Planning details vs. being spontaneous

This is why I take Rick's tours ---- no stress once the tour starts. At this point in my life, planning the flight, days pre and post tour are enough. I hate wasting time looking for a place to stay, comparing prices, getting lost, standing in line, etc.

I would recommend booking hotels in advance, especially if this is a summer trip. Good, reasonably priced, and conveniently located hotels book up fast in major cities. If he is okay with spending a lot more, then pre-booking hotels may not be an issue. But, for decent accommodations, it may be double or triple what you would spend if you booked well in advance. The daily schedule can easily be "winged"--you may have to wait in line at museums, but that is a small cost for the spontaneity your husband wants.

How are you getting to Albania? I am assuming by air, given the distance. You will definitely want to book that well in advance for the same reason that you wouldn't want to turn up at the airport and ask at the ticket counter, "Any room on the London flight today?" You will pay through the nose for last minute travel, and the flights may be fully booked. I haven't traveled in Albania, though I understand it is easier on independent travelers than it has been in the past. I would download the In Your Pocket PDFs for Albania and Tirana. They give a lot of information and they're free!

Sherri, I am an obsessive planner, so my advice may be biased. One problem with not planning is that you can waste a lot of time trying to find a place to stay. If you are traveling in the peak season, this can be a big deal. If you are traveling off season, it may not be much of a problem at all. It can also be more expensive, particularly with regard to train and plane trips between cities. You may not get good deals purchasing at the last minute. With hotels and B&Bs you may get a good deal if they are desperate to rent rooms or a bad deal if they are almost full. Again, the time of year is a factor. Having said all that, I think the desire to plan or be spontaneous is largely a matter of personality.

I really don't think it is fair or right for you to give in because your husband wants to be spontaneous. I think you need to compromise. One idea is that you decide on the basic itinerary and number of days in each city and make all the transportation reservations in advance. As for places to stay, you should probably reserve the first place in advance. If you'll be travelling in the summer, you may want to make all your reservations in advance. If you're travelling off season, maybe not. But do the research to identify what places you would like to stay and take the phone numbers with you, so you can call in advance when you are on the road. Hopefully you can sell your husband on this plan because: 1) when two people are traveling, you need to compromise, and 2) you can show him how it will save you money. I would highly recommend you do all the research by yourself and not annoy him by talking about it all the time. Just go to him when it's time to make the final decision.

As for daily activities, I like to plan a general outline of what to do each day. I'm flexible in implementation, though. If I were you, I would come up with a plan for each day, but NOT tell your husband about it or even tell him you have a plan. Another option is to do the research on all the attractions so you have the information on hours and days of operation, location and stuff like that on every place. Ask him what he feels like doing each day. If he picks a place, say okay, then pull out the map and point to other places in the same area and suggest that perhaps you could hit one or two of these places while you are in the area, "if we feel like it," of course. If he doesn't have an idea, you could suggest something, but again don't give him the idea that it's been planned in advance. Here again, you need to compromise; maybe he picks one place for the morning; you pick one place for the afternoon. I think you'll be fine as long as you don't give him the feeling like the vacation is a schedule that he has to follow, which is why you need to keep your planning to yourself.

Good luck!

I would always sort out the accomodation ahead because I don't want to spend hours traipsing around trying to find somewhere with a vacancy. On the two occasions I didn't I had to stay in a complete hellhole of a place because everything else was full. I would also book travel ahead because it's often cheaper and you don't want to waste time trying to work it out when you get there.

Other than that my travel style is half planned and half spontaneous. Some days I will plan in detail (usually the must-see places or trips that will require getting up early). Other days I will just play by ear (maybe there will be some local event on I didn't know about or maybe I am tired and just want to sit in cafes and people watch).

I have a friend who is totally OCD when it comes to planning and holidaying with her is just too stressful for words. My mum is the total opposite and always says she will leave her planning and see how she feels on the day. What happens is that she gets up late everyday and doesn't get around to doing what she wants. So she then comes home moaning that she didn't say any of the things she wanted. I try and tread the middle ground!

