Month-long (or longer) stays -- Expectations vs. Reality

Did a month in London.

Was everything I knew it would be because it’s my favorite city on the planet.

Stayed at two different Premier Inns, Chiswick and Richmond. Each away from the city center as I wanted to explore outlying neighborhoods.

Walked and walked and walked.

Lunch would be my main meal of the day. Usually at a pub. Great soups and stews. Good respite to rest tired back and feet and use the loo. Also to meet up with friends for lunch.

Enjoyed Lord Mayors Show, Classical Spectacular at Royal Albert Hall, Alexander Fleming Museum, Mercato Mayfair, Marie’s Delicatessen, Theatre, The Line Art Walk, Christmas lights and window displays.

Would try to visit one “ must see “ a site each day.

However, did stay in my room a couple of days when I felt like I was catching a cold.

Would do it again as I’ll never tire of London.

Due to the cost and hassles of traveling to Europe, we have done two weeks at a time in one place and always stay in Europe at least a month when we visit. Retirement allows us to do that. We are planning to stay a month in one location now and expect it to be similar to our two week stays in the past.
We do not expect to be “locals” but enjoy developing relationships with various shopkeepers and a few times with medical staff, not planned but always have been
given good care. We even changed our itinerary one time to include villages a doctor recommended that were off our radar.
We enjoy eating out a lot but do grocery shop at markets too. One landlady took us to her favorite market and shared which vendors had the best products and which to avoid.
The reality was always better than the prior expectations. We speak enough Spanish to get by but no other languages. One time it Italy we arrived on a Sunday and shops were closed. A housekeeper was in the building and luckily was Spanish so we could communicate with her and she could help us find what we needed.
A favorite memory was watching our neighbor, a shepherd, in a Greek village leave every morning with his crook to herd his goats in the nearby hills. This modern day shepherd wore jeans and tee shirts. We never expected that!
Enjoy your month abroad. Wishing you new experiences that you never expected to have!

We have done month long stays in cities of many sizes and strategically placed smaller towns over the past 25 years, one or two per year. We’ve done this with house exchanges so I think we definally get a feel for living in a home, neighborhood and city. We always choose a location where we’ll have access to public transportation in case we don’t want to drive. We have tips from our exchange families to help us see their area through their eyes.

We do feel like we are living there as well as vacationing. We usually have one meal a day at the house/apartment where we’re staying and dine in a restaurant for our main meal. We explore locally some days, further afield on others and during a month long stay we typically take 1-3 little trips away from our base for a few nights.

While we do this by exchanging, I think the same mindset could be achieved by renting an apartment in a nice location and not having FOMO—Fear Of Missing Out—about the places you are NOT going on this trip. We had our first long trip to Europe on a 4 month sabbatical to one German city. We’ve loved all of our subsequent monthlong trips. I do think it’s important to explore a lot of different areas before you decide on a longer stay in one location where you know there is plenty to do and you’ll enjoy yourself.

Did a few days under a month in Berlin - stayed in one place for the entire time. I have stayed just under 140 nights in this area. There is no way to feel like a local because you're not a local, you're a visitor. Am I recognized in the restaurants and the bar I frequent, yeah, but I speak zero Deutsche so there is zero confusion and never has been that I am nothing more than a visitor - your mannerisms and clothing immediately identify you as a visitor. Example of a visitor, I was using Apple Pay in Berlin for 2 years prior to German financial institutions offering the service to their customers.

The beauty of a longer visit to you, is the routine and familiarity you earn of the city.

Winter 2019, we spent 4 weeks in Malaga. We had no expectations. We knew nothing of the city, only that a friend had been there and said it was beautiful. We were looking to get to someplace fairly warm and decided to give it a try. We took a city tour the first morning after we arrived and immediately knew this was the place for us! Though we were unable to return in 2021 due to Covid, we have been there every year since and with each trip spending more time. In 2023, we will be spending 7 weeks in Malaga. We live like a local to the extent that we shop at the same grocery, we get haircuts, we frequent our favorite restaurants, we are comfortable with public transport and are very familiar with getting around the city and where things are located. The city is big enough and has enough sights that we are never bored. We do day trips plus over nights to other towns/cities. We generally eat lunch out and make our own dinner in the evening.

