No grumps policy

I am sorry to hear about the "Grump" on your trip. Snarky people are no fun to deal with especially when you are on vacation. We do have a "no grumps" policy but unfortunately, inevitably they can occasionally appear on our tours. Each situation is different so there is no hard and set method for handling it. Usually the guide is the best person to go to with issues like this. They can act as mediators and can help settle the problems. However, on very rare occasions people have been dismissed from our tours for various reasons. If someone is disrupting the experience for the rest of the tour members, we take that very seriously and the decision is usually made by several managers. Should you feel troubled by someone on your tour please inform the tour guide or assistant right away so that they have a chance to try correcting the issue as soon as possible. I hope this "grump" has not scared you away from us and we hope to have you all (minus the grump) on a future tour. Happy Travels!

Thanks for your reply Sara. LOL. No, we are not deterred from future RS tours. I understand that this can happen sometimes. I have informed the tour company about this miserable tour member and made clear to them that our guide was wonderful and did his best but sometimes there is nothing humanly possible that one can do. One of our fellow tour members stated that if our guide didn't go to heaven, then no one would. He was super. I wanted to make sure that any negative comments this person made re: the tour did not reflect unfairly on the tour director.

To me the problem is that "grump" is so subjective. Oh sure we all know it when we are subjected to it, but how do you "prove" it? And how can you get rid of someone once the trip has begun?

I wonder if the Grump was so nasty while on vacation (when they should really be enjoying things), what are they like when they're not on vacation? Misery may love company, but company may not enjoy misery! Hope the rest of your memories of the tour are good and not overwhelmed by that one bad participant.

To Cyn -

Right. I think this person is miserable period. The fact that no one was travelling with her says something. I suspect she kicks puppies in her spare time.

Is it possible that everyone is grumpy sometimes? Like during stressful periods? Such as international travel?
Is there someone out there who is so perfect that they would never be grumpy? (Ok, my wife is perfect, but other than her)

The "grump" may just characterize herself as "perfectionist" or "high maintenance" -- may even be proud of it! For those who have to travel or work with her, however...
Glad to know the RS tour management is on top of this.
And me ?? I just want things done the right way -- MY way. ;-)

touring and at home I have long said that many people's personalities would be improved by imbibing a large bran muffin and a huge espresso. for a start

First, I want to be clear that this was not a Rick Steves tour.

The first words out of this woman's mouth in the morning was not "Hi. How are you?" but "This 'Insert place name' is ugly." Her seat on the bus wasn't comfortable enough - this was on a new Mercedes Benz minibus. I offered to change seats with her but she decided to stay in her seat and "suffer". She complained about the hour she had to get up to make our group's flight to the next location and wanted the tour director to change the time of departure because it was too early and she wanted to sleep in. On our last day of the tour she said "I just want to get out of here. Just dump my body by the side of the road." She insisted that we have lunch before touring a site which we did and then opted not to tour the site. She was insulting to the other tour members including one who was an esteemed federal court justice. I could go on but it was constant negativity every day from this woman. She had chosen this particular tour because it was one she hadn't taken it yet. And apparently she hadn't even looked at the itinerary to learn that she had to be in fairly good shape to do the tour. It wasn't just me who thought she was insufferable but the other tour members as well. We all wanted to kill her and that includes the judge.

Since Kent asked:

Dictionary definition:
Grump: one who is grumpy

Definition grumpy: bad-tempered and sulky.

synonyms: bad-tempered, crabby, ill-tempered, short-tempered, crotchety, tetchy, testy, waspish, prickly, touchy, irritable, irascible, crusty, cantankerous, curmudgeonly, bearish, surly, ill-natured, churlish, ill-humored, peevish, pettish, cross, fractious, disagreeable, snappish;

informal: grouchy, snappy, cranky, shirty, ornery
"he can be quite grumpy in the morning"

antonyms: good-humored

Do you think almost everyone is grumpy at some time on an international trip, with the stress?

That person sounds like a grump. But what, really, is a grump?

Exhibit A:

http://tinyurl.com/d46pwru

I have to jump in on this one.

As a former tour director, I have had my share of grumps.

