Say it Ain't So.....a bit more.

I don't think we were separated from our kids for more than a few hours for several years. Certainly not for 2 weeks. Depends on the Grandma, I suppose. But we would not have felt comfortable doing that. Especially with the first baby, there is a tendency not to want to let them out of your sight for too long. You get a bit more relaxed with the second one. I'm sceptical that your wife would go for it. Don't worry, amigo, you will bond with the baby and find yourself feeling the same way. My experience, for what it is worth.

I guess we didn't bond. Are we cold and uncaring? We didn't leave the boys with the grandparents until they were walking and talking - just to make it easier. Left first son with grandparents once for a month while we were relocating. After that we often left them for two to three weeks when in the range of 4 to 8 years when we traveled. Grandparents love it, kids loved it, and to this day they often recall that some of their best memories were from this time. We as a family or individually have never had much of a problem with the "What if" questions. If you allow the 1 in a 1000, 1 in a million chance to control your life, then you will never do much. The greatest risk for personal injury on the whole trip is the drive to the airport so we walk but it does add a lot time to the trip. The one problem we did have is the lament from my mother who was disappointed that we would not leave the boys with her when they hit the 10 year old mark and began to travel with us. We knew they would be bored with her at that age.

Zach, speaking as a mother & grandmother. Our first trip overseas was when our girl's were 14 & 16(now 37 & 34) & left them with both grandmothers. It was still a little hard but we managed. It was my MIL who wouldn't let the girl's eat peanut butter because they might "choke". I think it was more stressful for them than us but it sure felt good to get home & see our daughters. My husband & I kept my grandson at age 1 for #1 daughter & SIL to go on a skiing trip here in the States & I can't explain the responsibility you feel keeping that little one. So IMP it all depends on your & the grandparents comfort zone. My husband & I have travelled alot more since those days but it still is great coming back home & seeing our girl's & now with grandchildren it's also great coming home to see them. I'm going on a "girl's trip" with 5 other ladies in April 2012 to Paris, Bruges & Amsterdam for 2 weeks but I will leave behind a brand new grandson due March 28 to daughter #2. I'm sure I'll be glad to come back home & see that precious baby along with my girl's, SIL's & hubby.

My husband and I took two trips and left a one-year old behind. I think one-year olds are at the absolutely worst age to travel I'd rather stay home than go on vacation with a one-year old. The first trip was when our oldest was one. We went to Washington D.C. and Williamsburg for six days and left the baby with my mother, who was thrilled. I wasn't happy to leave the baby behind, but it was heaven to be by ourselves for that time. The second trip was when our youngest was almost a year. We took our oldest, aged 4, to DisneyWorld for a week and left the baby with my mother-in-law. I was really upset at leaving the baby, and was sorry I had planned the trip. However, once I got there, it was as much fun as I've ever had, and I was so glad we went without the baby. I would not have gone for two weeks; I just couldn't bear to be away from the baby for that long. However, if I had done it, I suspect I would have survived. Once you get away, it's a lot easier than you expect. If your wife already feels like she doesn't want to do it, you may have trouble talking her into this. You might want to try a long weekend first.

You are wise and thoughful to be considerate of your wife's feelings on the subject. But every one is different, and while others may tell their stories, you (meaning both of you) will have to write your own. FWIW, I am in the camp of those who could not bear to leave my children behind while they were young. And I say that with no judgment intended to whose who could. It just would have been horrible for me. But it was a fairly moot point, since we couldn't really afford much travel in those days. What little travel we did (mostly camping, plus visits to the grandparents) involved the kids as well.

Our kids are 16 and 13 now. But when they were young, yes, we did leave them for varying amounts of time with both sets of grandparents. Maybe only one trip was two weeks. I think the first trip was a week to France when our son was about 2, after I went through a very busy time at work. I'm the mom. Neither kids has expressed any feelings of abandonment; when they're real young, they won't even remember you were gone! I hope they have good memories of spending time with their grandparents. At the time, both the kids and the grandparents had a great time together, and I viewed it as a special time that the grandparents were able to have with their grandkids. It's theoretical that something could happen when you're gone, but that's always a possibility. I missed the kids some, but it made me appreciate them more when I returned. We travelled before they were born and after. When they were younger, mostly in the U.S., but never the "rent a house on the beach" sort of place - usually we visited U.S. cities. They loved it, so did we. Each of our kids began travelling to Europe with us when they were 10. My daughter said last year that she was glad we did it that way, because she could appreciate it when she did go - and she LOVES foreign travel now! There are a number of U.S. trips that she went on that she doesn't remember (because she was young), and that bothers her. Down side to lots of European travel - where they really want to go is Asia, but we haven't exhausted our interest in Europe. We tell the poor, deprived children that they'll just have to go to Asia when they're grown up, on their own dime!