I think it is important to decide how you want to spend your days. We needed a place that had plenty to explore on its own plus the city needed to have good transport options to other towns/cities of interest within a reasonable distance that we could go on a holiday from our everyday life. The first year, I had the overnight trips all scheduled ahead of time. Day trips are flexible.
In 2022, we only did day trips. 3 during a six week stay. We will do an overnight in 2023 but will keep the timing of that open until we are actually in Malaga. Each time we return we do less travel outside the city.
As I mentioned at the top, we had no expectations going in, we simply wanted to get out of winter! So, our experience of long-term stay has FAR exceeded expectations!
Good luck with your choice and I hope you have a wonderful time!

I spent a month in an apartment in Paris and it was the best time ever. I have always loved Paris but only had short visits so I knew it would be great but it even surpassed my expections. I actually ended up taking fewer day trips than I had planned as I was so excited about 'being' in Paris that I didn't want to leave. I wasn't expecting to live as a local because that's not my style or my goal when traveling (I'm a total introvert so don't go in for much socializing). However, I did become a temporary local in that I frequented the same local boulangerie most mornings and stopped by the same little grocery a couple of times a week so the salespeople did start to recognize me and greet me as a familiar face, if not as a friend. That was nice. I didn't do as much cooking in the apartment as I thought I might because I'm a sucker for good street food and Paris is heaven in that respect. Best part was being able to pack light because I knew I would have a washer and the time to do laundry without sacrificing sightseeing time. Wouldn't trade those experiences and my memories of that month for anything.

Just returned from a month in Budapest and it was the first time I ever took a full month off.
Went grocery shopping about every other day (tiny refrigerator), but that's okay because the local market is 400 feet down the road and the meat market was about a 5 minute walk.
Cooked at least one meal a day
Did laundry every other night (tiny washer/dryer and drying took 4 hours)
Waved hello to the coffee shop owner across the street each morning and waved to the bar owner at the end of the street each evening; both I have known for years.
Yes, pretty much lived it as well as one can without being emotionally vested in the culture .... which would be significantly different.

Was what I thought it would be and did not want to leave.

We can only get away for 2 weeks and 3 weekends as I have to look after real estate.
My longest time in Europe was a month in Innsbruck, and we took weekend side trips to Munich, Salzburg, Vienna and Venice. I never tire of the sight of the Alps and have returned many times.
After traveling to Europe 52 years, we're very familiar with most of the larger cities. We try to stay in neighborhoods we know.
Places like London and Paris are now so expensive that we really prefer to stay elsewhere. We've found Spain and Budapest to be so affordable, for example.
On our two week excursions, we now like to stay in 3 different locales--in close proximity to each other. We travel between cities by train up to 3 hours, but we're not above flying on a budget European airline.
It's so easy now to find B&Bs and agriturisimos online. And it's great if they have a washer/dryer, as we can then travel lighter.
My wife has recently been mobility challenged (before having back surgery) however we've found a Baltic or Mediterranean cruise makes travel very easy with her electric scooter.

We too like to get out and hit the neighborhood bakery and grocery early mornings. And we usually picnic for lunch. We cook at night about half the time.

I can never understand the “living like a local” that seems to be an obsession on this forum, as if you don’t speak the local language, you will never be anything other than a tourist.

I rarely go away for less than a month, but I stay in smaller places, not cities. I don’t use hotels. In first world countries, I always hire a car for the duration or take my own. The trips are usually what I envisage they will be, as places will have been well researched on YouTube etc before booking. I don’t use guidebooks.

I shop at local markets and supermarkets and most self cater, rather than eating out every night, which I used to do when I went away for only two weeks.

Just commenting as a reminder to follow this post as we hope to be making month-long stays within a couple of years and have wondered the same thing. We've targeted London and Nice as potential longer term stays. For typical 2 week visits we rarely stay in the same location and rarely have a day that's not full of site-seeing. I'm not sure if that's sustainable for a month, but I'm worried that a month will be too long if I can't keep myself busy.

Staying in one place is easier than moving around all the time. Your brain is really good at finding patterns in things, and you will develop routines before you realize it.

Does it meet expectations? That's up to you. Blessed is he who expects nothing

Blessed is he who expects nothing

For he will never be disappointed.