The general policy with most tour companies in regards to grumps is let the tour director deal with it. If it is not an isolated incident, the tour director needs to inform the tour company. If it gets out of control, and is disruptive to the other passengers, the tour company will usually call the passenger to see if there is a problem and if there is anything they can do. They will usually, very subtly, let grump know their behavior is disruptive and ask if they would be happier if they were flown home. If that doesn't work, the tour director will discuss the situation with the tour company and at the last resort the passenger will be removed.

This is very rarely done and part of our training is how to handle the grumpy passenger. I have never had to put anyone off a tour but I know tour directors who have. (And yes, tour directors do trade stories about "key" passengers--and not just the grumps.)

In most cases, that grumpy passenger, is not necessarily a grumpy person at home. But take them out of their comfort zone, change their schedule, keep them more active than they may be used to, fatigue, extremes in temperature/weather, amongst other things, and that can turn a nice person into a grump.

However the person described here is a fluke and rarely seen. The tour company should have backed up the tour director more and taken action.

One note....a small tour with only five people is different than one of 20+. It is much more intimate and the grump will stand out more.

The mistake the tour director made was, as you said, bending over backwards to placate this person. The TD then gave power to the grump. What he should have done was taken the passenger aside and explained that changes could not be made to make this one person happy as that is not what the others are expecting. Then ask the passenger if they are so miserable would they be happier if he helped the passenger go home early. That usually shakes them up enough because the subtle hint is "if you keep this up, you may be going home early."

"On our last day of the tour she said "I just want to get out of here. Just dump my body by the side of the road." "

Being it was the last day of the tour someone should have just said: "okay, sounds like a plan to me". I don't have a whole lot of patience with people like that so I just might have been the one to say that to her. Just kidding - maybe.

I always get a chuckle out of the magnet on my friend's refrigerator. "Some mornings I wake up grumpy. Otherwise, I just let him sleep in".

Mary, maybe the grump on your tour had uncomfortable travel shoes.

Mary, I truly feel for you and the rest of the people on your tour. It only takes one grump to ruin the trip for everyone, especially since it was such a small group. My husband would have left her on the side of road by the end of the first day.
This woman had problems (could have been the shoes). But I do have to agree that the tour director should have taken actions sooner - nip it in the bud before it got so bad. You and the others spent a lot money and time planning your trip and you ended up not having the great time you should have had. Too bad it wasn't the trip on Agatha Christie's Orient Express... would have been easier to get rid of the grump.

Interesting replies to my post. Perhaps as Frank said she should have been offered a ticket home early by the tour company. However, as she is a good customer of this tour company with multiple tours under her belt, perhaps they would be unwilling to get rid of or alienate her. I suspect that her behavior on the tour was her normal behavior at home. No, we were not snooty to her. We were clearly very polite and kind and always inclusive. Too kind in hindsight. I will be interested to hear back from the tour company re: this situation. As a person who has taken very few tours, I wasn't sure how this should have been handled. It's tough when you are locked in a confined space with someone who is so difficult and you are unable to escape.

Sorry you had to experience such a person in such a small group. To me, she tried, and sometimes succeeded, at holding the rest of the group hostage to her "needs." I have a few people in my family who are like that. Thank goodness we don't live close to any of them.

She sounds like a typical half-empty glass person (in all the connotations of that), as well as controlling and manipulative. Somewhere, sometime, somehow she learned that behaving that way would get her what she wanted, or at least attention and maybe even sympathy from others.

We are going on our 1st RS tour in October, to Istanbul. I hope that all those who have signed up for it are aware of the no grumps policy as well as the unique nature of where we are going and are prepared for the differences we will encounter. After all, that's why we are going!

Lo,

I've been on 2 RS tours and there were no grumps. I suspect the difficult person on our tour was an anomaly. Have a great trip to Turkey.

I, too, was a (non RS) tour with a chronic grump similar to Mary's. It was three week archeological tour and we spent most of our time in rural areas. The TL's method of dealing with the grump was to ignore it, at least as far as the rest of us could tell. One hotel was within an hour of an airport. That night three of us confronted the grump, told him/her to knock it off and if that wasn't possible we would help him/her pack and call a taxi. I don't know if the grump's attitude changed but at least he/she shut up for the rest of the tour. By the way, I took a second tour with the same company and the female TL took an instant dislike to me and my "matched" roommate (it was roommate's first tour with them) We have no idea what happened except roomie and I were the only women on the tour under 60 and it obvious that TL had a thing for the male local guide and maybe we were competition? End result of the two experiences, I sent them a letter telling them to take me off their mailing list. I got a letter back telling me I am not a good group tourist and should consider independant travel. I found out later that my roommie got the same letter, we were rather amused at the tour company's attitude. I am a veteran of over 25 tours (53 countries), 7 of them RS, no one has ever accussed me of being a grump.

