Fed up with straight-from-the-rucksack tips? Had enough of traveling like a temporary local? Tired of authentic insights, people-to-people connections, and experiencing Europe through the Back Door?
Introducing Europe Through the FRONT Door, Rick's all-new travel skills handbook for the tourist who prefers high prices, predictable tourist traps, and stifling crowds — without any of that annoying, perspective-broadening, learning stuff.
Inside, you'll learn how to:
• Pack heavier: Traveling light, nimble, and in control is for suckers. If there's even the slightest chance you might use it... pack it!
• Stay technophobic: Handy apps, tap-and-go, online tickets, and other terrifying new tech may help you save time, money, and stress — but the old ways are much slower... and feel safer.
• Eat American-style: Tips on how to quickly locate the nearest Golden Arches, Starbucks, and Hard Rock Café ensures you'll never be exposed to new flavors, local specialties, and mom-and-pop eateries. (Yuck!)
• Dress the part: White sneakers, red baseball hat, and stars and stripes head-to-toe... Our recommended Yankee wardrobe will ensure everyone instantly knows exactly where you're from.
• Crowdsource your travels: Locals love to share their best tips... those know-it-alls! To guarantee your trip is an exact replica of what every other tourist is seeing and doing, focus exclusively on the least-informed (but most stylish) influencers.
• Narrow Your Mindset: Mark Twain said, "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness." What an April Fool he was! Front Door travelers never have to worry about their perspectives getting broader...not by one single inch.
So if your idea of a great trip includes staying at a generic chain hotel on the outskirts of town, waiting in the world's longest lines, and annoying your server by demanding ice in your water — or a cappuccino after lunchtime — well, this book is for you.
Keep an eye out for Europe Through the Front Door — available today, and today only.