Posters who never circle back to say whether advice was useful

Some that aren't forum regulars don't seem to recognise the difference between a travel advice helpline and a place where people meet to talk about travel. Many people struggle with making it a conversation in their new threads.

Yeah, I appreciate acknowledgment.
I often check a poster's history before answering, and sometimes it leads me to not bother.

I don't do nearly the amount of detailed responses anymore, mostly because I've responded to a few posts that later got deleted. That's what irks me. I try not to get to bent out shape about stuff. I was a little miffed recently when a few of us responded to a post but only one person was thanked, when we all basically said the same thing.

For me, I believe I provide folks with useful information, but I'm also on the forum to seek information. I've realized that often when I respond to the folks that have provided info it bumps the thread up and frequently I'll get more information.

I appreciate the forum so much. Every once and a while when we encounter a difficulty, my husband will say, "you need to ask your people about this" or "see what your friends" say.

If I post to the forum an answer, I don’t usually mind if I don’t hear back from the original poster as I know that others review the posts and find value. I certainly do. Many times I don’t even need to post my question as it has been answered in someone else’s post.

I am however, more mindful of private messages where I am asked specific questions, recommendations, or even itineraries and spend a lot of time pulling those answers together and then never hear back. I never thought of looking at the posters history, but perhaps it is a good idea in the future.

Or at least say "TIA" at the end of the post!

TIA at the end of a post would definitely keep me from answering. I really dislike that.

Two different people in the last year have sent me private messages that could easily have been asked on the thread they were referring to. I didn't answer them because they had NO history of posts. Why would you do that?

Im not that irked if posters dont have the common courtesy of thanking the posters who have taken the time to reply to their post. Do i judge? You bet. But i dont let it bother me. But I truly appreciate those posters who come back after their trip to relay their experiences and if the info given was helpful.

But what really annoys me are those posters who ask something absolutely vague and uninformative; and when asked to provide additional info to help us form a useful reply..... crickets.

What CJean said.

What CJean said. And Skyegirl too. And all of you! I have begun looking at a poster's history (often there is none) to see if they have any engagement with the forum. Often the questions are so vague I wonder if they are AI generated. E.g. "Vancouver. Advice for first time visitor. Four days" Is someone trying to add info to their blog or the AI response?
Responders asked some questions to know how to help the OP (time of year, interests, etc.), but the OP never comes back. They often don't seem real. Or the OP thinks they are "googling" for info, not realizing we are real people on the forum.
I hope I am not misjudging someone who simply doesn't understand forum etiquette. I don't require a thank you, but am put off by OPs who never come back and respond to forum members who ask questions as a means to better help them. Are they mining info for a travel blog or column?
This seems to becoming more common in the last few months.

I admit that sometimes I ask for more details because the question is too vague to give helpful advice, and I may not always circle back to see if they’ve provided it.

Otherwise, I don’t expect an acknowledgment thank you from people asking questions. If they happen to give one, that’s an extra bit of kindness. I’ve had people send me a PM before or after their trip telling me about how I really helped them, and that’s the ultimate to know someone’s trip is going to be more fun for them.

I'm sure that some new posters do not notice this box to check when they set up their account --- I know I didn't for a while.

- Email me when a user replies to my topics?

And then, they forget they even asked a question here.

That's one of my theories, anyway.

I hear your point and I feel similar too. But I always feel guilty in some capacity.
My very first post in this Forum was about 2 years ago when I was planning my Scandinavian trip. I engaged in replies on my post, so there was some back-and-forth on my end, but I never returned to it after my trip. And when I did, the topic was closed because of no activity.
But I recently gave advice to someone going to South America, and again, crickets. It would be nice to know if what I said was helpful or not, but I also know that people are wired differently. Once they got what they need, they go on their way. I try not to be too upset about it.

I have been more active because now I feel I understand how this group works. Most of my travels are "Beyond Europe" but I am planning another European trip later this year, reason I returned here. But now I linger more and hope to be helpful in other areas.

I do the same as Liz; I check the posting history and if I see the member only posts questions and no replies, I’ll give the question a pass. I know others don’t mind, but I at the very least like to know that the poster read my answer. And on this forum, the only way to know if someone read your answer is when they reply.