I don't believe 3 people confronting someone when they have no authority is the answer either, that would be basically trying to intimidate someone into following what you feel is appropriate behavior. I'm surprised you weren't kicked off the tour, but then again it seems like the tour leader didn't know how to lead.

@Ann.....whatever tour company you were on was not run by professionals.

Every tour company I worked for took bad tour-end reviews and written complaints very seriously. To tell someone they aren't a tour person is very bad customer service.

Ignoring a disruptive passenger is bad tour directing.

The sad part is there are some specialty tour companies that allow people to act as "tour leaders" rather than hire a professional. Instead of getting paid, they get a free tour.(Teachers and College Professors are the usual suspects because they have specific knowledge of what it being toured.) Unfortunately, they don't have any real training and wouldn't know how to handle a problem like a disruptive passenger.

This may have been your situation as you said the Tour leader took an instant disliking to you. Even if I wasn't thrilled with a new passenger, I would show them the same courtesy and respect as I would with any other passenger. Everyone is supposed to be treated the same. (Of course, if I was going to show some "extra" special attention to a passenger it was done away from the group.)

I have been on 12 RS tours in the last 13 years and in all of those tours we have only had a 1/2 grump. He was not to the point where he needed to be reprimanded but made way too many negative comments to the point where most of the other tour members were complaining among ourselves about his behavior. At the last tour meal, that individual stood up and apologized to the group for his behavior and said he had just become a recovering alcoholic. In hindsight, I should have said something to the guide early on and asked him to mention our complaint to the offender. Never hurts to keep the guide in the loop.

I've been on 5 RS tours and have encountered a few grumps. On Belgium/Holland last year we had 4 or 5 first-timers who apparently did not read the RS policy they signed. They were surprised that they had to carry their own luggage, walk up steps, get up early, etc. Several really weren't fit enough to do the required walking and standing and ended up opting out of many of the activities. I think it might be a good idea for the RS office to send a separate mailing to first-timers, i.e. "I know you signed this but did you really read it?" Maybe that would help weed out some of the grumps!

Mary, you have my sympathy for enduring this tour with this person!

"She complained about the hour she had to get up to make our group's flight to the next location and wanted the tour director to change the time of departure because it was too early and she wanted to sleep in."

Do I just have a devious mind, or does it occur to anyone else that this was a golden opportunity if handled in the right way?

"She complained about the hour she had to get up to make our group's flight to the next location and wanted the tour director to change the time of departure because it was too early and she wanted to sleep in."

Do I just have a devious mind, or does it occur to anyone else that this was a golden opportunity if handled in the right way?

Technically, as long as the tour director lets the group know that if they are late they could be left behind, and the TD did everything he could to find the passenger, then the woman could have been left behind if she didn't show up at departure time. The passenger would then have to find their own way to the next destination. (Most tour companies usually have this written in somewhere in the fine print.)

I only had to do it once. And believe me, it is not easy to do. I felt terrible but one couple was holding up 40 other people. And that wasn't fair to them.

To Mary -

I realize that this was not a RS tour, but sorry that had to happen to you. Close quarters with someone like that can get really annoying. :)

To Donna -

I took a tour this summer and for the first time that I've seen, there WAS a reminder email from RS re-stating the "No Grumps" policy specifically. It was sent about two weeks before the actual tour date. I spoke with several tour members who were RS tour alumni (some had been on at least 12 other tours) and we all agreed that this was the first time any of us had seen this. At that time, I speculated that it was because the company had seen a dramatic increase in their tour numbers and I suspect that some of these new customers just migrated over from other companies without really being aware of the RS way of doing things. They just signed up for a tour from any old company that goes to Europe.
Clearly, your post helps affirm my beliefs. This even came up (from me) as part of the discussion about RS no longer posting complete tour reviews (see my post dated 7/19 from the following thread) on the website.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/what-happened-to-the-rick-steves-tour-evaluation-reports

I'm curious to see if there will be any more changes, minor or not, as the company continues to grow.

