Say it Ain't So...

No way Zach. My daughter & her husband have two beautiful daughters (ages 4 and 1) and still stick to their pact when they were first married: International travel every other year. Sometimes their international travel is close by, i.e. Canada or Mexico, but they do stick to that pact. Also, travel close to home, if you are timid about going to foreign countries with your children. Actually, some of the best trips can be right in your own neighborhood or a quick 2-3 hour flight away. Congratulations! children are a joy

Zach,, no of course your travelling days are not over,, but there will be some changes.. We were those people who always said having kids wasn't going to change our lifestyle too much,, ha ha,, things do change. Well , its now 21 years and three kids later and these are my opinions. Babies are easy travellers ,, until they can crawl,, they just eat, poop , sleep and cry( hopefully not much of that,, lol) So, with a carseat/stroller /snuggli and some extra planning you can go pretty much anywhere, this goes double if you breast feed as then you don't have to worry about the water or taking forumlas.. its the easy phase.. that said, there is the issue of being in a hotel room with a crying baby at 3 am,, worried cause you know the noise may be bothering the people in the next room. So renting an apartment is an easier way to go.. not always practical for one night stops though. Babies are all different,, some really are better travellers,, and thats something you just have to wait and see about,, believe me,, with three kids we found one was easy as pie, adapted well to sleeping in different places etc, but other two were not as easy going. My second son was just flat out difficult. Yes yes,, take their blankets and usual stuff, they still are not comfy.. We flew internationally with first two when oldest was 2 and second one was 6 months,, not too fun,, but it was only a 3 hour flight. We flew with all three when they were 6 , 4 and 5 months,, that was a 6 hr flight, and it was ok,, but tiring for us keeping older two amusing ,, no more sitting and watching the inflight movie for us.. lol When babies are between crawling and 2 yrs old we found long distance travel hardest,, they are too young to control in all situations.. they want to crawl on floors, but floors may be filthy, they still run into traffic etc,, and may not want to sit in stroller for hours at museums. After about 4 or 5 things get easier.

cont. So we did alot more local car trip holidays when kids were toddlers.. to lakes, ski chalets, relatives.. with a few trips to Hawaii or cruises thrown in.. Once kids are school age you are good to go pretty well anywhere ,, if kids are ok with it,, and you have stamina and money( hey those plane tickets add up) so really,, you may have a bit of a travel international slump for 3-4 years but then you are good to go again. We didn't do Europe till kids were older ( youngest was 11) but that was more about our kids personalities ,, I understand some kids are ok with 12 hour flights if you stick a coloring book in front or gameboy in front of them,, lol ,, two of my kids were not that easy.. so heres hoping your child is easy,, and btw ,, its easy with one kid,, you can tag team with wife,, you take care of kid and give her time to shop, or cruise museums,, you hit park with junior etc,, its harder the more kids you have..

Not at all. My wife and I just took our 13-month-old to Italy for two weeks. We had a great time, and everywhere we went people would stop and smile at our daughter. Traveling with a small child is a great way to meet people! We spent a lot more time planning for this trip than previous Europe trips (reserving hotel rooms with cribs and refrigerators, arranging our sightseeing to allow for afternoon naps at the hotel, etc.), but it was well worth it. A good resource we used when planning our trip is http://yourfamilyineurope.com/.

Congratulations, Zach! Your traveling days are not over, but they may change. We stuck to the beach and DisneyWorld (which we love) until the kids were 6 and 10. Then we started going to cities and national parks in the US and Canada. We didn't take them to Europe until they were 12 and 16. In retrospect, we could probably have taken them earlier than that, but then we wouldn't have seen all the great places we've seen in North America. I will say that travel with kids is a little more stressful and a little more expensive, but there are many compensations. Some of my favorite travel memories come from seeing them enjoy things. I've also gone to places I probably wouldn't have gone too without them, and they turned out to be places I really enjoyed. We are now empty nesters. I love traveling with just my husband, but I also miss having the kids with us on our trips.

Absolutely. You will never see Europe again. Sell the cars and get the biggest station wagon you can find. All money now goes to the child. Get a second job or a third one. Of course you can travel. It will be a little different, and you can show her all the great things while enjoying them yourself. Congratulations.

Now that you know how, you should devote your time and money to having more kids.

