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Pretend it's your mom posting....

Some of you may know that I am helping my son-in-law plan a trip to Finland and Norway. He and my grandson are going there so my grandson's soccer team can play in the Helsinki World Cup in a few weeks. My son-in-law traveled extensively when he was much younger, but it's been over 20 years and certainly not with the advent of new technology, so he's pretty clueless about a lot of the things we know and take for granted. And many of the parents on the team who are also going are in the same boat.

I met with him and my grandson a few days ago to talk about things like cell phones (int'l plans and data usage), what apps to download, how to get money, how much to get, Tap-and-Pay, tipping and so on. But what was interesting was the next day, my daughter was at one of their games, and overhead some parents talking about the trip. One woman said she was very nervous and was wondering how to get Euros. Another parent said that she heard they should go to exchange kiosks at the airport.

So my daughter chimed in (she had been at our "meeting") and told them about using ATMs vs. exchange kiosks, and that ATMs are cheaper and what kind of ATMs to look for. They were extremely grateful for her comments. One woman mentioned that she had no idea where to look for that information. So when I heard that, I made up a basic list of travel tips, and my son-in-law sent it out to them, which they really appreciated.

I guess I'm posting this because many people come here with no idea of how to travel efficiently. And they don't know how or where to look for that information. The first inclination of long-time members here is to check a guidebook, search online, or ask very specific questions here, but many travelers are not tech-savvy and it honestly does not occur to them to do that. It would be like me looking for information on how to repair some large appliance. I'd be utterly clueless about that.

Sure, it can be irritating when someone comes here to ask very basic questions, and although many members here do give them good detailed info, there are those who give rather cryptic responses, or a google link. I admit that I have been tempted to do the same thing (and have been guilty of this).

But then it occured to me to do what I do when driving. I get impatient with slow drivers in front of me, but instead of honking my horn, I pretend that the driver is my mom, who was a very slow driver. So my suggestion is that the next time you see a post like that, before you respond, maybe ask yourself "What would I write if this was a family member asking this question?" and phrase your answer accordingly. Just a thought. YMMV. :-)

Posted by
6535 posts

Great idea, Mardee! Thank you. I’m sure most, if not all of us, have gotten a wee bit impatient from time to time, and need to be reminded to be thoughtful and considerate.

Posted by
8039 posts

Nick, maybe it will at least plant a seed in someone's brain? You never know. :-)

Jane, thanks! I'm trying to keep it in the back of my head as well. I do get more impatient as I get older, and I need reminders.

Posted by
16555 posts

So when I heard that, I made up a basic list of travel tips, and my
son-in-law sent it out to them, which they really appreciated.

Well done, Mardee! I'm sure you've saved any number of them some grief and anxiety in any number of ways! :O)
I'm a little surprised that the individuals leading this adventure didn't provide some guidance themselves but maybe they are also clueless?

Yup, it's hard to go to the best source or ask the right questions when you don't know what you don't know?

Posted by
8039 posts

I'm a little surprised that the individuals leading this adventure didn't provide some guidance themselves but maybe they are also clueless?

Kathy, it's a hometown soccer club that is basically doing this on their own. They've got the basics down, but it's sort of like herding cats, lol!

Posted by
14759 posts

Oh Mardee, your travel tips idea is awesome and will save some of those folks from making some expensive errors or being frustrated.

And I like your idea for the forum approach as well. Yes, I could be someone's Mom or Grandmom....and I want people to be kind to me!

The team may dragoon you into a travel tips meeting!

Posted by
10610 posts

This is such good advice. I also get more impatient as I age, mostly with those slow drivers. When I get frustrated I will now try to remember your wise counsel. As far as the forum goes I have gotten to the point where I just skip the posts that frustrate me. Enough other people are more than happy to answer those repetitive questions. I try to remind myself that if I can’t be nice, just don’t say anything at all. Well, I might say things that they can’t hear, but that’s okay isn’t it? ;-)

Posted by
599 posts

Thanks Mardee, I needed that. Many a time I think, have they never heard of google?! But then I try to remember some people (especially past 60 maybe) barely use their computers or don’t have laptops or tablets they can sit down with, get comfortable and spend time jumping around looking stuff up.

What a great trip these grownups and kids will have! Hopefully the flights all go well and everyone gets where they’re supposed to be. Are they going as a group? And think of trying to keep all these kids fed!

Posted by
2649 posts

Mardee--What a wonderful post! As for driving, I always think back to teaching our kids how to drive, so I try to give others that same patience since you just never know. Now, as for packing and traveling, oh my! My mom loved to go on tours with Tauck because they did everything for her. My daughter and I invited her along to Paris for a trip. We drove down to CA to her place since it was easier for us to be with her to fly. That was the best decision because I did not realize how little she knew about traveling. I left her to pack, came back and checked on her and she must have had things piled 2 feet higher than what the suitcase would hold! She had her huge thick bathrobe, her vitamins from Costco in their big bottles, etc. We had a little carryon only packing tutorial and she thought I walked on water after that, lol! There was a bit of a disagreement about the bathrobe, but she left it behind when I told her two of our hotels had them. Of course, our first day in Paris was when the summer sale started, and we walked by a store with bathrobes. Yes, mom bought one and hauled that thing around in its shopping bag to Normandy and back;) On our way home from Paris, of course mom's bag was pulled aside. She had no idea what to do and was so flustered. I am glad that we were with her.