Some of you have really nice parents.. lol My mom used to say " I raised my kids now you raise yours",, that said,, she did babysit for special occaisons,, since I would not leave my kids with a sitter till they were 3 or 4 ,, wanted them to be able to talk and tell me all about what went on when we went out the door! My MIL did take our 2 year old for 5 days when I was expecting our second child and we did a quick trip to Hawaii,, he liked staying with his grandparents and didn't fuss about us going at all. My second son could not be left with anyone for more then a few hours,, till he was TEN .. he went to stay over night at nanas ,, just like his older brother always did,, but by end of first day wanted to come home. So ,, its up to your child how easy it would be to leave them.. personally I would never leave a baby for 2 weeks ,, but when all my kids were 3, 7 and 9 I went to Europe for 2 weeks and left them with their dad,, which didn't really bother me at all!!

We "regularly" left our children with my husbands parents for 1 week or a little more. And my parents would taken them on extended "local" (seldom more than 4 hours away, but for a week or so at a time)vacations. ANd we ALL loved it. We went on an Alaskan cruise when our son was less than a year old and our daughter was about 9 years old. We went to Europe several times before they were old enough (we felt) to go with us. We took our daughter with us for her first European trip when she was 11 (brother stayed with the grandparents as he was only 3). Our son started his international travel when he was about 10. We enjoyed the time to reconnect as a couple. the granparents loved time "alone" with the kids, and the kids loved time with them. And this was before cell phones! We usually called about mid-trip to check in. They had copies of our itenerary and could call if needed (never did). We left letters giving them permission to "seek and authorize" medical care. We were lucky that our parents were still relatively young and had the stamina to care for them.

On the rare occasion when I was able to leave my children and go off on vacation child-free, I had no compunction whatsoever. I left them in good and loving hands and I returned anxious to be reunited with them but totally guiltless.

I have an 18-month old, and while we haven't ventured across the pond yet (we're hoping for 2013, when she'll be 3 1/2), we have left her at Grandma's for weekends and suchI think we once left her for almost a week. My advicetry it out first for a weekend. The first time we left our daughter was for a long weekend in a city just an hour's drive away (and she was less than a year old at the time). I worried and stressed, and when we got home, she was happy as a clam, and completely safe. We were close enough that we could have rushed right home if we needed to. I also agree with a previous poster that if you worry to much about the small risk, you won't live, but do what you're comfortable with. That's where trying it out for a close, long weekend really comes in handy. Kids are fun! It's totally worth it, don't worry. :-)

I would never consider leaving my girls for two weeks. They were 5 and 7 when they went on their first trip to England....it was great, they loved it and we loved having them with us. Now my oldest daughter (33) has a beautiful 4 yr old daughter, they only person she leaves Daisy with is me, but she won't leave her longer then one night....she just doesn't want to be away from Daisy.

I think another factor when considering leaving a young child with a grandparent is how close that child is to their grandparent. In some families grandparents are very much part of a childs everyday life, right from the beginning, in others ,, grandparents are visited at Christmas and in the summer for a week,, so not someone the child may be as comfortable being left with. If grandma is changing diapers and feeding baby from birth on a daily or other every day basis,, then being "left" with them is not that traumatic,, much like when I left my kids with my hubby,, sure, I missed them,, but they were perfectly happy to be at home with daddy .