The time for spontaneity is now. If you wait until you get there, what you can do might be influenced by what accommodations are already filled by those who booked in advance.

Last August, as an example, I stayed two night (one full day) in Lahn, Austria, outside of Hallstatt. I had no firm plans, but a list of things I might have wanted to do. I spent the morning exploring Hallstatt, then had lunch in the Marktplatz. In the afternoon I went up the Salzbergbahn (funicular). I decided I wasn't interested in the mine, but I did go around taking picture of the lake and surrounding area. Because I had already made reservation for where I wanted to be, I could be spontaneous as to what I did that day.

I think it was Winston Churchill who said, "Failing to plan is planning to fail."

We tried the spontaneous thing on our first trip (although we did have travel & accommodattions already booked) and we ended up not seeing nearly as much as we had hoped to. After that we decided we would have a daily "plan" -- which we use a guideline to see things that are in the same general area, etc. If we find that something is more interesting than we expected, we spend more time on that and forego something else on that day. Having at least a general idea of what we're going to do for the day helps us accomplish what we came for.

You didn't say what time of year you're traveling. If it's summer or during any holiday (and, remember, other countries are going to have different holidays), definitely book in advance. My husband and I have "winged it" many times, but usually for smaller towns, not big cities.

I'd go for having an outline -- what cities you're going to be in, how long you're going to be in each one, where you're staying, and how to get to the next one. That's typically what we do. I like to research the sights beforehand so I know what we're interested in and what we can skip. As far as day-to-day plans, we do that as it comes. You may have a museum day planned and it's gorgeous outside, or you may have a lot of outdoor things planned and it's raining. A bit of flexibility doesn't hurt. But I'd be a nervous wreck showing up in London or Paris without knowing where I'm staying.

I'm another compulsive planner. Not only did I book hotels and museum reservations in advance, but I also drew up a daily itinerary of where we were going and what we were seeing. Fortunately, my travel partner (dad) was perfectly happy to let me play tour guide and run the show.

I think the key, especially if traveling with a non-planner, is flexibility. If you have a general idea of what you want to see, then you don't waste time standing on the street corner with your head buried in a guidebook (happened to me repeatedly in England when non-planner aunt was in charge), but you don't feel pressured to get up and out the door.

I'm a detailed planner - to an extent. We plan and reserve hotels ahead of time, and rent any needed rental cars. Most of the time, we buy train tickets the day of, unless it's something that requires reservations, such as the Eurostar between London and Paris.

My husband would be fine planning every dinner ahead of time (based on MY detailed research - we're big foodies), but I like a little more flexibility. At this point, we make dinner reservations only for special dinners or for dinners on weekends in big cities (especially Sundays, when lots of big-city restaurants tend to be closed, so those that are open on Sunday are very popular).

We book tickets at only the most popular museums ahead of time, such as the Uffizi or the Vatican Museums. We didn't even book our Musee d'Orsay or Louvre tickets ahead of time on our last trip to Paris, and didn't stand in line more than a few minutes.

For the rest, we leave it as flexible as possible. That allows us to change plans due to weather, a change of interest or just because. Each evening, and breakfast of that day, we decide what we'll do. I always have plenty of information on all the possibilities, though, and try to know what activities (based on location) would work well together.

I do find that my husband and kids get tired of me talking about planning - but they hate it even more when I don't make those plans! For most things, I come up with a limited number of possibilities, make him check them out, then decide.

Thanks for all the input! I loved your take on it, Carroll, about having a plan but not letting him in on it! lol. As we begin to figure things out, then I can have some suggestions but let it be his idea with the final decision. Love it that I'm not alone in my planning needs - I think that's half the fun! Our compromise is to only talk about it on the weekends! :o) We are traveling in March/April for 18 days, not including time to/from USA.

I have a very different attitude about planning. To me, it's the planning in advance that gives the freedom to be spontaneous on the ground.

We try to arrive with a set of plans that are as good as possible. It's not a big deal to change these in response to conditions like weather or sudden enchantment because we've thought about the potential trade-offs.

