No answer.

Sadly lack of manners seems to be the way of the world today.

As my Mama used to say, “ ___holes come in all shapes and sizes.”

Don’t let these individuals thoughtlessness get you down.

When that happens I assume the poster doesn't understand how this site works. A lot of first time posters think that the answers are coming from a Rick Steve's staff member and that is their job of answer question. Personally I don't do single answers unless I am contacted directly. If it is lengthy and complicated answer, it is probably of interest of the general population as well as person asking. And some of it is just the way it is. If thank you is important and not forth coming, then don't do lengthy, private answers.

Hi SJ, I have certainly appreciated several people who have replied to my private messages and have responded with appreciation. And generally I have received the same when someone has contacted me.

The forum has a few friendly conversational debates occasionally, but generally I think this group is very cordial and has been so helpful to enrich my independent trips. I enjoy being able to help someone else, even if it’s just hearing that they loved a gelato shop I recommended, or I helped them prevent an expensive situation.

S.J. thanks for posting this

Sadly lack of manners seems to be the way of the world today.

Claudia, I'm afraid, is very correct. It seems that good manners and social graces such as politeness, smiling, and saying "please" and "thank you" started to disappear about 50+ years ago. Or maybe, being raised in the South by a mother and several aunts, I'm just out of touch with today's world. At any rate, as Claudia said "Don’t let these individuals thoughtlessness get you down". It's after 5 o'clock somewhere.

Appreciatively, every individual who has sent me a private message has replied back after my response. I wholeheartedly agree that even a simple thank you is welcomed.

After a few bad experiences in which someone didn’t bother to write as little as “thanks” I stopped replying to PM’s altogether. Especially since it’s usually a question that doesn’t need a PM anyway. To me, not replying to an answer given on a question asked via PM is the equivalent of silently turning around and walking away after someone has given you directions in the street.

Sometimes when I’m in a good mood, I first ask some questions like “when exactly do you visit” or “what are your interests”, to test if a person is inclined to reply. Usually the conversation ends there….

I appreciate, and thank, everyone who replies to my private messages. So many genuinely helpful people in this venue.

Not making excuses for the less than gracious out there, but they may not have enabled the setting to be emailed when they have a private message or a reply is posted on a topic they started. If they didn't, they must proactively check messages/posts, which I suspect many people don't do on a regular basis (unless you're forum-addicted, such as myself....but I digress).

PSA: To set up notifications, sign in to your forum account. From the "my account" drop down menu (top right of the page), select "travel forum" and navigate to "edit forum settings" way down at the bottom of that page. Under the "about me" section there are two notification checkboxes - one for private messages, the other for forum posts. Tick the boxes of choice, click update button, and you're set.

Thanks, everyone.
Most people do reply, but the last four have not, and they were the ones asking for specifics!
I think it’s correct to say that some do not have notifications enabled, so perhaps that’s why!

Totally agree, had recently been thinking the same thing

I totally agree with you too S J. When it has happened to me, i send them a PM asking them if they got my response. Every one of those people do then reply and apologize.

I get a message under “Signed in as Susan” that there is a message for me. Doesn’t every one else get that? Can’t just be me.
Ie, don’t need an email notification.

Well, I don’t think it’s a notification issue. Just like Susan, I too see a message after I’ve signed it that there’s a message waiting for me.
Also, if you’ve asked a question and you’re truly interested in the answer, you don’t wait for a notification. You actively go and check to see if you’ve already had a reply.

I’ve thought about it a bit more and I think what actually bothers me is not the not getting a thanks, but the not knowing if your reply has even been read. I put time and effort in a post in the hope of being able to help someone, and so I would at least like to know that my message has been read. This applies to posts on the forum too btw. A lot of people post a question on the forum and then never post another post in that thread. Why? Did they not read the answers? Or did they find the answers were not helpful? Something else?

So the only way of knowing whether or not a reply to a pm or a reply to a forum post is read, is when the OP comes back to the thread/pm.

S J,
I have been guilty of not answering personal messages in the past, but back then I didn't know how to reply. I have since learned the ropes, and if I have recently not answered any pms, it was inadvertent. I believe most of the non-responders have not replied because they were not aware of receiving them, or did not know how to respond. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. (Without being alerted by email I probably wouldn't realize I had a pm.)
When I respond to a pm, yes, I like an acknowledgment, but I don't lose any sleep over it. (Now, if you don't thank me for a birthday gift, as my nieces and nephews sometimes do, or for a wedding or baby gift, which no one seems to do anymore, that is another matter!)
Thanks for bringing up something that is well worth pondering and discussing!

When you sign in it tells you if you have a message. Very hard to miss.

If you read a PM, at the end of the message it says, in big capital letters:
REPLY TO MESSAGE
Cannot miss it.

Way too many Americans just do not say thank you. I see it all the time. Bad enough here, but when i see American tourists in Paris do it it really annoys me.

