No travel anxiety

You can spend more time hanging around here, helping the rest of us.

I have the same 'first world problem', though for 2020.

We have a very inexpensive trip booked for next April. But i turn 50 in February of 2020 and always said I wanted to be out of the country on the day. But recently I've been looking at how dated my house is and think I should take a year off and see to things. Would new furniture ease the blow of spending my 50th at home? Not sure -- especially since I had some solid ideas for that trip.

I know many who travel and don't have big budgets have dated stuff but my sofa and loveseat are from 2002! It really is time. And the kitchen... blech! Unfortunately our income doesn't run to updating the house and traveling, and traveling has ruled the day for several years.

We also try to think about driving vacations but in the end can't get excited about them.

I understand completely.

I usually take two 10 day trips to Europe each year - spring and fall. I try to either go to someplace new, or someplace I havn't been in a long time (so it's a new experience). But it looks like for 2019, I'll have to use my spring trip time at a conference in San Francisco (where I've been a bunch of times before). So, I'll only get one trip to Europe next year, and my other trip will have to be to a familiar place, that I enjoy just fine but am not feeling any burning desire to visit again. Talk about first world problems - but it still bothers me.

Perhaps thinking of the money you won't spend in 2019, that you can apply to your big 2020 trip, will help.

I’ve been there! In 2005 I’d been traveling a lot on business and personal and at the end of may, after getting back from Portugal, then Fargo, Nd, I thought I’d be releaved we had nothing planned. Instead I was bummed out. I realized the carrot of traveling is the thing that kept me enjoing work. Fast forward 13 years, we are retired and living a grand adventure in Italy with our Chocolate Lab. Now planning our adventures, big or small, is a big part of our retirement. Planning a night in Milan for Christmas eve, an excursion to Bologna in the next couple of months, and South Africa for a safari in May. Since we artived in our new home in Italy in August, we’ve been all over Lago Maggiore on ferries and enjoyed a two week trip to France.

Our retirement plan has been brewing since 2011 on our first trip to Italy.

It's not just you. I am almost always planning at least one trip ahead, if not two or three in my head.

Knowing that I have a trip coming up makes me feel better. I realize a thousand things could happen between now and then, but it's just the knowing that I have plane tickets or a hotel room booked that somehow tells me - keep going. ;-)

I’m there now and in a similar situation as Andrea. I don’t currently have a 2019 trip planned and it’s bugging me. What to do with myself with no trip to plan? But my really dated kitchen needs an overhaul and I need new flooring. Do I postpone the updates again and plan another trip? I don’t know if I can manage a year without a trip! Your plan to go to the travel show is a great way to help!

Karen, I already subscribe to your blog and was reading all your reports this afternoon. A dream come true, enjoy every day.
Andrea, I know, if we were driving cross-country I would be more excited, at least there would be planning. But driving to Quebec is practically a straight line for us and we’ve been there before. Harold, my DH said that about saving some money for our big trip, but somehow the money always finds a way disappear.
Andrea and Karen, we have been in our house over 32 years and yes I could use new windows but I just don’t want to put any more money into it. Not now, maybe down the road.
I think I have to concentrate on everything that is great in my life, and start early planning for 2020 and retirement.

Thank you all for making me feel better about the situation and think clearly.

In your bio it says you are going to Lisbon in Febuary 2019. Is that trip not happening now?
We love road trips. Perhaps you could pick a road trip to a place you have never been before?
I totally sympathize with you. I am downright depressed and cranky if I don’t have a trip in the works.

Yeah, we had to cancel that trip. We usually travel with my sister and husband, and cousin and husband. My sister dropped out first, then my cousin had doubts. Our hesitation caused us to miss the flight we wanted which rose from $500 to almost $900. DH thought it too much for only one week, etc, etc, you know when the stars are not aligned and you just have to give it up. That’s what happened to our Lisbon trip. Bummer. In hindsight it will be better to go in the Spring and go for 2 -3 weeks, not to rush everything. P.S. I updated my profile.

