Newly diagnosed autoimmune- Trip suggestions?

Not quite the same thing, but my husband has just started treatment for leukaemia. We have to be really careful to avoid any kind of infection, and he is also often suffering from fatigue.
We decided that until the condition/treatment has stabilised, we were not going to fly.
We are fortunate in that we can take our car over into France (and thence the rest of Europe), so for our first holiday, we are going to Normandy.
France has good hospitals, and we can be home in less than 12 hours if necessary.

If you are happy for a long journey, how about Venice/Verona and Lake Garda. Easily done by train, and would answer everyone's requirements to some degree.

You should go. I will not go into detail on some pains I had for years, but it never stopped me from going anywhere. If you do not go, you are depriving yourself and your family of this trip. You deal with it. I am sorry for this to happen to you, but the truth is that you either go or you do not. You may not enjoy all of your trip. That is something that could happen anyway. In part we all have times traveling where the enjoyment level is sub par.
If you stay home, you will have the same problems on top of regret that you did not go. Plus, you will have less diversionary activities to help along the way. If you do not go it sets a precedent for any future travel and thus could,become a pattern and maybe your travel days are over. Do not let this deter you.
You should go.
Your trip is only 10-14 days. Surely you can last that long. And, you will.

Janet, I'm so sorry for your new diagnosis and the pain that you're going through. I'm responding as the spouse. My husband had heart disease for 35+ years that became worse and scarier with each year. Long story, but he received a heart transplant @ 5 years ago only to have the lymphoma he has flare up--lots of meds that drag him down! New and more drugs require time for your body and mood to adjust. I'm assuming that you're still adjusting, both physically and emotionally. He now has a better idea of how he's going to feel. When we take trips, I have to remind myself that we can't move at a pace that I'd like. Some days are a total wash and we simply spend time sitting in/outside cafes for breakfast, lunch and dinner (all different for a literal change of scenery). At other times, he stays in bed longer or has to nap.
He does indulge in his passion of fly fishing. It is balm for his soul. It is exhausting for him, though, and because of that he has to end earlier than he'd like, take longer breaks, etc. Being chronically ill is also depressing.

You seem to be concerned about the enjoyment of your family (naturally!) Can you let them take on that responsibility for themselves? Have you thought about somewhere else other than Europe? How about the islands, such as the Bahamas? (I know October is hurricane season, so. . .) Other island groups? Mallorca? Check out timeanddate.com for accurate past weather in detail.

In December 2023, we took our sons, daughter-in-law and grandsons to Costa Rica. On my husband's "slow days" they had plenty to do while we did our thing, so he wasn't concerned about being the albatross. Unfortunately, CR in October is during their rainy season. But, there are options!
We are heading back to my beloved Paris at the end of September (my husband indulges me), but he already has the months of May and half of June scheduled for himself for fly fishing. We've had a long history of learning how to adjust, but adjustment has happened.

Sorry to hear about the health problems. My wife and I spent a month in Malaga taking it easy (and Spanish classes). Big enough town that there is always something going on. Lovely walks by the sea. Good transportation to other places. Great weather. Not as touristy as say Marbella. And there are few good local sites.

Best of luck.

Hi Janet. I love your bio by the way - "creaky old buildings" ;-)

I'm not sure where you have already been, but the Andalusia region of Spain sounds like it could work for what you're looking for, and the weather should be nice in October. Pleasant towns for strolling/sitting while lots to do to entertain your family (although, I agree with Lindy - you're not responsible for the enjoyment of everyone on your trip. Believe me, I get it, and am just starting to learn this for myself). Seville is a nice city where you could happily sit in a square or at a cafe and your family could walk around or visit sites.

My trip report for ideas: https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/trip-report-spain-november-2023

Janet, so sorry this is happening to you. For what it’s worth, my opinion is Go on your trip. It may not be the trip you hoped for but you shouldn’t have regrets, only good memories.
Have you thought about Paris? There is a lot for your family and you to do and see in city and surrounding area. Transportation options are good and easy. On days you don’t feel well, there are parks and cafes for you to sit and people watch then easily return to your hotel for a nap.

My wife has been going through this. She was diagnosed shortly after shoulder surgery. The surgery and recovery were fine, but now she's struggling with the autoimmune issues. We're leaving for a 16-day trip April 1. She met with her rheumatologist yesterday and got a 15-day course of Prednisone to take on the trip. If you've ever taken Prednisone, you know that it can magically make everything feel better for a while. As a steroid, it shouldn't be taken long-term, but she's expecting/hoping that it will be a boost for the trip.