If I receive a question asked by private message, it’s usually a question that could have been asked on the forum. I then suggest them to post the question on the forum and I explain that I ask this so that others can chime in and also that others can benefit from the answers. 9 out of 10 time I hear nothing back and no question is posted on the forum….

I feel it’s rude not to even give a general “Thanks for the responses. I’ll take a look”. I can ignore it for someone’s early posts but there are some who do this serially. Every year…lots of questions about specific places and rarely a response. Nope, won’t respond to those people again.

Phew. I’m glad I’m not alone in this.

Joy- interesting point about giving an update after a trip has taken place. A good idea and something that is definitely likely to help future travellers.

Also interesting to hear that others get private message from people who’ve never posted on the forum. I’ve had a few and have replied, but I like the advice to suggest they ask their question on the forum to help them get wider responses.

I am with nancys8 for some situations as described. But that said, I have noticed a few serial non-responders. For some reason, a few months go I noticed a question that made me check posting history (to see if I thought it was a real person). What I found was - absolutely real, with a series of questions going back years and only ever 1 response on at least 15 questions. A bit astonishing. But mostly I figure it’s someone flitting in and out.

Skyegirl, I also get PMs that sometimes don't feel quite right. No posts and somewhat generic questions on a place I wrote a trip report on. I try to be polite and answer, but if it feels “off” I generally refer them back to my trip report or answer very simply with the offer to answer more questions if they have them. And of course, never a response. I can’t figure out what someone/something would gain from having done that, though.

It would help to have an upvote icon along with "reply" to a specific post. On other sites you can then see who upvoted the post and that would also serve as a small "thank you" for the advice.

At the risk of being contrary. I do not have the expectation that everyone shares my social mores and I have no expectation of profuse pleasantries or thank yous. It's an internet forum and I'll take a query for what it is and answer to the best of my ability if I choose to respond. I also do not have the expectation that the original poster will come back to their post. They maybe overwhelmed by and wading through so many different opinions, found their answer elsewhere, or unable to find their way back to their thread. Life goes on.

About 2 in 10 don’t acknowledge anyone that helped them.
About 1 in 10 are just plain kooky.
About 1 in 10 are either deceptive out of gamesmanship or they just aren’t very considerate.
About 1 in 10 go way above and beyond to express appreciation.
The rest are just run of the mill good folks.

If, in general, the forum membership is anything like the forum members that I have met, well, its a good bunch.

Mr E that’s my gut feel too actually. About 60-70% friendly, polite, etc. my recent experience on a less visited country forum made me wonder whether positive responses are skewed towards the more visited countries/forums.

Either way I really enjoy and appreciate these boards!

• Email me when a user replies to my topics?

I have that box ticked; it always has been, but I've NEVER been notified. I've ticked and unticked, reset it several times over the years and it just doesn't work.

It doesn’t bother me too much when there’s no acknowledgment at all by the OP of all responses to their question. That doesn’t necessarily stop me from answering. And with regards to those who mentioned getting email notifications, I believe that the default is to have that email box checked. So they are getting notice of responses unless they opt out.

However, I will say that when the OP really engages with the responses and comes back and talks about each one and ask questions, I am much more likely to keep posting and keep giving advice because I know that my responses are being read and assessed.

In other words, I think you’re going to get better responses from most people here if you come back and not only thank others for responding but continue the dialogue.

In the world of chat bots and such, I think many people treat this board as a place they put in their question and don't realize (or understand) that real human beings are spending their precious time giving advice or answers. Lack of awareness isn't a crime, but I personally have cut back on investing a lot of time on vague questions from first time posters who may have been directed to RS forum from a search engine. I don't expect someone to return and detail how advice helped/didn't help them on their trip, but a general "hey thanks for all this information, you've given me a lot to think about" reply is fine by me.

All of us were new travelers at some point, so I try to give the benefit of the doubt to people who ask "newbie" type questions without a lot of details. What frustrates me more is a person that asks a question or for feedback on an itinerary, and then argues with the responses because they don't like what or how people have responded. There's a thread on a current world issue that falls in this category where the poster is dug in. In my opinion, if you aren't open to alternative viewpoints, simply don't ask.