I can only address the question half way since I didn't spend a month but basically half in one place. That was in the summer of 2017 in Berlin when I booked 14 consecutive nights in the Pension. Getting around meant going on foot or just working the public transport system, usually the S-Bahn, no ride share or rental car as options. A few times I had a ride.

Staying put in one place undoubtedly has its advantages depending on one's interests and how determined (or desperate) one is to track down the pertinent sites. Had I been able to stay another 15 nights consecutively in the Pension, making the total to 29-30 , that would have been nice, welcoming.

Just general observations...

Yes, you can get into a routine that you think is the "living like a local", but really, it is not, you are always an outsider, yeah, people may not care that you are there, will be polite, treat you well, but you are not one of them. (not being mean, just reality, just saying you need to behave as a guest)

You do tend to circulate in a small neighborhood, hit a limited number of shops, markets, restaurants, and that provides a familiarity, and a sense of community.

Cooking...This is a big fantasy of many, we have made some great meals, enjoy simple meals often, but to be honest, rentals rarely have much more than basic utensils and cooking vessels, and the stovetops, ovens, and other appliances are less than optimal. It takes some creativeness to take basic sauté, boiling, and bake to your expectations. Gourmet cooking everyday it is not. After a week, you will be out looking for a sharp chefs knife and a few other kitchen needs. But realistically, if you go out for three meals a day, after a week or so, you will try to find a balance between eating in vs out, more for your own health than due to cost. Maybe resorting to one meal a day out, and likely lighter than what you would have on a short trip.

As for daytrips and sightseeing, after a bit, that tapers off. You simply want to sit back and enjoy being there. Maturity is being willing just to nap the afternoon away, read a book, wander the city your in, without really having a need to "see" anything.

Basically, your doing it right if after three weeks, your in a routine sort of like you do at home. Going intense for a month or more, like you would in a two week trip, just does not work.

If there is any one big city in which I have visited repeatedly or stayed in at length in terms of consecutive days, I would say Berlin is the easiest to go through the semblance of "living like a local, " however, one defines that to his/her satisfaction. You get to familiarize yourself with your immediate neighborhood, the local grocery stores, shops, the post office (?), restaurants of various cuisines and who patronizes these eateries, etc, etc . After a while, you do talk or at least exchange pleasantries with owner, and so.

You read up on the history first, good, bad and the ugly, not only reading travel guides but in depth historical and cultural works. Take tours, if given a choice, not tailored to foreign visitors but those aimed at local visitors, first to obtain an over-view, then return by pubic transport and explore on your own.

First of all, in the general layout, relative to Vienna, Paris, London, I know this city the best public transportation and district-wise, in addition to getting out to the non-foreign tourist frequented areas in both the western and eastern parts. In districts such as Koepenick and Karlshorst you see tourists/visitors as you explore on foot, but they're only talking German.

I have traveled quite a lot, visiting 81 foreign countries and territories.

Also, I lived in Augsburg, Germany for four years and Riyadh, Saudi Arabia for five years. I worked as a civilian for the US Army.

Living in a foreign country where you are employed by the military, we had the benefit of access to the local commissary (grocery store) and Post Exchange (small department store). However, we had to find dentists and doctors on the local economy. Also, some of our needs were not available at the PX and we had to buy on the economy sometimes. You could still get the VAT tax refunded by going through a bit of paperwork.

We leased a nice apartment and the Army covered our rental cost, but we had to pay utilities. We had electric heat and our electric bills were significantly higher in Germany than in the US.

Also, much of what you purchased on the economy was higher in cost than in the US.
I had a diesel car and fuel was about 70% higher than in the US; people with gas cars paid almost double. We had gas stamps that kept the cost down unless you visiting another country, and you had to pay the high European prices.

Having visited Europe a lot after we returned to the USA, we know that particularly in Northern Europe and Switzerland that costs of just about everything are higher. A beer in Norway may be $8 but one in Portugal may be a little more than a dollar.

Buying clothes in Europe is generally an expensive outing. It is best not done.

Going to live in ONE place for a month does not appeal to us. Yes, I could spend 10 days in Rome or London and be happy, but I would exhaust the city of things that I wanted to do and want to move on.