Meanwhile, I just got a shot this morning in my troublesome hip and hope it will also help for the trip and a couple of months beyond.

I hope you can find a way to deal with your issues. Besides the above, we plan for our few days in Paris to be more of an "enjoy the stroll" time rather than dashing all over to see sights. Moving on to the Belgium/Holland tour, which we expect to be one of the less strenuous tours.

Wishing you well, Janet!

Hello, I'm so sorry you are going through this, but happy that there is a diagnosis now and you can be treated and begin to feel better. That's a big thing with autoimmune diseases, so hold on to that. And you still have a few months to go, so it will give you time to heal some more (I started feeling a lot better 4-5 months after diagnosis, lifestyle change and medication). I think you should definitely stick to the plan and go on your trip. Yes, there will be some bad days, but it beats staying home feeling miserable. You will have to be a bit more strategic with your trip. I have traveled a few times when I was not feeling well and still undiagnosed, and these are some things that worked for me:
1. Get your family to help you with trip planning, packing and all the pre-departure chores. These need more work and energy than one realizes.
2. Destination - I have found that a large place like London works better for me as I can sit and people-watch. So for example in Osaka, my family went to visit the castle and when I felt well enough, I went and sat in Umeda station, which was a beehive of activity and enjoyable to watch.
3. Don't change bases too often. This also takes more energy than you think.
4. Don't feel guilty if you need to skip some activities.
5. Use things that help you when you are feeling really bad - hot water bottle? Get a massage?
6. Plan activities that can absorb last minute changes if possible, ie stay as flexible as possible.

I wish you all the very best and a wonderful 50th birthday.

I'll make a specific, quite a specific, suggestion which could also work elsewhere with minor changes.

I think it may work out well for both the family and you. I know it works well for my wife and me. We love it there.

I might consider getting a room at the Dorint Thermenhotel Freiburg near Freiburg im Breisgau in the southwest corner of Germany. Freiburg https://hotel-freiburg.dorint.com/en/

Guests there get free admission through a special door to the Keidel Mineral-Thermalbad Freiburg https://www.keideltherme.com/ which is our favourite spa, and we have tried many in several countries.

Get a car, possibly 2, and on your good days you can go with the family over to the Alsace Wine Route near Colmar in France, just across the Rhine, or up to Strasbourg (special driving rules), or you are very close to the Swiss border (right where the three countries join) with the fun of Basel and Swiss culture, maybe even going up to the Jura meadow where the herbs for Ricola cough drops are grown. That corner of Germany is generally the sunniest area in the country. Closer to home, Freiburg is a lovely place, Staufen nearby is too, you have the Black Forest just to the north and east, a nice part of the world.

On your bad days you can grab a towel and go and sit poolside or take advantage of the various healing waters and different treatments. If mobility is an issue they have all sorts of equipment for safely moving people into and out of the water too, and it is a great family relaxing place. In common with most German spas most of the facilities require a bathing suit, except for the saunas where for sanitary reasons they are forbidden.

I kind of think that sort of a place might meet most of your requirements.

The breakfasts at Dorints are to die for by the way, and they do pretty well the rest of the day too.

You won't be far from Stuttgart and its car connections for the young adults, and if any of you like Ritter Sport chocolate that is where their factory, exhibits, cafe, and store with firsts and seconds is.

Good suggestions already re: where to go. I just wanted to add encouragement to go on the trip. I've had an autoimmune disease for over a decade, and have successfully traveled internationally, both on our own and with a tour. Your family knows your situation, and with some planning can accommodate you if you need a day or afternoon off from being a tourist. Now that you have a diagnosis, and treatment has begun, you can realistically look forward to feeling much better by October. And that is a wonderful thing!

There are also some good threads on this forum about transporting meds, what is available at pharmacists depending on the country, what "just in case" things to pack, etc. You need something to look forward to, and a big trip, planned carefully, will be just the thing. Have fun!

just to add on a little to add to the location I suggested - the hotel and spa are in a forest honeycombed with walking paths, and there is a bus from Freiburg station which ends there.

I can't thank you all enough for the support and encouragement. I teared up reading the outpouring of kindness!