Another view. We travelled a lot with the kids on car/pickup trips up until teenage years. Then we had to wait until they were out of the house and on their own, and the last pet died before we took up serious travel. That was when we were in our fifties. By that time our life experiences let us enjoy our journeys more because we were able to establish a good foundation of knowledge about the places we visit. In the fourteen years we have been journying we've been to Scotland six times, India, Llasa and Chendu, Luzon, forty-one days around western Europe, and forty-six days from Istanbul to Amsterdam. All by public transportation. What I'm saying is don't worry. Your biggest job is to raise the offspring in a good and productive manner. Once you get married and have kids your priorities are more geared to what the family wants and needs, not to what you want. You have to do what's best for the family.

Honestly, the longest I've ever left mine is one night. I can't really see more than a couple nights without my kids (4 and 1) for quite a few years. They are a handful, and I'd worry even though the grandparents are more than capable. Since this is our comfort level, we've worked hard to have good traveling children. They're not perfect and restaurants are their weak point, but they are awesome on planes and in museums, so we're doing OK. We just eat in more casual, family spots and have plenty of picnics, which sends us into local markets and allows us to shop like locals do, so it's OK. Obviously others feel differently, and this isn't a value judgement - as long as the kids are with someone trusted, it's all good.

We started with short 1-3 night stays away from the kids when they were as young as 6 months. Though my parents didn't live near us, we were lucky that they were willing and able to come out a few times a year and they were happy to take care of the kids. Our first overseas trip was when they were 2&4. We were gone for 9 days and that was maybe a bit too long for the first time-I really missed them by day 8. We took 3 more trips without them, never for longer than 10 days, ie be home ON the 10th day. These were really good for everyone, especially my mom who really liked it best when we would leave! I am the grandma now and my grand kids have been left for 2-6 days and though my daughter in law says that the first time she missed them terribly, it has gotten a little easier and she believes in the importance of alone time for parents. And that is exactly how I felt - it was important for our relationship that we have time together when we were NOT being mom & dad. This (barely) outweighed my sadness in leaving my kids. We traveled with our kids from the time they were 1 month old - with flights of up to 5 hours, almost always to see family. Our first trip to Europe with them was when they were 9&11 and it was great! So you do have some really fun family travel to look forward to. But be gentle with your wife and put the longer trips on hold for a while.

One example for us was leaving our two year old daughter at Grandma's in San Diego while we took the other three kids into Mexico for a month. In addition to other things I mentioned before, we were worried that she may be too small to easily recover from a foodborne illness or other sickness on the road. Our oldest was 14 then, and had been on multiple trips with us. She was horrible that trip, and it was her last. She still complains about missing trips with us but she knows why. So maybe consider Grandma's for older kids who won't travel well too. I guess my perspective is, why spend thousands taking a child to Europe if they won't appreciate it or worse, keep everyone else from appreciating it?

We faced this question with our three children several years ago. First we considered taking one child at a time with us, thinking that over the course of three trips in 4-8 years, each child would get a turn at a once-in-a-lifetime sort of experience. Then we thought that we could take the oldest two but then try to leave the then-4-year-old home with grandma, thinking that he might not remember much anyway. But there was no way we could have fun on a trip with the distraction of having one family member left behind. So we brought them all along and had so much fun that we have done it five years in a row now. I would suggest that when the tykes are too young to remember much, you "practice" taking trips together by seeing things in the good ol' USA. I am convinced that our numerous pre-2007 road trips made it possible for the children to become good travelers when they got older. Then you can take them abroad with confidence and without the worry that it would be a waste of money and distraction from your adult aspirations. Having said that, I should confess that we are not prone to doing things on our trips that would be inherently difficult with children. We don't do fine dining. We don't go clubbing. We don't bike or hike across long distances. We generally enjoy doing things that any reasonably fit and intellectually curious child would be also able to do.

My mom and dad left me with my grandmother when I was about 8 months old. I've teased them mercilessly for years, but we all seemed to have survived with no lasting trauma to mother father or daughter. They were gone 2-3 weeks in May. As I was growing up my grandmother moved in with us and my mom and dad would take at least two trips a year on their own. They were work related, but I know that they enjoyed them. As we got older we would argue with Grammy a lot, we didn't begrudge our parents their trips. We loved hearing all about it when they came back. One suggestion is that you find ways for your children to have overnights on their own early. My sister spent the night next door with a beloved neighbor when she was around 3 or 4. It was an adventure for and the young couple who had their own kids a few years later. Pam