Living an extended time in Europe would also be not so desirable as being separated from family.

Hey History Traveler, I've been thinking about this for awhile, it's an interesting question. Because all of my month or longer stays were pre-internet or silly Instagram expectations, so everywhere I stayed exceeded expectations. (Not everyone KNOWS where you're from, that's just about those who stick out by speech or clothing, IMO. I get asked for directions in many Northern European countries in the local language. And I think times have changed, do you know if that ethnic Chinese in LA is from China, or LA?) I think the main differences have been 1) if I had local friends, 2) whether it's a major resort town 3) a university town, 4) how long I stayed, 5) whether I had a way to get to know locals, 6) learn some of the language, 7) De-prioritize monuments, max one per day & 8) when I had little funds, it meant I was out more in local areas. And lastly, going back is easier! You know some neighborhoods, how to get around, where & what to eat, and are more relaxed.

1. The first time I got on a plane, I flew to Costa Rica as an exchange student for a year. No one would have mistaken me for a local, but I lived in a small town where everyone knew my host family, who generously treated me as family.
2. The second time, I moved to St Moritz, Switzerland to work in a ski resort for a year, complements of a Swiss friend of mine from HS who found me work. No one is from St Moritz that I ever met, way too expensive. So are you in a resort town? But my friend's family, again, treated me warmly, (they were from down the valley, I had a local ski pass, nation-wide resident rail pass, hung out with Swiss & foreigners, but everyone working in St M was from somewhere else.) Maybe being young, willing to travel cheaply, sleep on friends' living room floors, eat cheaply, also made it more 'local'?!
3. The third time (yes, it was more than a year, actually 1.5 years) I was a visiting university student in Tubingen, in then-West Germany. I spoke only German, even to my one American friend, and lets just say we were local students, if that makes sense. I would call that a sub-culture. Yes, we shopped & ate locally, traveled as cheaply as possible, skied a LOT, and really liked buying fresh bread every day. University towns are by definition quite transient, I recall the locals kept to themselves.
4. I'm going to skip the 5th time, Tokyo & Singapore are hardly 'look like a local' places. But I did live there for 18 years, so let's say I knew how to get around, eat local foods, make friends usually at work, etc. While living in Asia, we took a month off to spend with Italian relatives in a working class neighborhood of Rome, again, my first visit, in every way exceeded expectations! I loved the family, of course I'm a foot taller than Nona, no one would mistake me for a local, but we still had a blast. Ate very local, usually at 'home', traveled only with Zio, tried to get some exercise, and oh yeah, let's look at monuments too. One a day was about it, and that's a very nice pace, if you have time! I learned some Italian, no one spoke English in the family & I use Roman dialect words in my Italian now, which cracks up locals. And makes each subsequent visit easier.
5. The only other place I've stayed more than a month before moving part time to Sweden, I lived a few months in the dead of winter in Paris, my first visit, working for a French bank. And that was the least interesting. Yep, it's a fantastic city but I had less time to meet people outside work, although I have a few French friends and spent weekends away. I studied French for a few months, but maybe as a tourist destination, larger city, & not speaking the language fluently, IMO it just wasn't as much fun. I've been back several times as a tourist, I liked it better.

Yes, trying to live like a local is a wonderful aspiration!

I’m not sure if the OP works or is retired, but in the US, many here will agree that vacation is sacred. Many many Americans only get two weeks off a year for most of their lives. Even for executives or for today’s “unlimited paid time off” workers, we don’t truly get away. We check our email, touch base with clients, and answer requests as our staff, jobs, volunteer organizations, and many other obligations follow us on vacation.

The Internet and remote work (mostly due to Covid) has dramatically changed the lives for many people of all ages and from all over the world. We now have the opportunity to transplant ourselves into a historic European town for a substantial length of time and enjoy the pace, architecture, cobbled-stone streets, cafe culture, charming medieval town centers, art, tree-lined piazzas, and castles. We can melt into the lifestyle with time on our side, and enjoy without the pressure of running from sight to sight for fear of missing out.

I, for one, am hoping to settle for a month and “live like a local” every year now that my kids have graduated from college.