Little different perspective : I research many months in advance, frequently seeking advice and guidance here. After getting responses, I always thank the contributors immediately. I do not go back many months later to comment. I do however, reply to others who approach similar situations and forward the advice I was given.

Just my way. Hope it is sufficient

Allan - I do have the 'notify me of replies' box checked and so I have had lots of emails about this thread!

Mardee - I totally agree with you, the more engagement I see with posts on a thread, the more likely I am to throw in my tuppence of advice/comment. The highlight of my forum experience remains meeting you in Skye.

Maybe I'm just too curious, but I often wonder what a person decided to do and then how it worked.

I've noticed recently that (particularly on some of the less visited
country forums) that replies don't always get acknowledged by the
original poster. Am I alone in finding this odd? Surely if you ask a
question and get some detailed responses it would be appropriate to
acknowledge this assistance/advice?

A few months ago, someone accused me of being a troll because I had asked a question and after 47 replies, I had not said thanks for the answers. Guilty, but it was because I didn't understand at the time that there is a certain etiquette on this message board. It's kind of super-polite compared to a lot of other message boards I have participated on.

Jules M
I, too, wonder about advice given and followed, and how it went, or not. Call me interested and curious.

Yes, it bothers me too.
I try to answer some people to steer them in the right direction and it would be so nice to have even just a short Thank You in return.
Especially if you have pm’ed me.
This also serves to indicate that the questioner has actually returned and read the answers to their original post.
What bugs me most is people asking the same question over and over on different threads and expecting different answers.
I do understand that some new travelers are anxious but….take notes, do some research on your own too.
If you are getting multiple similar answers from this forum, consider that this is probably good advice.
Also, when asking a question, it would help if people were as specific as possible, ask politely, and perhaps say “please.”
Not just:
“Where’s the best hotel near the Pantheon.” then expect an answer.
Rant over, and I hope I have always said please and thank you with my own questions!

I guess a lack of thanks/response is the risk you take when you offer your thoughts and/or advice on a forum query. Personally, I do like to know whether what I suggested has been at least useful and would confess to being inordinately pleased when somebody takes the time to thank me either in the thread or by direct message.

I think I’ve had just the one direct message outside of a thread that I’ve been concerned about, mainly because my response would have been largely “well, I wouldn’t do any of that, personally”. I was so concerned that I might have come across as something of a jerk that I contacted the webmaster to express my misgivings and seek guidance and was given reassurance that I wasn’t coming over as merely obtuse or unpleasant.

Most of the rest of the time I do get responses either in thread or by direct message. The ones I tend not to get - not unreasonably - are subsequent trip reports where I can see if what I’ve suggested has been of real use on site as it were, but that’s really just me being over enthusiastic and in the great scheme of things, no biggie. As I observed at the outset, a lack of response is the risk you take when contributing, and as Mr E observed most folks are good mannered enough to acknowledge any input.

Ian

Oh no! Margie,I'm a culprit of "extra credit for", just trying a bit of humor, and I usually use it for an add on/ side request. I'm really having a bad day on the forum. I also abbreviated Pike Place Market and called a Melbourne tram a trolley.

It bugs me when a person asks a very specific question about a remote place few people get to, I provide a very detailed response, and never hear anything.

The most recent example was a person asking about where to park in Úbeda, a UNESCO heritage city whose city center is closed to traffic. I provided a number of options, including free lots and the op never came back.

I’ve shortened some responses, stopped responding to often asked questions, and don’t generally respond to first time posters since, in my experience, tend to be the ones who don’t come back.

Jaimeelsabio - yes it was a question about a pretty obscure place that prompted me to create this thread. I was a bit excited because I'd been to both places that the OP was asking about and was able to give an opinion on them, which was what s/he'd asked for. No response. huh! Ah well...

As mentioned above, different people do travel in different ways. Some love the research aspect, some want the "answer" handed to them at no charge.

