Queer travellers on Rick Steves Tour

Rick Steves is a more progressive company and tour operator. I think his followers are likely more progressive than the general population. I've only done one tour, but people were friendly and inclusive.

I don't have experience in your situation, but I do have family members and friends that are gay, some nonbinary and a couple trans friends. Sometimes I'll call my friend's trans daughter by her former name/gender, by mistake. She told me that she gives people some grace. I'm certain you already have much experience with this and likely do not need my advice, but sometimes well intentioned people make mistakes.

My impression of the My Way tours are that you would spend less time in the group as site seeing is more on your own.

There are some gay folks that work for Rick Steves, do the Monday Night travel programs and also do some tours. I also know that there are local guides that RS uses that are gay. Perhaps you could contact to RS's office for input.

Based on the three RS tours I've been on, I think everything will go smoothly. I've found RS tour travelers to be warm, friendly, and accepting of everyone in the tour group. With that said, you never know who your specific fellow travelers will be with any tour group company. I don't think you'd have an issue at all with your tour group leader, but consider contacting the RS tour office to alleviate your concerns.

It is a group situation, so if you mix well, are friendly, make an effort to get to know people and can put up with "togetherness", then no problem. If you are wanting to head off on your own and keep to yourself, then that will kindle problems, group tours implies succumbing to the group.

I do think the general RS demographic skews older, a bit more professional and affluent, higher level of education, and maybe left of center, so that helps. I imagine in new situations, pronoun preferences can always be an issue, not maliciously, but subject to a person's habits and their experience with non-binary individuals. Best would be to say something at the introductions, and push for use of their name when addressing.

We’ve been on 5 RS tours and I believe all 5 of the guides we’ve had would be utterly respectful of your wishes. I strongly suspect all the tour mates I’ve run across on these tours would also not be an issue.

And while it was self-evident that my tour mates have skewed more on the liberal side, I certain a few were not. There is always a chance in modern America even with groups the skew liberal, educated, worldly and adventuresome that you’ll find someone who just has to be insistent that it somehow tramples on their rights to be considerate of yours. I doubt it will happen. And if it did, I suspect the RS guide would intervene on your behalf to make peace.

With that said, my faith in the basic decency of my fellow Americans has been shaken lately so I couldn’t tell that there is zero chance. Finally, what I will say is that every RS trip I’ve been on has been rewarding. This is a quality company.

Happy travels!

"I don’t want to spend a lot of money to have my spouse called “she” and be referred to as a “lady” for 11 days."

I don't think any tour operator can effectively put itself in charge of controlling the word choices of tour participants.

A third party who refers to your spouse with "she" or "her" would be in a conversation with you, right? And your spouse would need to be present at this conversation in order to hear these pronouns and to feel offended. Well, it's just plain rude, generally speaking, to be talking about another person in that person's presence. For example... If I'm with my brother and his wife Laura in the same room, I don't just start making comments about her right in front of her, so the chance of my using "she" or "her" in reference to Laura in this conversation are quite slim to begin with.

It's always possible that some jerk with a will to harass others signs up for a tour. But I'm pretty sure that tour leaders are universally trained to handle the rare individual who goes out of their way to be a jerk.

I have been on 12 RS tours and agree with those who say that RS travelers are generally progressive, educated and friendly. Rick Steves himself personifies this attitude and I have found his guides are kind, knowledgeable, inclusive and generally wonderful! I’m sure that there have been gay people on some of these tours. In one case (Best of Paris), there was definitely a gay couple. Six of us, including them, became quite close during that very short period (7 days). As a matter of fact, we are still in contact after eight years!

Tours always start with an introductory meeting where everyone has a chance to introduce themselves. I suggest that you clarify the pronoun preference at that time in a straightforward way. If there is anyone who has a problem with it, you’ll find out soon enough. In a group of up to 28, it’s pretty easy to avoid such a person. Mostly, I think you will find accepting and friendly tour mates, as long as you are too!

On a My Way tour, organized time together is limited, mostly on the bus between locations and orientation walks. I’ve heard that it’s common for people to join others for sightseeing and meals, but that is always optional. You will have a lot of freedom to do what you want with whoever you want.

There are numerous companies offering Gay Group Tours in Europe.

If you go to Google and search "Gay Tours of Europe" you will get many choices.

I have no experience with any of them but it could be a start if you would prefer that.

While most RS tour members can be described as the "PBS crowd," many are older and more set in their ways. So you may get someone who is not up to date with modern pronouns.

Most tour companies don't tout the political persuasions of their owners. Rick Steves regularly makes posts condemning fascism and trying to educate people. Many people are aware of what he and his company stand for, and that leads to more liberal folks booking his tours. So I think that you will find fewer close-minded folks on a RS tour than you might on others. However, most folks who take his tours are older, and the they/them pronouns aren't part of a lifetime of learned behavior - by which I mean, it isn't instinctive for us the way it might be for younger folks. So as long as you're cool if someone has made an obviously unintended mistake I think you'll have a great time on the tour.

I have no doubt that you would be welcomed and included cheerfully on the tour. I have reservations that everyone will remember to use your chosen pronouns. I imagine most will make the effort, but we are pretty much creatures of habit and there are bound to be some slip ups. If those slip ups would offend you, then you have to determine for yourself how you would feel when that happened.

Sometimes pronouns are used more often in a group setting because people have forgotten someone’s name. During the intro, share an easy way to remember the specific name helps everyone, and it would lessen the chance of referring to a person as just a pronoun.

For instance, “Hi, my name is Jean. Yes, my name can also refer to a pair of blue pants!”

For instance, “Hi, my name is Jean. Yes, my name can also refer to a pair of blue pants!”

I love this! I actually introduce myself with a nickname that is easy to understand/pronounce than my real name.

OP - I live in California and work in a field where we need to pay attention to pronouns and be inclusive. But mistakes happen. A colleague from a different company recently shared with me that her teen child had changed the pronoun from "him" to "them". And I've made the mistake in conversations when I asked how "he" was doing with upcoming HS graduation. She was understandable and reminded me that they go by new pronoun. I apologized and we moved along. No hurt feelings. What I'm trying to say is that slips and mistakes can happen but you shouldn't feel offended by it.

We've been on a number of RS Tours and don't think you will experience any problems fitting in with the group as a whole. Almost everyone on our tours has been very open minded, friendly, welcoming, and accepting of others. I used the word "almost" because I'm sure there must have been one or two that were pains in the anatomy, but no more so than society as a whole. My advice is to just go, be yourselves, and enjoy the trip. And do it your way -- pun intended.

I agree with what Carol said.

We would both be welcoming and happy to spend time with you, but I can't even kept the names of all my granddaughters straight sometimes. I casually know a couple men who transitioned to women. The pronoun he still comes to my mind first, but I try really hard to say she. I do correct myself if it comes out wrong. I would never use the wrong pronoun intentionally.

We would both be welcoming and happy to spend time with you, but I can't even kept the names of all my granddaughters straight sometimes.

Ha ha, so true! I not only can't keep the names of my grandkids straight, I sometimes mix them up with the dogs' names!

You need to realize that the tour may include people with very different experiences. As someone who does not know a single person who uses alternative pronouns, I might be like Carol now retired and unintentionally make a mistake because I'm not in the habit of having to consider this. Do not assume that people who mess up are intentionally being mean.