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One take on "living like a local" vs. "playing tourist"

I really like David Lebovitz's blog, and I know many others here do as well. He is a an American chef and author living in Paris and usually has plenty to say about food in general, especially French food. But he occasionally branches out and today I found a link in my inbox to an article written by him about Paris and dealing with day to day life. I thought some of you might enjoy his take on "local" vs. "tourist."

Here in Paris, among friends, we’ll often say we’re going to “play tourist” when we get to do fun things around town, like go to a museum or take a boat down the Seine. If you want to “live like a local” when you travel, you could stay in your room and pay bills, try to get a plumber to come on a Sunday, get woken up at 6:15 am by your upstairs neighbor’s kids, or commute with a gazillion other people on the métro during rush hour. I’d rather go to a bistro or drink Champagne on a boat slowly winding its way down the Seine. I don’t see any upsides to not being a tourist.

I do tell people who feel uncomfortable about being a tourist in France (or anywhere), that if they were coming to their home country, that stiff waiter or gruff cab driver would likely make gaffes too. But I do recommend learning “Bonjour” and “Merci” if you come to France, as la politesse is a lot more important in France than it is in the States, where the staff at CVS gives me funny looks when I thank each and every one of them after I’ve paid for my M&M’s.

The whole article is fun and interesting (there's a sentence or two that talks about chocolates called les crottes du chien), so it's all worth a read.

Posted by
11926 posts

I just finished reading that column before I turned to the Forum. That paragraph struck me, too, as when we lived in Rome people thought we were on permanent vacation but we still had laundry, bills, jobs, strange neighbors: in other words, reality. It was a privilege to live with glorious bread, cheese, markets, and people who respected food. Our recent stay in Rome reminded me of that in a visceral way.

Posted by
960 posts

I'm a tourist, I go to tourist places, and do tourist things. When traveling, I do enjoy doing local things and enjoy the local haunts but I never kid myself that I am anything other than a visitor. On the otherhand I live in a tourism town, I have a yearly pass to Busch Gardens, and my museum career depends on our wonderful visitors. Want to live like a local? Get up a little early and take a morning walk, run or bike ride throughout Colonial Williamsburg before it opens, then walk by Aromas coffee shop at opening time when the retired locals and W&M students are waiting to get in. Do your thing, visit our sites, do our farmers market and monthly street fair, then take a stroll through CW in the evening.

Posted by
3659 posts

I find the part on "living like a local" much too flat. It is not on being a bus driver for a day in every European town. Imo the question is not what a local do but what a local feel when doing things - this is what makes the vibe of destinations to me.

Posted by
5125 posts

Ha! True concept! I am heading back to Japan in the spring, having lived there for 8 years. Despite 2 return visits to where I lived, I know nothing about being a tourist - I know lots of useless things that I won’t need during my 3 weeks there. Ha!

Posted by
1401 posts

Being a former expat, the notion of “Living like a local” as some attempt to apply it while on holiday has always struck me as naive. Good to see the above comments.

Posted by
21837 posts

Imo the question is not what a local do but what a local feel when
doing things

Well said. Some like to take the "live like a tourist out of context" as if we dont know we wont be working and paying taxes. Its more like emulating a local in their time off. What would Laszlo Farkas do on his day off? Or if he took a trip Siófok for the weekend.

Posted by
1217 posts

Living like a local has always been a vexing premise to me. It is mainly found in the RS forums. It is a yearning to be immersed in a place and time, but usually based on some cliche fantasy of wherever one is going. It is cafes and coffee in France. It is the fun and brief part (maybe what you get on a tour) of harvesting olives in Greece. It is riding a Vespa in Italy with a beautiful girl. It is riding a bike along canals in the Dutch spring tulips. It is going to the market, but only to look because as a tourist you do not have the system (kitchen, spices, utensils) to actually make a good meal.
It is all the things you can do as a tourist on a food tour, a wine tour, an agritourismo.
So there you have it. Living like a local is available to you as a tourist and you get to do it for the time it takes to enjoy. Minus the longer and tedious part of the farming, harvesting, cooking, setup for whatever activity you are “living”. Minus the early rising and setting up your stall down at the market so you can serve tourists. Or being a guide to tourists. Or serving tourist their lunch.
It is a fantasy. And especially so for those going on their 9 city, 11 day whirlwind FOMO itinerary.
Have at it, but don’t be fooling yourself. Or maybe, do fool yourself, it is a fantasy after all. And once your return home you can opine about it to those for whom even the possibility of being there is out of reach. The will not know otherwise.