OP, we settled in Aix-en-Provence in the fall of 2021 for a month and loved it! It was a town with no big sights, not many tourists (due to Covid) and yet was lively and magical. We feel truly blessed to have had the opportunity. As many of my friends and responders on this thread know, I am struggling to select the next town for which to settle into so I can do it again!! So many amazing choices!

Here is my loooong trip report for our month in Aix:
https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/a-month-in-amazing-aix-en-provence

Have a wonderful adventure! Carpe diem!

I like what Periscope said. 1 month visit, you aren't nearly a local by any measure, but you do get the benefit of living the flow of the place, and certainly will experience the place more profoundly than a short term visitor.

To be honest, some of the places that I've stayed for between 3 and 6 weeks I learned that I didn't like. I had loved Barcelona on numerous short trips, but really didn't like it by the fourth week of an extended stay. Amsterdam I also loved on maybe six or eight short visits. A month-long stay made me feel neutral about the place.

A month is long enough for the first date glow to fade, and then you get a real look at what you've signed up for :)

I was lucky enough to stay three weeks in London and the UK and like Hank it was just enough time to remind myself I wouldn't want to live there and couldn't afford to live where I stayed. As for being a local, I spent my time going to museums and day trips when if I were a local and could actually afford the area where I lived, I would have to work long hours. Riding on the Tube during rush hour would definitely get old as would the crowded feeling of the city. I did shop at the same stores and eat at my sandwich shop, but I never truly felt like a local.

Seeing the UK drinking culture of getting wasted and puking on the streets on the weekend probably was my breaking point. Love to visit the UK but not that.

Bottom line-if you can do it, then definitely go for it. Just remember that you won't live like a local, more like an American on an extended vacation.

Don't want to give the impression that I disliked every long stay place! I spent a whole summer on Santorini working in a night club and absolutely loved it, enjoyed long stays in Tirol, looked back fondly on two separate one month stays in Montreal.

I think a big deciding factor was whether I felt integrated into a group, or alienated/alone. I clicked best with the places where I clicked best with the people I met. Except Barcelona! Lots of nice people around me and I still eventually found it to be an annoying city 🤣

I have done 5 or 6 trips to EU of 1-3 months, and been pretty happy with them.

It seems that after 2 weeks, you get over the jet lag, and get into a new routine. And it's all good. If you are going to pay for airfare, and go through the hellish long flight, and get over the jet lag, then you don't want to just turn around and come back. So 3-4 weeks is my new minimum. And if you buy a rail pass for 1 month, it's not much more for 2 months, and barely anymore at all for 3 months.

It's particularly nice if you are traveling with others. I have done it alone a few times, and after awhile, you kinda feel lonely because you are surrounded by people, but you don't really have a lot of interaction with them - although you interact a lot more with locals on your own than you do when with a spouse.

The main problem is the budget. I would rather than stay 8 nights in a low-mid hotel, than 2 nights in a luxury hotel. So I adjust some of my tastes of food and hotel downward to extend the time. We started cooking our own breakfasts and some of our own dinners too to cut costs. Also, some countries and cities are far more economical than others. In the past year, I have paid everything from 50 eu to 250 eu for a hotel, and ironically some of the 50-80 eu hotels were nicer than some of the 200 eu hotels. For example, we stayed 5 nights in Avignon for about 50 a night and it was fine then paid 200 eu a night for Lyon in a place which was old, and I was genuinely scared we would die if there was a fire because there was a single spiral staircase and we were on the top floor.

Staying in one place is easier than moving around all the time. Your brain is really good at finding patterns in things, and you will >develop routines before you realize it.

We like to stay in one place for 2-5 nights - then make day trips. This works well if you are near a rail hub and have a rail pass. There are a number of places where there is a cluster of nice towns connected by rail. You can do this with a rental car too.

For eating in room, we bring a small cheap can opener, and buy some disposable silverware and bowls, and one cheap 2eu knife for cutting. When there is a room with cooktop and pans, we make soups or fresh fish or pasta with fresh veggies. When we go to fly home, we just throw the knife away or leave on a restaurant table for someone else to find. For breakfast we buy muesli, fresh berries, and soy milk. If there is no refrigeration in the hotel room, we just throw away the soy milk each day and buy a new bottle for 1.5-2.5 eu. Cheaper than 10-30 eu each for hotel breakfast.