I ignore such messages, that is what the forum is for and others would also benefit from such answers, so there is no reason to keep them secret.

Blockquote I ignore such messages, that is what the forum is for and others would also benefit from such answers, so there is no reason to keep them secret.

BINGO..... why would anyone believe that participation on a public forum is an invitation to a private conversation? That is presumptuous. As if that isn't enough, there are expectations about how an unsolicited PM is supposed to be responded to? Really?
No. If you want to pm someone, feel free. But yours is an unsolicited venture into someone else's privacy. If they choose to engage and respond, great. If they opt to ignore you, deal with it. You have no right to complain.

I agree with Jim. If your message is of value, post it for all to see.

No one is trying to “keep a secret”!?
Some people ask private questions as they feel more comfortable doing so.

?Not enough coffee this morning……

Jim and Mack totally missed what this post is about. It is about graciously answering a PM, putting effort into the response to provide helpful info, and the person who received the thoughtful answer not acknowledging it in any way.

Thank you, Susan.

Actually, my opinion is unchanged. Who could seriously believe that a person who you have sent a PM to is under any obligation to report back to you? This is simply not a realistic expectation.
I help random people out all the time, but I do it without any associated expectations. I also send PM's. I do it for me. I have a lifetime of experiences that I can share. If I can help someone, it makes me feel good. I don't need them fawning over me to prolong my self-satisfaction.
Having said that, if that person did choose to respond back, that would be wonderful and absolutely a bonus and especially if they followed my advice/suggestions and benefited. But, I have zero expectation that they will, zero, goose egg.

“ I don't need them fawning over me to prolong my self-satisfaction”

No one here said anything about wanting others to fawn over them. A simple “thanks” or at least some acknowledgement is more than enough.

What Dutch_traveler said.

Who could seriously believe that a person who you have sent a PM to is under any obligation to report back to you? This is simply not a realistic expectation.

No expectation. Just simple courtesy. But then I'm the product of a southern upbringing.

Blockquote Who could seriously believe that a person who you have sent a PM to is under any obligation to report back to you? This is simply not a realistic expectation.

No expectation. Just simple courtesy. But then I'm the product of a southern upbringing.

Too funny. I also spent more than my fair share of my life in the South. Born in Georgia, we also lived in Texas while I was growing up. To this day, mam and sir are still my default address to literally everyone. That person holding the door for random people is probably me. And if someone returns the favor, I thank them. But I do not expect it. In fact, I expect nothing. Again, my actions don't create expectations. They are my actions of choice and done simply because it is what I do.
I read, "No expectations. Just simple courtesy." That is an expectation. Simply that someone else behavior is not aligned with your expectations (for whatever reason you may have them) should not evoke disappointment in their behavior or entitle you to judge.

I did not mean to be, and was not being, judgmental at all. Perhaps I should have said "To me it is just a simple courtesy one extends, not that I expect others to be courteous in return".

It is good manners to acknowledge someone that has helped you.
Good manners is important in a society but all too rare in the US.

Saying “thanks” is not fawning.

I agree with Dutch_traveler, I rarely respond to PMs from unknown persons with travel questions. I even felt the need to mention it on my profile page. I'm struggling to see why people send questions by PM, posting them in the forum will give you more answers.

And it would also be nice if people came back to their question in the forum and said something about how their trip went.

I believe some people ask through a PM to a specific person because they may miss a general post question. Such as TravelTexasMom’s recommendations in Albania. Not too many other posters have been there. If I would like an answer from a poster who I think is very knowledgeable about a city, such as Claudia for London or Ms. Jo for Frankfurt, Christmas Markets, or the Camino, I would PM them.
Did I explain myself clearly?

There are many valid reasons to connect with someone through a PM.
The communication is private and personal.
Like Barbara, you like a particular poster’s past posts and travel style and you want only their advice or opinion, not 20 other (sometimes useless) responses.
A poster says something rude and you want to communicate with them politely but privately.
You notice the poster lives near you and you want to connect with them.

I started a travel group so i sometimes send PMs to someone who lives in my area to invite them to join us.

Lots of reasons to reach out via PM.

I may be an outlier here, but I love getting and responding to PMs. Most PMs that I get are from people who have read one of my posts, usually a trip report or hotel review, liked it, and want more details or answers to a specific question. I usually respond quickly, and always - or almost always - get a polite response in turn.

To me, it's part of the fun of being on the Forum, and just another way of sharing our travel experiences.

I'm with Jane. I'll always respond and think it's fun when someone thinks I'm worthy of a PM. I rarely initiate a PM though.

I share Jane's point of view. I appreciate if someone thinks highly enough to ask me a question in hopes of improving their own travels. And I've developed some lovely forum friendships with people who dropped me a note. That's been an unexpected benefit!

In some of my trip reports, I try to remember to encourage questions both on the thread and privately. I like using Badger's idea to put an explicit note about my openness to pms.

I remember being a new forum member and being very, very shy about my early posts.