Posted by
1533 posts

Living like a local is a pretty nonsensical idea if one takes it absolutely literally. Which local is one supposed to emulate? Every local has his or her own unique life. I happen to live in the same zip code as Kim Kardashian, but our lives don't resemble each other in the least.

Posted by
21837 posts

Where I have lived in France, we’re known locally as the Americans

You could live in most countries in world for 50 years and even get citizenship and you would still be an American in every sense of the word to the locals. Most likely that would extend to at least the second generation that was actually raised in that country. The difference in the US is one of the things I love most about the US.

I live in Hungary. Have had a home in Hungary for 15+ years. I guess I will never life like a local. I actually belive that myself.

But I also understand that "Living Like a Local" has a certain meaning when discussing travel and the only way you can reject the concept is to redefine what was meant by the statement, the criticize the definition you created as opposed to the meaning that was intended by the statement. We could probably get rid of the criticism from most (some will never stop) if those wanting to use the term would change it to "Living MORE like a local" or "Looking for ways to interact with the destination in ways more similar to the way the locals do." Either eliminates the absoluteness that people attach to the term so that they can have something to be critical about.

Posted by
8857 posts

I don't think the article means to denigrate those who want to want to be pretend-locals, but rather to point out that as tourists, it's okay to embrace the charm and novelty of tourist sites. I certainly do!

Laurel, that's so funny! His is one of the few newsletters I get that I open right away and read. He's supposed to be coming out with an updated article about Paris markets, which I am really looking forward to!

Posted by
9233 posts

Great observation Mr É. The phrase does get taken out of context and way too seriously.

And I dont think RS invented the idea. I've seen it in the writing of many others over the decades. It seems to be one of the main reasons many people are drawn to apartments & AirBnBs.

Posted by
21837 posts

Using the term "pretend locals" is a redifinition of the general understanding of the term. I doubt the are trying to pretend to be anything but tourists doing their tourism with different priorities than what they perceive to be the norm.

Oh, and to complicate it more. I lived in a US tourist city most of my life. Ocassionaly we would say, lets get a room downtown tonight and play tourist..... of course being local it woud be impossible to be a tourist as much as a tourist would be impossible to be a local. I didnt know how foolish we were being. But we always had fun.

Posted by
960 posts

But I also understand that "Living Like a Local" has a certain meaning when discussing travel and the only way you can reject the concept is to redefine what was meant by the statement, the criticize the definition you created as opposed to the meaning that was intended by the statement.

Excellent point.

It's never bothered me to hear someone say they want "Living Like a Local". Maybe some are a little naive, or others don't want to be labeled as a tourist. But, I get what they mean. What gets me though is what at times feels like a hostile response from other travelers, to those seeking "the" local thing. As though the locals only live dreary lives, only trudge back and forth to work and never see the sites of their own city, or that a tourist cannot for a short time get that sense of belonging to a place.

Posted by
15332 posts

When I had to see a doctor in Berlin in 2017, the very first question put to me by the nurse receptionist dealt with my being a tourist or a resident of Germany. I told her given those exact 2 descriptions, then legally I am a tourist period.

In France and Germany I am a visitor under a time constraint imposed by Schengen. As such I go to both tourist places plus a lot of non-tourist places with a good deal of time devoted to these non-tourist sites and places where no one goes to. I do the normal tourist things plus choosing numerous other sites and places having nothing to do with so-called tourist places.

It's a matter as I see this of how one feels being there, how comfortable one is, how acculturated, values-wise and linguistically.

Posted by
577 posts

I read David's newsletter this morning too, and thought about the numerous discussions on "living like a local" here.

I agree with Stan & Mr. E. I don't kid myself that I will ever be a local anywhere that is not home. However, to me, the "local" aspect that I enjoy means that I usually stay in an out of the way neighborhood, mostly in apartments and not hotels, I like to grocery shop and cook, and I shy away from many popular tourist activities. For example, I'd just as soon sit on a tiny balcony of an Air BnB in Paris and listen to the sounds of everyday life coming through the windows of the neighboring apartments than queue to ride to the top of the Eiffel Tower. I'm still 100% a tourist, but I'm getting a glimpse (or trying to) of what local life is like, and that's what I enjoy as much as or more than the big tourist sights.

I guess it's more accurate to say that I prefer more "local" experiences than to say that I'm living "like a local."