Same with travel forums. Those ultra broad and vague questions now make me grind my teeth - where should I stay in Paris? where should I eat in Rome?

Once ChatGPT takes over the internet, we can all relax.

Skyegirl and others,
I read parts of the forum almost daily, not necessarily because I am off on a trip, but because I enjoy learning so much about faraway places, even if I may never get there. And the advice I have been able to use has been wonderfully helpful. I just want contributors to know that even if I am not the OP, I appreciate the opinions and information you all provide. Since I have no social media presence (I never even joined Facebook) this is my one foray into the online group world. Thanks all for many interesting reads and discussions!

Perhaps my ego got the best of me but I really enjoy reading on a topic where I have posted something and someone will say " Gail I went there too " or something similar.. It makes me feel that someone acknowledged what I said. That makes my day.

Judy - It's a lovely forum isn't it? I too have discovered places I'd never even have thought of visiting. I like the humour too of the more general boards like this one, where the discussion can be a bit more wide ranging than the "where should I stay in the Marais?" posts.

Gail - that is exactly the sentiment I was trying to express in my original post/rant.

I was talking to a friend who is a very successful businessman nearing retirement, who obviously makes a lot of decisions every day.

He likes tours and cruises because it's more relaxing and enjoyable to "not make decisions" during his vacations, or at least let someone else deal with the hassles of travel. I get that.

I find it particularly frustrating when a poster is practically in a panic screaming for help-

• hotels sold out, my tour company cancelled, potential rail strike...

and doesn't bother to thank the responders who are offering solutions or letting us know how things worked out.

When I was planning trips for New Zealand and Australia, I did get a lot of information on this forum as well as from a couple facebook groups. While the facebook groups were wonderful, it felt quite different from the forum. Forum (as least this one) posts are like a conversation among a bunch of knowledgeable people. Folks build on previous suggestions. We tend to know a little something about the posters and folks responding which makes it easier to make suggestions. On the facebook groups, people often do not read the previous responses, responses are more in isolation. The person with the question tends to have no idea what response is the best for them, because there is no "conversation".

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that if a poster doesn't come back with comments or follow up questions that is to their detriment because they might have received even more information. Yes, people do like to feel valued, and that's why thank yous feel good, but we should all be posting because we want to help and because we like travel and want to be in a travel community.

of course sometimes posters don't hear what they want to hear. Why thank somebody who bursts the bubble? Or not only doesn't thank one person in a string of names, or says something like, thanks to some of the above did help.

It's that wanting something to be true and not wanting the truth.

I echo VAP's sentiments.
It is nice to be thanked, and it is nice to hear back after a trip, but as Nancy said, some may forget they have created the post; I know I have sometimes forgotten (please forgive my lack of manners for response or appreciation).

Once within the last 12 months, I did a forum search for information and discovered, either I had posted a similiar question years ago, or I had actually provided the information on someone else's post. I had not remembered.

Email notification of replies has been spotty for me, as well.

I'll try to tune up my attention span (maybe use my sticky note friends) when I make a post, but I'm afraid there are no guarantees...

Thank you, my forum friends.
Cheryl

I commiserate with those who get PM's asking for detailed answers, and never get a response or thank you. That happened to me on a number of occasions. The final straw came when I received a request for detailed information (which I gave to them), and then never heard back. After waiting 2 weeks or so, I sent them a very polite message saying that I hadn't heard back and I wanted to make sure they had gotten the information.

About two hours later, they responded by chewing me out. They said that they had been deathly ill, their mother died, their dog ran away and basically gave me a whole string of excuses that were obviously designed to guilt me into feeling bad. 🙄 Yes, I'm exaggerating a bit, but not by much. So that is why I do not respond to anyone I don't know who asks me for info via PMs.

Now I just send a brief message saying I prefer not to respond privately, but if they take their question to the forum, I would be glad to respond there and that way others can benefit. Of course, I do respond to people that I know on the forum, but that's different. 😊

of course sometimes posters don't hear what they want to hear. Why thank somebody who bursts the bubble?

I would not be inclined to circle back nor be thankful for inaccurate responses, responses that do not actually answer the actual question asked, inside conversations, or inside jokes.