First off: Congratulations! It's a big responsibility but also very rewarding. Having kids is a big shock to the system and it will likely take a while to get to the point where you are globe-trotting again. Toddlers are tough to travel with. Logistics are more complicated w/ kids and things are more expensive -if only because you don't want to subject your wife and kids to the types of fleabag hotels that you wouldn't have blinked at staying in when you were a single guy. But then again, your earning power will also slowly increase as you knuckle down to become the stable, true-blue, hard-working, good-providing "family hero" that we all aspire to be. Trouble will be: increasingly you will have to align your vacations with the kids school schedule. i.e., expensive peak travel periods. And that's exactly when all the other moms and dads will want time off too. So, you can no longer automatically assume that your leave request will automatically be approved. All of the above having been said, it boils down to what your agreed upon family priorities are. My wife and I are BIG into traveling and plan accordingly. Compromises on other things will have to be made (Big house & fancy toys, not so much). I love being a dad ...but it does force you to raise the level of your game and really define what your priorities are. But if you are a born traveller, you will travel. I'm traveling more with my wife and 2 kids than I have ever travelled in my life. And frankly, I'm dreading the day when Thing One will go off to university and the size of the traveling circus will sadly decrease. 20 years goes by in a flash. Savor every minute with your kids.

This won't be the popular answer but IMO, a visit to Grandma's house, while you vacation, is best for children until they are about five or six. Getting to know Grandparents is a good thing - traveling before they're ready might not be. Our kids were ready to join us when they could carry their own bag, sleep whereever we stayed, eat whatever we ate, be polite and walk a full day (and enjoy it). For us that was six for our oldest and five for the rest. Infants are relatively easy but you wreck their schedule for no good reason. Toddlers are miserable, get nothing from the trip, and ruin the trip for everyone else. For us, having kids was the end of our true backpacking days. We used to hike into the wilderness for extended periods. We still tent camp but, up until a mountain biking trip last year, are never far from a parking lot.

Good points above. We found that it took a few vacations to realize that trips were no longer about us relaxing from work. With kids, they are work. Kids suck money and time like a black hole. So you may not have to worry about traveling much, because you may not have any money. Learn to scale down your expectations. Divide and conquer so both parents can get some alone time. That valuable alone time cuts down on the resentment! Keep everyone fed on a regular basis. Start thinking about your next meal as soon as you've finished the current one. Children have no memories of things that happened before age 3 or so. One daughter does not remember the St. Louis Arch when she was 6. And she's mad that we took her and she can't remember it. You can still take them because you want to go, but do not expect to build memories. Young kids are often happiest with a good playground and a pool. It could be half hour away, they don't care. Camping always gives them things to do. Before they hit school, take some vacations during the school year. After 20 years of summer trips, we'd love an October or May trip. If you try to charge forth with the idea that nothing will alter you, the intrepid traveler, you may be blessed with a child who only sleeps in his own bed. Embrace the humor of parenthood. A good belly laugh can be as relaxing as a day a the beach. And that day at the beach with kids ain't so relaxing.

I just saw Brad's post. You asked us to be gentle. But, truly, he's doing you the greatest kindness by being honest. Listen to him.

I'm with Brad. Yes, of course you can travel, but it will be very different and probably not the greatest idea (there are much more enjoyable things you can do with your time and money) unless you can afford a baby nanny. Take short trips until they are pretty independent in order for any enjoyment to be gotten out of the trip. Believe me, this was a tough pill for me to take, but after being reasoned with by my husband and this group of helpline helpers, I've come to realize that my first across the pond trip will probably be after they start school, so around age 6. I'm hoping that they will have some input into the trip as well (maybe one will love Sound of Music and we'll end up in Salzburg). My brother will be getting married in Oregon next year, and I'm dreading that trip! I have twins toddler age, so I may be a bit more shell shocked than most.
Congrats and enjoy the baby!

Nope, your traveling days are not over. Just keep going and before you know it, your kid(s) will be able to pack their own regulation-sized carry on with everything they need for a week on the road. They'll learn to share your love of travel, learn to deal with the unexpeted, be exposed to other cultures (and learn how much we have in common - or not), gain confidence that they can try new things, and maybe even get inspired to learn a second language. If you're lucky, they'll take an interest in art, mountain climbing, battlefields, ancient civilizations or whatever it is you're seeing at the time. You'll get to see things through the eyes of a child and gain perspective that you didn't have. And you'll learn where every public restroom is, too.

Obviously you are getting the non objective opinions of people telling you what they did.... As there are people on both sides of this issue I suggest that once you decide what works best for you then ask the advice of like-minded people. If you decide to travel with the child you will get lots of advice from those who have done it successfully. If you leave the kids, you have no worries, its all on the grandparents. For the record... I left my son at 18 months old with my sister... we drove about 1000 miles to New Orleans, saw lots of other couples with their children, missed him so much that we stayed a day and a half and drove home. Never did that again. Now, I take the grandkids with me to Europe and leave the parents home.

I can't give an honest opinion that is gentile. People need to examine their priorities sometimes after making a decision to have children.