Scary thought: How does this woman function in the real world? Set her own start time at work? Demand to be waited on first at the bank, the post office or the grocery store?

Seems as though this woman has trouble making concessions. She had no business being on a tour regardless of the group size. The tour leader should have been more firm and not give in or appease her. The tour leader could have given her choices: (1) be on time, (2) forfeit the breakfast so she had more time to sleep or whatever or (3) stay behind - the most logical given the events. Rules, time frames, guidelines, etc are in place for a reason. Why should others who do their best to comply have to suffer or wait until she is good and ready? Set an alarm! Go to bed early! Where did she get off making demands? Stay home! On a structured tour, most people would know that a timetable has to be followed for obvious reasons. Travel members pay a lot to get as much as they can while on a trip. No one needs to waste their time with prima donnas.

@Margaret - included in your informal synonyms was "shirty." I wonder if that's a grumpy person at a dry-cleaner's?

I wonder if the Grump is now at home, planning that next "Dream Trip," or if she's now done "all the tours," and is done souring other people's trips?

I received the confirmation letter for my 2015 RS tour today. In the envelope was the Pre-Tour Planner which was updated in 2014. It clearly explains Rick's philosophy and the physical requirements for tour members. The booklet is straight-forward and well written. I hope it deters prospective "grumps" from going on my tour!

Shirty! Now there's a word I love and don't often encounter outside a P.G. Wodehouse novel.

To me, joining a group tour of anything means sucking it up and getting along, as well as going along with the pre-arranged plan. Several times during my last trip I was uncomfortable verging on becoming irritable (alone, not in a group) but calmed myself down by realizing it was only temporary and did what I could to alleviate until it passed, i.e. the plane landed or I found a place to sit and fix my blistered foot.

Slightly OT but not not sure how this should have been handled. On a small group tour.....everyone seeming to mingle on orientation walk. Arrive at restaurant for first group dinner. Within this group is a group of 6 who have traveled together for some time. There are 2 long tables for folks - first one is full....second one is half full. One of the party of 6 has placed themselves such that they are dictating who sits where - placing the party of 6 in the last half of second table except for 2 seats at very end. This effectively cut off the last 2 tour members from others in the group who were mingling and getting to know their tour mates since the party of 6 were interested in mingling only with themselves.

It was not a good start to a small group tour.

Chris - hmmm, too bad the Group of 6 didn't play nicer with others. Did they remain a cluster of 6, unto themselves, for the remainder of the trip? If the last 2 people arriving at the orientation diner were the last to show up, you could also argue that they get whatever seats are left (the early bird gets the prime mingling seat?), but they could've asked 2 people in the Group of 6 of they could trade seats, or try to mingle with those 6 and get to know the rest of the group at a later time.

We've been on, and have organized, group ski trips where the first mingling opportunity was at a more informal gathering, where people could move around a bit and weren't immediately confined to a long dining table. The organizer could also try (if the circumstances allowed) to have everyone introduce themselves and share a bit of background, or what they hoped to experience on the trip, to facilitate getting to know one another. Hope the overall tour went better for you than it sounds like it started.

"On our last day of the tour she said "I just want to get out of here. Just dump my body by the side of the road."

She seems to have set you all up to say, "That's just what we feel like doing!!"

Last year I took several day tour trips from Florence to nearby hill towns. Siena nearly killed me, and toward the end of climbing that city, I may have made a few audible comments about encountering another hill. The other people just ignored me, or snickered and giggled, a few laughed out loud. There was Nothing anybody could do for me.

I thought that the Pisa and Lucca day trip would be doable because the terrain is flat. It was mostly flat, but we had a 2 or 3 mile walk to our train connection back to Florence. That time I had Nothing to say, not because my feet weren't killing me, but because there was someone else suffering way more than I, a young lady who needed a toilet immediately. The best thing we could do for her was to keep walking, fast and steady. She was quite vocal, but we let her be.

I'm just glad others extended courtesies to me, and I always returned the courtesies where clearly needed.