VAP - That is a fair point. I'm thinking of instances where I've spent quite a bit of time researching, checking facts and trying to be as helpful as possible to the OP.

Too much positive here to dwell on the negatives.

Too much positive here to dwell on the negatives.

This +1

Skyegirl, I completely understand the frustration when you’ve put in real work and time to respond to a post. I get it. Like I said it helps me to not have expectations on public internet forums. But I see why it stings. Remember that even if the OP is silent, your research, time, and the resulting responses stay here as a high-quality resource for the thousands of lurkers who will find these threads later. Your efforts aren’t in vain; it just serves a wider audience than intended.

I am guessing that was the Finland thread Skyegirl. "Old Mate" has been posting here sporadically for a decade, starting threads but never a second post on them.
Personally I don't give too many F's if I get no follow up when I post info or opinions on forums. If it's some random stranger I assume they just want easy answers. It is my choice to respond. I certainly aren't going to spend much of my time unless they follow up. A recent question posed here was in regards to my home state. I initially didn't respond at all as I had no easy answer. He then responded to other posts so I did a 5 minute bit of research and gave him a list of options to check. But that is his job to do the hard research not mine, I just gave him some possible points to start. That was last week and my post remains the last on the thread.

Yes that was the post that triggered this one. It wasn't the only instance though and I felt as though it was becoming a trend for folk to post questions and then not follow up.

This thread has been reassuring that it's not just me...

I'm thinking of instances where I've spent quite a bit of time
researching, checking facts and trying to be as helpful as possible to
the OP.

This is a question for everybody. If someone asks a question, why would you spend any time at all doing research on their behalf? Why not just point them in the right direction, and show them how to do their own research?

Just to add something that I have been pondering. I have noticed several times over the past few months questions by posters that are of the very broad type (e.g. What is there toi do in such-and-such city?), whose poster name is a short name or initials followed by a long string of numbers...more than is typical. I haven't responded because they seem to me to be bot or computer generated questions. I get the impression they are mining for information to put in an AI info set. I could be way off base, but I don't feel they (or it) is someone seeking information for themselves; rather a computer-generated dive into the forum.

My cynical side is popping up here.........

Interaction (I.e. thank you) is nice but certainly not a prerequisite. Lots of specific responses on the forum are useful or interesting and that is worth a general thank you.

This is a question for everybody. If someone asks a question, why would you spend any time at all doing research on their behalf? Why not just point them in the right direction, and show them how to do their own research?

I spent over an hour earlier on an enquiry asking about lesser known events in the English Lake District next month (May). Why?- because there is no central website or facebook page to point to (and this might seem quaint)- rather there is an annual booklet published 'Events- The Lake District Cumbria'. As a local it is sat on my bookshelf.

Now I could have just said look for that booklet at Penrith or Windermere Stations or Booths at Keswick. But Hobson's Law is that there will be none left, and it is a very weak response- doesn't allow advance planning for a trip in the next few weeks. If anything interests them they can google an event website (or ask for clarification if they can't find one). If nothing interests that enquirer and they never respond, fine. Maybe someone else will see that list, perhaps even next year and have a eureka moment.

I will probably never know. But I've done my 'job' in promoting the area.

I agree with isn31c, that sometimes it’s about doing our bit to promote our local area to visitors. Especially now that local tourist information centres have closed across Scotland (where I live). I can provide some of the answers that people might have previously got from an in person visitor centre. Also for me the clue or signal is in the name of this web page community.ricksteves.com. Surely a community is a place where people help each other out. For me there is value in a fuller response that offers some local insight. It’s what I hope to find when I’m looking for travel advice and help, and so it’s what I try to provide when answering questions.

A recent observation--Some posts are needing some specific piece of information for people to better answer the query--like budget or time of year, number of people, etc. So the OP is asked for clarification and days pass without any response. I think it'd be helpful if in the "getting started" part of the forum directions, if in the guidelines it advised the OP to monitor responses so as to add additional information to ensure the OP gets the most/best help possible. Plus, my previous point was, if OP engages, it keeps the post alive yielding more information.