Posted by
8039 posts

The team may dragoon you into a travel tips meeting!

Ha ha, Pam! Seriously, that would be a great topic! Everyone could contribute their best travel tips! I like it!

As far as the forum goes I have gotten to the point where I just skip the posts that frustrate me.

Yep, me, too, Andrea. Think twice, write once (or not at all!). :-)

Lyndash, yes, they are going as a group and all staying at the same hotel, although my SIL and grandson are going to Norway for 5 days afterward. The boys are all age 14, so I'm sure they will be eating constantly! So glad I won't be there!

mikliz97, OMG, that story about your mom just made me laugh (although I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time). My son-in-law is just as bad. He has been talking about the two of them each checking a bag (he calls it their 50 lb. bag, which makes me cringe). But today he found out that because he has economy light tickets, it's going to cost them $95 for each checked bag. I'm trying to convince him now that he doesn't need it. He keeps saying "He has soccer gear!" And I keep saying, "It's a couple of jerseys, shorts, one pair of cleats and his shin guards, all of which will fit in his carry on!". Sigh.

Posted by
2649 posts

Mardee--There are more "mom traveling" stories, as she truly was the worst traveler! Which is crazy since her parents and twin sister traveled the world. Mom did not get the travel gene, lol.

Posted by
14759 posts

"There are more "mom traveling" stories, as she truly was the worst traveler! Which is crazy since her parents and twin sister traveled the world. Mom did not get the travel gene, lol."

Mikliz....that is so funny. My parents took my grandmother to Europe when she was in her late 70's or maybe early 80's. It was before the Euro so they had envelopes of money for each country (they had lived in Belgium). They were on a ferry, going somewhere and Grandma suddenly announced she wanted her "big meal in the middle of the day". Dad had limited cash until they got to the next place they could cash in travelers checks (remember them), perhaps the boat didn't take credit cards (hard to imagine these days!). It turned out to be hilarious family phrase people would pull out when things were going to be awkward for some reason.

AND I can see your Mom carrying that darn bathrobe all over creation. I hope she got a lot of pleasure out of it when she got home, lol.

Posted by
3009 posts

My mom was nearly always an impatient business woman, driving 250 km/h on German Autobahn in late 80s and 90s if conditions allowed it. So, I am just a victim of DNA, and on top socialised in Berlin, the most directly communicating city on our planet.

Posted by
2649 posts

Pam--I can just picture that, lol! Yes, mom loved that darn bathrobe and had it for years! It was finally threadbare by the time we sold her condo last year, so much so that I almost didn't recognize it. She hauled that thing on the train to/from Normandy, and then home on the plane all in it's shopping bag! At one cosmetics store, I looked over and there was mom with her wallet wide open and she was telling the cashier to take what she needed. I think the poor cashier thought mom was not all with it;)

Posted by
8039 posts

So, I am just a victim of DNA, and on top socialised in Berlin, the most directly communicating city on our planet.

Mark, ha ha, we're definitely all victims of DNA. :-) That made me laugh about your mom! My mom was the type who would start warning me of a stop sign four blocks ahead. Although I inherited my dad's tendency to go a bit faster (ahem) than normal.

Posted by
350 posts

Thank you Mardee!

Be polite. Give the benefit of the doubt.

Be polite.

Goes a long way.

Posted by
1603 posts

Great advice Mardee!
I find that I have gotten more polite after my trip to Japan. You don't have to feel friendly to be polite!

I love it when people ask me for travel tips. My SIL and BIL have started traveling. I had a "meeting" with them. My SIL traveled with my DH for 11 weeks in the 90s, but things are so different now. I reviewed how I design a trip through Europe because budget was an issue. I also reviewed how to get money, no fee CC, having a debit card with PIN for kiosks, packing, trains, hotel quality and location, eating hotel breakfast, fancy restaurants for lunch, sandwich for dinner......I also reviewed the pros and cons of a RS tour. They ended up taking RS tour of Portugal. They loved it so much, they went with RS to Spain this year. Their daughter is going to Japan for a semester of study and she came over recently to get some tips. Of course I LOVE talking about my favorite topic. And I didn't once tell any of them to Google it.

Posted by
8039 posts

Mike, I can't say that I remember that post, but that was nice of you to say. I have to say although I try, I don't always succeed. That's sort of why I write stuff like this, as it helps me to remember that it pays to be nice. :-) My mom died a little over 25 years ago, but the lessons she taught me still linger.

khandsen, yes!

Posted by
8039 posts

Of course I LOVE talking about my favorite topic. And I didn't once tell any of them to Google it.

Ha ha, vandrabrud! I know—there's definitely something to be said for being an "expert" in certain areas. You do want to share your knowledge!

Posted by
2731 posts

Excellent advice. Recently I was asked to talk to a friend of a friend who was heading to Spain to walk the camino and she needed advice about cell phones. Her last trip to Europe was in traveler check days. About 30 minutes into the very long, twisted conversation I realized that she didn't understand how a cell phone works, so she was horribly confused about SIM cards and such. Once we backed way up to the beginning things got better, but they really improved after she visited her local library "tech" guys and they got her firmly oriented (bless them!)