling he thinks something will happen. I just want to have a fun vacation.

Posted by
6 posts

I should also say the reason I am seeking this advice is that I am a very blunt person and that sometimes does not work well. I know there are folks who know how to handle these things more politely than I might.

Posted by
389 posts

I think bluntness is a good quality. I've met many a male/female friend traveling together in Europe and they seemed to be very comfortable about/with their situation. I guess I would say what you said here, "I don't want this trip to be ruined by any misunderstandings, so I'd just like to be clear that I have no romantic intentions and hope that you feel the same way." This not only makes clear your intentions but puts him on the spot to make clear his. If he says anything besides, "no, that's what I thought," or something like that, you might want to re-think these plans.

Posted by
705 posts

Linda's advice is spot on. Be polite but quite clear or else you leave the whole thing open to interpretation.

Posted by
4555 posts

As a guy, I appreciate bluntness with a smile...that'll ensure the ground rules are understood before anything even gets started.

Posted by
1449 posts

Being very clear is a good idea, but it might have been better to have done so before your friend agreed to go on the trip so he could have decided whether he wanted to go knowing in advance nothing romantic would happen.

Posted by
23 posts

Neither one of you should drink alcohol on this trip. At least not at the same time.

Posted by
342 posts

Right on! Nothing good ever comes with the consumption of booze! 8-)

Posted by
46 posts

This doesn't have to do with your particular situation, but a little advice for any single women traveling in Europe: Buy a cheap ring with a cubic zirconia and put it on your ring finger. If any guy makes you uncomfortable, point it out. If there's a guy you're interested in, take it off.

Posted by
24 posts

a little white lie saying there is "this guy" that you are interested in who lives down the block might also help...