I guess I don't understand why your daughter having a baby the beginning of June means you can't take a vacation later in the summer?

Because we want to be there to help her in the beginning, especially with household chores since she and her hubby will be sleep deprived. Also, we have to have a Christening for the baby which is usually not long after the birth. We would help plan and execute a small family party afterwards. There are many reasons we want to be around after she gives birth.

I totally understand the grandchild issue, and suggest it might only increase your uneasiness if you plan something away from the family for the weeks after the birth.

We booked a dream trip to Alaska with my sister and her husband, plus another couple, for August 2012 to celebrate my 65th. The trip included a wilderness lodge that you have to book more than a year in advance. After booking, I learned my son and his wife were expecting, with twins. The due date was mid-August, right during our trip. I could not cancel without losing our large deposit and disappointing the others. My daughter-in-law assured me they would be fine, as her mother could come to help out until I returned home, but I still felt very anxious about missing the birth.

As it turned out, the twins were born 2 months early and spent their first month in the NICU. Other grandma went for a week to help support the new family, then I went for the last week of the NICU (one twin was home at this point) and then two more weeks when all were at home. I was so glad I was able to do this and experience this special time. And then I went and celebrated my big birthday in Alaska and we all had a wonderful time.

Because of my work, the odd-numbered years are always a year without a big trip. Those years I focus on things close to home - camping trips, visiting new places near me, spending time with friends and family, working on my house. I also read and learn about new places (the NYT travel show sounds great!) . I do not consider it a year lost, as you describe, because each of those things enriches my life too (well, except possibly the house work). I try to appreciate the good fortune that I can afford to go as often as I do, because a large portion of the people on this planet cannot afford to travel at all. It doesn't mean you can't be disappointed, but don't toss out the year as worthless, because it is still worth your time.

Barbara,
I am feeling exactly the opposite......relief and calm that we have no trip planned right now.....seriously. It is NOT that we will never travel again (afterall, I still hang out on this Forum.....LOL), but we are taking a bit of a break.

We had been knocking out about three big trips per year, and our last one was this past winter (Asia), and we returned home totally exhausted (longggg flights and hubby had after affects of the bad air pollution there). We have adopted a puppy (who is now 9 months old), and I think adopting the puppy was my way of putting "the anchor down" for a while. Today is also demo day (ugh) for the redoing of my kitchen (which was wayyyy overdue). So, a different phase right now.

Enjoy the joy and anticipation of the new baby. I would gladly (at this stage in life) trade travel for a grand- baby, or heck, even an adult child (I was always too busy working). Those children and grandchildren will (likely) be there to help you as you age.....relish in the joy of them being in your life!!!! Life has a way of helping you to make decisions (or rephrase: altering plans) . Travel will come for you the following year, and that 2020 will be here before you know it.

Thank you Lola, CL, and Maggie for your responses. Sometimes you just need to put your life in perspective and that is why I posted my question here. I am already feeling better about next year, focusing on the positive - good health, new baby, last year of work with the ability to retire, 2 weddings - life is great for us right now. I already feel the anxiety subsiding. THANK YOU everyone who responsed, you really were a big help.

Yes and this is the time of year I really think about it. If I haven't seen or done something I've never seen or done before, I've wasted a year.

After losing several years going through a divorce, I'm doing reasonably well. This year I went to SW France for the first time and visited Haiti and Jamaica for the first time. I was invited to ski in Vermont, for the first time, in December. Next year Ireland in May (first time north) and, hopefully, Croatia ( plus some Montenegro and Slovenia, all first time) in September.

Wasting a year, is in my mind, one of the worst things I can do. At some point you realize healthy years to travel freely are more limited than places you hope to visit. It's a race against time.

Just tell yourself you will take a trip that is twice as long as usual in 2020 and remember you will get more travel for the price of one plane trip. And having no grandchildren, I would gladly swap a European vacation for a grandchild-congratulations on the coming addition to your family.