I was originally thinking London and Paris, but worried it would be too much. However, bus tours and boat tours mixed with people watching (and eating everything in Paris) sounds do-able. The spa in the forest of Germany sounds amazing! I'm looking at all of these suggestions. Thank you all so much <3

Lots of well wishes pouring your way!

A couple of years ago, my spouse had a bad ski accident that necessitated three subsequent surgeries. We had a month-long post-semi-retirement trip planned that Spring, and debated whether to cancel or go. In the end, the mental wellness provided by looking forward to the trip outweighed his concerns about what we would do while in France. And it was a wonderful trip. Yes, we had to scale back activities, and he had more naps (while I worked remotely), but we were there, in France! We did less walking, of course, but he still very much enjoyed people-watching at cafes and going out for long French meals.

When he took his cane (which he hated), which was mostly when we went to museums, he was treated very graciously and led to the front of the entrance lines. Many / all museums also provide wheelchairs and foldup cane chairs, which meant that he always had somewhere to rest. I have had back problems in the past, and have had to use the foldup cane/chairs, and even though my disability was invisible, I never had anyone question my request to use one.

When I was having my back problems (a successful major surgery has taken care of the problems for now), the way I looked at my days was that I had X amount of good time. Did I want to spend it skiing for two hours or sitting at home for eight hours? Did I want to spend it in a museum (usually yes) vs. some other way? Did I want to have to ask my husband to pull my bag vs. feeling well enough to sit at a cafe? Think about gauging how you feel like that - if you think you'll have 90 good minutes in a day, decide your most positive way, for you, to spend those minutes.

So, bottom line, my suggestion is to go wherever you want, and enjoy it in accordance with how your body is feeling. I would say, what you are thinking, a big city with lots to do close by might be an easier place. And when you need a rest, or are having an off day, you can do that in your hotel room (and your family can bring you whatever you desire, whether it's a glass of wine, a good book, a cup of tea, a bar of chocolate, etc.). I think it will add greatly to your mental health for you to take your big trip.

I'll add my two cents. Wherever you decide to go, get an apartment or villa instead of staying in a hotel. This way, you'll always have access to something to eat (that you don't have to eat in your bedroom), and you'll have somewhere to sit comfortably that is not your bed. Try to find one with a view of the sea or mountains or even a city street or square. This will allow you to be part of "the scene" even if you don't feel up to getting out. Also, if you're all staying together in a house or apartment, you will spend more time with your kids than if they were in separate a hotel room. It's nothing to do with health, but I used to go on an annual ski weekend with a large group of friends, even though I don't ski, because we always stayed in beautiful chalets with stunning mountain views, gas fireplaces and hot tubs.

Interplanet Janet; the name only brings a big smile thinking about Schoolhouse Rock/Science Rock; which means anyone who remembers it probably has ailments. I had to really work up my bravery for last year's trip to France/Belgium/Netherlands with a recent tough diagnosis. I did great. My husband injured his foot day 1 of our trip in Paris. So if you end up in wonderful Paris; be sure and download the G7 Paris taxi app. You can summons a car to the exact spot you stand. So you can go until you are tired; and then get the taxi. It made the first days our trip amazing!

Wherever you decide to go, have a marvelous time!

Hi Janet,
I'm sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis. I've had rheumatoid arthritis since age 3, so I know all about the fatigue and joint pain that comes along with it. I've lived internationally in 3 countries, and travel a lot. (Like a lot-a lot).

My best advice would be to go but not be afraid to sit things out. Have you thought about using any sort of assistive devices? I have occasionally traveled with a walking boot, wheelchair (that was after a surgery and we went to Prague with a group of friends, but I couldn't walk for more than about 10 minutes), and most commonly, a pair of crutches. I have wrist, but not hand, issues so that does make the crutches easier.

Nigel's suggestion for a spa town is a great one. There will be several options in Europe, but also consider Japan. There is a big onsen culture there, as well as good public transportation. Food for thought. I also find it easier to travel to either smaller towns, where it's easier to walk from point A to point B, or large cities with excellent public transportation. Look for a hotel that is right next to a bus/tram/subway line. The Edinburgh hop-on-hop-off bus tour saved our trip! Anyway, those are some ideas. The thing about autoimmune diseases is that you never know when you will feel really good, or really good, so I wouldn't let it stop your travels.