Edited to add that David's description of what he deals with in everyday life made me think he might have had a tough go of it lately, and reminded me that Paris is one of the more difficult cities (IMO) for me to feel comfortable in.

Posted by
1401 posts

I am reminded of the out of town acquaintance who proudly proclaimed after a visit to my hometown, Chicago: "We did it just like the real people do. We stayed in a suburb and commuted."

OK

I always wondered what that said about me and my neighbors, happily living for decades and raising families in urban high-rises in close proximity to hotels and tourist sites. Am I a pretender to real life????

Posted by
351 posts

I think the "living like a local" notion is a travel luxury that not everyone can afford. If this is your "trip of a lifetime" to Europe, you are probably not going to prioritize much time sitting in a cafe for hours and watching the world go by, or shopping at the Saturday market. You are going to see those famous spots you never thought you'd get to see. I'm grateful that my budget allows slower travel, with some time to lollygag as well as see the famous sights, and I can reasonably expect to return someday if I want. On the flip side, I try to remember to be a tourist in my own town. After 40 years I still love to wander around in Pike Place Market, eat at a hole in the wall...and watch the world go by (without a $250/night hotel looming in the back of my mind.)

Posted by
8857 posts

Edited to add that David's description of what he deals with in everyday life made me think he might have had a tough go of it lately, and reminded me that Paris is one of the more difficult cities (IMO) for me to feel comfortable in.

I was thinking the same thing, Kayla. I remember his story about the motorcyclist and the ambulance. That would be rough, and I think I would not have been as constrained as he was with regards to his language. :-)

On the flip side, I try to remember to be a tourist in my own town.

Good point, KC. I like to do that in Duluth, which fills up with visitors in the summer . Many residents avoid the touristed areas here, but I think it's fun to walk along the lake, then get an ice cream and shop on Canal Park. A few weeks ago, I met a group of Amish men and women who were visiting from Shipshewana, Indiana on a tour bus. I had a wonderful time talking to them.

Posted by
817 posts

I lived the a third option for many days over many years...the businessman.

Like the locals your day was filled with work and walked with all the locals to the office (I always tried to stay within walking distance to my hotel). And, unlike the locals who understood work-life balance, you often spent the evening working in your room.

Some dinners were with with locals who could pick the appropriate restaurant, translate the menu and speak with the waitstaff. Other times you dined alone or with others who were equally clueless, or with some who displayed the worst of the Ugly American.

Posted by
1993 posts

Mardee thanks for sharing the article.

Finally, someone says its okay to be a tourist and in fact is jealous of tourists because they are having such a damn good time. As locals, they are bogged down with mundane responsibilities like we are when we go back to being locals back home.

"Bonjour, I am a tourist. Which way to the Louvre? Merci" LOL

Posted by
960 posts

...tourists because they are having such a damn good time. As locals, they are bogged down with mundane responsibilities like we are when we go back to being locals back home.

Why?
Why is this the common descriptor? Why is it always that locals are only bogged down with mundane responsibilities and only the tourists have any fun?

Posted by
15332 posts

Talking to locals I do not mention that I am legally there re: Schengen as a tourist. If they happen to ask if I am a visitor , then I tell them, otherwise no need to mention it. In France it's obvious due to the limited language ability, which shows but sometimes the French proceed anyway in French even after seeing me struggle to come up the appropriate and correct way of speaking plus that way one stands out.

Posted by
1993 posts

Thanks for the video Hank. LOL

I have similar thoughts when I read people will never eat at McDonalds in Europe and will only eat where the locals eat and then I walk into a McDonalds and it is jammed with local residents.

Posted by
10932 posts

"You are not a local till first name at the bread and butcher shop."

Sorry Francis, but being called by your first name would be considered very disrespectful in most European countries. You are Monsieur Martin or Madame Morgan or other equivalent until the day you die...unless you become personal friends and are invited to each others' homes, which can take more time than most of us have. :--)

Posted by
647 posts

@ Elizabeth formerly Bets

I think that your talking about a more northern European thing. I've been going to the same green grocer's, butcher's, fishmonger's, baker's etc for more than fifteen years, and we are on a first name basis, and we use the “informal” you. My neighbor, who probably is 25 years older than me, they call her Doña Carmen and use the “formal” you. For the regular customers they all use whatsapp now, so we can send in our order the day before, and they can remind us of their hours during the holiday periods.

Not only do they know my name, but they know how I usually order things. They know that I like apples small, my ground meat only beef and only passed once, and that I like the more toasted bread.