If you are absolutely bowled over by Paris (it has been known to happen), how will you know if it is best to steal another day from the rest of your itinerary if you have not thought in some detail about what the rest of that itinerary comprises?

If you do this, you will have a very good idea of where you will need reservations and where you won't, where advanced tickets will save you money and how much, and where they won't. You'll know, in other words, what is flexible and what isn't.

You'll still have to make those decisions, but you'll have a better trip. Good luck!

I am a planner. My husband is not. I do all the research. First, I want a good idea of where we are going and for how long. I do like to book accommodations ahead of time usually, because I don't want to waste time once I arrive somewhere trying to find a place. I also want to know what there is to see each place we go. If you don't know if there is anything to see, why go there? My husband really doesn't want to hear about it. We have a brief discussion about where to go, and he leaves it to me to make the arrangements. Once we get to a place I tell him what there is to do there and we then decide what to do. It is good to be flexible because you never know what may come up, be it weather or something else. Unless there is a specific reason,like a reservation, I don't make a day by day outline of our activities. You should know ahead of time whether a place you want to go to is closed on a specific day.

If he would let me, I would discuss whatever upcoming trip we are going on with my husband daily. I love the planning and like to talk about travel. He usually doesn't want to hear it, so I learned to keep my mouth shut. As far as your husband not wanting to get up early - my husband changed his tune about that when I gently reminded him how much money we were spending for the pleasure of him sleeping in while in Europe. He has no problem getting going in the morning now!

I hope you have a great trip!

Sherri,

I'm also somewhat of a "planner" and like to have at least the lodgings and transportation well sorted before I ever set foot in Europe. Since I only have a specific time frame to work with, using the spontaneous approach doesn't work for me as I have set goals and things/places to see.

You didn't say what time of year you'd be travelling, but for the majority of the year I'd recommend pre-booking accommodations. I've seen other travellers spend several hours looking for somewhere to sleep when arriving in a new city, even in the shoulder seasons. When arriving in a new and unfamiliar city, I want to get settled and start touring as quickly as possible without wasting any time (especially important when hauling around a 50 lb. Backpack)!

I also plan transportation carefully, as I usually travel by train and like to have some choice in both the departure time and which train to use (I prefer fast trains so reservations are compulsory).

With touring and sightseeing, I usually just make a list of the places I want to see in each city, listed in order of priority. I don't usually get to every site on the list, so those get added to another list for the next visit.

Happy travels!

Not planning works just as well for us, since the decision to go is also spontaneous at times. A couple of months ago we'd just gotten back from central america on a thursday, thought of something to do in the UK while we were sitting around the house on Saturday, and left for the airport on Monday. We had the idea that we'd kill a week on the continent first, maybe spending a few days in Paris, then going out to Brittany. That was the idea on the plane. When we got off, we decided that going up through Picardy and then goofing off in Belgium and the Netherlands might be good at that time of year. Off we went. No reservations, not even sure where we might spend the night. Piece of cake. No hostels, no flea bags. Good grub. The trip was our usual inexpensive one and would probably cost no more than if we'd planned it to death.

Oh boy have the people with the planning gene responded to your post. ; ) I can empathize as it runs strong in me, but I'm often trying to be a bit more flexible in my trips. I like the word flexible as opposed to spontaneous as I do a lot of research in advance and have a lot of ideas of what I want to do. I want my plans to be flexible enough to allow me to respond to weather, to the people I meet and to the events and places I learn about. I always have the first and last night booked. I think that the advice to book a location that you have your heart set on is excellent. I really wanted to go to a concert in Pitlochry and so I booked the hotel there in advance. So, try thinking about it as flexible plans. Pam

I plan like crazy before a trip. Not so I can have a perfectly scripted trip but so I know all my options.

I want to see a lot. My nightmare scenario is to drive right past a site I would have loved to visit - because I didn't know it was there (until I got home).

When I'm actually on the ground, I'm much more flexible. If we're getting "churched" or "museumed" out, we can skip a few. If we're tired of driving, we can skip a planned drive through a scenic area.

I only have reservations for my first and last night because I might want to add or drop a day along the way.

I never see everything on my list (nor did I plan to) and I often change my itinerary to take advantage of opportunities (festivals, wedding invitations, etc.).

I am pretty adamant about getting up early. Sleeping in is never on the agenda - too much to see and do.

My wife doesn't participate in the planning as much as I would like her to. I'm fortunate, however, because she rarely complains before or during the trip.

I'm always planning at least three trips into the future. That allows us to take advantage of last minute deals when they pop up. One thing my wife and I have in common is being able to go at a moments notice. From the time we dated, we could be out the door in ten minutes to go to dinner or catch a movie we wanted to see.

Ive done it both ways.Its nice to just wing it but i found that the good places were taken and I settled for something less.If driving it is easy to drive to another town but when traveling by train that is not so easy.Im a planner and I like all my ducks in a row.

Over time having tried approaches from complete winging (no reservations for hotels, etc) to a highly structured trip, what I've settled on is something in the middle. We book the hotels in advance, and do the research to figure out what we'd like to see. A big boost to flexibility comes by staying for a few days in each place. Don't feel like museums today? Fine, we'll do the day trip up the coast, or maybe walk around in town. The museums will be there tomorrow, and so will we. Having figured out in advance what are the must-see items and then having a larger list of "would be nice" we can tune the trip as we go to the weather, what we're feeling like doing, etc. And even in places we're just staying a day or two, having done the work in advance to build a list of possible activities we can choose the ones that sound best.

I would add that there's a tradeoff of money for time/flexibility. Book in advance and you can get good rates, can stay at top-rated finds in the guidebooks. Book as you go and the most attractive places may already be booked by those reading the same guidebooks, the places that are left may be more expensive.

Sherri - I am a planner by nature as well as by profession, so I can relate. I have done trips that I've entirely planned in advance (air, accommodations, car rental, event tickets, some restaurant reservations) as well as trips that have involved no more planning than buying a one-way air ticket. Each method (and the less extreme combinations in between) has plusses and minuses.

Generally, I like to travel as spontaneously as possible. I pretty much always book my first and final nights in advance for the obvious reasons. In between though, it depends - on time of year (will accommodations be hard to get?), and on whether there is a must see/must do experience that requires me to be in a certain place on a certain date. One of the things I like best when I travel is to follow my instincts and see where the road takes me. Sure, there is time spent searching (as often as daily) for a place to stay, which is a hassle. But the trade-off is that you can decide to "turn right" instead of following the trip planning map that tells you to "turn left". Most of the best experiences I've had when travelling have been entirely accidental.

Since this is a "negotiated" trip for you and your husband, I suggest you try to find a middle ground. Plan/arrange the key dates/locations and then wing it on the in-between days. Spend a few days in each place so you can explore on your own schedule. This way your husband can appreciate the value in having certain touchstones prearranged, and you can learn the value of letting go of some certainty.

The difference in cost won't be much (if any), just be willing to spend some time on those unarranged days to find accommodations. Many European cities have a TI that can help you with this.

Are you really going to Albania?! Ancestral motivation, I'm guessing.

I have done both (before finding this site), and I prefer to have some planning done. We never get to do all that I have in mind to do, but at least we go with some guidelines. Definitely better to make reservations before hand! I've done it like your husband, and though we have quite a lot of laughs now about it, at the time it was a bit stressful wondering IF we would find suitable accommodations or have to sleep on a park bench!

I am not obsessive about gathering details, though it might seem that way from my questions. I wish I could be super organised, but alas, it's really not me. However, I use a lot of suggestions here.

I've made most of the travel arrangements between our projected cities with dates in mind-I didn't want to leave that to chance. But day by day, we're playing it by ear. We do have a list of what's important to us to try to see in each city but that's it for now. Other than that, I'm not talking about it unless he asks! :o) My brother lives in Albania, so we will relax a bit (hopefully) and let him show us around... Thanks so much for all the great replies!

I would guess that most of us on this site like to talk about travel a lot more than our friends and family like to hear it. That's one of the benefits of the site. We can "talk" and read about travel to our hearts' content without driving our loved ones crazy. Enjoy your trip!