It was mentioned that one will probably always be The American. Nicknames are still pretty common here, and in my Cofradia I am “el Americano”. It doesn't bother me. There is a guy from Aragon, and he is “el maño” the name for people from Aragon. There are worse nicknames.

Posted by
10606 posts

Funny, even before I saw Bets's reply, I had copied this comment to reply to it:

You are not a local till first name at the bread and butcher shop.

I am definitely a local. I have lived in Paris for 18 1/2 years. Moreover, we have lived in our apartment for 13 1/2 years - so I have been going to the same bakery, press shop, dry cleaners, grocery store, pet food store, etc., for nearly 14 years.

Not a single employee or owner in any of those shops or markets knows my first name. That's just not how it works here. But they all know me. I am a local.

(There is one small asterisk to this: the guy who owns the Italian deli and my husband are on a first-name basis with each other because they are both from the same Italian city.)

Posted by
21837 posts

@ Elizabeth formerly Bets

I think that your talking about a more northern European thing.

Hungary is not in Northern Europe. But they make exceptions for Americans.

Here, everyone over 40 addresses each other with last names. They even write last name first. So I am SMITH John and am addressed as Smith or Smith John. Younger people want to be more Western and first names are more common. Old folks like RS types, always by the last name.

Posted by
10932 posts

To follow up Kim: We’ve been going to the same small businesses for several years. Certain gestures distinguish us as locals, but most don’t address us by any name, just madame or monsieur. If I’m still here in 20 years, I may be addressed with a last name, as Madame Martin.

This is a society that respects privacy and doesn’t barge into other peoples’ lives or space. We take tiny steps toward opening up. That way we don’t overreach and step on toes. It goes with the bonjour, merci, au revoir.

Posted by
960 posts

But isn't that the way it is in most locations?

Culturally the US is certainly more informal and it is frustrating the ease at which folks will freely use the diminutive of my name, even though I introduced myself with my formal name. But, those places where they need to know my name, and need to use my name it's always Mr. P.

My regular daily haunts...
Well the cafe I have regularly gone to for many many years, back before chip/contactless cards, when you'd hand over your card to be swiped and your name appeared on the receipt, well, back then they'd get to know and use your name. But now with new practices and the always present staff turnover they do not know my name, although they recognize me and know what my regular breakfast is. As I think about it there is only one shop that I regularly go into that anyone knows my name, and that is because last year I asked for some extra help/attention from the lady that ran the counter and I introduced myself.

You are not a local till first name at the bread and butcher shop.

I get what Francis is saying and there is truth to it. One thing my accident taught me, is that while I thought I was a loner and just going about my days unnoticed, when you are local the people that you encounter will know you by sight, get to know you, your story and your preferences without being obvious.

Posted by
2186 posts

Locals depend on the place where they live and will never be the case for those who stay somewhere on a temporarily basis, like tourists. I have worked once for a few months abroad near Lisbon and despite working with locals I had never the idea being one. You have to master the language thouroughly in the first place and why should you do that knowing you leave after a while. So learning a few basic words and sentences and that’s it. For the rest we used English to communicate, because that was much easier.

First I was excited, but gone after a few days as you have the same (actually boring) routine like at home. I played there tourist too, but was jealous about the real tourists there on vacation, as I had to get back the next day going to my job. So there is nothing romantic about it, so why should you want to experience that somewhere else. An advantage was going to restaurants and places only the locals go to and that was certainly the positive side about my stay in Portugal.

But ofcourse getting as close as possible to local live can be really worthwhile as you can learn a whole lot of things and heaving a more intense and rewarding experience. Nevertheless living like a local for just a few weeks or months is not realistic.

Posted by
1727 posts

I realized that "living like a local" wasn't all that great years ago when we were renting a villa in Spain with my sister and her family. Day One I walked into the kitchen to find my brother-in-law with his head under the sink trying to fix a leak. That's life like a local and I don't want it when away!

Posted by
1324 posts

This subject seems to be brought up quite a lot on here. I don’t want to live like a local, I do that here in Bend. I travel because I want to see things I’ve read about. I want to see artwork in person because as I’ve found out over the last 12 years, a photo never does complete justice to actually being there where you can see the sheen of the marble, see the painters brush strokes or feel the sensation of standing at the edge overlooking the Lauterbrunnen Valley. I want to take it all in over a few days and then go on to the next place. There’s so much to see in this world but I’m content to live my day to day in my town with my family til it’s time for my next trip.